peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Feb 21, 2022 22:15:20 GMT
I unfriend if I find the mere idea of you being my "friend" so noxious that I can't take it. If you're just a conservative Trumper, fine, I'll just unfollow you. I have a few people like that but they don't post that much and it's not so bad. But if you spout conspiracy theories about Sandy Hook - I don't want you in my friend list; I don't want you to think that I would ever associate with you in any manner so you're unfriended. Anyone who would believe that is rotten to their core and are GONE.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 21, 2022 22:22:23 GMT
I usually "Snooze" people instead of unfriend them. This means I don't see their posts for 30 days. It really helped when some of my friends were really going hard during the election. Then in 30 days I can see them again or decide to snooze or unfriend. I would be a lot more inclined to unfriend someone who was coming at my kids though.
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Post by andreasmom on Feb 21, 2022 22:24:41 GMT
I mute or unfollow more than I unfriend, because if I don't want to see someone's posts because they're being an asshole - they're also likely to be the kind to kick up drama if they notice you unfriended them. I am liberal in muting and unfollowing though. I don't want toxic crap in my feeds. This. I even muted my siblings once…
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 15:18:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2022 22:39:02 GMT
I unfriend immediately when they share something that doesn't align with my beliefs.
I mute, or unfollow when their posts irritate me.
I block when they have nothing worth my time and I am beyond irritated and their posts or comments steal my joy.
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Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,015
Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
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Post by Sarah*H on Feb 21, 2022 22:50:49 GMT
I rarely unfriend but I did end up unfriending some HS acquaintances because of their racist, xenophobic and hateful posts. I unfriended a friend when she suggested shooting Black Lives Matter protestors. I unfriended a couple peas because we’re not friends IRL and their online toxicity or inanity consistently irritated me. Otherwise, I usually unfollow.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,814
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Feb 21, 2022 22:52:25 GMT
I don't unfriend very often. The last person I unfriended was my old friend from HS. We were best friends, or so called BF, for years, since we were kids. As an adult, I finally realized that our friendship was not good for me at all, and I realized that it was always all about her. We drifted apart but I still didn't unfriend her on FB.
Then, during the 2020 election season, she was a total asshole to one of my adult children on FB, and I decided I was done. She is ultra conservative, and I have always known this. Even when I voted conservative/Republican, she still had ideas that were way beyond what I believed, but I never let it get to me. Then, in the fall of 2020, she commented on one of my kids FB posts--my son who is gay and is very liberal/hates Trump. I don't remember what his post was exactly, but her response was something like "Trump is the best president ever!" He responded with a list of very thought out reasons why he did not support Trump or any Republican. And she replied with "You are young and immature, of course you think that." (He was almost 30 at the time) He again responded in a very respectful, thought out way as to why he won't support or vote for Republicans. She kept dismissing him as young and dumb. Finally, she said "Someday, you will GROW UP and realize how wrong you are! You are uneducated, immature and don't know what you are talking about!" Man did that piss me off. He spent years in the military in a foreign country, he is in engineering school, and is a very smart person. That she could just continually put him down as dumb and immature made me so mad. He grew up with her always around. I would never in a million years dream of talking to one of her daughters the way she talked to him. And it's not like he picked a fight with HER...she came on his thread and picked a fight with him, and told him multiple times he is young and dumb and uneducated.
That was it for me. I unfriended her. Two days later, she sent me a friend request, which I have ignored. I really don't need people like that in my life.
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Post by slowrunner70 on Feb 21, 2022 23:29:46 GMT
The last five years have been really eye opening. "Unfriending" someone used to be something I never thought about. I figured if one of my social media or real life friends posted something I don't agree with, I will just scroll by and ignore it. This all started to change when a certain lying liar entered the political arena in the US. When the pandemic began, it got more serious. Anyone who still supports Trump and anyone he associates with, anything he stands for, is gone. If you're an anti-vaxxer, Covid-denier, anti-masker.... GOOD-BYE! You have just proven to me that you are a SHIT human being who doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone but themselves. You've been a family friend all my life? I've known you and your family for decades? You're a co-worker? We used to scrapbook together every weekend? You married my sister? We've been neighbors for 25 years? We went to school together? I'm as big of a fan of (insert band or TV show here) as you are? Let me spell it out for you: I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK
Get out of my life. Fuck you.
I'm over it. If you're so selfish that you're willing to endanger the lives of not only MY family and loved ones, but of ANY human being, then there is NO place for you in my life. You are a piece of garbage.
Not sorry
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,899
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
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Post by tracylynn on Feb 21, 2022 23:34:06 GMT
I have around 90 friends on FB. All I know in real life for the most part. If you annoy me, I unfriend you. If we don't interact, I unfriend you.
The only exception is family. I would probably be closer to 60 friends if I unfriended all my family that I wanted. But for those, I mute and unfollow. That way I don't have to have that conversation at a family gathering.
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Post by cropduster on Feb 22, 2022 0:20:43 GMT
I have been thinking seriously about going through my friend list and do some editing. People that are barely an acquaintance or those that I just get no joy seeing their posts, unfriend. But haven’t had the energy to sit and do that yet. I usually unfollow or put on snooze, depending on the relationship to me irl. In your case, I would definitely unfriend without a second thought. You pick on my kid, that is a deal breaker for me.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,305
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Feb 22, 2022 0:31:30 GMT
Adults leaving a petty comment about your child knowing you'd see? Yea first I would have left a comment so THEY would see it, then I'd happily unfriend and block their ass! I don't just unfriend. i block too. I post a lot of stuff publicly and I am not giving anyone the satisfaction of spying on me and still getting info. Bye bye now! I hate unfriending local moms/people because I know I will run into them at our kids' events but if I think about it for 0.8 seconds and it really doesn't bother me toooooo much, I just unfriend them. Life is too short to have fake friends on Fakebook.
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Post by fiddlesticks on Feb 22, 2022 0:40:58 GMT
I was in this exact situation a couple of years ago when dd left her dance studio. I struggled with how to handle it but ultimately decided to just unfollow them so I wouldn’t see their posts that would get me a free. I chose not to unfriend them me cause my train of thought was that would just give them a other thing to talk about in the studio. This way it seemed like we were taking the high road. If it helps every year a few more of the families see for themselves why we left and acknowledge that they now understand and usually say they wish they would have figured it out earlier. The dance studio “family” dynamic is so strong and something that people outside don’t get nor understand the feeling of….loneliness for the lack of better word…when you leave. Oh man. Your response hit me right in the feels. There is a strange toxicity to the “family” aspect of dance studios sometimes. I can tell I’m consciously protecting myself at the new studio. I’m taking my DD, doing the mom things I need to do like rhinestoning etc, but I’m not throwing myself all in. Just because my DD dances and has friends doesn’t obligate me to become friends with the moms. Friendly, yes…friends that buy matching shirts and go out on winery tours…no thanks. It wasn’t real because the moment they knew DD was leaving I was a person non grata.
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Post by fiddlesticks on Feb 22, 2022 0:44:20 GMT
Adults leaving a petty comment about your child knowing you'd see? Yea first I would have left a comment so THEY would see it, then I'd happily unfriend and block their ass! I don't just unfriend. i block too. I post a lot of stuff publicly and I am not giving anyone the satisfaction of spying on me and still getting info. Bye bye now! I hate unfriending local moms/people because I know I will run into them at our kids' events but if I think about it for 0.8 seconds and it really doesn't bother me toooooo much, I just unfriend them. Life is too short to have fake friends on Fakebook. That was my first reaction…to come back hard but I don’t want to feed the fire, so to speak.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Feb 22, 2022 0:52:27 GMT
I unfriend or unfollow all sales related posts.....all day-everyday (upwards of 100 posts a day from some of them). They are incessant and relentless.
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Post by melanell on Feb 22, 2022 1:10:20 GMT
I mute/snooze/unfollow pretty liberally. I unfriend far less often, but every so often someone is just asking to be unfriended, I swear.
In fact one person I unfriended used to actually say that in their posts "Unfriend me if you want, but everyone who does this or that or believes this or that is *$^ _)_*(%(%&&* @#$%#__" and so on. And one day I read it and thought "You know what? Yes---yes, I really do want to unfriend you.", and so I did.
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Post by Laurie on Feb 22, 2022 3:14:22 GMT
I was in this exact situation a couple of years ago when dd left her dance studio. I struggled with how to handle it but ultimately decided to just unfollow them so I wouldn’t see their posts that would get me a free. I chose not to unfriend them me cause my train of thought was that would just give them a other thing to talk about in the studio. This way it seemed like we were taking the high road. If it helps every year a few more of the families see for themselves why we left and acknowledge that they now understand and usually say they wish they would have figured it out earlier. The dance studio “family” dynamic is so strong and something that people outside don’t get nor understand the feeling of….loneliness for the lack of better word…when you leave. Oh man. Your response hit me right in the feels. There is a strange toxicity to the “family” aspect of dance studios sometimes. I can tell I’m consciously protecting myself at the new studio. I’m taking my DD, doing the mom things I need to do like rhinestoning etc, but I’m not throwing myself all in. Just because my DD dances and has friends doesn’t obligate me to become friends with the moms. Friendly, yes…friends that buy matching shirts and go out on winery tours…no thanks. It wasn’t real because the moment they knew DD was leaving I was a person non grata. Yes! When we left it all stopped. No one dared to associate with us once we were gone.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 22, 2022 3:22:36 GMT
I’m only friends with people on social media that I’m actual friends with in real life, and I have a pretty small circle. I have snoozed a couple people who have spouted off with some really stupid crap on occasion, but I haven’t had anyone do anything so egregious that unfriending would be necessary. If someone was posting veiled garbage about my kid though? Yeah, they would be GONE and blocked, right after I gave them a good smack down.
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Post by workingclassdog on Feb 22, 2022 14:43:28 GMT
Not to hijack.. but what about the (mostly) moms who you became friends with when you kiddo was in elementary and now that they are graduating and you no longer really speak to? It's moms who avoid me which I don't get, but literally I saw 3 or 4 moms at a welcome to high school function who didn't glance my way and they saw me. (to their credit I didn't say anything because I felt like they spotted me first and then it was weird.. but I could have said something, but I felt like they didn't want to talk..). It was SO weird. So do I unfriend them? It's happened at the grocery store too. I am pretty shy to begin with so this whole thing is awkward. I hate living in a small town sometimes.
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,279
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:46 GMT
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Post by iowgirl on Feb 22, 2022 15:06:20 GMT
I unfollow or mute for 30 days. It depends on the situation. Sometimes a Mute for 30 days will get past an event that has a person riled up. Or if it is a constant posting of stuff I don't care about, or am just too tired of seeing - I unfollow. That way you can always see what is going on with them, if you need to. And sometimes life situations change, and it is not always awful seeing what is happening with them. I very rarely unfriend. If I want to make that statement of "NO MORE OF YOU IN MY LIFE" - that is an unfriend.
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Post by roxiemarie0524 on Feb 22, 2022 15:08:28 GMT
I don't hesitate to unfriend if I need to - If I am at a point that I no longer am interested in what they are saying for whatever reason, then there is a good chance that I'm not getting anything positive from the relationship. I don't mess with unfollow - I just unfriend. I don't spend the time worrying if my Sister in Law's cousin or the 20th member of a 30 member mom group is offended that they have been unfriended.
My social media accounts are for me and what makes me happy. If I am not having positive interactions with a person then...bye, you are unfriended.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Feb 22, 2022 15:19:27 GMT
my DD's old dance studio friend's mom's the relationship is over, the girls don't talk to my DD at all I would have unfriended this person a while ago, personally. If there's no personal connection between you any longer- which you say- then why be social media 'friends' with them? I'm only friends with (mainly) my ACTUAL friends on Facebook. (The only exception to that was when I was trying to find a dog breeder- keeping up with the breeders on Facebook was the only way to find out when they had puppies coming.) But I am not "friends" with random people from high school, long-lost cousins, etc. If I wouldn't interact with the person in REAL life, then I don't spend time interacting with then online. eta: I see that you mentioned more that it's about the dance studio 'family' type atmosphere, which does add a different dynamic to it. For me, it's more that as I've gotten older I don't care as much about what other random people think of me... I couldn't care less what someone might think about me if I unfriended them. Okay, maybe I might think 'boy, they *really* don't have much in their life to worry about, if me unfriending them on Facebook is that important to them' I guess. lol.
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Post by disneypal on Feb 22, 2022 15:21:21 GMT
So, when do you "unfriend"? Social I have rarely felt the need to unfriend someone. There are some people that I 'unfollowed' because I didn't especially like the topics they post about or they feel the need to post every single meme in the entire universe and flood my feed. I can only think of one person I 'unfriended' - he is a local singer and plays each week at a restaurant we frequent. I don't have problems with people that have different political views than I. I am just not really into politics much...however, his posts were downright mean and vicious and were ALL against anyone that wasn't Trump. His posts were very nasty and 90% of the time contained false information. I tried unfollowing but he would constantly post comments and turn everything into something political. I mean I could post a picture of my kitten and he'd say something like "Well..I hope you enjoy that cat before Biden has it killed" - just crap like that, so I unfriend him. I mean it wasn't like I knew him on a personal level anyway. If it is someone that you don't have a relationship with and they annoy you - then don't feel bad about unfriending them. You don't need negative people in your life (which includes social media).
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,147
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Feb 22, 2022 15:27:04 GMT
If they are people I knew a long time ago and I no longer see them I wil unfriend if they become obnoxious. If they post their vacation photos I enjoy looking at them or scroll by. I have a couple of rabid Trumpsters that I often run into at social events and those I unfollow.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Feb 22, 2022 17:26:11 GMT
I usually mute people first and then if they come back up in 30 days and they still annoy me, I unfriend or unfollow. However, if my child was still in activities with them, selfishly, I might make sure I can still get to any pictures or videos they post of my child.
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melissa
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,912
Jun 25, 2014 20:45:00 GMT
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Post by melissa on Feb 22, 2022 17:57:11 GMT
I sometimes unfriend but am more likely to make them an acquaintance or snooze them. If they bug me too often or have fallen too deep into something that is not evidence based medicine or Q-related (those things overlap), they are gone.
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Post by worldwanderer75 on Feb 22, 2022 18:17:02 GMT
I have gotten way more liberal in my unfriending since the 2016 election. You don't have to think like me but you do have to be respectful and critically think. I've always been way less likely to accept friend requests than my DH. He is friends with like cousins of his HS friends. I told him to just delete friend requests if he doesn't know the person. He didn't even realize he could do that. I unfriended someone who used my post about my mom's funeral to network with a friend who is a well known business owner. Like he didn't even say anything about my mom's death but started responding to this person's condolences and asking him if he was _____, the owner of ______ company. It was so tasteless that I unfriended him then and there. It was someone who had known my parents well and didn't even post on my thread except to harass this other friend. Don't do shitty things and I won't unfriend you.
In your situation OP, I would probably unfriend and not just unfollow/mute the person or group. Like you, I hate the double edged sword of social media. I have 3 teen aged daughters and it has made their lives very complicated. None of us needs to know what everyone we know is doing all the time.
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Post by katlaw on Feb 22, 2022 18:24:18 GMT
When my "friend" posted her husband's new golf cart with the Confederate flag painted on the top When my "friend" posted that transgender people are an abomination I have a friend I no longer follow because I do not agree with her politics but did not unfriend because I still want to interact with her.
I would have no guilt unfriending someone in the situation you describe.
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,791
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on Feb 22, 2022 19:20:11 GMT
I unfriend willy nilly. FB is my friendly place, where I only want to see funny and happy things. Talk politics in a mean way and you're out of there. I mostly keep in touch with friends from long ago and my far flung relatives who live all over the country. I really like pictures of babies and pets best.
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Post by tenacious on Feb 22, 2022 19:31:49 GMT
I unfriended my own boyfriend 🤷. We have different political views and he is constantly posting political stuff. Instead of arguing & getting mad I just unfriended him. It's so much better. I unfriend a lot of people. It's supposed to be my fun place. Based. LOL! I hide/mute a lot. I am especially happy to do it if it is people who never interact with me, and just love to listen to themselves pontificate and spew extreme beliefs (on either side). I am on FB for relationships, not to be a receptacle for your narcissistic rantings.
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Post by pmm on Feb 22, 2022 23:16:28 GMT
I didn't read all the replies, but wanted to chime in. For the most part, I'm a big fan of "delete and block", I commonly use this with coworkers. This way, I don't have to have an awkward conversation about why I did what I did. I've gotten better over the years just not accepting the friend requests.
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