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Post by riversong1963 on May 16, 2022 1:45:35 GMT
I would stop attending. It would make me very uncomfortable, and I wouldn't be able to keep quiet about it. The negative atmosphere would be too much for me to tolerate, and I would have a terrible time. I wouldn't put myself through the aggravation and stress. I would definitely let the hostess know why I was leaving. It probably wouldn't make a difference to her, but it would to me.
I live in NYC. Where on the East Coast do you live? I'm always open to meeting new scrapping buddies.
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Post by myboysnme on May 16, 2022 2:07:01 GMT
I live in southeastern Virginia! But I love NYC!!!! Well who doesn't? |
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Post by travelscrapper2 on May 16, 2022 2:31:16 GMT
As a disabled scrapper (paraplegic) thank you for standing up. If I had been there and they started in on the disabled I would have gone off on them.
ETA - I host a monthly crop at our local library. We can only meet for four hours, but there is no charge for the room. Everyone brings snacks to share. We just scrap and chit chat. No drama.
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Post by grammadee on May 16, 2022 2:54:06 GMT
myboysnme, I agree with the others that you really need to find a way to crop without all the negative backdrop. If you can't wear noise cancelling headphones or be able to listen to music or podcasts you enjoy that drown out the chatter, I think you would be better finding a new venue. I know organizing is a pain, but if you are not worried about meals or other details, then hopefully you can find a seniors centre or other small meeting room that will accommodate you and a few friends at not too high a cost. Can you get a group together that takes turns booking the venue so you don't have to shoulder all the organizing?
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Post by myboysnme on May 16, 2022 12:30:42 GMT
My friend is totally agreeable to not go and finding another option for us. She said her husband told her about a possible option in a bookstore and I am going to check out the library.
If we limit it to just us and maybe 2 or 3 others we will be happier.
I love going to crop events to scrap but it seems more and more people who remain in the hobby go to socialize and they have run out of things to talk about. Seversl worked in schools and the horrid way they talk about students in special education makes me almost cry. Between that, old school practices toward the grandchildren they are caring for and their views on people of color it is overwhelmingly infuriating. And with my friend right there next to them, obviously invisible.
You ladies have made me clearly see by going I condone it. On Friday I said to them, "well now you know different so when you know better you do better" i will leave them woth that thought as my swan song.
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Post by disneypal on May 16, 2022 14:23:34 GMT
If you enjoy it, other than the conversation, I would continue to attend. As you said, it is really your main chance to scrapbook. It would be difficult for me not to speak up. I think you just have to do it the right way. Perhaps say something like..."instead of talking about what's going on in the world, let's lighten it up - tell me about what you are scrapping today...let's discuss the stories behind our pages"
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Post by scrappersue on May 16, 2022 15:38:45 GMT
I have a couple groups that I attend retreats with. One are all the same political minded as I am. We have open discussions, but if we had a new person we would not talk any politics until we knew if that person was comfortable (this has only happened once and the person ended up enjoying the same type of conversations we do). Now the other group who live local to me are split politically. We do not EVER talk about anything that might offend anyone. The closest we came to was that we had a member who wanted to room with someone who was vaccinated also. And the organizer was very discrete about finding a roommate for her. And then there are my 4 scrapping buddies who we do at least 2 retreats a year just with us. We are all over the political spectrum and we don't talk about any of it. We talk about scrapbooking and new supplies and new videos. But I do have a story for you. I ran into one of them in Costco at the time when you were "supposed" to mask at Costco, but some people were not. She did not have a mask on and I said "You're not wearing a mask?" - it just flew out of my mouth. She said "I only wear a mask when I am shopping with you because I know it is important to you"  |
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Post by scrapcat on May 16, 2022 16:02:49 GMT
I think it was good that you spoke up and I bet maybe something you said did stick with someone in the group. That said, since this is your hobby and supposed to be enjoyable, probably best to not attend.
I hear you on the whole situation with crops. I've had good ones I've gone too in the past, but stopped during pandemic, and not sure I will go back a lot. When I go to the Expo I listen to music on my headphones. Admittedly I'm sort of anti-social, but also I only have limited time to scrap, so when I am in the mode, I want to focus on that and not chit chat.
I think there are some "scrappers" who go more for the social aspect, which is fine, there's room for everyone. I am tiring of the whole "those who are now emboldened to speak their racist/bigoted/discriminating opinions...." but at the same time, at least we know who they are and can disassociate.
I have thought about hosting crops, trying to work with a community center or firehouse or something like that. I just don't have time to devote to it right now.
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istamp247
Junior Member
Posts: 98
Jan 24, 2020 14:57:14 GMT
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Post by istamp247 on May 16, 2022 16:22:41 GMT
This same basic thing recently happened with a group I had been scrapbooking with. We had a few new people join us and their conversation took a turn. I have not attended since it happened. I know at least two other's haven't been back as well. The three of us try to get together to scrapbook when we can.
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Post by workingclassdog on May 16, 2022 18:01:59 GMT
In all my years of hosting crops and attending them.. the worst thing was the "loud oversharer, wandering scrapper" She was loud, never stopped talking and would just wander around looking at our pages, which is fine, but to hover over someone for 10 minutes plus is weird. Otherwise we always had great participation. No politics, religion or anything like that. There once was a gal who I invited from here.. Or honestly she joined us after I sent out an invite. BIG MISTAKE.. she was nuts. Nuttier than a fruitcake. ferblover   I actually miss her so much!! |
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Post by wagleg on May 16, 2022 18:31:29 GMT
Some might see my position as a black and white one. It kind of is my line in the sand. I abhor racism in any form. I feel if
people are racist against blacks they are racist against anyone not like themselves. I feel if I stayed that I would be tacitly condoning there behavior.
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scrapnnana
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,459 
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Post by scrapnnana on May 16, 2022 18:35:42 GMT
I only went to a few crops that were sponsored by a consultant or by a store. I quit going because I always got stuck at a table where the other attendees made me feel like an outcast.
Before we moved, I used to crop with friends at our local library. I arranged it. The room was free, although I had to reserve it well in advance. It’s a great option, though, because you only invite people you know you enjoy.
The only other option I recommend is to get a good set of headphones so you can tune the other gals out, but it sounds like you are attending with a friend, so that only works well if you are attending solo.
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Post by Linda on May 16, 2022 18:57:04 GMT
She said "I only wear a mask when I am shopping with you because I know it is important to you" our local friends wear masks when they stop by but don't otherwise. We disagree on lots of things but I do appreciate that like your friend - they know it's important to me and so do so around me. myboysnme - I'm glad you and your friend are looking at other options - I hope you find a good spot and can scrap together often |
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Post by CardBoxer on May 16, 2022 19:14:59 GMT
I live in southeastern Virginia! But I love NYC!!!! Well who doesn't? I’m in northern Virginia, getting closer! I know it’s not the same, but some people virtually scrap/make cards together. Someone in the SCT even group on FB has weekly crops for participants, and the women who have done it have posted it was really enjoyable. I’m so easily distracted I’d get nothing done. Either that or I’m be so focused on my project with blinders on I wouldn’t be engaged with the group. |
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Post by lisacharlotte on May 16, 2022 20:18:26 GMT
I crop at our LSS either in the store or at venues where she hosts larger groups. I’ve never run into any conversation that is blatantly discriminatory. However, I would have no problem approaching the owner to let her know that was happening. If there was no change, I would no longer attend and let the owner know why. This hobby has contracted so much, she would not want to lose business. We’re talking 25-75 croppers, depending on venue, in a metro of just under 1M that skews blue in a very red state.
My group doesn’t talk much at crops, we’re doing our thing. I usually have to put in earbuds because I cannot stand the constant chatter. Mostly what I hear is bragging about how talented everyone’s children and grandchildren are. Occasionally my group snarks by text over the things we hear.
Crop two weeks ago the table next to us (4 women) spent the entire weekend bitching about their church and tearing down the leadership. They were all in some way working for the church. One of the ladies I crop with goes to that church. It was funny for us to listen to since they had no idea. I’ve heard people get into a pissing match about who had a worse bankruptcy, and comparing debt. I’ve seen husbands come in and start macking on their wives like nobody’s there. I’ve listened to two old ladies try to outdo each other with their travels and how financially successful their husbands are (including $ amounts). It’s been pretty innocuous at my crops.
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Post by infochick on May 16, 2022 22:37:03 GMT
I just went to my first post-pandemic crop recently and it was a wake up call just how strange people are--I think I always knew that scrapbookers could be a strange bunch (with the exception of the lovely 2 Peas Refugees), but after two years of scrapbooking alone or with one friend it was a huge reminder. The event was super loud, one lady watched a movie at top volume without headphones in, another at the next table over talked ad nauseam about how wealthy her family is, one lady went around and took any of the goodie bags that were left at empty spots--a strange group. At least it was all innocuous, and my friend and I were able to laugh about it. It would have been a whole different matter if the conversation turned discriminatory. My LSS has a small classroom space that they let people use, so my scrappy friend and I meet up there and crop for a day every once and awhile. I enjoy it more than the organized events because we're not annoying  I really hope you find a nice spot to scrapbook! |
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Post by riversong1963 on May 17, 2022 11:24:21 GMT
I think we need to bring back the crop nightmares thread. |
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Post by floridagirl on May 17, 2022 13:24:22 GMT
I have very recently stopped attending crops and some weekend retreats very similar and other reasons. It just isn't fun any longer when some women hang on every word our group talks about (and trust me it is pretty boring) and then uses it for gossip. I don't have the bandwidth to deal with this. We get together at my home in a small group where it is actually relaxing and enjoyable.
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Post by myboysnme on May 17, 2022 15:24:28 GMT
I think we need to bring back the crop nightmares thread. I have about 10 crop nightmares on that thread even back then! |
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Post by papersilly on May 17, 2022 17:21:45 GMT
don't go back. just form your own little group.
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Post by CardBoxer on May 17, 2022 18:33:55 GMT
I think we need to bring back the crop nightmares thread.  That sounds like good reading. 😆 |
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Post by CardBoxer on May 17, 2022 18:37:07 GMT
I admit being curious about the thoughts behind “attend and don’t speak up” votes.
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Post by ferblover on May 18, 2022 12:45:17 GMT
In all my years of hosting crops and attending them.. the worst thing was the "loud oversharer, wandering scrapper" She was loud, never stopped talking and would just wander around looking at our pages, which is fine, but to hover over someone for 10 minutes plus is weird. Otherwise we always had great participation. No politics, religion or anything like that. There once was a gal who I invited from here.. Or honestly she joined us after I sent out an invite. BIG MISTAKE.. she was nuts. Nuttier than a fruitcake. ferblover  I actually miss her so much!! Awe, I miss you too!! |
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Post by Linda on May 18, 2022 14:28:59 GMT
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Post by CardBoxer on May 18, 2022 14:32:22 GMT
Oh boy, thanks. (Clearly my life needs to be expanded if reading this will be the day’s high point.) |
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Post by riversong1963 on May 19, 2022 0:30:53 GMT
I think we need to bring back the crop nightmares thread. That sounds like good reading. 😆 Oh, yes. It is. |
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Post by riversong1963 on May 19, 2022 0:32:11 GMT
Thanks! What a hoot this was! |
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Post by kmage on May 19, 2022 2:18:48 GMT
Dear lord, I have spent the last hour reading that thread, pretending that I had some last min work to catch up on.
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Post by mayceesgranny on May 19, 2022 13:20:59 GMT
Hilarious crop stories - I can commiserate and probably add a few!
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Post by scrappyrabbit on May 19, 2022 16:12:12 GMT
Wow- first to answer the question posed at the beginning of this thread, I would leave that crop group and never look back. I have a low tolerance for stuff like that. I wont even go back to a nail salon where the owner was actively encouraging anti-vax conversation. Child abuse and racist talk?? That is horrible and I wouldn't even want to associate with people like that.
The thread posted here is hilarious. I have never been to a crop but some of those stories make me want to see what kind of characters would be at a local crop lol
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I actually miss her so much!!
I actually miss her so much!!
