Do You Ever Wonder How the World Might Look Different To You

I haven’t done anything dramatic but I do definitely try and think about, and be aware of, other people’s lives. Sometimes that just makes me stop and be aware of all the things I’m grateful for and other times it makes me maybe have a little more patience with someone who is taking too long over something. Occasionally I might feel a twinge of jealousy I must admit (I would do some amazing things with a lottery win! 😁 ) but it can also be really interesting to ponder other people’s stories 😊

This is a very interesting question. I read mostly non fiction. My reads are usually self help, psychology or sociology related. I am incredibly interested in how other people feel and act. And I am incredibly interested in how I behave and what I feel too.

I recently took the enneagram test. My therapist had suggested it. And what I learned is that I'm a 4. The biggest drawback of being a 4 is envy. Not envy of things, possessions. But envy of the happiness of others. I bristled against this suggestion for about a week. Surely I am not jealous. And what came down to is that I am and I am not.

I wish for simplicity. I wish for normalcy. There is a very primal instinct inside me that is always on a quest to improve my life, understand myself better, and learn to live more in harmony with other people. But then I have very mixed feelings because I have a strong sense of authenticity. This is me warts and all and if I want acceptance, then I have to accept that from others too. And do so without envy. When I step back and look hard, I truly don't want their life. But I have remind myself of it.

So honestly most of the time, I think I do a pretty good job of seeing things from others perspectives. But I have to constantly remind myself that I don't see it all.

It's DISGUSTING what our country throws away.  I hear stories all the time about restaurants and grocery stores who throw perfectly good food out, and POUR BLEACH ON IT so people won't dumpster dive because they're afraid of getting sued or something.  There is NO REASON why that food can't be given to food banks, shelters, etc.  It's especially heartbreaking to see starving children.  The kids in that video were so happy to get just the scraps.    

I try really hard to only buy what we are going to eat so we don't have spoiled food.   I want to try to have a garden next year so we can grow a lot of our own.  It's so hard for me physically, though.  

Wow! I do so admire your capacity for self-reflection and the courage to examine your flaws. I’m sorry we can’t sit down over a cup of tea and chat. I think I’d learn a lot.

Definitely moving to Morocco has changed my outlook and the way we live quite a lot. Even before we moved here, I was struck at the poverty here. Yes, there is poor in America, but they typically still can get water or some food. Here, there are many that might not have access to potable water, food, bathrooms. And to think Morocco is high on the list of more developed countries in Africa. I cannot even imagine how much worse it gets heading into the sub-Sahara regions.

I was really struck at how gluttonous life is in America. The food portions compared to here...MY GOD! There aren't refills here. Just the amount of clothing and personal items that people own here vs. in America. Mind-blowing.

I cook less quantities of food because we have just gotten used to eating less. If we have leftovers, we almost always give them to our house help. The kids clothes they have outgrown or toys...always give them to others. Living here has really opened my eyes to how incredibly blessed we are.

Working in the schools here was a huge eye opener as well. Some kids couldn't afford books or even basic school supplies. I would often have "contests" (homework/participation) in which the kids could win crayons or pencils or notebooks. It would blow you away to see how happy they would be to have something so simple.

I could go on and on about life stories of the people I have met here. It really is a game changer when you can really stop and realize that yes...others are quite a bit less fortunate. We all still have bad things happen, I am not trying to discount that. But traveling and living in a third world country will flip your world around for sure.

My personality type tends to be very affected by the feelings and emotions of others, so yes. Living/working with people from different backgrounds helps a lot with being able to imagine others' perspectives, as does travel to different cultures.

When I started empathizing more with other people’s lives and experiences … I became a Democrat.

My life has been so hard that the only time I do this, I wonder how much easier/different my life might be if I were lucky enough to walk in someone else’s shoes - but I don’t in the ways that you are asking about.

I am acutely aware that life could be very different for me and I am very grateful for what I have. I remember humble beginnings of living in public housing, having subsidized school lunches, and not having money for extracurricular activities, etc. Fast forward 40+ years and life is very different. Opportunity is everything. We are healthy, educated, and reasonably secure. I say reasonably because who is ever completely secure? I don't take any of those things for granted. 

We were on a large family trip overseas in a nation that some would consider third world. The abject poverty was palpable and crushing. There was almost a feeling of survivor's guilt when walking around. We've been other places, even domestically, where it felt like this.  Why were we "lucky" and not them? It really put things in perspective.

interesting questions.... i remind myself often of the privilege and opportunities that have been afforded to me, especially when i catch myself feeling sorry for myself.

i look at things others have and think "it would be nice to have that" but then remember, someone will look at what i have and say "looked how lucky she is".

when people don't respond in a polite or friendly manner, i remind myself that perhaps they may have just received some bad news or have worries weighing heavy on them.

when people are totally awful on an ongoing basis, i tend to feel sorry for them. it must suck to live in such a negative headspace and assume the worst about everything and everyone in your life. 

i am very careful to not say things like "i am so jealous" or "must be nice" when someone in my life has something amazing going on. it seems like those comments imply that person is not worthy of what joy they are experiencing, or that i somehow feel i am more deserving.

so i do try hard to be introspective... but admit, i am more wasteful than i should be. laziness and bad planning, that is my weakness.

Thank you, my friend. ❤️

I am sorry for my previous post - it has been a particularly hard summer so far with my kids (who are adults now) and so I vented some of that. Yesterday was particularly violent and last week I had to cut short my New Orleans trip (only the second trip I’ve attempted with my Dh since we started having kids 22 years ago) because the police were called on ds#2 because he couldn’t handle both Dh and I out of town at the same time.  I feel imprisoned by the situation with my children - there is literally no escape or real respite. 

I actually do think, on a regular basis while walking the dogs (great time for thinking), how lucky I am that fate/chance/G-d/or whatever-you-believe allowed me to be born into circumstances which allow me to have a roof over my head, enough to eat, indoor plumbing, not too crowded living situation, ability to take a shower whenever I want to, etc.   So, yes, I do imagine what it would be like without the physical comfort I take for granted on a regular basis.  I try to acknowledge how lucky I am and say some internal words of gratitude for all that I do have.  

Yes I do.

There are a few people I follow on Instagram who have these lives that just seem so ideal to me. Huge families. Family gatherings. People and gatherings.

I often wonder what the would feel like. What it would be like to have a system, a soft place, a pre-set plan for holidays, people around the table, traditions. I really think that is where I would thrive. I often wonder if that is why I am a teacher. I create that in mg classroom.

Hugs Elaine.

I find it very easy to imagine different possibilities that might exist for other people. So much so that people who jump to conclusions, make assumptions, judge strangers, etc. often baffle me in that they act as if they see only one possibility (typically negative) and not the dozens or more that I see.