pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,189 
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Post by pilcas on Apr 4, 2022 16:08:30 GMT
It really is a great experience for them to live on their own. They will mature faster than if they were at home. It is normal to feel a bit sad but you will get used to it!
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Post by cindyupnorth on Apr 4, 2022 16:55:54 GMT
What is your relationship like with your dh? I would foster that more. This is one of the things I always recommend, date nights when your kids are growing up. Going out as a couple and having that alone time away from kids and home. It's also a good thing for your kids to see.
I was happy to see both my girls go off to college. Loved it, and looked forward to them making new friends, making their life.
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,121
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Post by teddyw on Apr 4, 2022 17:03:23 GMT
When my youngest left for college I knew it was coming but I was so lonely.
I never told her that though. I got a puppy.
I helped her get all the dorm stuff and sent Venmo $ periodically. I still text her the normal stuff we always send each other. Sometimes she responds sometimes not. I never make a big deal out of it.
She’s graduating this month and in the process of interviewing here but I suspect also in Michigan where her SO got a job.
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Post by maryland on Apr 4, 2022 17:10:47 GMT
That must be so hard thinking you had 2 more years and now she is going away this fall. It's great that you can come here for support so you are happy for your daughter when talking to her.
When my oldest started college I still had two kids at home. She was going to my alma mater 5 hrs. away. It's my favorite place, like home to me, so even though she was away, she was where I grew up. I was sad the night before move in. But when we got to campus, it was a beautiful day and I was so happy for her! She graduated almost 3 yrs. ago. Her last semester of college I would be so sad because I didn't want her to be done with college, her favorite place. I cried more at her college graduation than her high school graduation. It does go so fast!
At least 3 hrs. isn't bad, you can go out and join her for a few hours every month!
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Post by Darcy Collins on Apr 4, 2022 17:13:40 GMT
My oldest made it clear she planned to leave the state when she graduated as early as middle school. She just really wanted that residential college experience and the one in state school she would have considered is way too close to home. She a plane ride away now and it was definitely tough for those first few months. But if you're close, I expect she will continue to stay in close contact. My daughter texts and fts all the time - just still loves to share her day with me which is amazing!
In many ways it was tougher when my son graduated as he's never been the texting, calling type and so it's a whole lot harder not hearing from him regularly. But it was phenomenal when we got a chance to visit and saw how he'd matured and the friends he'd made.
Let her fly mama!
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Post by paulao on Apr 4, 2022 17:19:40 GMT
Let your child grow up.
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Post by tealpaperowl on Apr 4, 2022 18:05:31 GMT
I'm with you - I'm not sure how I'll do this. My DS is turning 20 this month and other DS 18 next month. Both plan to live home a few more years, at least.. but I know the looming doom is coming as oldest DS is a government employee and saving for a house. I don't even know what I'll do! Read this thread over and over  Big hugs! It's so hard to let them go! |
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Post by Zee on Apr 4, 2022 18:20:09 GMT
I lined my empty nest with baby animals 😁😁😁
Kittens and a puppy
We keep in touch via Snapchat, IG, Facebook, and texts. Mainly Snapchat. DD lives about 1500 miles away, 20+ hrs so 3 hrs in comparison is nothing. Where I grew up, Chicago was 3 hours away and we went all the time. Lots of family there. Very easy to get together on weekends or even a day trip.
DS recently moved back home but I'm ready for him to leave again when he's in a good place to do so. DH and I weren't sure how it would go for us once the kids left, but we've loved our empty nest filled with pets! We've actually gotten closer.
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 4, 2022 23:04:01 GMT
You manage it without including her. Yes, tell her you'll miss her, but also tell her you are so proud of her. It hurts a lot when the person you have raised and loved to pieces turns out to be incredibly awesome and wants/needs their independence. But that is the way it is supposed to be. Thankfully kids have phones to text and hopefully she'll keep in contact with you. My youngest graduated in 2015 and I still get funny texts and Snapchats from him every week. I never tell him I don't hear from him enough. I just let him take the lead and since we had such a great relationship, he's always wanted to stay in contact.
Just be supportive, be loving, and be the mom you have always been.
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None
Full Member
Posts: 453
Sept 17, 2017 13:10:30 GMT
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Post by None on Apr 4, 2022 23:22:56 GMT
We are super close with our daughter. She is an only. She went to college 5 hours away. I won't lie, i went through a serious depression. I went from being a mom 24/7. Taking care of her, feeding her, seeing her face every day to nothing for months at a time. It was hard on all of us, but I felt so empty that first year. Good luck to you.
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Post by merry27 on Apr 5, 2022 17:57:31 GMT
You all are the best. I love this board so much. Thank you so much for all the advice and suggestions. And for validating my feelings. It really helped me put things into perspective and for me to realize the way that I want to act moving forward. I am excited for her and will support her. I will just come back here to cry when the day comes- haha.
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Post by floridagirl on Apr 5, 2022 19:23:49 GMT
Hugs to you, Mama.  We only have one child, DD22 who went away to college 10 hours away. She and I are very close and it was hard, but not having time to prepare mentally would have been really, really hard. The only request that I made of her for contact was just one text a day so that we would know she was alive, lol. But she stayed in much better contact than that. My experience was that she still needed me, just in a different way now. Now I'm a sounding board as she navigates new experiences and we are just as close as ever. This is an amazing period in their lives and I found that focusing on all that was now opening up to her as possibilities made it easier for me. I also indulged myself by diving into all the hobbies that had been pushed aside for years. I also started a new job, and while the timing of that was just a coincidence, I think the fact that I was so occupied with my own stuff made the transition easier. Start thinking now of all the things you have more time for now. Good luck to you both!! This. 1000 times this. |
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