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Post by dewryce on Jun 28, 2021 17:57:07 GMT
“I can barely keep up with the projects I want to do for myself! I am sure you will understand that as I work full-time, do x, y, and z, I don’t have time to take on commissions for other people. But thank you for the compliment of wanting me to do it - I’ll be sure to let you know if I ever decide to go into business!” We have a winner! There's the response. It's as nice as I can possibly get. I like it, but at the same time it, we shouldn’t have to justify how we spend our time. Can you imagine someone asking a man what he does with his time in a situation like this? So I’d probably take out everything in the sentence before “I don’t have time to take on commissions for other people.”
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Post by tc on Jun 28, 2021 17:58:35 GMT
Totally validated. My usual response to people who are close to me is, "You can't afford to pay me to do it." Snarky and bitter, but it's the truth. If I charged them my hourly rate of what I make at work to make something for them including raw material expenses, they would say no in a second. Sticker shock. For people asking me to make scrapbooks - especially for high school seniors, I usually steer them in the direction of, "If you want something relatively affordable and durable, you may want to look into albums that you can get printed from a place like Shutterfly. You just need to find your pictures. And you can print one for yourself and one for the graduate to keep." Sometimes they go in that direction. Sometimes they don't.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 28, 2021 18:01:04 GMT
We have a winner! There's the response. It's as nice as I can possibly get. I like it, but at the same time it, we shouldn’t have to justify how we spend our time. Can you imagine someone asking a man what he does with his time in a situation like this? So I’d probably take out everything in the sentence before “I don’t have time to take on commissions for other people.” That is a very good point. I think sometimes in the interest of kindness we (I'm pointing the finger at me) aren't as firm as we should be. And like Sharla said, it's really insulting to say that to someone.
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by muggins on Jun 28, 2021 18:05:10 GMT
In the words of Phoebe Buffay, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”
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J u l e e
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Post by J u l e e on Jun 28, 2021 18:21:23 GMT
I like it, but at the same time it, we shouldn’t have to justify how we spend our time. Can you imagine someone asking a man what he does with his time in a situation like this? So I’d probably take out everything in the sentence before “I don’t have time to take on commissions for other people.” That is a very good point. I think sometimes in the interest of kindness we (I'm pointing the finger at me) aren't as firm as we should be. And like Sharla said, it's really insulting to say that to someone. Agreed. I think, “thank you for asking me but I don’t have time” should replace your original response with the offer to point them toward resources. Come out with not having time first and don’t give them the chance to use that as their response to being turned down.
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Nanner
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Post by Nanner on Jun 28, 2021 18:36:16 GMT
"You couldn't afford what I'd have to charge you. Seriously.".
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 28, 2021 18:41:09 GMT
That is a very good point. I think sometimes in the interest of kindness we (I'm pointing the finger at me) aren't as firm as we should be. And like Sharla said, it's really insulting to say that to someone. Agreed. I think, “thank you for asking me but I don’t have time” should replace your original response with the offer to point them toward resources. Come out with not having time first and don’t give them the chance to use that as their response to being turned down. I think you are exactly right. With that said, however, it feels uncomfortable to me (and yes, I know uncomfortable is a total cop out, wishy-washy term) to say that when clearly people can see that I craft all the time and yes, why I do have time for crafting. I just don't want to do your project, I'd rather do mine. Do you see what I'm saying?
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 28, 2021 18:42:18 GMT
In the words of Phoebe Buffay, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” This is the God's honest truth, though. I simply don't want my time to go to their project. I want my time to go to my projects.
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Post by Jockscrap on Jun 28, 2021 18:43:53 GMT
Non-crafters generally have absolutely no idea how long projects take to do. I got to the point where I resented spending my craft room time making stuff for other folk, and learned to say no.
My favourite comment, which was probably the most common, was that making cards must save me so much money - lol!
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 28, 2021 18:48:33 GMT
I once had a BIL who wanted to know how much it would cost to have a quilt made. He could not believe that the cheapest one would start around $200. And that was for a machine quilted one, not hand quilted. Many times when people ask me to do things and I tell them how much the supplies would cost, they lose interest.
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Jun 28, 2021 19:04:39 GMT
If something is valuable to you, you find the time, if not you find excuses. You find value in your crafts so you find the time. A simple response of I only do this for fun and for me, but thank you for thinking of me.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 28, 2021 19:07:24 GMT
A simple response of I only do this for fun and for me, but thank you for thinking of me. I like this response. Very much so.
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Post by Patter on Jun 28, 2021 19:13:38 GMT
"Sorry I don't take on commission work. I choose to make a little time for me so I can be the best mom and wife I can be. Have you thought about taking 30 minutes a day for yourself?"
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Post by yodutchess on Jun 28, 2021 20:30:57 GMT
A simple response of I only do this for fun and for me, but thank you for thinking of me. I like this response. Very much so. My hobby is canning and baking. I enter canned goods in county fairs for the thrill of winning ribbons. I have stopped posting on FB since the posts are followed by “ where’s mine”, “I’ll be right over”, etc. I will give it away to people I choose. I can’t sell it, I don’t meet my state’s cottage food laws to sell homemade food. It is all made safely, or I wouldn’t win at the fair. But, I don’t grow this food I can, and there is a lid shortage from the pandemic. So, not cost effective, just something for fun.When I do give it away, it almost has to be a secret. Darned if I do and darned if I don’t.
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Post by jemmls4 on Jun 28, 2021 21:04:04 GMT
I hear you. I did an album (turned into two) for one of my niece’s for college graduation. That meant I was obligated for my other two nieces from other SIL. I didn’t begrudge it, but the one SIL in town didn’t get me photos or anything until about a month before she wanted it! I had to tell her “I need the stuff by x date or I will not be able to do it”.
My other SIL was on the ball and had everything to me early, in baggies, with notes, sorted by year/event. What was so cute was she called one night about it and I was out. She was talking to DH (her brother) and he was telling her how to sort it and label it, and told her to include school names, mascots, and school colors. My daughter told me the story when I got home.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 28, 2021 22:43:28 GMT
I am probably one of the most laid back people you will ever meet. But I have an ongoing problem with people asking me to provide crafts for them. I know I share posts about my crafting on my Facebook wall but I don't get where people have the chutzpah to just ask you to make things for them. I get it all the time with my crochet. And I finally posted on my wall after a run in with my cousin's wife around Thanksgiving last year about how long it takes me to make things and how it's my hobby and I only want to spend time making things that I want to make. But I've just returned back home from my lunch time walk and I have a Facebook message by an acquaintance asking me if I will make a scrapbook for her high school senior for his graduation next year. I gave my standard response which is no, but I'd be happy to guide you to some resources so you can do it. And then I got back the same exact response as my cousin...I don't have the time to do so. Time. She doesn't have the time. But I have the time apparently. What in the hell are people doing with all their time that they don't have time to craft but I do? She has a whole year to get it done. Anyway, that's my vent. And I know I've vented before about this topic. But I'm honestly at a loss as to what to say to these people. I just want to slap them and say what the hell are you doing with your time that I have more of it than you do? Maybe they think you’re awesome and your talents are superb! Maybe they think you’re doing crafts for resale, they ask—what have they got to lose by asking? Maybe crafting doesn’t come east for them or they don’t have confidence or skills, so the go to whom they think is a pro at it. I’d just tell them a nice “no” if I didn’t want to do it. I wouldn’t get all twitchy and my panties in a bunch about it if it was a random once in a while request, but if people were constantly badgering me, then I might be more terse in my response.
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Post by Mary_K on Jun 28, 2021 22:43:55 GMT
But I've just returned back home from my lunch time walk and I have a Facebook message by an acquaintance asking me if I will make a scrapbook for her high school senior for his graduation next year. I gave my standard response which is no, but I'd be happy to guide you to some resources so you can do it. And then I got back the same exact response as my cousin...I don't have the time to do so. PERFECT response! Mary K
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 28, 2021 22:53:34 GMT
papercrafteradvocate I didn't respond at all to the time comment. So I didn't get terse. I vented. Because this isn't the first time. And I think that kind of comment is rude.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by rickmer on Jun 28, 2021 23:13:29 GMT
how about.... change the subject and ask what they recommend on netflix. when they list of the 3-4 series they have just binged, you could reply "yah, i don't watch netflix, that may be why i have more time than you".
okay, not.... but i would love to. guy i am seeing goes on about "not having any time" for anything. then when we sit down to try to watch something on amazon or crave... umm... he has seen them all. *shrug*
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Post by pepperwood on Jun 28, 2021 23:59:05 GMT
The funniest request was when a friend was admiring a needlepoint project and asked if I would make her a video teaching her how to needlepoint. I am sure she could find multiple diagrams and videos online. I don't do how to videos and would have to get a camera mount so I could use both hands to stitch.
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Post by twinks on Jun 29, 2021 0:04:01 GMT
I have kind of a similar problem. I make Caramels at Christmastime. Years ago, when I wasn’t working outside the home, I made them and sold them. I rented out a professional kitchen for a week and made them. My profit margin wasn’t great but I had fun. I sold to a particular friend who just keeps buying them from me. However, he has not a clue of the time involved nor the effort. I have raised my price over the years but he keeps buying. He is nice but he and his wife only have contact with me when he wants something - like Caramels. We aren’t talking a batch or 2. We are talking he wants 50 boxes (about 14 batches). It ruins my whole holiday. I don’t have it to do my treats for my friends and family after filling his order. Last year, right before Thanksgiving I had a total knee replacement. It was a great joy not to have to fill his order. I had it together to do a couple of orders that I wanted to do and I got some treats for my family and friends. It was delightful and very much appreciated. I don’t mind doing things for people when they appreciate it and don’t take advantage of my time.
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Post by MissBianca on Jun 29, 2021 0:06:27 GMT
Sure I can make one, the starting price is usually $500 but with the friends and family discount I start at $1000.
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Post by 950nancy on Jun 29, 2021 0:38:32 GMT
Once my SIL told me she just didn't have time to document her family's life. My kids were in elementary school and her kids were out of the house at the time. I just said we all have the same 24 hours a day. She never said anything after that.
When people ask me if I'll make a book for them, I tell them that I won't work on anyone else's stuff until I finish my own. Ha. I'm behind 8 years.
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seaexplore
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Post by seaexplore on Jun 29, 2021 0:51:57 GMT
I am probably one of the most laid back people you will ever meet. But I have an ongoing problem with people asking me to provide crafts for them. I know I share posts about my crafting on my Facebook wall but I don't get where people have the chutzpah to just ask you to make things for them. I get it all the time with my crochet. And I finally posted on my wall after a run in with my cousin's wife around Thanksgiving last year about how long it takes me to make things and how it's my hobby and I only want to spend time making things that I want to make. But I've just returned back home from my lunch time walk and I have a Facebook message by an acquaintance asking me if I will make a scrapbook for her high school senior for his graduation next year. I gave my standard response which is no, but I'd be happy to guide you to some resources so you can do it. And then I got back the same exact response as my cousin...I don't have the time to do so. Time. She doesn't have the time. But I have the time apparently. What in the hell are people doing with all their time that they don't have time to craft but I do? She has a whole year to get it done. Anyway, that's my vent. And I know I've vented before about this topic. But I'm honestly at a loss as to what to say to these people. I just want to slap them and say what the hell are you doing with your time that I have more of it than you do? Their priorities aren't in the right place to allow them to get things done. I love to craft. I do most of it because I enjoy it. I give away stuff sometimes, I charge for stuff sometimes, I take commissions sometimes. BUT (and this is a HUGE BUT) it's on MY time and MY choice if I want to take it on or not. You can always make the price so high they'll say no. On things that I enjoy doing and are "easy" for me, I price them reasonably and somewhat low sometimes. On things that I don't particularly enjoy doing or things that take me a lot of time/skill, I price them really high. If someone is willing to pay me $500 for a quilt, sure I'll make it for them! (FTR no one ever has) LOL
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by muggins on Jun 29, 2021 0:59:06 GMT
The funniest request was when a friend was admiring a needlepoint project and asked if I would make her a video teaching her how to needlepoint. I am sure she could find multiple diagrams and videos online. I don't do how to videos and would have to get a camera mount so I could use both hands to stitch. I have noticed that all too often on my FB crafting groups. Many people who do not understand written instructions and expect other people to make how-to videos for them or rewrite them in a simpler form. I often ask what their budget is for this service just to subtly remind them that people should be paid for their time and expertise. No one has ever replied. I’m currently learning to knit again after 40 years as I want to make a specific item. I am using countless YouTube tutorials for every step of the way including how to read the pattern. I would love a YouTube tutorial specifically for this pattern, but I’m not going to ask someone to film one for me. Rude.
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peabay
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Post by peabay on Jun 29, 2021 1:00:41 GMT
I like this response. Very much so. My hobby is canning and baking. I enter canned goods in county fairs for the thrill of winning ribbons. I have stopped posting on FB since the posts are followed by “ where’s mine”, “I’ll be right over”, etc. I will give it away to people I choose. I can’t sell it, I don’t meet my state’s cottage food laws to sell homemade food. It is all made safely, or I wouldn’t win at the fair. But, I don’t grow this food I can, and there is a lid shortage from the pandemic. So, not cost effective, just something for fun.When I do give it away, it almost has to be a secret. Darned if I do and darned if I don’t. But aren't people just complimenting you and saying nice things when they say stuff like that? I don't take those kinds of things literally - it's like if someone said "yum!"
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Post by hookturnian on Jun 29, 2021 1:07:35 GMT
I have kind of a similar problem. I make Caramels at Christmastime. Years ago, when I wasn’t working outside the home, I made them and sold them. I rented out a professional kitchen for a week and made them. My profit margin wasn’t great but I had fun. I sold to a particular friend who just keeps buying them from me. However, he has not a clue of the time involved nor the effort. I have raised my price over the years but he keeps buying. He is nice but he and his wife only have contact with me when he wants something - like Caramels. We aren’t talking a batch or 2. We are talking he wants 50 boxes (about 14 batches). It ruins my whole holiday. I don’t have it to do my treats for my friends and family after filling his order. Last year, right before Thanksgiving I had a total knee replacement. It was a great joy not to have to fill his order. I had it together to do a couple of orders that I wanted to do and I got some treats for my family and friends. It was delightful and very much appreciated. I don’t mind doing things for people when they appreciate it and don’t take advantage of my time. I honestly don't see how he is taking advantage of you. You are the person selling the product, and you are the person naming the price. All he is doing is purchasing from you. It's no different than if he went down to the local shop. He probably thinks of it as supporting a local small business rather than a chain.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jun 29, 2021 2:10:31 GMT
In the words of Phoebe Buffay, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” This is the God's honest truth, though. I simply don't want my time to go to their project. I want my time to go to my projects. And there is not a darn thing wrong with that. People who have the balls to ask you to do crafts for them (usually at your cost) don't need to be handled with kid gloves. I learned that lesson a long time ago. They weren't worried about offending me, so why should I worry about their feelings? I was a seamstress for many, many years before I even began to quilt. It was unbelievable how many people would ask if I did alterations when they learned about my degree and skill set. For the record, I don't even do my own alterations (save an occasional hem or button). My answer is "No. But when you find someone please share their information as I'm also looking for someone!" To date no one has given me a referral. They are all looking for a freebie. When people ask me now about sewing for them (clothes or quilts), my stock answer is "This is my hobby. Doing it for others would turn my hobby into a job, which would take all the fun out of it." That shuts them up pretty quickly! And the worst one for saying "Make me one!" when I post a photo on Facebook is my youngest sister! Sheesh!
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jun 29, 2021 2:19:40 GMT
I would simply say No, I am not able to help you. Good luck with your project. Have a nice day!
No is a complete sentence. The first few tmes of saying it can be hard, but the more you say "no" they easier it becomes to say.
I think you need to let these type of help requests go in one ear and out the other. Don't waste time worryng about it or thinking about. Simply reply to the message, text, email, etc... with the same standard reply of >> No, I am not able to help you. Good luck with your project. Have a nice day!
Takers will always take. Givers will always give. You as a giver, need to establish >>> BOUNDARIES!
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 29, 2021 7:54:08 GMT
papercrafteradvocate I didn't respond at all to the time comment. So I didn't get terse. I vented. Because this isn't the first time. And I think that kind of comment is rude. What was rude? The comment about not having time? My comment?
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