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Post by padresfan619 on Feb 3, 2022 17:03:03 GMT
My parents were always late for everything, even getting me to school. I remember I was tardy so often one semester I had to sit at the “tardy table” at lunch and miss recess. I had to sit with other kids who were also tardy too many times and explain why I was late so often. I was 9 years old and mortified. It clearly made an impact because I’m almost 35 years old and still remember who else was at that table with me.
Now as an adult I’m chronically early to everything and sit in my car until it’s an acceptable time to go inside.
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oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,064
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
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Post by oh yvonne on Feb 3, 2022 17:16:14 GMT
Always early or on time, I also come from a family with an impatient dad who honks the car horn at you if you aren't in the car exactly at the designated time. I was taught 'iron your clothes the night before'..so you are never late for school or work or church as well. I like being the first one there to get the best seat/sit in front, relax, get a drink whatever. I hate hate hate that rushed panicked feeling.
My SIL and her daughters are chronically late to everything and it affects everything that they do. When the eldest daughter got married she was 3.5 hours late to her own wedding! They dilly dallied so long to get into the limo to ride to the wedding venue that they hit all the LA traffic. The wedding was supposed to be outside at like 5 pm I think it was. Because they were so late the wedding didn't start until dark and the venue had no outdoor lighting. No one could see anything, the only light we had was the light streaming from the windows of the reception hall there on the property. Thank goodness the reception was indoors, but the entire thing was a joke. So much money spent on this wedding and no pictures or anything of the actual ceremony. People were really crabby, too, we were literally starved for dinner. I don't think we even got to our sit down dinner till almost 9 pm. I had to have my DH leave and get our then toddler McDonald's because she'd already eaten all the snacks I'd packed in my diaper bag. A lot of people left in disgust.
You'd think they would have learned after this. But nope. The daughter's father died and the funeral was scheduled and the church was full of people waiting on them and they wouldn't get dressed for it to go. Especially my SIL who hadn't been married to him for years. We had gathered at the house first and were mortified to see they weren't showered yet and the funeral was about to start soon. We winded up leaving but they made that entire church full of people wait on them for like 2 hours. It was ridiculous.
They missed their flight for vacation and had to pay a boatload of money to reschedule the flights for like 10 people. We won't go on vacation with them for this reason. You wind up waiting on them for everything. Its stressful and upsetting.
I view it as their way of controlling the world around them. Funny that they never get that the world moves on without them.
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Post by MissBianca on Feb 3, 2022 18:21:39 GMT
I’m always late could never figure out why until about 10 years ago. My internal clock is set to 11 minutes after the hour, no lie I can randomly look at the time and it’s always 11 minutes after the hour. My kids old school started at 8:10, we were always late. Like coming in on 2 wheels late. Their new school started at 8:25, we were always on time. Because I could be ready to leave at 8:10 but not 8:00. I just adjust how things roll around here to accommodate my internal clock. Not to be snarky but I am not understanding this... I don't have an internal clock (Is this a thing?) My eyes are always on a clock so I know exactly what time it is. I really don't get this... lol I honestly have no idea if it’s a thing for anyone else. I guess it’s like when people naturally wake up around the same time every day without setting an alarm. I’m not a clock watcher by any means but I do have a rough daily schedule with kids and sports and work. But between 3 and 5 times a day I will just look at a clock to gauge time and it’s always 11 minutes after the hour. It’s bizarre and I never noticed it until after my kids switched schools. |
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,214 
Location: Alabama
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Post by janeinbama on Feb 3, 2022 18:27:34 GMT
I'm on time being 5 minutes early. DH is on time being 25 minutes early. After 41 years, I roll a bit better. Now I tell him what time an event is and ask him when he wants to leave, he will say XX and then 10 minutes before XX he asks me if I'm ready to leave....and I am  |
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Post by MissBianca on Feb 3, 2022 18:29:09 GMT
My parents were always late for everything, even getting me to school. I remember I was tardy so often one semester I had to sit at the “tardy table” at lunch and miss recess. I had to sit with other kids who were also tardy too many times and explain why I was late so often. I was 9 years old and mortified. It clearly made an impact because I’m almost 35 years old and still remember who else was at that table with me. Now as an adult I’m chronically early to everything and sit in my car until it’s an acceptable time to go inside. I do have when kids are punished over something they have no control over. We had a teacher complain about our tardiness once. My friend who lived across town broke her leg and her DH worked out of state. I would get my 4 ready for school then go to her house and get her 3 ready for school and drive them every day. The teacher pitched a fit about it and keep the kids in for recess. I’m like well since you are always early you can feel free to swing by either house and help and so could the para that lived 3 houses down from my friend. The principal finally had to intervene on behalf of the kids. She knew how bad the accident was. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
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Post by Just T on Feb 3, 2022 18:34:27 GMT
I used to have a friend who was late to everything, ALLLLLLLL the time, and it was so frustrating. I always thought it was very selfish to not care that you left people waiting all the time. And I'm not talking 5 or 10 minutes late. Often, she was an hour or more late. And in the days before cell phones, there were numerous times when we planned to meet somewhere, and I would just leave after an hour. Then, it never failed, she would call me and apologize for why she was late, but I should have waited because I knew she would be there eventually. One time, she showed up well over an hour late to my son's birthday party, came in and dropped her infant off so she could "run" to Toys R Us to get his gift! Toys R Us was about 30 minutes away. So by the time she got back, the party was over and everyone was gone. I thought that would bother her, but nope, she seemed happy that now she could visit with just us and no one else around.
Once we had cell phones, she would call to say she was running late (like I would be surprised by that! LOL), but she always underestimated just how late. I remember one time sitting in a restaurant waiting for her, and she called and said she was leaving home then, which was 15 minutes away. She got there more than an hour after that. She always had some dramatic excuse why she was late and would give a play by play day of every minute of her day leading up to why she was late. I rarely made plans with her because of this. She was selfish in other ways, too. And we are no longer friends.
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Post by lbp on Feb 3, 2022 21:08:36 GMT
Unless something drastic has happened, I am never late and usually early.
My SIL is chronically late! She would invite us for dinner and we would get there at the stated hour and she would not have even begun to start cooking! That would be fine if it were something like hot dogs or hamburgers or something that you don't start until the last minute but she would be like making a roast and just putting it in the oven! We quit accepting dinner with them.
If I am hosting a dinner, I will wait for 15 minutes and then the food is on the table. If you show up late, you can eat it cold.
I think people who are late to everything are incredibly selfish thinking only of their time and not someone else's time.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 3, 2022 23:36:27 GMT
This is my brother to a T. Even telling him an hour early doesn’t work so we stopped inviting him to things. The final straw was when we invited him to Thanksgiving dinner one year and he showed up and hour and a half late for dinner and then just thought he would get a plate of food to go. 🙄 😐 Do people like your brother never host things and recognise how frustratingly inconsiderate it is? I get the occasional mistake/hold up or whatever but for something like that I admit, I just don't understand. I guess they just inherently think their time is more important than anyone else's so they get ready/leave when they feel like it. Nope, he’s kind of a loner who never hosts anything. I always felt bad because he usually doesn’t have anywhere to go on holidays so he’d otherwise be home alone.  I doubt he thinks his time is more valuable. He’s just kind of scatterbrained and easily distracted, so by the time he gets his crap together he’s already a half hour late and he hasn’t even left the house yet. |
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Post by gar on Feb 4, 2022 0:09:35 GMT
Do people like your brother never host things and recognise how frustratingly inconsiderate it is? I get the occasional mistake/hold up or whatever but for something like that I admit, I just don't understand. I guess they just inherently think their time is more important than anyone else's so they get ready/leave when they feel like it. Nope, he’s kind of a loner who never hosts anything. I always felt bad because he usually doesn’t have anywhere to go on holidays so he’d otherwise be home alone. I doubt he thinks his time is more valuable. He’s just kind of scatterbrained and easily distracted, so by the time he gets his crap together he’s already a half hour late and he hasn’t even left the house yet. 😊 fair enough… maybe he’s typical of late people, I don’t know 🤷🏻♀️ |
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Post by katlady on Feb 4, 2022 0:58:17 GMT
Thinking out loud, I was wondering if maybe for some people, not all, being late has a little to do with being an introvert. They only want to socialize in small packets of time and they don’t want to make a lot of small talk. I prefer to arrive at a party or meeting when there are already people there, and I am an introvert. This is just a thought, not anything I tried to deeply research or anything. And I am only talking about people who are 1-5 minutes late, not an hour late.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,806
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Post by ellen on Feb 4, 2022 3:25:47 GMT
I am never late for things. I grew up in a household where my dad made us late for everything. I've been 15 minutes early for pretty much everything. I once had an unexpected issue come up and it caused me to walk in about one minute before something was supposed to start. And it was fine. Other people walked in at the same time and they were feeling no stress about it. I now realize that I can do things like vacuum before I leave for work or take the dogs for a quick walk and I can still get to work on time. I'm still never late, but 5 minutes before I have to be there has become an ok thing. My daughter has talked about how her husband and her in-laws are always rushing at the last minute to get places and she finds it stressful because we were never like that.
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Post by epeanymous on Feb 4, 2022 3:43:52 GMT
Always early or on time, I also come from a family with an impatient dad who honks the car horn at you if you aren't in the car exactly at the designated time. I was taught 'iron your clothes the night before'..so you are never late for school or work or church as well. I like being the first one there to get the best seat/sit in front, relax, get a drink whatever. I hate hate hate that rushed panicked feeling. My SIL and her daughters are chronically late to everything and it affects everything that they do. When the eldest daughter got married she was 3.5 hours late to her own wedding! They dilly dallied so long to get into the limo to ride to the wedding venue that they hit all the LA traffic. The wedding was supposed to be outside at like 5 pm I think it was. Because they were so late the wedding didn't start until dark and the venue had no outdoor lighting. No one could see anything, the only light we had was the light streaming from the windows of the reception hall there on the property. Thank goodness the reception was indoors, but the entire thing was a joke. So much money spent on this wedding and no pictures or anything of the actual ceremony. People were really crabby, too, we were literally starved for dinner. I don't think we even got to our sit down dinner till almost 9 pm. I had to have my DH leave and get our then toddler McDonald's because she'd already eaten all the snacks I'd packed in my diaper bag. A lot of people left in disgust. You'd think they would have learned after this. But nope. The daughter's father died and the funeral was scheduled and the church was full of people waiting on them and they wouldn't get dressed for it to go. Especially my SIL who hadn't been married to him for years. We had gathered at the house first and were mortified to see they weren't showered yet and the funeral was about to start soon. We winded up leaving but they made that entire church full of people wait on them for like 2 hours. It was ridiculous. They missed their flight for vacation and had to pay a boatload of money to reschedule the flights for like 10 people. We won't go on vacation with them for this reason. You wind up waiting on them for everything. Its stressful and upsetting. I view it as their way of controlling the world around them. Funny that they never get that the world moves on without them. My blood pressure spiked just reading that. I am sorry you’ve had to deal with it! For me, while I am on time, ten minutes late from a friend for drinks or dinner isn’t late yet. More than that, I would get annoyed. But I dropped a friend who was one of those chronically-an-hour-late-now-you-can’t-get-into-the-ballet people; I just could not anymore. |
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,616
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Feb 4, 2022 3:45:10 GMT
I'm just on time or 5 minutes early. DH would be really early, so would my mom. If it's an appointment and you're going to be waiting anyway why show up 20 minutes early?
My aunt and uncle were always so late, like an hour late and supper was on the table. That's rude.
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