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Post by darkangel090260 on Jul 3, 2014 17:26:19 GMT
A couple of weeks ago M' and I stopped at Sonic to get a ice tea. When the car hop came out she saw M and ask if he was my grandson. Yes I am 37 when I had him. However, I don't look like I could be someones grandmother. I am still in little bit of shock.
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queenofkings
Full Member
Posts: 283
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:41 GMT
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Post by queenofkings on Jul 3, 2014 17:29:19 GMT
I would feel about the same as when someone asks me if I am pregnant. (I'm not!) Which is to say, I'd probably feel pretty crappy! Sorry she made you feel bad!
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,326
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jul 3, 2014 17:31:37 GMT
Aww that stinks. Depending on your reaction hopefully they learned not to ask people questions like that. You never want to ask someone when they are due unless you know 100% that they are pregnant.
Sorry she made you feel that way.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Jul 3, 2014 17:32:18 GMT
Eh, not something that'd ruin my day. My best friend WAS a grandmother at 37 or 38 so it's not like it isn't possible. I'll bet the car hop was quite young, right? It's amazing what we think of as old when we're that young. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
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Post by gar on Jul 3, 2014 17:42:16 GMT
I'll agree with acathy...assuming she was young, 30 can seem pretty old! I wouldn't let it bother me for more than about 30 seconds.
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swanie78
Junior Member
Posts: 79
Jun 27, 2014 4:11:24 GMT
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Post by swanie78 on Jul 3, 2014 17:43:12 GMT
I'd laugh, correct her, and laugh again when I told the story to my family. But I have thick skin. I've been a Pea for 13 years and a jail nurse for 3 lol
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 19, 2024 21:53:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2014 17:43:46 GMT
Oh, that stings. I've never been asked if I'm the grandma, but I have been asked if I was pregnant when I wasn't! I decided to never wear that shirt again and worked on my tummy some more.
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craftchickapowpow
Full Member
My Circus My Monkeys
Posts: 206
Jun 26, 2014 16:12:18 GMT
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Post by craftchickapowpow on Jul 3, 2014 17:49:30 GMT
I have several friends that are grandmothers at 37 so I can see how that could happen. I would let it go and enjoy my ice tea.
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Post by anonrefugee on Jul 3, 2014 17:50:11 GMT
I had my child at 38, so I know what you mean about not looking like a Grandmother. But the reality is you could be, even if you don't feel like it. Maybe the car hop has a cute Grandma.
I think those having babies in late teens get asked if they're old enough to be a mom, or told they look like a baby themselves. Doesn't sound offensive to me, but if I was 19 and struggling to make house payment and raise an infant I'd be humiliated, or angry. And probably wish if waited!
I speak from experience- remind yourself of all you got to do before you became a parent and let it roll off your back. And if that doesn't work, remind yourself you don't need to be hurt by personal remarks from someone delivering drinks on skates - snark.
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Post by Mary_K on Jul 3, 2014 17:53:28 GMT
UGH.
I'd probably feel looking old that day, rush to the nearest drug store and buy the latest "miracle cream".
But then, I'll be 50 next month and I had my kids at 39 & 40 years old, so I guess I'm old enough to be their very young grandma.
Mary K
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IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
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Post by IAmUnoriginal on Jul 3, 2014 17:56:39 GMT
I'm expecting that one day. I was 37 when I had YDS. If I stop coloring my hair, I can see where that assumption would be made, especially by a teen/young adult. My cousin, who is a year younger than me, has a grandson one year younger than my YDS. I am an older mom. She's a very young grandma --39 with a 2 year old grandson.
I'd probably have to treat myself to a trip to Ulta or a new haircut the first time it happens. I know it will eventually. But, it will still sting just a bit the first time.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Jul 3, 2014 17:59:55 GMT
I'd be tempted to answer, "No, this is my brother," just to see the look of confusion as she tried to do the math.
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Post by moveablefeast on Jul 3, 2014 18:02:20 GMT
My DH is almost four years older than me but people frequently refer to me as his daughter. He has a lot of gray in his beard so he does look older, but I don't think I look like a twentysomething so I don't see it.
My brother was 15 years older than me and people assumed he was my dad because we looked just alike.
A dad in my school is old enough to be his child's grandfather and then some. I'm sure he gets called grandpa a lot.
People make errors sometimes - it's not meant to be personal.
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Post by finally~a~mama on Jul 3, 2014 18:46:11 GMT
I'd be annoyed & maybe a little hurt. Unless it was a teenager and then I'd shrug it off because I remember when I was 17 and thought 37 was ancient. LOL
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Jul 3, 2014 18:55:04 GMT
I would laugh. I get asked if I'm pregnant depending on what I have on and how stupid the person asking. I'm 62. I usually laugh and say no I'm just fat.
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Post by joylynaroundthebnd on Jul 3, 2014 18:55:48 GMT
I don't understand why people do that. When my niece and nephew were in Elementary school, I was in my 40's and would pick them up at after school care. One of the workers told them their grandmother was there to get them. Niece and nephew were a little upset the staff thought that. I told them, I don't care what they call me as long as they know you belong to me.
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Post by lurkingsince2001 on Jul 3, 2014 19:26:49 GMT
My husband and I had a cashier at Sam's that mentioned how he noticed we always came in at the same time every week and how nice it was that a grandfather (dh) was out with his daughter (me) and his grandkids. I think we were actually bothered more by his noticing our schedule than getting our ages wrong. Either way we weren't comfortable going back.
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Post by greenlegume on Jul 3, 2014 19:33:05 GMT
If I wasn't completely gray, and didn't look like someone's grandmother, then I wouldn't give a comment from a random carhop any further thought. She's probably all of what, 15 or 16? Anyone over 25 is OLD to someone that age.
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Post by Sassy Sabrina SWZ on Jul 3, 2014 19:34:28 GMT
That DID happen to me, and I didn't like it one bit. I had my second child, my son, when I was 37. When he was just a toddler in a stroller, I was shopping in a department store, and an older woman (who was probably a grandmother herself--so, not a teenager) asked me if he was my grandson. I felt very hurt (and since I'm still remembering the incident more than 30 years later, you can see that it stung). Later, I tried to rationalize that maybe she had just had a new grandchild herself and thought I was a "colleague." But that didn't help me feel any better. So I really sympathize with you.
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Post by baslp on Jul 3, 2014 19:37:12 GMT
I was in the hospital after having surgery a few yrs ago. The nurse asked if my husband was my son. I did have my hair pulled back so you could see I had some grey hair. I promptly told her no my son is 6 , that is my husband. I did go to a beauty salon and have my few grey hairs dyed as soon as I could.
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Post by greenlegume on Jul 3, 2014 19:37:19 GMT
My husband and I had a cashier at Sam's that mentioned how he noticed we always came in at the same time every week and how nice it was that a grandfather (dh) was out with his daughter (me) and his grandkids. I think we were actually bothered more by his noticing our schedule than getting our ages wrong. Either way we weren't comfortable going back.
I just don't understand why a cashier noticing that you were a regular would make you uncomfortable enough to stop shopping there.
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Post by melanell on Jul 3, 2014 19:39:06 GMT
When my 2nd was just a tiny baby an elderly man working at Lowe's came over to coo at him and he referred to me as his grandmother. I was 36, so it wasn't outside the realm of possibility, but I still was pretty surprised!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 19, 2024 21:53:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2014 19:43:30 GMT
My old boss stuck her mouth in her foot badly one day. My Mom and sister came by for some reason or other and she asked me if it was my Grandma and Mom. I was 18, sister was 23, Mom wasn't quite 50 although she had stopped coloring her hair by then so it was 98% gray/white. Mom said, no I'm Mom, this is her sister. My poor boss stammered, blushed and apologized. I teased her about it for a couple years. Damn, I miss that woman. She was possibly the best boss I had.
What bugs me is when I don't get carded. I'm not over 40 and I sure as hell do not look over 40!
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Post by keknj on Jul 3, 2014 19:45:49 GMT
I'd be tempted to answer, "No, this is my brother," just to see the look of confusion as she tried to do the math.
Miz I for the win!
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Post by melanell on Jul 3, 2014 19:47:05 GMT
When I worked retail in a mall department store I definitely noticed habits of regulars. I promise I wasn't stalking them or keeping a spreadsheet or anything. Some of them came so often over the years that some of the other employees would memorize their phone numbers. (We kept a tablet with requests for merchandise, and we'd call you when it came in. So the girls who waited on people who made frequent requests wound up calling them quite often.) I can barely remember my SSN, though, so I always had to get their number from the tablet. Eventually some of them would even have lunch with some of the ladies. And several employees attended the viewing of a customer who passed away. It was like losing an old friend. She'd come in even if she didn't want to buy anything just to talk. And we definitely knew the routines of the "walkers", because they tended to be there every single day. And the cashiers at the regular local grocery stores, they absolutely know me & my family. I'm sorry it made you feel uncomfortable, but I do think it's pretty common for anyone working with the public to notice and remember things about regular customers.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Jul 3, 2014 20:13:44 GMT
That's okay -- get this. My dd20 -- who is 5'8" and about 120 pounds soaking wet had a guy ask her if she was pregnant today. People are stupid and say stupid things.
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Post by elaine on Jul 3, 2014 20:30:17 GMT
I had my kids at 36 & 38 and have had that happen to me a couple of times. It didn't really bother me. The people asking probably had young grandparents themselves.
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miyooper2b
Full Member
Posts: 331
Location: Central Indiana
Jun 27, 2014 15:38:05 GMT
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Post by miyooper2b on Jul 3, 2014 20:34:37 GMT
I would not be happy about that. But then, I've had people mistake me for my grandkids mother, not their grandmother. I don't mind my age, I just don't want to look my age.
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Post by MissBianca on Jul 3, 2014 20:39:21 GMT
My BFF got asked if her DH was her son. Granted her DD's are 12 and 14 and her DH is 25 and she's 40, but still.
She was fuming! The rest of us laughed!
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 3, 2014 21:12:53 GMT
Ouch!
(((hugs))) I'm sorry she said that. That was very thoughtless.
Don't take it to heart. People say rude things all the time.
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