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Post by playingcinderella on Nov 5, 2021 3:52:12 GMT
This is me too. I have a great story about a teacher in the same field as me who I have "met" at least a dozen times, taught in the same district as him (for a year), attended his workshop and he introduces himself to me each time as if it is brand new.
Its not just him either.
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scrappinspidey2
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Nov 5, 2021 4:57:38 GMT
In conjunction with my kids or my late husband people remember me. Oh your sos and sos mom…so and sos wife. But on my own? Nope. Not a blip on the radar. Most of the time I’m more than okay with it. I’m an introvert. But sometimes it bothers me. Not sure there is a solution. I’m sure that someone in my circle feels the same and thinks they are forgettable in my world. I would hope not.
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muggins
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Post by muggins on Nov 5, 2021 6:51:00 GMT
This is me too. I have a great story about a teacher in the same field as me who I have "met" at least a dozen times, taught in the same district as him (for a year), attended his workshop and he introduces himself to me each time as if it is brand new. Its not just him either. The husband of an acquaintance introduces himself and asks my name every time we meet. After the third time I just make up a different name every time. If he can’t be bothered to remember me, then I can’t be bothered to tell him my real name.
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Post by peasapie on Nov 5, 2021 7:01:53 GMT
I'd have to say no, unless I want to be. The joy of being a middle aged woman is that you can absolutely blend into the background in any situation if you like. Glasses, hair back, no makeup, I could probably murder someone in the street and no one would remember seeing me. Glam on, it's a different story. Also I kind of have a bold personality when I feel like it so that also makes me memorable if I want to be remembered. I think a lot of it comes down to superficial appearances, honestly. You remember people who stand out in the crowd for whatever reason. I agree with this. I frequently remember people who have physical characteristics that stand out: height, hair color, attire, etc. If they have outgoing personalities, I also remember them.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Nov 5, 2021 7:56:41 GMT
I have a smile people remember. I can’t help it, if I am interacting with people, I’m almost always smiling. My mom was the same way, although she had true charisma, and people just flocked around her. I’m actually very introverted, so all that smiling to put people at ease is tiring, and I can’t wait to be by myself.
They don’t always remember my name, but they remember my smile.
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J u l e e
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Post by J u l e e on Nov 5, 2021 11:02:28 GMT
People always tell me I look like their cousin or second-grade teacher or long lost friend from kindergarten. It's a little weird. I have always thought I'm the most average person in America -- mostly Irish, a hit of Swedish, a little taller than average. I'm not sure what it is, but I wish I could monetize it. Then we must be twins because apparently I look like just about everyone. I have heard that more times than I can count. “Has anyone told you you look just like so and so?” and “you look exactly like someone else I know” etc.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 5, 2021 13:01:51 GMT
This is me too. I have a great story about a teacher in the same field as me who I have "met" at least a dozen times, taught in the same district as him (for a year), attended his workshop and he introduces himself to me each time as if it is brand new. Its not just him either. The husband of an acquaintance introduces himself and asks my name every time we meet. After the third time I just make up a different name every time. If he can’t be bothered to remember me, then I can’t be bothered to tell him my real name. That’s really funny!
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AmeliaBloomer
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Nov 5, 2021 13:12:38 GMT
I’ve been on both sides of the situation. On the giving end, I have moderate face blindness. The fear of not recognizing somebody who expects it - and the embarrassment when I’ve mis-recognized someone who would never expect it - are real.
So sometimes it has more to do with the other person than you, if that makes sense.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Nov 5, 2021 14:47:21 GMT
I think it's likely more about others being forgetful or unobservant vs. you being forgettable. I forget not just names, but faces, too. I've introduced myself to people who have been to the same events as me, more than once. I feel awful every time I do it, b/c it seems so rude to have had conversations with people, see them again a few weeks later, and not at LEAST recognize their faces, if not their names. And I'm generally an unobservant person in general. Once, I noticed my dad had shaved his mustache and I commented on it, and he said he'd shaved it months ago. My dad lives a mile away, and I see him at least once a week, often more.
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keithurbanlovinpea
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Nov 5, 2021 15:08:16 GMT
I don't know if I am forgettable nor do I care. If it is something you are curious about, then dig in from that standpoint. But don't make it mean something ABOUT you. Life is too short to be worried about what other people are thinking if in the end it doesn't impact your ability to lead a fulfilling life
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luckyjune
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Post by luckyjune on Nov 5, 2021 15:38:33 GMT
Thanks, everyone, for your perspectives. Like everything, I go through phases where this forgettable thing bugs me more than other times. I guess this is one of them! I appreciate the advice and examples from your own lives and feel better knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way at times.
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luckyjune
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Post by luckyjune on Nov 5, 2021 15:39:33 GMT
Yes, I have definitely felt as though I am forgettable at times. It used to bug the crap out of me that people would always remember one of my best friends, but seemed not to remember me, even if we met them at the same time. She is an extrovert and loves to be besties with every person she meets, whereas I am much more reserved, and tend to sit back for a while observing before deciding whether a person is someone I want to be friends with. Ah yes, I can see that you would be memorable, if your hair is half as lovely as it looks in your cartoon avatar! ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) It makes sense that if someone has an outstanding attribute, such as their height or their brightly coloured glasses or their curly red hair, they are more likely to be remembered. Whereas average people like me are forgotten immediately haha! I don’t see you, and several other peas who have their photo in their avatar, to be forgettable at all. I think in general that people just don’t pay as much attention as they should. And luckyjune , on this board (and IG) you’re definitely not forgettable! I have to say that having a noticeable physical attribute is not all sunshine and roses 😏 My sister and I resembled each other enough that I often got mistaken for her (she was 3 years older) until she passed. Imagine: two little curly haired, red headed, freckle faced girls, and then as adults. Sometimes it would have been nice to have flown under the radar a bit! It’s always been a little weird to have people comment on it and ask to touch it. Thank you, sweet friend!
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Post by creativegirl on Nov 5, 2021 16:21:30 GMT
No, but I think it's just because 95% of the time I'm the tallest woman in the room. It's definitely nothing special about my personality because I'm pretty quiet and introverted!
I also think this might be a perception thing. You're tuned in to it so you notice it more. Like I said, I'm pretty certain I'm not forgettable because people I haven't seen in 15 years will pick me out of a crowd. That being said, there's still times people have forgotten me! I can think of one person in particular who has introduced himself to me probably 10 times in the years we've worked in the same circle. I think he just thinks of me as "staff" and doesn't bother to remember.
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Post by scrapcat on Nov 5, 2021 16:45:41 GMT
I get what you are saying and as an introvert in social situations can relate. However, I find that I am noticing more and more that people seem so distracted. A lot of times by their phones, but maybe also by their "busyness." I think I am like that at times too, but I tend to be more observant and thoughtful than others I interact with. But again, it's all perspective. I know that in certain social situations I probably come off as standoffish, almost snobby or ignorant, but it's because I am so introverted. It's hard and you def can't please everyone!
My SO is more social and people always know him and talk to him. Which is nice because I feel like I just sort of blend in with him sometimes. And I am happy to let him do the talking.
I can see being a little bothered tho by the same people continually not remembering you. That starts to seem a bit insulting. But def says more about them than you.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Nov 5, 2021 16:53:39 GMT
People always tell me I look like their cousin or second-grade teacher or long lost friend from kindergarten. It's a little weird. I have "one of those faces". I get the 'are you so and so' or 'did you used to work at that place' or teach, etc questions all the time. I don't know what it is about me. I think I'm pretty average. My hair is curly but not an unusual color...
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Post by voltagain on Nov 5, 2021 17:18:30 GMT
I am the one who forgets. I am face blind to a large extent and have a horrible memory for names. I even didn't always recognize my husband after 16 years of marriage. Adults I almost never recognize if they are "out of place" , like running into a work colleague out for dinner in the evening. People I meet at a convention I will not be able to recall their name even if I do manage to remember their face (more likely I remembered your voice, blouse or hairstyle) . I am not trying to be rude. Recall is simply not there. Oddly, I will remember your child or your pet.
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Post by Ryann on Nov 5, 2021 19:22:56 GMT
I'd have to say no, unless I want to be. The joy of being a middle aged woman is that you can absolutely blend into the background in any situation if you like. Glasses, hair back, no makeup, I could probably murder someone in the street and no one would remember seeing me. Glam on, it's a different story. Also I kind of have a bold personality when I feel like it so that also makes me memorable if I want to be remembered. I think a lot of it comes down to superficial appearances, honestly. You remember people who stand out in the crowd for whatever reason.I agree with what Zee has posted (I bolded). I also think some people just don't remember names/faces. I am horrible with names. If I'm introduced to someone and told a name and you asked me 5 seconds later what their name is, I wouldn't know it. I have always had this disconnect. I also always say left when I mean right. Happens every single time. I have a few other random mis-wirings in my brain. ETA: I am not a forgetful person and I am very detail oriented/observant. It's never made sense to me why remembering new names is so difficult. My long term memory has always been horrible, though.
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Post by needmysanity on Nov 5, 2021 19:41:33 GMT
I feel I am forgettable mostly because I'm just normal looking. Nothing (in my opinion) sets me apart if that makes sense.
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maryannscraps
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Post by maryannscraps on Nov 5, 2021 19:44:38 GMT
I’ve been on both sides of the situation. On the giving end, I have moderate face blindness. The fear of not recognizing somebody who expects it - and the embarrassment when I’ve mis-recognized someone who would never expect it - are real. So sometimes it has more to do with the other person than you, if that makes sense. OMG -- me too. I just can't recognize people and it's horribly embarrassing for me. I wish people would always introduce themselves to me, because I'll remember a name if you say it. Put your hair up, and I have absolutely no idea who you are.
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AmeliaBloomer
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Nov 6, 2021 1:03:09 GMT
I’ve been on both sides of the situation. On the giving end, I have moderate face blindness. The fear of not recognizing somebody who expects it - and the embarrassment when I’ve mis-recognized someone who would never expect it - are real. So sometimes it has more to do with the other person than you, if that makes sense. OMG -- me too. I just can't recognize people and it's horribly embarrassing for me. I wish people would always introduce themselves to me, because I'll remember a name if you say it. Put your hair up, and I have absolutely no idea who you are.Sing it, sister. Put your hair up, dye it, cut bangs, get contacts, lose weight. I rely so much more on hair, clothes, body, stance, walk than face. With actors, it’s always the voice cause they change appearance so easily for roles. (My family always knows to say, “Um, you do know that’s Tom Hanks, right?”) It’s always rather reassuring to know there are others like me with … well, drat, I have to look it up again …prosopagnosia.
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SabrinaP
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Post by SabrinaP on Nov 6, 2021 1:27:22 GMT
I definitely fade into the background. I’ve been teaching in my district for 18 years at 3 different schools. I give a lot of PD trainings in the district. I get a lot of people that give me a second glance like they are trying to place me or flat out ask don’t I know you. The latest one was at jury duty this summer. The lady behind me said you look so familiar. After going through a few things she realized her grandson had me a few years earlier.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Nov 6, 2021 21:24:52 GMT
Also, seeing someone out of context can stymie me. I saw a guy from work at a local store and he started talking to me. It took me until he was walking away before I realized he wasn’t just a friendly stranger.
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AgnesDeux
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Post by AgnesDeux on Nov 6, 2021 22:29:57 GMT
Yep. Totally. Is it annoying? ABSOLUTELY. I am finally at the point where if people don't remember me, I don't bother reintroducing myself because I figure I don't want to know them if they can't even take the time to remember who I am. Perhaps that is rude, but so is not bothering to remembering talking to someone else. ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png)
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