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Post by Basket1lady on Jul 18, 2022 14:58:11 GMT
Obviously you know the situation better than us, but it always bothers me when people assume that “money is not an issue” for us. That does not obligate us to feed our entire family regularly, pay for restaurant meals, or pay for other group activities. I’m extremely comfortable in saying money is not an issue for them but I am curious about what you would define as “regularly.” The last time they hosted was over a year ago. There are 6 siblings: This BIL and we are the usual hosts, one does occasionally (like once in the last 10 years) and none of the others do. I guess I just sort of feel like if you offer to host (which they did, they weren’t obligated) then food is part of it. When we go out to restaurants (rarely, I can think of once in the last 15 years) everyone pays for themselves, and we don’t do other activities together. If your gatherings are only once a year, I’m definitely on your side and it does seem cheap to ask for others to bring their main dish. I’m definitely projecting here. It’s gotten to the point that when we eat out or do an activity as a group with part of our family, it’s sort of expected that we pay. Because we don’t live near family and only see them once or twice a year, it’s not a huge deal. But I’d say that it’s easily been 15 years since we have been to someone’s house for a meal on that side of the family. And I can absolutely promise you that we are viewed as wealthy by them. Again, I’m projecting this on our own situation.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,370
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Jul 18, 2022 15:10:20 GMT
I'm a it depends person. Close family/friends, depending on the circumstances totally fine.
I can see it working well where there are several dietary restrictions. Or if a person always hosts and it gets expensive. OR if they really want to host at times, but just can't afford to.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,170
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Jul 18, 2022 16:39:40 GMT
It’s gotten to the point that when we eat out or do an activity as a group with part of our family, it’s sort of expected that we pay. Because we don’t live near family and only see them once or twice a year, it’s not a huge deal. But I’d say that it’s easily been 15 years since we have been to someone’s house for a meal on that side of the family. And I can absolutely promise you that we are viewed as wealthy by them. Again, I’m projecting this on our own situation. I’m sorry… that sucks!
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Post by melanell on Jul 18, 2022 20:12:38 GMT
I've never heard of such a thing! I don't eat meat, so it wouldn't matter to me in the least, but I could imagine that at least some of the other guests might find it off-putting. Although, with inflation the way it is, maybe this is the way to go with cook-outs this summer.
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Post by melanell on Jul 18, 2022 20:14:15 GMT
I voted cheapskate, but I’ll also add that it doesn’t count for close friends or family. Some peoples homes are the “go to” houses because they are better set up to host and they should not always have to provide the venue and the food. Excellent point!
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