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Post by wrongwayfeldman on Oct 22, 2021 17:30:06 GMT
DH and I live in the midwest. Same state we were both born in and have lived here all our lives. We own our home, a few acres, and are doing ok with savings, but not nearly enough to make any huge changes. He's about 7 years from retirement, and I'm content with about 10 or 12. I have absolutely no desire to stay here forever and honestly, the thought of it makes me so sad. It's a red state, and even though our lone city is very liberal, I'm so tired of being under this governor, as well as being so far away from any other place I'd rather be.
Either coast would ideal to me, but the cost of living is so low here that the thought of that expense is overwhelming. Our four kids will likely all end up in big cities, and likely on either coast as well. I think it would be so intimidating for DH to pick up and move from a place he's just comfortable, but I am craving something different and more exciting, and not wanting to settle.
Our oldest is on the east coast with her fiance and they will likely stay there or the west coast to raise a family, but there is a slight chance they could choose something in the midwest, like Chicago or Nashville. Our second two kids want to relocate to Oregon or California, and our youngest is looking at colleges in the PNW.
Friends keep telling us that the midwest is going to be the hot spot of the future as the coastlines start to disappear, but I'm old enough that I doubt that'll happen in my lifetime. DH says it'll be cheaper for us to stay here and travel to where the kids are in rotation than it would be for us to relocate to a more expensive city where they might move from down the road anyway.
Sometimes I think getting a motorhome is a good idea, so we could downsize our home here and travel to where the kids are without having hotel bills, but I'm not confident in my ability to handle something like that on the road. I also think about finding some little hut in the Bahamas to watch the sunset and let them all come visit me, but I know that would not be practical.
How do you make these kinds of decisions? We don't have any other family besides our 4 kids, so you think it would be an easy process. I'm glad we have time to figure it out, but I was wondering how other people decided how to factor so many elements into retirement.
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peabrain
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,588
Jun 25, 2014 22:18:04 GMT
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Post by peabrain on Oct 22, 2021 17:35:49 GMT
I think you should start to travel where you think you'd be interested.
Dh has always wanted to move to the mountains. We recently took a short trip and guess what?! It's really not for us. The switchbacks just about killed dh and my ears took almost a month to get back to normal. But now we know.
We've thought about the RV thing too. So we may rent one for a short trip to see.
I don't know your governor, but I kinda assume they all aren't very good. I don't think I've said to myself, "Man that guy is really doing a bang up job in that state!" I think it may be a grass is not greener on the other side type thing. But I could be wrong LOL.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Oct 22, 2021 17:38:06 GMT
We are starting to think about retirement as well. DH plans to work until he's 70 (he's 65 now), so we have a bit of time. Only one child and she is here currently but still single so that could well change in the future. We are finding that if he likes an area I don't, and what I love he doesn't. Will be following this thread to see what others suggest and have done.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Oct 22, 2021 17:39:25 GMT
It's pretty easy for us - my parents retired to Newfoundland 15 years ago, my brother and his husband are moving there this year, and my older son is already talking about moving there after graduation (both of my kids have spent every summer there since they were 5).
For me, it's home and for my husband, it clicks all of the boxes. And, the cost of living is low enough that we can spend our winters travelling.
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Post by ~summer~ on Oct 22, 2021 17:48:35 GMT
I think you need to do soul searching and think about what you really want your life to look like. Perhaps even list out all the factors and then rank them. Maybe being close to your kids and soon to be grand kids is most important. Reading your post you don’t sound happy where you are. If most or some of your kids end up in the PNW I’d consider that area.
For me personally- I’ve been thinking about this a lot and traveling and walking and I’ve realized I actually want a much more urban environment- I want to be in a big city where there is a lot to do - good restaurants, museums, architecture, shows, diverse people, vibrant neighborhoods, large parks and a good airport. I also don’t want the upkeep of a large, old house. So I’ve basically settled on a new condo or in a good shape house in a big city with ideally a second home in mountains or just travel when a need a respite from the city.
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,658
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Oct 22, 2021 17:51:09 GMT
We will be staying here, but if I had a lot of money we would be going to Mexico.
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Post by katlady on Oct 22, 2021 17:56:00 GMT
We plan to stay where we are. The house will be paid off, there is a lot of activity nearby, and the weather is generally great. I am fortunate that my boys are in the area, and so far, plan to stay, or at least stay in So.Cal. We do once in awhile play with the thought of moving to Hawaii to be closer to the larger family, but I really don't like humidity and big bugs. Mosquitoes love my blood too much. The only thing with where we live now is that you pretty much need a car to get around. As we get older, I'd love to be able to walk to the local store or somewhere without driving.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 22, 2021 18:06:26 GMT
When we were on our first date, I told my then boyfriend I wanted to live in Colorado Springs. After graduating from college three years later, he found the only opening in the city for his job and took it. I kind of felt like that was a sign we were meant to be here. I cannot imagine moving anywhere else. I could see doing a month somewhere warm in February, but other than that, I'm staying put.
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Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,972
Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
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Post by Sarah*H on Oct 22, 2021 18:46:17 GMT
We travel to the places we are considering and see how it fits. We had long ago agreed and settled on a location but once we started looking at properties and researching it in depth and talking to the year round residents, it became clear that it wasn't the right place for us. The Trump era only solidified that it was not a community in which we would feel comfortable long term. So we continue to explore and we're settling in on some general areas.
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,741
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Oct 22, 2021 18:48:35 GMT
If any of your kids end up in cities on the west coast as you mentioned, there are parts of the PNW that are certainly cheaper than the Seattle/Portland areas. Maybe you could live in a spot in the PNW that is cheaper and ticks other boxes for you but is an easier drive to see the kids more often. But cheaper places in the PNW most often equal more red which sounds like it isn’t your thing. But overall WA and OR are blue so maybe that evens out. Lol Idaho and Montana could be options, too. I’ve head Idaho is “the next big thing” so some of that might not really be that affordable but other parts are.
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Post by bc2ca on Oct 22, 2021 18:54:14 GMT
Friends keep telling us that the midwest is going to be the hot spot of the future as the coastlines start to disappear, but I'm old enough that I doubt that'll happen in my lifetime. Okay, this made me LOL. I am a firm believer that coastlines will continue to erode, but the midwest is going to deal with land loss due to climate change, too. That sort of thinking should have us all heading to the hills, so your friends should take a good look at Rocky Mountain states. If most of your kids are being drawn to the PNW, and your priority is to be near them, I would definitely look there. The major cities are all very expensive but there are parts of all states that are still affordable. For us, a huge factor is weather. We both want sun and the least amount of humidity as possible, so it is hard to beat southern California. Our other priority is being close to family, especially after 18+ months of not being able to see them. The pandemic reinforced for us that we will split our retirement between BC and CA.
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Post by anniefb on Oct 22, 2021 18:59:03 GMT
I have 4-5 years until retirement and am staying here. I live in one of Auckland's suburbs, love my house and the location where I am (have lived in this area really for most of my life) and see no need to move.
I'm in NZ's largest city, close to good medical care, shops and community facilities, museums and theatres etc but also close to beaches and open spaces as well. I don't have kids and don't have family here in NZ, apart from one lot of cousins and most of my friends are here in Auckland. I certainly wouldn't want to start again somewhere else at retirement. The other thing is that property prices are much higher here so if people move out of Auckland they can't always afford to move back.
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Post by ntsf on Oct 22, 2021 18:59:28 GMT
we are just staying where we are.. have a second home/condo.. but our kids are all over. one lives in new zealand, one is moving to new york next summer, one lives with us. grandkids are not in picture ever.. so we will just travel to see them or they can travel here. even rural washington/oregon have some cheaper areas 1-2 hours outside the cities. but I like being in an urban area.. services are close.
maybe you end up with a condo or something smaller that doesn't take maintenance --and is cheaper.
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Post by kristi521 on Oct 22, 2021 19:11:34 GMT
When we were on our first date, I told my then boyfriend I wanted to live in Colorado Springs. After graduating from college three years later, he found the only opening in the city for his job and took it. I kind of felt like that was a sign we were meant to be here. I cannot imagine moving anywhere else. I could see doing a month somewhere warm in February, but other than that, I'm staying put. I have gone to Colorado Springs a few times for a work event. I fell in love with the area, so beautiful! I do not think I would deal well with the snow/ice in conjunction with the hills (the snow I can handle, I have lived in MI my whole life, but pretty flat in my area).
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Post by Darcy Collins on Oct 22, 2021 19:17:38 GMT
We'll relocate to where our kids settle or stay here where we're at a major airline hub and travel to them if they're in different parts of the country. I love our little town, but ultimately I want to be where my kids/future grandkids are or have the ability to visit them regularly. My husband LOVES our house and I know he'll push for keeping it and just traveling - and that's fine if he understand the reality that we will absolutely travel regularly and for chunks of time to them. I'd never retire anywhere that doesn't have a major airport as travel is so important to us - both for vacations and family. That's the only non-negotiable part for me.
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Post by ~summer~ on Oct 22, 2021 19:18:14 GMT
We travel to the places we are considering and see how it fits. We had long ago agreed and settled on a location but once we started looking at properties and researching it in depth and talking to the year round residents, it became clear that it wasn't the right place for us. The Trump era only solidified that it was not a community in which we would feel comfortable long term. So we continue to explore and we're settling in on some general areas. i totally agree with this - I’ve often thought certain places seemed perfect - but then once you spend some time there your opinion changes.
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Post by mollycoddle on Oct 22, 2021 19:29:23 GMT
I have a rather large circle of friends here. Yeah, it’s unfortunately a red state. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to make new friends at my age. So I’m staying. I have a few friends that have moved south and love the weather, but nothing could induce me to live in that kind of heat and humidity.
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Post by jlynnbarth on Oct 22, 2021 19:47:38 GMT
This is a weekly topic for dh and I. We still have 10 years to go, so so many things could change between now and then, it's hard to make a firm decision. Our kids both live Military lives. DS is in the Air Force and dd's husband is also in the Air Force. They both joined within a week of each other, so they will both be eligible to retire from the Military at the same time, in 13 years. We kind of want to see where they end up before we make any firm plans. They both should know in that last 4 years of service where they want to put down roots, and knowing them (my dd and ds), they will want to be near each other, as they have a very close relationship. My dh is SICK of the winter here in Eastern WA, but he LOVES it here in Summer. There are plenty of hospitals, including a VA hospital should we need that option, a major Airport etc... All things we will need as we age. The problems besides the snow in the winter, is the cost of living is going up and up. Housing prices are skyrocketing, sales, property, and gas taxes are high. It's getting so very crowded with hardly any infrastructure to support it. We have ONE east west freeway (I-90) and an incomplete north/south freeway that has been under construction for 20 years and planned for over 40. To get 10 miles to the North of us, it takes 45 mins. It's ridiculous. The city planners never thought "growth" of the city through at all. Both of the kids like it here, but I don't have any clue if they will want to live here once they are out of the military. My main preference in retirement is to be near them and any grandchildren I may have. LOL Our other real option, if things fall in to place, would be my Mom's home in San Diego. We could retire there. Obviously the weather is great. We would have all the necessary medical options, a major Airport etc... but again, the cost of living is high and I just don't know if dh could handle how crowded it is. Just driving down a residential street is claustrophobic with all the cars that are parked on the street and traffic can be horrible. I also can't see my kids ever wanting to move there, so I wouldn't get to see them often and I'm not sure I'm willing to live away from them another 20 years or however long I last once we retire. LOL So many things to consider and so much change that can happen in 10 years. I mean who thought things would change like they have this past almost 2 years? Should we go through this crap again, I want to be in my kids "bubble". I don't want to not see them for months and months due to another stupid pandemic and being afraid to get on an airplane to go see them.
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Post by marysue63 on Oct 22, 2021 19:51:20 GMT
I second (or third?) the advice to go visit. I live in the PNW and love it and know I won't leave, but not everyone can handle the dreary weather we have in the winter. It doesn't bother me but I've heard people say that it's the one thing they struggle with the most.
I will also reiterate that living in the PNW doesn't necessarily mean a high cost of living. There are plenty of smaller towns around that are affordable, yet close enough to big city activities and major airports.
Good luck!
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 22, 2021 19:55:13 GMT
I think DH and I will stay put.. it looks like our kids will never move from the state at this point. If there are grandkids in the future that would seal the deal. The only place we would move to is the Midwest (my bff and family are there) but I don't like the humidity at all or heat. Colorado is just about perfect except the expenses. We are used to it so I guess we will deal with it. Who knows what the next 10 years will bring.
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Post by Linda on Oct 22, 2021 19:55:42 GMT
my oldest is lobbying hard for us to retire to his area. He's already convinced D21 to move there and he's working on DD15...he loves where he's at and would love if all his people were there as well. It does seem to tick many of our boxes so maybe? The biggest issue is cost of housing but maybe DH will be ready to downsize by then?
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Post by librarylady on Oct 22, 2021 21:34:31 GMT
..so many variables, I think what ever you decide to do, try to have your housing paid for by the time you retire. We have seen how having our home paid for gives us some flexible money each month (to be saved for trips). Secondly, stay near good medical care. It seems that once you reach retirement age, one's body starts to fall apart. DH had no real problems until he retired....since then he has had prostate cancer and heart stents, as well as some "regular upkeep."
Don't discount the joy of having friends around and know that you will have to find new friendships in the new location.
I would advise against the motor home, unless you get a small sized one. My sister had the huge size (like a bus) and the gasoline was so expensive they only took 2 significant trips in the 15-20 years she owned it. Jimmy Kimmel recently bought one and even he was complaining about how expensive it was to fill the gas tank.
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 22, 2021 21:40:26 GMT
Jimmy Kimmel recently bought one and even he was complaining about how expensive it was to fill the gas tank. My husband drives an 18 wheeler... $350+ to fill it up and normally it's not on empty.
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Post by Merge on Oct 22, 2021 21:58:22 GMT
Honestly I’ve had to exclude political considerations from this choice. Houston is home and we love the big city amenities and Houston’s, um, unique flair. We’ll almost certainly be here for at least part of the year in retirement.
But we do hope to spend the summers someplace less hot and humid. Don’t know yet for sure where that will be.
I would not live in the Midwest again because I grew up there and don’t enjoy the homogenous culture.
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Post by epeanymous on Oct 22, 2021 22:12:49 GMT
I want to be near my kids. I can’t possibly know where that is going to be, and there are six of them, but my plan is to retire near whatever critical mass I can get. I assume that will either be the west coast or the northeast, but we’ll see.
The PNW is great! And I agree with others that there are some more affordable places to live.
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Post by Patter on Oct 22, 2021 22:31:02 GMT
When we moved where we are now 9 years ago, I knew immediately this is where we would stay forever. It felt like home the moment we moved in. LOVE it here, and we have even purchased our burial plots. Yep, I told the hubby we were here to stay. LOL! The kids want to stay near too (they are each 1 hr. 15 minutes from us). But I have also lived all over the U.S. (CA, NV, AZ, NM, OK, TX, AL, FL, OH, SC, and NC) and in Europe. I knew what other places were like, and this was by far the best!!!
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Post by auntkelly on Oct 22, 2021 22:31:14 GMT
We had been living in The Woodlands (a suburb of Houston) for ten years when my husband and I retired a few years ago.
The Woodlands was a planned community which was built in the late 70s and in many ways it was an ideal community. (Low cost of living, great shopping and restaurants, great medical care, proximity to Houston, etc.) However, most of our friends and family were in Oklahoma, so we decided to move back to Oklahoma for retirement. We've been back in Oklahoma for four years, and we haven't regretted our decision at all. We love being close to family and friends. Also, the cost of living is low and we have access to excellent medical care. We also love having four seasons. Since the cost of living is low, we get to travel a lot.
Our son will probably always live close by, but I think our daughter will probably stay in North Carolina, where she currently lives. My plan is to get a small condo in NC at some point, but that will be sometime in the future.
Everyone's circumstances are completely different, but the one piece of advice I would have is not to move to be near your children until they are well settled in an area. I would hate to move to be close to my kids, only to have them move far away a few years later. On the other hand, I wouldn't want my kids to feel they couldn't take advantage of an opportunity because it would mean moving away from me after I had uprooted my life.
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Post by Restless Spirit on Oct 23, 2021 0:39:53 GMT
We lived in TX for 10 years before DH retired. We returned to Indiana our home state to be near our only child, her DH and our only grandchild. I’ve been the childcare provider for my grandson while his parents worked since he was 3 yrs old. He’s now 14 going on 15 and I still take him to school and pick him up every day and take him to baseball and hockey practice or wherever he needs to go as needed. Tomorrow we are suit shopping for a winter dance he is going to.
Being near my DD and grandson is imperative. Nonnegotiable. When the grandson is off to college, maybe then we’ll move if we’re not too old. I really don’t like living in Trump land. In fact, I find it very distasteful. But the relationship I have with my DD, SIL and especially our grandson - as they say - it’s priceless.
Be reasonable and rational, but follow your heart.
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Post by papersilly on Oct 23, 2021 1:01:01 GMT
We will move out of state when we retire. We live in a high cost of living area now so many options will be cheaper than where we are now. We will get a great price for our home so that's good to know. We will stay on the west coast. We will not have Southern California weather all year long and I'm very ok with that. It will be nice to have seasons.
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Oct 23, 2021 1:48:06 GMT
For our initial retirement we won't do anything permanent - we will be doing longer term rentals in different places and traveling by camper. But there are lot of variables - our parents and their health, our daughter and where she ends up, health care .... so who knows. But we do still plan on being mobile. An advantage is we don't have to commit to any place at first - it's very different to travel some place versus live there or live some place year round (and of course factoring in cost, etc).
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