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Post by arielsmom on Jul 18, 2022 18:23:46 GMT
It is easiest to be d/c from the hospital to a skilled care facility. If you take your dad home, find that his needs can't be met at home, it can be a nightmare to get into skilled care.
Went thru this with dad's lady friend.
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Post by lucyg on Jul 18, 2022 19:15:13 GMT
My stepdad is in an assisted living facility (was just recently moved into memory care). It is very nice (yes, expensive) but not perfect. He calls them constantly for dumb little things, and they don’t always respond immediately. But we are not talking about “lying for hours in his own waste” level neglect. Many of the other residents are up and about, and they look happy and relatively healthy. My mom, stepdad’s grandson, and others visit regularly, and help troubleshoot any problems that may arise. I hope you can get past feeling that all of these places are hellholes. You need to let them take care of him for you.  |
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Post by scrappintoee on Jul 20, 2022 19:21:26 GMT
THANK YOU for all the advice and encouragement!  (( hugs )) to everybody who's gone through / is going through this. I updated in the OP....there's a brief, succinct update followed by a TL/DR.
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Post by scrappintoee on Jul 20, 2022 20:01:17 GMT
OMG! RIght after I posted, the hospital calls. They didn't pack Dad's C-PAP machine....because, of COURSE!!!  I do NOT understand this! Other hospitals have a check-list of what the patient arrives with, then, they make sure the patient leaves with EVERYTHING ON THAT LIST... it's so SIMPLE! And this is a HUGE hospital....how could they not have check-lists!!! Now we have to schlep alllll the way back in rush hour !!!!!!!! |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 1, 2024 8:20:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2022 22:36:25 GMT
Just read your update and wanted to say to take of yourself too.
l found looking after my Dad was so consuming with problems to do with care that I ended up in Hospital twice with emergency treatments because the worry and trying to sort things out never stopped . The chronic stress caused my blood pressure and sugar to go through the roof, I ended up with a potentially fatal condition and was told that if I had not received emergency treatment that I would have had organ failure in two days due to complications. I had been putting my Dad’s needs first and after that I realised things needed to change.
I know it is hard and easier said than done but really try to make sure that you are ok too.
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Jul 20, 2022 22:48:45 GMT
scrappintoee Hire a private nurse if this is what you need to have peace of mind. You are going to make yourself ill with all the worrying that you are doing.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 1, 2024 8:20:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2022 5:30:48 GMT
scrappintoee : I'm so sorry you're going through this! I do agree about this being the time to call in for ALL of the help you can get with even the small decisions/worries! Can you siblings offer any help at all??
DH wanted to be at home vs anywhere else, even if his condition wasn't terminal. When he had each hospital stay (even ICU stays), I fought to stay in the room, in a corner, and was proactive for him. BUT, being at home meant it was pretty much all on me (as it would be for you) and it's a LOT. It's so much more than you think. You're thinking far ahead. Try to worry about what each day brings and handle it ONE day at a time or you'll go nuts with worry.
DH only had those last few days where he was deemed to be bedridden and he wasn't responsive. Until then, I cared for him and was "on call" 24/7. Even then you have worries!! He and I both had c-diff in hospital situations. He had sepsis 4 times and other infections. But you need help in making decisions now. Can you depend on you siblings to at least give their input so you're not doing it all alone??
As far as the VA, I got no help from them. DH did belong to VA medical care, and he could have opted to get his cancer care through them. Then he could have been housed in their hospital vs another hospital, but we didn't go that way. We relied on Moffitt for his cancer care and then at-home Hospice (it's all they had due to Covid) for his terminal cancer.
Take a DEEP breath and make a list. This is the time to call in all of the help that you could get. It shouldn't all be on you. I know you've been through so much already. I hope that you can get some help. 91 in my family isn't too old. My grandmothers both lived in their homes until they were nearly 100. My mom is 88 and we do worry (she lives alone). I hope there are answers to your worries, but TRY not to think far ahead and try not to worry too much. Think about what's directly impacting his health RIGHT NOW and take it from there.
Hugs to you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Much love to you. xoxo (It IS incredible how our lives have taken such a sharp turn in such a short time period!)
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I do NOT understand this!