craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Apr 9, 2021 21:20:12 GMT
Olan , I learned a lot from this thread. Thank you for that. I knew that transracial adoptions and foster care placements can be problematic, but have understood that white families outnumber families of color in the foster care system. I thought that it was better for children to be part of a family of whatever color than to be continually shuffled through the system. And that may be true. But what I've learned from reading here is that the problem begins long before placement. The first problem is that children of color are more likely to be removed from their homes than white children. And also - children are removed from their families due to neglect/poverty, but then money is given to their foster families to house them. That money would be better spent in lifting these children out of poverty in their own homes, with their own families. Typed out it seems pretty basic but I had never put these thoughts together before. Thank you for educating me. Me too. Thanks Olan |
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Olan
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Olan on Apr 9, 2021 21:40:12 GMT
Olan , I learned a lot from this thread. Thank you for that. I knew that transracial adoptions and foster care placements can be problematic, but have understood that white families outnumber families of color in the foster care system. I thought that it was better for children to be part of a family of whatever color than to be continually shuffled through the system. And that may be true. But what I've learned from reading here is that the problem begins long before placement. The first problem is that children of color are more likely to be removed from their homes than white children. And also - children are removed from their families due to neglect/poverty, but then money is given to their foster families to house them. That money would be better spent in lifting these children out of poverty in their own homes, with their own families. Typed out it seems pretty basic but I had never put these thoughts together before. Thank you for educating me. Me too. Thanks OlanI recognize the time it takes to give something another thought and track down the information to help frame a new way of seeing something. When I say I appreciate it. I truly truly mean it. All I’ve ever really wanted from the peas was for someone to click a link and read something that might spark a change of heart or activism. |
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Olan
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Olan on Apr 13, 2021 14:23:43 GMT
“If you (all of you who are neither Republican nor Trump supporters) had read my comments closely, we might have avoided the whole debacle.” peanoThe level of irony and hypocrisy makes it impossible for me to sit on my hands. |
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Post by delila on Apr 14, 2021 18:34:50 GMT
I think it’s bigger than hair textures and belonging. I don’t know one Black adoptee raised in a white family that didn’t need extensive therapy or didn’t have issues with addiction and self loathing. I think Black foster kids are seen as “less than” so the vetting that goes into placements just isn’t the same. The Hart children Abby Johnson‘s son, and Rachel Dolezal’s adopted siblings come to mind. Super long read but informative AF isreview.org/issue/91/race-and-class-us-foster-care-systemI’d like to introduce you to my son who needs no therapy, is well adjusted in society, has an education, has a well paying job & is respected in his community & extremely loved for the person he is not for the color of his skin. He also is not involved in drugs & has never been. My son is 33 years old and is nothing but a joy to be with. |
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Deleted
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Nov 23, 2024 16:02:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2021 19:04:48 GMT
My son is 33 years old and is nothing but a joy to be with. That is very lovely to hear. This has been a great discussion, peas. |
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Post by fiddlesticks on Apr 14, 2021 19:36:01 GMT
This is such an interesting subject. I have a friend who adopted both her children from Korea who are now teens and are both struggling so much. She and I have talked extensively about this over years because I am adopted myself. I know this differs for people but being adopted has been really difficult for me beginning in my teens and into adulthood and I was the same race as my parents. Adding race and culture on top of that makes it even more complex. I am grateful this is becoming something talked about.
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Olan
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Olan on Apr 14, 2021 23:47:30 GMT
I think it’s bigger than hair textures and belonging. I don’t know one Black adoptee raised in a white family that didn’t need extensive therapy or didn’t have issues with addiction and self loathing. I think Black foster kids are seen as “less than” so the vetting that goes into placements just isn’t the same. The Hart children Abby Johnson‘s son, and Rachel Dolezal’s adopted siblings come to mind. Super long read but informative AF isreview.org/issue/91/race-and-class-us-foster-care-systemI’d like to introduce you to my son who needs no therapy, is well adjusted in society, has an education, has a well paying job & is respected in his community & extremely loved for the person he is not for the color of his skin. He also is not involved in drugs & has never been. My son is 33 years old and is nothing but a joy to be with. I can see why my truth filled statement about my lived experience could be taken personally by adoptive moms. Nothing in my statement says there are no Black adoptees thriving. I just talked about the journey it takes to heal because that’s been my experience with adoptees Listen I’m glad you raised a healthy human being. The last thing I want to see is Black people hurting needlessly. Though I hope he is loved for the color of his skin too. Those articles talk about growing up in a household that doesn’t see color. They all say the same thing. A success story doesn’t change the fact that Black children are 4xs as likely to be removed from their home than their white counterparts. Oftentimes for no good reason. And that the homes they are placed in are abusive and damaging. Devonte Hart and his siblings didn’t get the life they deserved and IN MY OPINION after they were at the bottom of the ocean their case got swept under a rug because no one wants to talk about this issue. Did you see that old thread? Those babies deserved way more 😔 A success story also won’t change the fact that I’ve lost a loved one because they couldn’t reconcile what happened to them and why no one cared. We all have stories. Mine doesn’t cancel out yours and yours can’t cancel out mine. Room for it all. |
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Post by delila on Apr 15, 2021 1:18:47 GMT
Olan the interesting thing about my son is that his mum asked me to take him into my home & raise him as my own when she had 3 sister who lived close by who were not willing to step up & do it. She was also married to his daddy who was not doing right by the child & she saw this & knew he was better with me.
My sons birth mum was my friend who died & before she died she & I sat down so she could tell me how she wanted me to raise him & what values she wanted me to give him from her. I did my best to do that for her.
By far the hardest convo we had together was her telling me to make sure he was safe from the police. I truly did not understand what Michelle meant. I was heartbroken & confused. By the time he & my biological son were driving I had that shit figured out. They would get pulled over by the police just bc it was a black child & a white child driving a nicer vehicle. I taught them to have the phone on so I could hear the conversation between them & police. It never went wrong but I was always on edge & ready for fallout.
I agree that black children are not treated equally in foster care or anywhere in life & I don’t agree with any of that.
I have also seen another side where Michelle’s family didn’t want the white woman to raise their black child but they also didn’t & wouldn’t do it either.
I’m so very sorry that you have faced so much discrimination in your life. Please believe me when I say that not all of us white people are nasty and racist. I have never in my entire 56 years said the N word & will not tolerate anyone saying it around me.
I will stand on your side & fight for your fights as a black person & as a woman. You are very loved by me even though we have only interacted a few times on this board.
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