|
|
Post by epeanymous on Jul 11, 2022 17:50:52 GMT
Short version: ideas for helping a 79-year-old make friends?
Long version: my father died recently. My mother has no friends of any kind. She has a sister she talks to, but who lives across the country. I do see her a few times a week, but she is lonely and bored. She is not interested in religion. She does not have hobbies. She is physically healthy and pretty active. Any ideas for where I might send her to connect with people? I tried encouraging her to go to a grief group but she does not want anything that (to her) comes with mental health overtones.
|
|
|
|
Post by littlemama on Jul 11, 2022 17:52:30 GMT
Is their a Senior Citizens Center in her community or a neighboring community? They tend to have a lot of different activities. Also, look at Parks and Rec brochures. They often have Senior activities and trips
|
|
pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 5,980 
|
Post by pantsonfire on Jul 11, 2022 17:54:41 GMT
Yoga for older adults.
Card game club?
Puzzle club?
Does your city have e a senior center?
Swimming?
Book club?
|
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Jul 11, 2022 18:04:20 GMT
some things my mum was involved in in her 70s - maybe one would work for yours?
volunteered at the friends of the library bookshop
volunteered at a local historic site
joined a photography walking group (they would met up and walk a trail or a scenic area or a waterfront etc...and take pictures)
joined the local AMC group (more walks and trails)
took advantage of the free senior classes at the local University
joined the local senior centre (she complained about it being all 'old people' but she did find activities of interest)
traveled with elderhostel (I think they are called Road Scholar now)
joined a local Irish history and genealogy group (she was Irish American - she didn't research herself (I did) but enjoyed the various meetings and talks)
She did do a grief group when Dad died (she was 52 then) and I think found it helpful.
|
|
|
|
Post by cadoodlebug on Jul 11, 2022 18:07:21 GMT
Does her community have a Newcomer's Club? We have one where I live where you don't have to be a newcomer to join. We have over 40 monthly activities such as luncheons, games, book clubs, walking groups, golf groups ~ you name it, we have it! It is a an awesome way for people to meet new people.
|
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Jul 11, 2022 18:09:08 GMT
There are lots of older ladies who volunteer at the hospital.
Group fitness classes like Zumba? I see lots of older ladies doing those classes right alongside the younger ladies at my gym.
Hiking groups often have meetups for older or slower hikers (or maybe she doesn't even need that and would leave them in the dust, lol)
Does she actually want to go places and meet friends? My MIL seems pretty content to not have any at all even though we've suggested lots of things. She prefers the Internet.
|
|
|
|
Post by SockMonkey on Jul 11, 2022 19:00:07 GMT
Short version: ideas for helping a 79-year-old make friends? Long version: my father died recently. My mother has no friends of any kind. She has a sister she talks to, but who lives across the country. I do see her a few times a week, but she is lonely and bored. She is not interested in religion. She does not have hobbies. She is physically healthy and pretty active. Any ideas for where I might send her to connect with people? I tried encouraging her to go to a grief group but she does not want anything that (to her) comes with mental health overtones. If she's active and you have a gym nearby, see if they have a "silver sneakers" or other senior activities. I am a Lifetime member and now they have this Arora club for seniors where they have senior-focused exercise classes and social events (like coffee hour 2x a week). It seems really nice and I see seniors participating. Maybe even the park district or library has something? Also, many hospitals have greeters that are seniors; they stay at the entrance and help folks find where they need to go. |
|
|
|
Post by piebaker on Jul 11, 2022 19:47:23 GMT
Is there a Panera at a mall nearby? Our Panera hosts a seniors group of men that meet on Tuesdays mornings and the women meet on Wednesdays. I believe they mallwalk before refreshments, but not all of the attendees are mallwalkers.
Also, does she garden?The local garden center has volunteers and some are eventually hired.
|
|
|
|
Post by Neisey on Jul 11, 2022 20:04:09 GMT
Volunteering!
Because she may be reluctant to your efforts of getting her out of the house to meet people through card games or yoga classes can you sell it to her as an opportunity for her to help others(and thereby help herself)?
|
|
maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,791
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
|
Post by maryannscraps on Jul 11, 2022 20:06:04 GMT
A garden club or birdwatching club? That's what my mom is interested in.
|
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Jul 11, 2022 22:39:14 GMT
It would have to wait until school begins, but our schools are always seeking people to listen to a first or second grader read to them. The kinders usually are reading by Christmas, so that is another age group. At our schools it is very low stress--get a background check, get assigned to a teacher. The child who is reading sits at a desk in the hall, the adult sits nearby and listens to the kid read. I think it is a 15 to 30 minute session. Your mother could sign up for as many days as she has time and an interest.
City pounds are often looking for someone to help with the animals.
Hospitals often are seeking someone to rock the infants during the day.
|
|
mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,073
|
Post by mimima on Jul 11, 2022 23:19:56 GMT
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 21:18:34 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2022 23:33:23 GMT
If you are just looking for activities, our local library has really great activities for adults. We get a good age range who come to various lectures, book clubs and activities.
|
|
|
|
Post by Really Red on Jul 11, 2022 23:46:58 GMT
Did she not have any friends in common with your dad? Sometimes you just need to reach out to people.
But my mother also did not have very many friends at 79. She had a big family and her cousins and her sisters were all her friends but she didn’t have many unrelated friends. She moved into a retirement community and it was amazing. My mother who never gossiped or went out to lunches or did anything with friends, started doing all of those things. She went to exercise classes, went out movies with friends and did all sorts of things I would have never ever thought my mother would do. I truly think that her last years were made so much better by having those interactions. Your mom might not want to move into a retirement community, but I think it is the absolute best thing for people of a certain age.
|
|
peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
|
Post by peaname on Jul 13, 2022 0:43:50 GMT
Is there a hobby that you might get her to try along with you such as a cooking class or crafts class? I’d be easily convinced to join something if my daughter asked me!
|
|
|
|
Post by lisacharlotte on Jul 13, 2022 1:29:20 GMT
My MIL plays mahjong with a group of ladies. I believe they met at a senior center. She’s 83 and the group is at the age where they move in with kids far away or go into a nursing home so there is some turnover in members that play. She also takes day/weekend bus tours to nearby cities with other seniors.
|
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Jul 13, 2022 1:32:10 GMT
Does she actually want to go places and meet friends? My MIL seems pretty content to not have any at all even though we've suggested lots of things. She prefers the Internet. My mother doesn't know how to use the internet, which is a lot of the problem! Thank you, everyone. So many great ideas -- I am going to start looking. |
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Jul 13, 2022 1:33:01 GMT
Did she not have any friends in common with your dad? Sometimes you just need to reach out to people. Literally neither of them have ever had any friends as long as I can remember (I am 50). It's a weird situation. |
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Jul 13, 2022 2:37:57 GMT
*If* she is interested in learning how to use the internet, perhaps the senior center or your library might have classes for seniors. If she is not "people friendly" the internet might be her ticket to a more interesting life.
Would a local teenager help her learn things? One of my friends had a teenager come and teach her how to use the computer and do things on the 'net.
|
|
|
|
Post by pmm on Jul 13, 2022 12:26:41 GMT
Our YMCA has a discounted membership for seniors and also has an area for them to gather that is a kid free zone. Their private pool is heated too.
|
|
artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,352
|
Post by artbabe on Jul 13, 2022 14:36:16 GMT
If she's active and you have a gym nearby, see if they have a "silver sneakers" or other senior activities. I was going to mention silver sneakers. My mom joined that and made a lot of friends. Being physically active also helps people be mentally healthy, so I'd definitely look into that. My dad doesn't have any friends, either, but that seems to be his choice. He always had a lot of acquaintances from work and hobbies but he just isn't a friend type of person. He was involved in some hobbies but when I offer to take him to some of those he isn't interested. It is frustrating. He can't walk very well and I think that is part of it. So he watches way too much Fox News. Eek. |
|
|
|
Post by compeateropeator on Jul 13, 2022 15:34:00 GMT
I was going to suggest possibly:
volunteering at a senior day program or in an assisted living facility
Taking/going to a senior swim group or time.
volunteering for something like meals on wheels
finding a book club or other game type club
Good luck. Truthfully it is hard to find places to meet people, even when you are young, if you are not outgoing and extroverted. So depending on her personality it may be difficult for her to just start going someplace.
Is there anything that you can think of that over the years that she has expressed an interest in but just never followed up on exploring? Like, Outdoors/nature, games, reading, history, etc. I would start there and look for specific groups geared toward that. Maybe go to a first meeting with your mom just to support her.
I am not sure with Covid, but our area often had day trips to various places (flower shows, museums, scenic tours, etc) for seniors. I hope your mom can find something/someplace to connect with people and that gives her enjoyment.
|
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Jul 13, 2022 20:19:21 GMT
I donate often (and also shop at) a thrift store that benefits a local hospital. There are lots of older folks who volunteer there and they're always chatting with the patrons. Seems like a fun activity for them.
|
|
|
|
Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 13, 2022 20:32:20 GMT
She may not want the "work" of making friends. It can be exhausting.
Do any local churches, synagogues, senior centers, rec centers, etc, offer bus trips to either the beach, the mountains, a popular tourist spot, etc?
The trips are day trips, some may be one night overnight, and they take all the work out of planning the trip, connecting to a travel agency, etc. Meals & activities are planned through, and a flat price is set.
On that note, a cruise maybe?
Is she depressed because of her grief? She may be feeling apathetic to being involved because of it.
|
|
roadscholar
One Post Wonder
Posts: 1
Jul 15, 2022 13:39:49 GMT
|
Post by roadscholar on Jul 15, 2022 13:45:04 GMT
As Linda suggested, Road Scholar would be a great option! We offer educational programs in all 50 states and 100 countries, and camaraderie is a really big part of what we do! 30% of our travelers go solo, and 80% of the solo travelers are women. We hear so often that solo female travelers have felt so welcome on our programs and have made lifelong friends that they have traveled with again after. I encourage you to check it out: www.roadscholar.org. Feel free to email me if you have any questions! kelsey.perri@roadscholar.org. |
|
