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Post by Linda on Mar 22, 2021 20:56:27 GMT
I'm curious if living in the same home for all (almost all) your childhood vs moving often has a factor in how we see our childhood rooms/belongings? I'm not sure I'm phrasing that right but if you were in the same home all along until you moved out (or your kids were) does that make it more likely that the childhood room has been preserved as 'yours' (or 'kid's') vs those of us who had multiple homes/rooms during childhood?
I lived in 10 houses in 5 countries by the time I was 13 and my parents moved house right after I started college (I saw the house for the first time at Thanksgiving). There was always a bed for me (ok - sometimes it was a foldout sofa) but by the time I was 22, there was no longer a room designated as mine.
My oldest (29) lived in 10 houses by the time he was 17 and when he moved out, he boxed everything up and we stored it and his sister took over his room. Again there has always been a bed for him to sleep in but he doesn't have a room. We just moved house and the extra bedroom is a guest room/library.
My middle (20) this new house is only #3 for her (but in the previous house, she had rotated through all 3 secondary bedrooms) - she has a room now but she knows that when she moves out at the end of the year, it'll become another guest room (and probably double as a place to display/store family history stuff).
My youngest (14) doesn't remember her first house and had the same room in the last house for 12 years. She'll be here a while yet but if we're still living here when she moves out (which we expect to), her room will also be a guest room.
The idea being that we'll have space for all three to come home at once or if/when they have families, to spread out some on visits but all of them will also be multipurpose rather than dedicated to just guest room or just them.
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Post by katlaw on Mar 22, 2021 21:02:50 GMT
My parents owned the same house from 7 years before I was born to when my father passed away. After I moved out my room was still my room. There was a bed and dresser in there and if I came to visit that is where I stayed. Same with my brother's room.
My father had no need for a home office or a guest room so he never made any changes to those two bedrooms.
I have 3 children, one has moved out. He no longer has a bedroom in the house. We have created a VR/gaming room and a workout room.
He does have his own home just across town so we have no need of a guest room for him, if we did we may have made different choices.
The other two still live at home.
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compeateropeator
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,898 
Member is Online
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Post by compeateropeator on Mar 22, 2021 21:06:57 GMT
One house. My parents built it the year I was born and are still living there. (57 years later).
ETA- nothing has been preserved though. My parents do have a very large detached garage. My brother and I both had stuffed stored there, although last year they did a huge clean out and we both ditched or took most of our stuff. I have a small condo so I do keep things like my winter/summer tires when not in use and a few other things at my parents.
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Post by myshelly on Mar 22, 2021 21:25:41 GMT
We lived in two homes when I was a kid. They were 3 streets apart (same city, same school, same zip code). Only reason we moved was to go from a 3 bedroom to a 5 bedroom. My parents still live in the second home, purchased when I was 9 (well, just my dad, my mom has passed) and I don’t think he will ever move out.
My husband lived in two homes when he was a kid. His mom still lives in the second home, purchased when he was 8.
My mom lived in one house until she got married, my grandparents lived there until they died, my brother and his family live there now and it’s the only home his kids have ever known.
My kids have only lived in one house. DH and I have lived here for 16 years. We are never moving.
Moving around just isn’t a thing in my family.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Mar 22, 2021 21:38:22 GMT
My family is very much in to staying put! My parents would still be living in my childhood home to this day, but it burned down. They got the house they are in now 37 yrs ago, and they hope to stay in it til they die. As an adult I lived in several apts, til my dh and I bought our 1st house. We only had it for 4 yrs, then bought this house, which we have been in for 30 years. Our dd's were born and raised here. We plan to stay in it until we no longer can. Because my childhood home burned down I was always very aware of saving things, and esp taking pictures. So my girls have a lot of things like that, plus things they loved as kids growing up that I always thought their kids would love. Like the old plastic animals, beanie babies, etc. some of those classic things
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Gennifer
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Post by Gennifer on Mar 22, 2021 21:40:55 GMT
We lived in the same house, but moved bedrooms a lot. (I have 7 siblings, so we all shared rooms in the beginning, but as some moved out we were able to have our own rooms.)
My kids have also moved rooms, and as they move out their rooms will become generic guest rooms.
ETA: My parents live in the same house they lived in when I was born. My in-laws had three different homes since DH and I got married, and my MIL has, since the passing of my FIL, moved on to a fourth.
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 22, 2021 21:47:07 GMT
We moved when I was three and then I lived there until college. Moved here in 87 and lived in an apartment while we saved for a house. Moved into this house in 88 and have lived here since then. Not movers.
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Post by ntsf on Mar 22, 2021 21:48:36 GMT
we lived in two homes, but the minute my parents retired, they sold the house and moved into condos, switching between a winter one and a summer one. now my dad got rid of the winter condo to us.. and he has been sending his treasures home with us over the past 10 yrs. like.. if you want grandmas china.. take it now.
they had taken apart too many relatives homes and wanted to unload stuff.
my husband lived in two homes, but didn't even have a "bedroom" in the second. his folks built a house when they retired and moved into it. very little of his stuff was ever there. his mom is not sentimental and is prone to throw out stuff instead of asking if we are interested.
my own kids--one moved to new zealand and we have some stuff of hers still but not much. one kid lives at home (disabled). one kid has moved in and out of many apartments and has landed back home at various times. we still have some of his stuff, as their apartment now is not that big. they are talking about moving overseas.. so I suspect their stuff may go into storage. my house is way too small to have "bedrooms" available..
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,899
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Mar 22, 2021 22:02:29 GMT
My parents built a new house right beside the old house on their farm almost 40 years ago. DH and I lived in one place for a couple years then bought our house a few blocks away and have been here 21 years. DH's parents bought their place 46 years ago. MIL has passed and FIL still there. We are in the same town as my inlaws and 15 minutes from my parents. My sister, SIL and BIL are all right here and almost all in the same places for years.
My mom eventually turned my room into a guest room and my sister's room into a sewing room with a twin bed, needed the space for the grandkids.
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Post by myboysnme on Mar 22, 2021 22:09:27 GMT
I grew up in several houses but my sister moved into my room when I left home and then my mom moved so although I was in the military when I came home I slept where ever there was room, usually a guest room.
However my sons grew up in the same house and before both of them moved out they had moved to a different bedroom over the garage. Now neither lives at home and their rooms are not really functional as we are using them to store stuff as we reappropriate the rooms for other use. When they do need to sleep here they go to the room over the garage and I will likely try to keep that as guest room. They both have stuff here that they did not take with them.
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Post by epeanymous on Mar 22, 2021 22:14:47 GMT
I lived in one house until I was five, and the second house until I moved out. My parents moved into a condo after I graduated from high school that had a second bedroom for when I came home/came to visit. I'm an only child.
My oldest kids started in one house; we moved cross-country when the younger was a baby and the older was five. The next three kids started in our first house here, and we bought our current house while I was pregnant with the youngest (who was born a few months after we moved in); she and my second-youngest only remember this house, and the twins were five when we moved, so most of their memories are in this house too. My oldest is in college, and had to give up their room; they had the in-law suite, and now my high-schooler has it (they have my high-schooler's old room, which has a great view but is small). I don't know what I plan to do about everyone else. With six kids, there is zero (0) chance they're all keeping rooms in this house forever. I'm probably going to leave the in-law suite set up for guests (including adult kids) as long as we have this house, and probably will keep a second bedroom as well, but not all of them, nooooooo.
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,129
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Post by AllieC on Mar 22, 2021 22:43:55 GMT
We had 4 houses in my childhood so I don't really have an attachment to any of them. Stuff got thrown out at each move so I don't really have much from my childhood which doesn't really bother me.
I know quite a few people who have parents that want to downsize but the "kids" are so upset about selling "their house" that they put awful pressure on their parents to stay.
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Post by freecharlie on Mar 22, 2021 22:47:59 GMT
My parents moved into their house when I was 2. They still live there and I am mod 40s.
They kept my brothers room until I moved out and then they made his room my room (he's 3 years older had graduated college) for me when I returned from college. They made my old room the laundry room.
The brother/my room is now the guest/grandkids room
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Post by whipea on Mar 22, 2021 22:57:19 GMT
Growing up I moved once when I was about 4 years old, from northeastern to southeastern US. Moved away from home at 18 to work and go to college but stayed in the same state. Bought my first house at 19, then have moved to different counties and have bought and sold five different houses in five different cities. On my sixth house in about 45 years.
After about 6 years I get a bit bored with a house and location. I kind of like moving, getting bigger and or better houses with every move. I find it very exciting, the hunt, negotiation then fixing it up and decorating. D/H joined this ride about 20 years ago and supports my real estate restlessness and think he enjoys the change too.
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Post by bc2ca on Mar 22, 2021 23:11:13 GMT
We lived in the same house, but moved bedrooms a lot. (I have 7 siblings, so we all shared rooms in the beginning, but as some moved out we were able to have our own rooms.)  except there are only 5 of us and I was 6 when we moved into the house my parents had for 50 years, so for a couple of my younger siblings it was the only house they remember. We mixed and matched the rooms between us and only moved our clothes, books, posters and personal things. Furniture and bedding stayed with the room. We never hung onto anything we'd outgrown and neither have my kids. ETA This house is the longest we have lived anywhere as a family. The kids (22 & 23) were 10 & 11 when we moved, so 12+ years. This is the 5th home they have lived in and probably feel more "ownership" of their rooms than I ever did. |
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Post by freecharlie on Mar 22, 2021 23:12:43 GMT
My kids have lived in 3 houses.
Ds when to college in the fall of 19 and came home when covid hit. His room was exactly as he left it.
He moved out in July to live with a friend and anything he left is still in his room.. I'd like to make it an exercise room,, but he may come home this summer,, so I am holding off.
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finaledition
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by finaledition on Mar 22, 2021 23:19:00 GMT
We moved a ton when I was young so I really don't identify with a city other than the one I graduated in as a hometown. So I don't have any nostalgic feelings to any of my childhood home and we purged with every move so there was not much junk that accumulated.
In contrast, my kids have grown up in the same town since they were quite young. We have moved houses within this town. So I think I'm a little more protective of that idea of being attached to their room because of my childhood.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Mar 22, 2021 23:54:55 GMT
My parents bought a house when I was born, we lived there until I was 9 and we moved a few streets over in the same neighborhood to rent while my dad built (all on his own with work/trade with friends) the house they currently live in. We moved in with them when I was 11 (I'm 47 now) and are still there. There were 4 kids and 4 bedrooms. My 2 middle sisters shared a room. When I moved to college, my next sister moved into my room. When I moved back from college for a year, I got the 10x10 "box" that was the junk room. After that I moved out to the house DH and I built together 90 miles away. Then DH and I built the house we live in now in 2004. This is the only house my kids have known. Each has their own bedroom. IF we are still here when they move out (it's going to be a while as they're only 5 and 10 right now) their rooms will most likely become guest rooms but we'll probably keep their crap as a "shrine" (My parents words) and they can hang out there when they come home. LOL. Think friends "OMG! I'm sitting in Rachel Green's room!". Our plan is to sell and move when I retire in another 14-17 years.
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peabay
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Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Mar 23, 2021 0:10:48 GMT
I started typing out the convoluted sleeping arrangements we have when our kids come home - but it's easier just to say we make it work. Not everyone has a room that is "theirs" but some do (I have 4 kids) and it depends on who is home with their live in boyfriends (we're not making them sleep in twin beds) etc... It takes planning like D Day, but everyone has a mattress and a pillow.
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Post by padresfan619 on Mar 23, 2021 0:12:47 GMT
My parents still live in my childhood home.
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Post by KiwiJo on Mar 23, 2021 0:42:39 GMT
Not only did I only live in one house while growing up, I still live in it!!
I did move out when I got married at age 20 - my bedroom became a home office for my Dad.
My Mum died when I was 30, and DH, the kids & I moved back into the house.
Dad moved into the flat (apartment) that had been built on the side during my teens, for my Grandparents.
Dad remarried some years later and moved into his new wife’s home, a couple of streets away.
So then it was a case of “Did we keep Dad’s room as it was when he moved out?’
No, we didn’t.
We converted the house and flat/apartment into one bigger house,
DH and I still live there.
I have lived here for 56 of my 66 years.
No room now is anything like it was when I was growing up.
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Post by Basket1lady on Mar 23, 2021 0:52:16 GMT
I grew up and was married from the same house. I took everything of mine with me when I left.
My kids have a much different story. DH is in the military and our move to Belgium was our 16th move. DS has lived in 9 houses. DD in 9 as well of you count this one since she lived her for almost 6 months last year. Between summer and her study abroad which left her with a long Christmas vacation.
DS lived in one dorm his freshman year and then the same dorm the next 3 years. He’s been in his (different) apartment for 2 years now while in grad school. I’d expect him to move to another apartment in the fall and then to a house when he buys one.
DD has lived in a different dorm all 4 years plus her study abroad. She will move back to Virginia in the fall for grad school. She complains about not having anywhere to really call home, but she moves around a lot! Only time will tell where she will land.
All of DD’s stuff is here in our Belgium house where it will stay until we move back to the States. She does have her own room here. We sold DS’s loft bed and bookshelf before we moved to Belgium. He has most of his stuff in his apartment, but has 3-4 boxes of books and special items that we put in long term storage. My parents have his Thomas the Train stuff in their attic. And I think both kids have some things at my brother’s house in the basement. Someday it will all be sorted out and they will have their own stuff.
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Post by AussieMeg on Mar 23, 2021 1:01:09 GMT
I lived at home until I bought my first home at the grand old age of 28yo. (My dad lived overseas for a few years, so it was just me and my brother for that time). Then a while after I moved out, my brother moved back in with his wife and baby son, and they took over the upstairs which was my room and bathroom. So no, I didn't feel like it was mine at all after I moved out.
I am still in the first home I bought, so my kids have only ever lived in one house, and I've only lived in two houses. It will be interesting to see what happens when DD eventually moves out, and whether she still sees it as "her" room. She was telling a friend's mum on the weekend that she expects to be living at home for another three years until she saves enough money for a deposit. So that will make her at least 26yo when she finally gets the hell out LOL!
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Post by refugeepea on Mar 23, 2021 1:18:06 GMT
I grew up in the same home my entire childhood. I also slept in every bedroom and even a extra room with no closet. I was the youngest, so as siblings moved out, I begged for my own room. 
My mom also redid rooms as everyone moved out, which was fine with me. The shag carpet had to go.
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Post by simplyparticular on Mar 23, 2021 1:20:38 GMT
I moved 13 times until age 10, then we moved into my mother’s childhood home due to her mother’s death. The house was too small, so basement and addition were added to fit us all. I was in every bedroom for some period of time. My basement room was claimed by a brother before freshman first semester ended, so I had very little stored except off season clothes. My parents moved when I was 25, and I ended up with all the heritage/genealogy items along with a few high school keepsakes. I moved 10x before meeting DH, so I’ve been very choosy about what I kept.
DH only lived in two houses growing up. Parents are still in the last one - they are pack rats. He still has stuff there, but it’s been shoved into attic so his room can host out of town guests in normal years. Trying to figure out where his year books and school photos are so our kids can enjoy the 90s comparisons, but MIL isnt ineterested in hunting so it still have to wait.
Our kids are only in house 2 and have accumulated a LOT, although we’ve used lockdown to teach them purging skills.
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Post by brynn on Mar 23, 2021 3:27:01 GMT
I lived in two houses: one built by my grandfather and one built by my father.
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Mar 23, 2021 3:33:17 GMT
My sister raised her kids in the same house for their entire lives. Home is that place.
My kids have lived in 6 different places growing up. They don't have a "hometown." For us, our stuff is what makes a place home. Our stuff is our history as a family. Our stuff is the expression of our family's roots and our continuity.
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Nanner
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Post by Nanner on Mar 23, 2021 3:40:32 GMT
We moved around a lot until my parents split up the summer between 5th and 6th grades. We moved with Mom to another province and from 7th grade on, we stayed in the same house. When I went away to university, my younger sister chose to move into what had been my room and her room became the guest room, where I stayed when I came home. I didn't feel like my previous room was "mine" but the house was still "home".
When my kids moved out, we kept their rooms "theirs" for a couple of years, then changed DD's into an office and DS' into a guest room. They still considered that house "home".
We're now in a house that neither of my kids lived in. DD stays in the guest room when she comes home. DS has his own house about a 5 minute drive away. They don't consider this house "home".
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Mar 23, 2021 4:49:24 GMT
I lived in several houses and states during my childhood and teenage years.
When I was 14, we moved across the country. Each kid was allowed one trash bag full of stuff. We were promised that once we were settled, our stuff would be brought out. I never saw my stuff again.
In 1997, I left an abusive marriage. I left with very little.
Both of these things, have had an impact of me, and it's caused me a post traumatic stress. I have attachment issues related to my stuff. I am very territorial about my stuff. I don't like loaning anything to anyone. If I do loan something out, I stress about it until it's returned.
I don't like co-buying things with anyone. When I was in a live-in relationship, I insisted one or the other pay for whatever item we were purchasing that way whatever the item was, it was "owned" by one person only, although we shared whatever the item was. He bought the TV, I bought the TV stand/entertainment center. If I purchased home decor, then I owned it, etc.. I paid for all photos being printed, and they were/are my photos (although I always got a copies made for him, of the ones he wanted). When we went our separate ways, my stuff was mine and his stuff was his.
I think this is why I love studio style living. I like to being able to see my stuff around me.
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Chinagirl828
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Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 7,010
Jun 28, 2014 6:28:53 GMT
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Post by Chinagirl828 on Mar 23, 2021 7:11:05 GMT
My parents were in the middle of moving back into my childhood home when I was born (Dad lived there as a young boy). I lived there until I moved to Melbourne for uni. My former bedroom is now a guest room but it is assumed that whenever I'm staying at home that I will use that room. There's not a whole lot of stuff left in there that is mine, I've been gone for over 25 years, but the wardrobe and dressing table I used as a kid, which were part of the bedroom set I had as a kit and was also used by Mum as a child, are still in the room and there's still an old "my room" nameplate on the door from my childhood.
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except there are only 5 of us and I was 6 when we moved into the house my parents had for 50 years, so for a couple of my younger siblings it was the only house they remember.
