Transracial adoptions in media

There are many articles on Asian children that were adopted by Caucasian families. Many grew up in area with few Asians around. When they grow up they realize they are neither Asian enough nor White enough. They don’t know where they fit in. And didn’t Obama sort of experience this. He was raised by his white mother and lived mainly in non-black areas. He started reconnecting with his Black heritage in college.

That's a pretty extreme statement to make. How many black children do you personally know that were raised by white parents and how do you know they have extensive issues (unless you are their therapist)? 

Do adoptees have issues because of their adoption? Yes, some do. Also some don't. I have 2 sons who aren't not white (both adopted). One has had some issues with his adoption and being raised by a white mom. The other could care less. 

I was adopted, raised by white family - I had issues. Not of self loathing nor did I need extensive therapy but I did have some things I needed to work through. And I was the model adoption - at birth, closed adoption...still had some issues to work through. 

I would refrain from making such bold statements as they are not accurate. They also tend to sway people who have been considering adoption. I can't tell you how many times some person I met was shocked that I adopted a 6 yr old boy from foster care. Surely he was dangerous and had a ton of baggage because "someone's cousin adopted a kid once and that kid had all sorts of problems". 
That's the type of things your statement does....

Can you point out the inaccuracies in my statement? Not as you’ve read it but as it’s typed? In its entirety. How can my lived experience (really a second hand account of someone else’s) change adoption plans?





You’ve shared your lived experience and I’ve shared mine but let’s not forget research has already been conducted and ACTUAL adoptees have shared how growing up with white patents impacted their lives. Tons of personal blogs. Tons of dissertations. Tons of niche therapists and therapies. Way to read right past the three specific adoptive cases I named too. I hate a partial quote.

Well, I thought you weren't interested in my opinion, but since you asked, I liked what she said because I agree with what she said, particularly in disagreeing with blanket statements. I think there are a lot of issues going on with adoption in general, and then when you factor in transracial adoption issues, that adds an extra layer of complexity. I had already read the WaPo article, and I found it cringey in many places--the white savior factor particularly, and the willful promulgation of the "colorblind" society, which obviously does Black adopted children no favors.

I don't know where the "try for another row with me" part enters in with this. This is a discussion board with many different topics, and disagreement and different life experiences are often part of those topics. I don't understand why a thread on transracial adoption should be any different.

Fair point. I was trying to multitask, I suck at multitasking and didn't give it the careful read it deserved.

I saw this discussed on "This is Us" too and I hadn't really thought about it much before. I have some white friends that have adopted children from different races (one from China, two from Africa and two from South America). The kids (now ages 12 - 18) all seem to be living thriving lives. They do well in school, are very involved at church and seem like well adjusted and loving children. Of course I don't know how they truly feel or how they will feel once they are adults. We live in a multi-cultural city, I don't know how that effects how they come to terms with their adoptions/race.

Would life be better for these kids if they stayed in foster care without real families? They may have several homes while other adopted kids in the class have stable homes?

I have seen Korean adoptees who miss their Korean culture and grew up with loving parents (as per the article). Is a homeless baby or one in perpetual foster care better?

Or it could just be I'm sleep deprived, trying to negotiate problems with an ongoing bathroom remodel, having my DH continually interrupt me while I'm typing, and figuring out what's going to go with the ham. If you consider any of my replies smug and insulting please let me know so I can review them.

It's not extreme. She is sharing HER EXPERIENCE. Nowhere did she say that it applies to all transracial adoptions. It's anecdotal, but worth considering, not dismissing.

Adoption is the way most of my close family members became parents, I actually only have one biological relative of the next generation of my family. 2 were domestic adoptive siblings, the others are from China or Thailand. My best friend adopted from China. I cannot imagine my life without these children. I cannot imagine their parents lives without these children.

The girls from China came from "good" orphanages. The images of the rows of cribs tied together and the small outside space one had seriously makes my chest hurt thinking about over 12 years since I saw them. The other orphanage didn't even have an outside space and was in a skyscraper type building. It is doubtful the girl from there had ever been outside. When they turn 14 they age out. Isn't it better that the children are adopted then left to grow up that way?

I have known several children adopted from China that had to wear special helmets to help reshape their heads because their skulls were flat from being left in their cribs for so long. I know the caretakers in the orphanages care for those children and do the very best they can for them, but it is absolutely no way for a child to live.

The child from Thailand was in a foster home with 2 other children, one who was severely cognitively impaired and hurt the younger children. The child was 12 years old and was not responsible for his behaviors but the foster family were not able to keep him from hurting the younger children. I am also not sure my relative had enough to eat as he had major food insecurity issues for about a year after he came.

I realize this all smacks of white saviorism but I don't think those adoptions were wrong. None of the family members were able to have children of their own. Adoption was their only path to becoming parents and I have to believe that the children are safer and better cared for then they could have been if they were left in the conditions they were in.

Children are removed from parents in the US because they are not being cared for (although sadly, not often enough) is that white saviorism?

I am trying to be understanding of how hard it must be to be raised by people who look nothing like you and who do not have an understanding of your heritage, but I just will never be able to think that is worse then growing up the way they would have to grow up if they had not been adopted.

I know I am rambling, i apologize.

I don’t think the parents of these children make them feel beholden.   They are certainly not discussing the conditions they were being raised in with them.  

Do you think children should not be adopted?  Obviously it would be best if children were adopted by parents of the same race, but that is not feasible or realistic. 

I am honestly curious on if you think Caucasian or Latina parents (one of the parents in my family is Latina) should not adopt children from China or Thailand?