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Post by fiddlesticks on Feb 21, 2022 18:35:10 GMT
My DH and I were having a conversation last night about social media and when each of us "unfriend" someone. He is pretty liberal with his unfriending where I have a harder time doing it. The conversation started because my DD's old dance studio friend's mom's (yes, it is really that annoying) were posting some pictures from their competition this weekend. There were some passive aggressive things in each post and comments that were referring to my DD without naming her that they knew I would see. I was feeling irritated about it (you can come at me but leave my kid out of it) and my DH said "Just unfriend them and be done." It didn't even occur to me!! đ I don't want to be seen as petty or hairflipping but the relationship is over, the girls don't talk to my DD at all and DD is fine with it, and they clearly feel a way about it.
So, when do you "unfriend"? Social media is such a double edged sword. It gives an amazing opportunity to stay connected with old friends and relatives far and near but also gives just another way for people to be assholes.
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Post by busy on Feb 21, 2022 18:46:22 GMT
I mute or unfollow more than I unfriend, because if I don't want to see someone's posts because they're being an asshole - they're also likely to be the kind to kick up drama if they notice you unfriended them.
I am liberal in muting and unfollowing though. I don't want toxic crap in my feeds.
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Post by freecharlie on Feb 21, 2022 18:48:29 GMT
I mute or unfollow more than I unfriend, because if I don't want to see someone's posts because they're being an asshole - they're also likely to be the kind to kick up drama if they notice you unfriended them. I am liberal in muting and unfollowing though. I don't want toxic crap in my feeds. this is me too, especially with people I need to be around. I have ubfriended some who are just crazy trumpers and only post mrmes.
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Post by padresfan619 on Feb 21, 2022 18:48:48 GMT
If I see that it is their birthday and I have no desire to wish them a happy birthday I unfriend them. If itâs a person who it would cause drama that they were unfriended then I just unfollow them from my feed and check in every once in a while to toss them a like.
If someone was posting passive aggressive stuff about me or my family I wouldnât hesitate to remove them.
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Post by dewryce on Feb 21, 2022 18:49:24 GMT
I wouldnât call that petty. Adults insulting your child? Hell no. Iâd have no issue unfriending in that case. I no longer have SM that I post to, so I donât understand the difference between us friend and unfollow.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,370
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Feb 21, 2022 18:50:27 GMT
If it's someone that's not a relative, I unfriend if they annoy me often, post mostly inflammatory/ignorant content etc.
Family, takes much more. If we are not and never been really close, I go with the above. But otherwise I stick with them unless they really piss me off. I unfriended a few a year or so about COVID/political comments and one insulting me and my sister about our beliefs.
In your case, I wouldn't hesitate to unfriend.
ETA some family really annoy me/piss me off on FB but we remain friends due to the relationship. I just unfollow them and never/rarely check their page. My dad for example. Sigh. I'd totally unfriend him but I know he would be devastated and he enjoys the pictures I post of us, dd and our dogs and other things.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Feb 21, 2022 18:52:29 GMT
if anyone passive aggressivly came after me or my kids, umm, unfriended. clearly we are NOT friends. make your snide comments to your bff over coffee or to your husband... not thinly veiled on social media. that is so not okay.
i have only unfriended one person, it was my cousin's wife, kept re-posting stuff against gay marriage, that a mother is a woman and a father is a man and that is what children need, etc, etc. i didn't say anything and then eventually commented that my kids go to school with kids that have two moms, two dads, even one that has 4 moms. i said they were lovely kids, been raised well by thoughtful and loving parents. maybe some things are none of our business. a same sex marriage doesn't invalidate anyone else's marriage.
no reply but if i recall correctly, kept tagging me in her anti-same-sex marriage propaganda. unfriended. i barely knew her anyway, i am not even close to that cousin (who is still fb friend with me).
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,171
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Feb 21, 2022 19:03:01 GMT
I unfriend like itâs going out of style. I donât bother with muting or unfollowing⊠My social media feed is for me, and, frankly, if I donât want to see what someone is sharing I probably donât want to share my life with them, either.
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Post by Merge on Feb 21, 2022 19:16:33 GMT
Facebook is my happy place. If youâre not making me happy with your posts - and TBH, that occasionally includes the people who interact a lot with your posts - you get unfollowed. If you persist in interacting on my posts in a way that makes me unhappy, you get unfriended. Basically if I would avoid you in real life, you donât need to be in my feed.
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Post by Zee on Feb 21, 2022 19:22:19 GMT
I hide/unfollow if unfriending would be too awkward. If I'm never going to see you again or you're particularly awful, you're unfriended.
In your scenario, I would absolutely unfriend that person.
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keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
Posts: 4,302
Jun 29, 2014 3:29:30 GMT
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Feb 21, 2022 19:24:39 GMT
I don't put enough stock into what I call general social media to care. I unfriend if I want to and I don't care if they notice. I also don't care of they unfriend me. Now I do hide/unfollow a lot of people like family. LOL
I do belong to some very close, focused private groups across social media where we are much more connected and what goes on is important enough to where we would not unfriend or drop out of the group. But also, they are groups where we have common ideals so less likely to be conflict
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Post by ~summer~ on Feb 21, 2022 19:25:22 GMT
Iâve unfriended people - always people either who I *used* to know but it was years ago (like in high school) or people I only knew through work. I unfriended them bc either they posted stupid things and talked like we were still in high school or they post semi right wing things. That being said I have a small friend list and I donât have many friends that post a lot.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,153
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Feb 21, 2022 19:29:44 GMT
I mute or unfollow more than I unfriend, because if I don't want to see someone's posts because they're being an asshole - they're also likely to be the kind to kick up drama if they notice you unfriended them. I am liberal in muting and unfollowing though. I don't want toxic crap in my feeds. This describes me as well.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,792
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Feb 21, 2022 19:36:04 GMT
Mine is mostly politics-related. I unfollowed or snoozed some long time friends who revealed their support of trump during the 2020 election. A couple I unfriended, another I unfollowed, and I regularlyâsnooze for 30 daysâ a few, including my neighbor who is a state representative, all over their political posts which did nothing but make me angry.
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Post by walkerdill on Feb 21, 2022 19:38:04 GMT
I unfriended my own boyfriend đ€·. We have different political views and he is constantly posting political stuff. Instead of arguing & getting mad I just unfriended him. It's so much better.
I unfriend a lot of people. It's supposed to be my fun place.
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Post by monklady123 on Feb 21, 2022 19:45:48 GMT
I've done a couple of major purges of my FB friends list over the past several years. The first big one was during President Obama's terms in office....those were mostly people who I'd added for games I no longer played. Their racism came flaming out when they had to look at a black man in the White House. Then came trump's term and I got rid of more, and they were usually people I knew in real life. Like one woman who I'd worked with years and years ago at the State Department -- we have kids the same age, we used to go out to lunch together, etc. But one day I posted something about how trump was embarrassing the United States overseas and she commented "but what about how Obama always embarrassed us, every day??" Click, gone. Then most recently I unfriended quite a few people from former churches, or who I met during chaplaincy training. These were all people who I never interacted with on FB so why keep them around? They clearly don't have any interest in me since they never commented or even liked anything I ever posted. And the feeling is mutual since I never reacted or replied to them. Mostly nice people but the only reason we'd friended each other in the first place was our church or hospital in common. I do have several people on ignore or unfollow or whatever the term is....the ones who I'm still friends with but whose posts I just don't want to see. These are people who are SO rabidly anti-trump that all they could post every. single. day. were posts about how awful everything was, links to more bad news, etc. I like these people, and I agree with them in their anti-trumpness, but I just couldn't bear seeing so much of it all day long.
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Post by chaosisapony on Feb 21, 2022 19:58:24 GMT
I use the "unfollow" option liberally. Usually I will only unfriend someone if it's a situation like yours, where there is really no personal relationship.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Feb 21, 2022 20:02:28 GMT
Iâm another that aggressively unfollows -some people just post too much and it annoys me. I do unfriend anyone whoâs posting bs - family included. I wouldnât hesitate to unfriend someone making bitchy comments about my kid.
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frankiegirl
Full Member
Posts: 183
Dec 22, 2020 12:42:01 GMT
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Post by frankiegirl on Feb 21, 2022 20:09:42 GMT
I cleaned house during Covid and after Jan. 6. Didn't realize how many friends were into conspiracy theories and racists. I unfriended family members as well. I learned that people truly believe that what they say on social media will not come back to haunt them. I mainly belong to Disney, baking, scrapbook, cricut, dog groups. They make me happy. I have no problem unfriending people. Usually makes me happier.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,082
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Feb 21, 2022 20:12:35 GMT
Someone being a jerk to my kid... boom click gone!!! No hesitation at all...
I go thru every few months and think if i saw you at the grocery store would i go up n say hi.. if i would physically turn away to avoid this person... then i unfriend..
I do have a couple cousins who i dearly love muted for 30 days because they are all a tiktoc kick... i enjoy tt but i don't need to see you repeat that stuff all day long on the main fb wall..
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Post by katlady on Feb 21, 2022 20:17:04 GMT
I mostly use IG and I will mute someone before I unfollow them. I have muted the stories of several people because all they do is post political stuff. That is not what I use IG for. Stories will tell you who viewed your post, so I donât want to give them more views. I did completely unfollow someone who became a women hater. He would post stuff like women only want your money, donât date someone who has kids, and the man has power over the woman. Yup, bye bye!
I have very few followers and follow very few people on Facebook. I use FB for groups and business stuff.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Feb 21, 2022 20:34:46 GMT
I use Fb to keep up with people. Iâm not using it to let everyone know how I feel about a topic. I can only remember unfriending one family member who had me blocked from seeing anything on her page. There was no point in being friends since we never interacted so I hit that button. She figured it out pronto. She called with some lame excuse about not knowing how the settings got messed up. I told her I wasnât born yesterday. She sent me a friend request, which I graciously accepted. If I could just cut her off I would, but DH insists on maintaining relations with his siblings.
Weâre going to visit next month and I dread the one day I'm going to waste visiting her.
ETA: I say unfriend/unfollow/mute to your heartâs content. But please donât send the condescending, pretentious post letting all your friends know youâre getting ready to âcullâ your friends list and people reading your post might be gone by tomorrow. Thatâs in the top 5 of douchiest Fb posts.
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Post by cakediva on Feb 21, 2022 20:40:25 GMT
I unfollow more than I unfriend.
It may be silly - but there have been one or two I've unfollowed that could make some well placed comments (unfounded but they are mean like that) about my business here and there in town so I have no desire to risk losing business over crap like that.
So I unfollow.
And lately because of the convoy, I'm seeing all the people I thought I knew posting all kinds of shit. So they are going on unfollow!
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Feb 21, 2022 20:44:58 GMT
There were some passive aggressive things in each post and comments that were referring to my DD without naming her that they knew I would see. Since this ^^^^^^ is what is happening then this would be my response as well: Someone being a jerk to my kid... boom click gone!!! No hesitation at all... I go thru every few months and think if i saw you at the grocery store would i go up n say hi.. if i would physically turn away to avoid this person... then i unfriend..
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Post by papersilly on Feb 21, 2022 20:54:16 GMT
i haven't unfriended that many people. i will usually mute.
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Post by mollycoddle on Feb 21, 2022 20:57:16 GMT
I mute or unfollow more than I unfriend, because if I don't want to see someone's posts because they're being an asshole - they're also likely to be the kind to kick up drama if they notice you unfriended them. I am liberal in muting and unfollowing though. I don't want toxic crap in my feeds. Same. Some people that I mute are relatives.
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on Feb 21, 2022 21:20:46 GMT
I unfollow more than I unfriend. But Iâm thinking I really just need to do a purge of people I donât even interact with, get my friend list down to a manageable level.
In your situation though, Iâd unfriend with no hesitation or regret.
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on Feb 21, 2022 21:23:56 GMT
I use Fb to keep up with people. Iâm not using it to let everyone know how I feel about a topic. I can only remember unfriending one family member who had me blocked from seeing anything on her page. There was no point in being friends since we never interacted so I hit that button. She figured it out pronto. She called with some lame excuse about not knowing how the settings got messed up. I told her I wasnât born yesterday. She sent me a friend request, which I graciously accepted. If I could just cut her off I would, but DH insists on maintaining relations with his siblings. Weâre going to visit next month and I dread the one day I'm going to waste visiting her. ETA: I say unfriend/unfollow/mute to your heartâs content. But please donât send the condescending, pretentious post letting all your friends know youâre getting ready to âcullâ your friends list and people reading your post might be gone by tomorrow. Thatâs in the top 5 of douchiest Fb posts. It sure is, I plan on culling mine quietly - but agreed it is obnoxiously douchey to announce it.
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Post by Laurie on Feb 21, 2022 21:32:01 GMT
I was in this exact situation a couple of years ago when dd left her dance studio. I struggled with how to handle it but ultimately decided to just unfollow them so I wouldnât see their posts that would get me a free. I chose not to unfriend them me cause my train of thought was that would just give them a other thing to talk about in the studio. This way it seemed like we were taking the high road.
If it helps every year a few more of the families see for themselves why we left and acknowledge that they now understand and usually say they wish they would have figured it out earlier. The dance studio âfamilyâ dynamic is so strong and something that people outside donât get nor understand the feeling ofâŠ.loneliness for the lack of better wordâŠwhen you leave.
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Post by shamrock on Feb 21, 2022 22:11:28 GMT
I tried muting or u following a few people and Facebook decided I needed to keep seeing their posts anyway. I unfriended them then. DH unfriends quickly and finally got so fed up with people & Facebook in general that he deleted his account. Iâm not quite at that point- feel like I still need it to follow kids school stuff and a few distant family members that I want to have a way to contact if needed. I sure spend less time on FB than I used to.
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