Chronic pain sufferers: help me help dh

If you can, spend the down time with him. If he has to lay down or whatever, but isn't sleeping, spend time with him. There's nothing worse than feeling lonely. Even if he doesn't want to talk or interact, the feeling of you there can help.

I hope he can get some answers soon to at least know what's going on!

If painkillers make a difference, then make sure he keeps them topped up, and uses the maximum amount he can. I have RA, and a pain specialist once told me to think of the pain as coming in through a gate. Her instructions were to head off the pain before the gate opened fully. If painkillers can be taken e.g. every four hours, then don't leave a five hour gap. Does that make sense?
When I used to be up a lot during the night because of pain, I liked to have warm cosy throws and pillows on the couch, and I would watch something familiar and undemanding on TV. DH would set up drinks and snacks for me on the coffee table before he came to bed, so that I didn't have to drag myself to the kitchen when I could barely walk.

I hope your DH gets a diagnosis soon.

My son suffers from chronic pain. It's been a year of prostatitis like symptoms that have left him bedridden and out of school (he's in grade 10). He's had every test under the sun and no formal diagnosis.

A month ago I came across some books by Dr. John Sarno. The MindBody Prescription was the first one I read. Then I watched an old 20/20 episode with John Stossel and Dr. Sarno on YouTube. I applied these principles to my son. His pain went away 100% for 2 weeks. After having 24 hour a day, 7 day a week debilitating pain for a year!

Now his pain comes back here and there throughout the week but I am always able to coach him through it and it goes away after a few minutes.

If I didn't see it myself I wouldn't have thought it possible. My son has every personality trait mentioned by Dr. Sarno.

We were at the end of our ropes, and had nothing to lose. You can read his reviews on Amazon as well. I was extremely skeptical, but my son obviously wasn't because he trusted me and listened to what I had to tell him from what I learned from Dr. Sarno, and it worked.

I really recommend at least trying one of his books.

I deal with chronic pain too. I absolutely agree with leslie's comment about staying on top of the pain. If I am a bit late in getting my pain pills, it makes a huge difference. It is like they can never catch up once the pain gets ahead of you. I frequently end up having to take a Vicodin in addition to my normal pain medication to help it catch up. When I stay on top of it, everything works much better and there is not as much obvious change between when one pill wears off and the new one kicks in.

I live alone, so I can't comment as to what has been done for me that made me feel better. I'm sure other peas can help in that way.

I am concerned that he won't take more than ibuprofen. People seem to think they are being more responsible by "only" taking over the counter pain meds. The problem is, most over the counter pain meds, taken for a long time, can end up causing some very serious problems and even death.

When a pain management doctor puts you on a pain medication, they know if you're going to be on it for a long time and prescribe accordingly. I will be on mine the rest of my life, so I am on a time released medication that does not harm the liver or kidneys in any way. Has he discussed proper pain management with his current doctor? Living in pain affects just about every part of your life. You don't sleep right, your concentration is off, you are irritable, and on and on. I would try to encourage him to get on a decent pain management if his pain is a daily problem. Then maybe when they diagnose what is causing his symptoms, it can be dealt with and his pain might go away.

Also, don't rule out the fact that he could have two things going on at once. I have all the symptoms with the exception of burning sensation. His symptoms do partially match up with Fibromyalgia.

My husband and I both suffer from chronic pain. I have Intractble Chronic Migraine and he has horrible back issues from his military days. We often joke that we are quite a pair, but honestly just the 'understanding' of what the other one feels like being in daily pain with no end in sight really helps.
We help each other the best we can. Mostly that means helping each other avoid things that accelerate the pain. For example, for me, part of this illness includes photophobia and phonophobia. So, he tries to keep the noise level down and has built block out panels for the skylights in our bedroom. When I have a day that I cannot get out of bed due to the pain, he puts the panels in for me.
Human touch is another way we help each other. He will massage or put pressure on my head for me. I will lay my hand on the really bad area of his back for him. In time, we have learned just how much pressure to apply.
I help him by carrying in the groceries, helping him lift objects, doing things for him that he would have to bend to do. For example, if he drops something, I will pick it up for him to avoid a bend on his back.
As a previous poster noted, just lying down by each other soothes, as the world of chronic pain can be a lonely one. Spending a whole day in bed is depressing for me, as I cannot participate in 'life'. Just having him by my side there for awhile reminds me that I'm not alone in this world.
Sometimes just the acknowledgement that I'm hurting is helpful. There is a surprising amount of comfort to hear him say, "I'm sorry you're going through this and I wish I could help." Having pain every single day of your life is a hard concept to grasp if you don't suffer from it. Just accepting that there are things we just cannot do and not being blamed or judged for it by at least someone has truly saved my life when I just didn't think I could or want to continue living.
The fact that you started this thread asking for ideas shows that you are loving and compassionate. He's a lucky man. My migraines have worsened in the past few years and I have lost friends because they just don't understand. And that's ok, but I still have him and he still has me.
Good luck in finding ways to help. It can be as simple as bringing him a glass of water, really. Just helping each other through life is sometimes all we can do to help.