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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Apr 2, 2021 13:38:53 GMT
For me this is an issue that everyone feels differently about... and that's okay.
I did not take much from our house when I divorced and the bed was one of many things I left behind. When I married again, he had a lovely mahogany rice bed and we used it, mattress and all, for quite a while. We bought all new (well, 'old' from an estate auction) furniture for our master bedroom when we moved into a new house in January of 2020. We bought a new mattress then basically just as an upgrade.
I can't say I ever felt any particular way about the bed from my first marriage or the 'bachelor days' bed of my now-husband who had been single for over 15 years when we married. They were just beds to me. But I certainly understand those who are bothered by associations with the bed. We each have to do what feels right for us.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,578
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Apr 2, 2021 15:22:22 GMT
Yep, I didn't want to sleep where I'd slept with the ex., even though I think we were the only 2 to use that mattress.
I also went mattress shopping the day after my exBF died. It was a gut thing-- he didn't die in bed, but I *needed* a new mattress.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 18:15:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2021 15:34:11 GMT
DH(#2) actually threw out his bedroom set w/ mattress as soon as his wife decided to move out. Bad memories.
On the flip side, I was so upset that ALL the furniture that I paid for in my house was taken over by my STBX. He really ripped me off in every single way! Our Separation Agreement listed what was each of ours and that we'd abide by that fact. He just ignored all of it & I couldn't afford to hire a good lawyer. He wound up living in the house (that I paid for, but he refinanced it--long story), on my furniture..... He had no problem sleeping on our good mattress for a few years (until I shortsaled the shit out of it and he had to move out! I was going to lose the house to foreclosure anyway, so I did a fast shortsale).
But, YES, I have heard about divorce/breaking up/ separation, and getting a new mattress. Wouldn't make a difference to me if I loved the mattress!!
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,078
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Apr 5, 2021 13:51:38 GMT
New mattress and new bed here. He took the old bed cuz it didn’t bother him how many extra people he’s entertained in it I guess? I doubt he bought a new mattress though.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,078
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Apr 5, 2021 13:59:26 GMT
Umm, you guys do realize that people do have sex using other surfaces besides beds, right? I’ve got a new sofa, loveseat, and upholstered chairs too. The dining table, washer/dryer, and kitchen island will just have to deal with continued copious amounts of cleaning products lol.
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Post by fotos4u2 on Apr 5, 2021 18:35:01 GMT
No new mattress here. He bought a new one along with an entire bedroom set when he moved out, but I kept the old. I would have happily kept that mattress longer as it was a super comfortable Cal King. Unfortunately it didn't fit in my new downsized house that I moved into 10 years later. I'm now sleeping on youngest kid's queen mattress (she's away at college and new house was purchased with the idea that the kids would visit, but never move back in).
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Apr 5, 2021 21:20:06 GMT
i bought a new mattress as i was stuck in the house for almost 2 yrs and was not sleeping in that bed (he was still in it). i was on the couch, then on a series of air mattresses in the spare bedroom. after waking up in the deflated middle of the air mattress (so on the hard floor) i ordered a double mattress/boxspring for under $400, charged it to our joint credit card. boxspring didn't fit up stairs so i spent the next year and a bit sleeping on a mattress on the floor. ex took our king size bed and it is in the bsmt bedroom at his mom's cottage - he would have kept it but that is the only room it would fit in... his new bsmt apartment is way too small for king. funny, first time i slept over at my new and improved guy's place he mentioned he bought his bed after he and his last gf had broken up. i was like "okay, umm, good?!". i mean i assumed he changed the sheets... but wasn't thinking a "never been sexed in before" bed was a dealbreaker?!
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