My 14 year old might be bisexual. Questions...

Give yourself some time to process.

Also, I don’t think it’s “trendy” or “popular.” It’s just not a big deal to their generation.

You will be ok. But this is something it sounds like you didn’t expect, so as Gennifer says, give yourself time to process it. My DS is bisexual, and it surprised me how taken aback I was when I found out - much more than I was when my DD told me she was gay. At the end of the day, I spend less than 10 seconds a year considering my children's sex lives, so the gender of who they’re having it with doesn’t actually matter to me at all. 

ETA I fully agree that thinking it is 'trendy' is very condescending and dismissive. 

My DD told me she was gay a few years ago. Since she was only nine, I told her okay no big deal. Do you want to discuss it or just leave it be for now. We left it alone and it's been brought up again here and there. I had the same original thoughts about it being trendy and all that. Or how do you know? Things like that. I didn't say that to DD at all. I am just rolling with it.. it's not an issue. I needed time to process and my first thoughts I didn't want her to think that anything was wrong with her (and there is not).. it was just something I (we, dh and I) have never really dealt with... I have always had gay friends here and there and it's never been a big deal.. so this isn't a big deal... I just needed to process it.

Edited:
I think my first initial thoughts were how other people will treat her (and family members)...I didn't want her to be picked on.  She is very shy and her self esteem is not always the greatest.  As far as family goes, most everyone has been great.  Friends I am not so sure.  I think it's been fine but some of them have been raised conservative like us and in the Bible says being gay is a sin.  It's what we learned.  I have learned that that is not up to me and between God and her.. I am not to judge and neither is anyone else.  So that is where we are at.. having to discuss this with friends to tell them not to throw that in her face.. we are to support her if needed and keep your opinions to yourself if you can't talk about it in a positive way. 

I think what has surprised me most that she is questioning that there isn't a God.  For me, I am struggling with that. Keeping it positive but internally it's something that shocked me.  I am a true believer there is a God.  So yeah.....  

What a beautiful response.  I agree but wouldn't have been so eloquent.  xo

Your ds is discovering who he is. Your job is to help him love himself and honor his authentic self. Gay/straight/bi/trans? All normal and natural. Recognize that your son is a beautiful human who is capable of great love and a great life. He's self aware and you'll want to do everything you can to support that.

These things do take you aback at first. I think out of fear for your child's treatment by others for the most part. I remember thinking is wish it was different, a easier life for them. Then I corrected myself thinking yes, it should be easier but not by them changing but by the attitudes of those around them and out in the world.

Earlier in in my elest's ongoing journey, I was talking to them over the phone and their voice sounded so much younger that day for some reason. The child of the past, now an adult out on their own. And as silly as it may sound, and although I've had the same thought multiple times before it really hit me that day, that nothing had really changed. It REALLY hit me.

This person was the same I raised, had a lot of adventures, laughs and giggles. It was them. It was always them. Defining themself, for lack a a better word, changed nothing really. They are the same compassionate, bright, smarter than their mom, kind person they always were.

I knew that, but something about that phone call, maybe because not in person it was so much clearer and easy to see. Weird seeing clearer often doesn't involve eyes.

Just love them.

I have 4 children, two of them are gay. I did have moments where I was a bit, I don't even know the right word. Not really sad, but sort of if that makes sense. I worried about how things in their life might be more difficult because even though attitudes have changed, not everyone's has. The first time my daughter and her girlfriend went out in public to a professional baseball game, I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't stop envisioning some drunk a$$hole guys harassing them, or worse. My son is recently married to a guy who likes to dress in women's clothing. He has made it quite clear he is not transgendered, he just likes to wear women's clothes, shoes and jewelry. And he loves purses. I do worry about them, but not as much as I used to. I love that my son is so accepting and loving with him, but it's hard to not worry about the shIt they may encounter out in the world.

All that to say I think it is completely normal for you to have a hard time dealing with this news, as long as you keep it to yourself and show your daughter nothing but love and support. Which it sounds like you are.

Just T yep, when you boil it down, the worry tends to be of others' perceptions and possible unkindness.
Which is kind of (ok very) sad for the state of the world.

Seriously, if you can picture true acceptance by (all) others, the fears... Poof!

Gosh I dont know how to put this. I sure hope I’m not offending anyone but I’m struggling for the right words to say.

Being bisexual isn’t a ‘trendy’ thing and just because they’ve liked opposite gender people in the past ( and might in the future ) doesn’t make them any less bisexual. It just means that they are open to loving people without basing that on a gender. This is just the point they are at now with whom they care for.

I don’t recall what previous ‘trouble’ your 14 yo has gone thru, I’ll be the first to admit the teen years were rocky as hell for me with my kids, so I’m not trying to be judge mental. But, I’m having a difficulty with a teen being bisexual being implied as a problem as in the OP. I suggest to try choose words more carefully since you have people you know here? ( not trying to be mean really not sure how to word that )

However, I’m right there with you about seeing your child enter a toxic relationship & that being a huge problem. That is not easy to watch. At 14 you do have some say in where your child goes & what they do but try to emphasize reasons other than sexuality or gender as to why your putting limits on what they do. Perhaps you’re actually more upset by the toxicity of the relationship than the anything else? So if you have need to discuss the relationship with your child try to focus your words on the toxic behaviors instead.

I hope you find good advice