What would the peas do? Sister in law, sister flirts with DH

I’d let my husband know beforehand that if he doesn’t put a stop to it immediately I’d be making a big scene (and he knows I would!)

In the past when a woman has flirted with my husband, I’ve watched and laughed from a short distance away. He gets super uncomfortable!

I might also ask her whilst laughing if she’s auditioning for Sister Wives.

I don’t really understand the motivation to make a scene - you will be the only person who looks silly. Can you imagine being at an Easter party when one of the guests starts yelling at someone to stay away from her man? People will wonder if you’ve been drinking too much.

I agree with everyone else who says the bud has to be nipped at home. I would reiterate to my dh that her behavior makes you feel really uncomfortable and you’re asking him not to put you or him in that situation. There’s a couple of ways to do that - he can avoid her completely and specifically not allow himself to get caught by her. If he does, he should call to you immediately. Just a “hey, babe - come here!” And the two of you just stand there talking to her as a united front. Nothing confrontational, it’s just a social conversation with a married couple and an extended family member. And you don’t leave until she does.

But there’s no reason to ruin a party or relationships over something that should be handled so easily.

Agreed. Don't make it a bigger deal than it really is. I get that it makes you uncomfortable but treat her like an annoying midge but don't give her the power to make YOU look silly.
Your Dh needs to put a stop to it, not you.

I'd be tempted to walk over and tell dh he looks uncomfortable with all the flirting and looks like he needs an escape, then excuse yourself from her and take him along with you. 

Honestly, I would roll my eyes, laugh, and move on. Maybe you need to reflect on why it bothers you so much. Sorry you have to spend your birthday in an uncomfortable situation ,though.

I agree with this thought.  This is between you and your husband.  At a family holiday event is not the time to address this.  

If it bothered me that much, I'd tell DH we aren't going. If he gets upset, tell him you aren't up for watching him let this woman flirt with him the entire time. Then the ball is in his court. Either he misses the event or he puts a stop to the behavior. It really comes down to him since she clearly isn't going to stop.

Or, just a simple case of enjoying a little flattery knowing, in his mind, that it's harmless. I'm not saying it's right in regards to the OP but not everything is deep and troubling.

This is what I've been thinking while reading the comments. The only thing anyone would be & talking about and remembering is you making a scene over Floozy McFlirtface talking to your husband (aka her longtime family friend). You'll look jealous and insecure, and she'll play the wide-eyed innocent who was just talking to her friend.

I'm sorry that this is hurting you. I can see where he might really see it as no big deal. (He see's her once or twice a year, she flirts a little, like she has since they were kids, it's just their dynamic and in his eyes completely harmless.) The harm comes when you've told him it bothers you, and then it continues. I don't think he has to agree with how you see it, but he does need to respect the way it makes you feel. Ask him to take a second and think about if he would feel respected if he saw you & an old male friend in the same scenario time and again.


There's no reason for him to be cornered anywhere by her, he's letting that happen. She may be pushy and getting in his space, but he can easily step away and remove her hand when she puts it on him. I think it's completely reasonable to suggest he do something like that.

Remind him that it's not just Easter dinner at his brother's (from going to SIL's house and dealing with her sister, that's the relationship conclusion I drew. Sorry if that's wrong!), but it's also your birthday, and you're not going to spend it upset over something you've talked to him about.




This stance wouldn't work for me (but I respect the fact that different things work for different people/relationships). I just can't imagine being told or telling my husband that he either a behavior changes or a family event (or any event) is missed. That feels ways too parental to me.

Walk fight up to your DH, link your arm in his tightly. Sort of walk him away with sweet words..

My mother in law flirts with her husband’s sister’s husband and he flirts back and I think it’s cute it doesn’t seem to bother anyone good Lord they are human. It can be just fine as long as no one is getting hurt and it doesn’t cross the line. We don’t know what type of flirting is happening here it’s really hard to comment.

Good lord, I've never seen so many crazy answers to a question on here!! good grief.

Why does it bother you so much? I would just tell your dh to knock it off. He's obviously eating it up. It's on your dh to put a stop to it. not you, and not her.

This has been an interesting thread. 

I'll preface this by saying that I don't think I'd be bothered by the scenario in the OP (but it's not my situation, and if she has feelings about it her husband should respect that.)

I am a big fan of person space and don't like to be touched.  I'm uncomfortable when I meet a family member or friend of a friend and they're huggers, or someone touches me when they're talking.  I don't think that people are flirting or acting inappropriately though, and there is almost no circumstance that I would interrupt someone and ask or tell them to stop doing it.  I imagine it would embarrass the person, and I think it's rude.   (Most likely, I'm not standing or sitting close enough to someone for the random hand on the arm to be an issue.  It would seem weird for someone to take a step or really lean to do that. If it happens I squirm inwardly for a moment and life goes on.  It's not that deep.)

In the OP's situation, I think removing the woman's hand from his arm (if she is lingering there) is a tactful way for her husband to handle the situation, and point out he's not interested, without drawing attention and the OP isn't involved in it at all.

I remember years ago attending a family birthday party. It was for my aunt and I hadn’t seen some of my family members there for a long time and was going around catching up. I made my way to the kitchen to grab a beverage and my cousin’s husband was in there with other family members mind you. We were chatting away and my cousin marches in and since she did not see me walk in and I had my back to her she angrily asked her husband who he was talking to. I turned around and her face turned from anger to embarrassment immediately. If I did not run into her a few weeks before and she confided in me that she was having issues with jealousy and her husband, I would have thought she was a lunatic. As it was, I thought she and her husband needed couple’s therapy. So I guess my point of this post is that you are the one that is going to look like an ass at this get together if you start a confrontation. I would tell the husband to try not to let himself be cornered by this woman and to call you if she does and act like it’s not a big deal. This woman may thrive on drama, hence why she does this. Wish you the best and hope it goes well.