I Feel Like I Shouldn't Save For Retirement *Updated*

I have nothing helpful to add. I just wanted to let you know I read your post and I'm so sorry that you lost loved ones so early and that you have to worry about your health and the future like this. I'm glad you're thinking about preventative measures. ((hugs)), Olan.

I am sorry to hear this. And I can relate. My brother died at age 57 in March from pancreatic cancer. He was stage 4 when diagnosed and died less than two months later.

One of the things he insisted on doing, even while he was so very sick, was to get genetic testing at MD Anderson so his sisters as well as anyone else related to him by blood could find out if we have the gene and take preventive measures.

It turns out the middle sister and I have the BRCA 2 gene that he had. Only our youngest sister's test came back negative.

Middle sister had ovaries removed last Thursday and will schedule bilateral mastectomy and breast reconstruction later this week. My mastectomy and reconstruction is scheduled for December 9.

Our insurance (United Healthcare) is paying since I tested positively for the BRCA2 gene. Three oncologists have told me 87 out of 100 women with this gene will definitely get breast cancer by age 70. Therefore, I don't feel my sister and I have a choice. I watched my mom suffer so badly with breast cancer, so I want to do everything I can to avoid it.

So thankful my sweet brother loved us enough to get the genetic testing. It was truly his last gift to us.

Didn't mean to hijack your thread, but wanted you to know you are not alone. We can do this!

Please keep us posted!

I understand how you feel. I've been told for years that I will die early. I have a lot of serious chronic health problems and am in chronic pain.all day.everyday. 

Dh and I started investing for retirement as soon as we got married. We planned the amounts to be witheld from our paychecks and invested assuming that there would be no social security anymore. We have quite the nest egg now, and I'm glad we have it so that my dh will be taken care of in retirement. I also have life insurance--to pay for $$$ medical treatments and debt and maybe a bit leftover so dh could take time off work.  

I try not to think about my almost inevitable death all the time. Everyday I try to find the positive in the world and my life. I want to enjoy the time I have. I do have life threatening illnesses *now*. I have lived under the dangling shoe of possible uterine and ovarian cancer. That was an awful experience. 

I did have a hysterectomy and have both my ovaries removed. I'm glad I did it. I would have already had a double mastectomy with reconstruction if the surgery wasn't too risky with my blood clot disorder and heart problems. I definitely need a breast reduction, but all my doctors say that the surgery is too risky. 

You don't have cancer yet. You're healthy. Breast cancer treatment has come such a long way. It's no longer a death sentence. I know you're worried, and rightfully so. Being a Christian is no guarantee that you won't get cancer--I think that your sister is at a much greater risk because she won't be doing self checks and keeping up with her exams, etc. because she thinks she's invincible.

God's plan doesn't always make sense to us. He does use all our experiences for His glory. I've met people that I would have never met if I hadn't become ill. I've seen God's hand in my life. I do get tired of people that think *they* have some special power and insist that they can *heal* me or insist that if I only *believed* that God would heal me--or that God had miraculously healed them *because they were much more pious than me*. Just ignore these people. They're not spreading God's truth. 

Only God knows the number of days inscribed on our feet. I'm living and planning my life as if I will live for years and years. I've also planned for my death as well. I think as stewards of all God has blessed us with that we should use our resources the best. If I were you, I'd plan for retirement. If you don't use it, then you can give that money to your family. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. --I do understand how you feel. I wish that I had more money *now* instead of it going into the bank for "retirement", but that's the prudent thing to do. 

There is a hidden blessing in living like you are dying. I really enjoy the time I spend with my family. I don't leave things unsaid. I'm much more grateful and enjoy everything in my life. I hope I live a long time, but I also don't want to die without my family and friends knowing how much they meant to me. 

Olan, I'm sorry you're even having to consider all this

I just lost a close family member to cancer way too young (just turned 43), and it has rocked my world.

Sending you good thoughts. I wish I had something wise and wonderful to say.

Olan, will do. (((HUGS)))

I can relate to your feelings.  I too feel like I will die young.  The women in my family do not live long lives.  My maternal grandmother died in her forty's, my paternal grandmother died in her forty's, her daughter died at 45, my mother died at 54 and my sister died at 52.  I am 53.  They all died from different things but still young. I do worry about it sometimes more than others and sometimes just tell myself to let it go, what will happen will happen and just enjoy what I have now but that is not always easy.  Sorry for what you're dealing with and hopefully you can find a way to feel better about this.  

(((Hugs))) to all who are dealing with health issues!

Listen to Melissa.  

I have a friend who had the preventative surgery last month. She doesn't regret it for a minute because now it's one less thing to worry about. I felt the same way when I had my hysterectomy (precancerous tissue probably caused by the Tamoxifen I took for breast cancer, at least according to my doctor) and we discussed whether or not to take my ovaries also. I said get rid of them. One less thing to worry about.

Now obviously ovaries aren't the same thing as a mastectomy because they're not visible, and so much of our culture is based on someone else's idea of sexuality. But you can have reconstruction if you want, or wear a bra that's fitted with prosthetics.

Do get in touch with the genetic people, talk to your health insurance, and see if you can find some people who have had the surgery. People who are HAPPY with the surgery. There is always going to be someone who has to tell you all the horror stories and you don't need to listen to that. 

Prayers as you make all these decisions.

I was diagnosed with colon cancer aged 48 , after 20 years of inflammatory bowel disease, when my children were 18,13 and 6. I was worried I would die during surgery and wished I had more to leave my kids to help them on their way into adulthood , with me not being there to help. I was very lucky they took the whole cancer out ( I lost my whole colon) and didn't need chemo.

I don't think anyone ever regrets saving! When you have had the op, the all clear etc then you will have a nest egg to look forward to, whether it be for retirement or a dream holiday, car you've always wanted or whatever! I don't think it ever hurts to save for the future .

You have a chance to avoid this horrible disease and I am so glad you are taking it! My doctors wouldn't operate on me to prevent cancer, although they are doing so now for some patients. Good luck to you and NanaKate!

Ohh..

and one more thing...

Latest research indicates ONLY the tubes need to be removed. It's the latest, greatest news in ovarian cancer, especially hereditary ovarian cancer! No more early menopause. Too late for people like me... who still wouldn't even be in menopause, but great news for younger women!

Such good advice on here about genetic testing.  Someone I know was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.  Her cousins died very young from breast and ovarian cancers and because of that, her doctor decided to go deeper on the genetic testing than just the BRCA before deciding on treatment.  The testing came back and she ended up only having a lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy.  Genetic testing can be a fantastic tool. 

Spongemom Scrappants said it well:

This post makes me sad.  I am so sorry for all the loss you've had, but don't stop living.  There are no guarantees in life and you still need to plan for retirement.  With newer treatments there is so much hope for people with cancer.  

I completely understand where you're coming from: Grandmother, three maternal aunts, and my mother all died from breast cancer. My sister had breast cancer 8 years ago. It's scary. I had genetic testing and am positive for BRCA II. I felt doomed. I had a preventative double mastectomy in 2006 and it was a huge weight off my shoulders. Testing, screening, and surgeries have come a long way. Be vigilant -- but live! Please contact me if you have any questions.