Post by scrappintoee on Jul 17, 2022 21:00:52 GMT
**Update July 20th....
THANK YOU to everyone who gave great advice and support!
I wanted to add that before this happened, my emotions were already
volatile due to losing our young nephew 2 months ago, plus two beloved, elderly
doggies, AND my husband's brother, and a brother-in-law on his side of the fam.
BRIEF UPDATE:
....so far, it's NOT going well at his rehab/SNF, but I'm taking deeeep breaths
and hoping things will get better! One GOOD thing----he got into the one I thought
would be best, after lots of research.
I'm trying to cope that him being in a facility is actually (sort of) worse
then when he lived with us.
**end of brief update*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
TL / DR:
I have TRIED to let some of my anxiety go and let the PROFESSIONALS take care of him.
He hasn't even been in the facility for a full day, and there's already several problems.
ON TOP OF THAT....
**The HOSPITAL case managers were impossible to get ahold of, but when they finally called back, they sounded rushed/stressed and couldn't answer MANY of my questions.
**Case mgr. surprised that NOT ONE doctor has EVER called us. I wish I had some
magical way to get ahold of his doctors, but, I don't.
**Hospital Case Mgr. told me to ask nurses some of my questions----the nurse was too busy
yesterday and couldn't get to the phone, because....of course.
I did lots of research, and the thankfully, the one I *think* was the best choice,
he got into.
They finally get him to the facility yesterday...
*Every day at home, (online) he reads The New York Times, Wall Street Journal,
Washington Post, and The New Yorker magazine. He can barely operate his
computer at home. IF he wants us to get him an ipad, I doubt he'll ever
be able to operate it.
(I'd be HAPPY to get him subscriptions through the mail, (do they even do that anymore?) but who knows how long he'll be in this place? Borders and Barnes and Noble
USED to sell all the major newspapers---wonder if they still do?)
He ALWAYS needs DH's help with his computer,
his TV, everything !!!!! There is NO WAY there are staff to help him. Not
to mention, theft is a problem in *some* facilities (I'm not saying it'll
happen, but it CAN!)
*TV is at a weird angle, so he can't even see it. (I guess we could
ask maintenance if it can be moved, I'll check).
*Can't reach the landline, doesn't ask staff because they're too busy.
*Can't reach the charger for his cell phone, staff is too busy.
*NO ONE has explained anything to him about therapies, daily routine, etc.
*I* knew he'd need regular clothes, etc. and kept telling him he WON'T
be in a gown 24/7 like the hospital. Could SOMEONE at the hospital
had mentioned all the things he'd need BEFORE he left?
*What do they do for patients who have NO ONE nearby? How do
they get clothes, toiletries, cell phone chargers, batteries, etc?
*I can't get ahold of the nurses to ask how often they're checking/ changing
his diaper. I do NOT want to "bother" them, but I need to know!
*I do not have the ENERGY or TIME to keep calling over and over and over again.
*I have a BLINDING headache today, and am so anxious over so many
issues. I just can't visit him today, but my DH (saint!) is taking a lot
of things for him. If I didn't mention it before, I have VERY painful arthritis
in almost every damn joint, so visiting him is BRUTAL !
*He's on IV antibiotics for many weeks, so we discussed with 2 different doctors about putting him on a pro-biotic and daily foods like yogurt to avoid
potential super-infections, and we REALLY hope he doesn't get C-dif ! I have to trust the doctors started him on one last week. But medication orders notoriously aren't always correct when they move from hospital to nursing home.
**What my sister and I don't understand is why they don't just put them on probiotics automatically !!!!
**I have not been able to get ANYONE to tell me the last time he had a stool (if ever!) because, again----the hospital nurse wasn't reachable by phone yesterday. Over the weekend, I asked several aides, and NO ONE KNEW !! THIS IS HOW PATIENTS GET FECAL IMPACTIONS, which can be serious !!!!
To top ALL of this off, my sister (in another state), just texted me to see if we could bring Dad some kombucha,
kefir, etc.
OMG.... Sure, if he was at home or a hotel! She already drives me crazy, and I had stopped talking to her. NOW, I am FORCED to on a regular basis! As long as she
doesn't mention her love of Trump, I guess I can handle it. eeek!
The staff doesn't even have time to answer the phone when we call,
explain ANYthing to him, and God knows how often they're TURNING HIM so he doesn't get bed sores. And they're supposed to store his special drinks in a communal fridge, (hoping no one else accidentally takes them), and then bring them any time he wants? I keep telling her he's not at a luxurious hotel !
OP (July 17)
Let me preface this by saying I have volunteered at a few nursing homes,
and have seen horrible things. My heart breaks for these people, and
the overworked staff who care about them. And then, there are the
staff that DON'T care, but that's a whole other thread.
My Dad is recovering from sepsis and they want to move him from
the hospital to a skilled nursing/rehab facility in a few days.
His care in the hospital has been great, but as always---they
are VERY short-staffed, and many things haven't been done for him.
But nothing that has threatened his life or caused him suffering.
I am researching where to send him, and the horrific things I'm reading
are causing me anxiety. Some of the places near us are ones where
I volunteered in the past, so I already KNOW how bad they can be.
For those that don't know, the state inspections of all facilities
are public. I am about to spend hours researching this. I need
to know how many and what KIND of "deficiencies" of each one.
Another tip---just because a facility looks like a gorgeous, luxurious hotel
doesn't mean a THING! And, since the pandemic started, staffing at ALL
of them is at an all-time low.
I can't ask the social worker anything today (Sunday), so I wanted to
see if any of you can advise me / tell me your parents' experience.
Instead of sending him to a horrible facility where he may lie in his
own waste for 8 hours , get bedsores, not get a shower for 2 weeks,
etc. etc. etc. we're considering him coming back to our house and getting
home nurses and home PT/ OT. I have extreme anxiety about him
suffering and then dying alone in a depressing facility!
I already know Medicare will NOT pay for home nurses/ nurse aides.
But maybe they'd at LEAST pay for a nurse to give his IV antibiotics
every day? Then he/we would have to pay a nurse aide to do
everything else.
Will Medicare pay for his HOME physical therapy and occupational therapy,
or do they only pay if it's done in an inpatient SNF/ rehab facility.
I'm also wondering if he may want to stop the IV antibiotics, all the
lab tests, and all the future, (probably futile!) procedures they're
planning. I also know he will NOT want to wear diapers. IF he
ends up in a facility, there is definitely NOT enough staff to assist
him to a beside toilet.
He was okay (with his walker) at home and mostly independent.
He was still taking outdoor walks and doing chair exercises. Had
no problems with toileting, and still made his own meals (he's 91).
Getting in and out of the shower was getting harder for him,
but we got him a shower chair, a handrail, etc.
But the sepsis and being
in bed 24/7 has weakened him. The hospital is giving him
physical therapy twice a day, but it is very brief. If he's in bed
this much, are the therapies even going to help that much?
He is at such high risk for bedsores, and there is NO WAY
there will be enough staff to turn/reposition him every two hours
in a facility! *IF* my DH and could do it at home, we would, but
I can't. I'd also change diapers, but physically, I can't.
If he tells the doctors he no longer wants all of this, would he then
be considered hospice, and just get palliative ("comfort") end-of-life care? Does Medicare
pay for home hospice if the patient is NOT actually dying, but
just wants to stop everything?
THANK YOU to everyone who gave great advice and support!
I wanted to add that before this happened, my emotions were already
volatile due to losing our young nephew 2 months ago, plus two beloved, elderly
doggies, AND my husband's brother, and a brother-in-law on his side of the fam.
BRIEF UPDATE:
....so far, it's NOT going well at his rehab/SNF, but I'm taking deeeep breaths
and hoping things will get better! One GOOD thing----he got into the one I thought
would be best, after lots of research.
I'm trying to cope that him being in a facility is actually (sort of) worse
then when he lived with us.
**end of brief update*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
TL / DR:
I have TRIED to let some of my anxiety go and let the PROFESSIONALS take care of him.
He hasn't even been in the facility for a full day, and there's already several problems.
ON TOP OF THAT....
**The HOSPITAL case managers were impossible to get ahold of, but when they finally called back, they sounded rushed/stressed and couldn't answer MANY of my questions.
**Case mgr. surprised that NOT ONE doctor has EVER called us. I wish I had some
magical way to get ahold of his doctors, but, I don't.
**Hospital Case Mgr. told me to ask nurses some of my questions----the nurse was too busy
yesterday and couldn't get to the phone, because....of course.
I did lots of research, and the thankfully, the one I *think* was the best choice,
he got into.
They finally get him to the facility yesterday...
*Every day at home, (online) he reads The New York Times, Wall Street Journal,
Washington Post, and The New Yorker magazine. He can barely operate his
computer at home. IF he wants us to get him an ipad, I doubt he'll ever
be able to operate it.
(I'd be HAPPY to get him subscriptions through the mail, (do they even do that anymore?) but who knows how long he'll be in this place? Borders and Barnes and Noble
USED to sell all the major newspapers---wonder if they still do?)
He ALWAYS needs DH's help with his computer,
his TV, everything !!!!! There is NO WAY there are staff to help him. Not
to mention, theft is a problem in *some* facilities (I'm not saying it'll
happen, but it CAN!)
*TV is at a weird angle, so he can't even see it. (I guess we could
ask maintenance if it can be moved, I'll check).
*Can't reach the landline, doesn't ask staff because they're too busy.
*Can't reach the charger for his cell phone, staff is too busy.
*NO ONE has explained anything to him about therapies, daily routine, etc.
*I* knew he'd need regular clothes, etc. and kept telling him he WON'T
be in a gown 24/7 like the hospital. Could SOMEONE at the hospital
had mentioned all the things he'd need BEFORE he left?
*What do they do for patients who have NO ONE nearby? How do
they get clothes, toiletries, cell phone chargers, batteries, etc?
*I can't get ahold of the nurses to ask how often they're checking/ changing
his diaper. I do NOT want to "bother" them, but I need to know!
*I do not have the ENERGY or TIME to keep calling over and over and over again.
*I have a BLINDING headache today, and am so anxious over so many
issues. I just can't visit him today, but my DH (saint!) is taking a lot
of things for him. If I didn't mention it before, I have VERY painful arthritis
in almost every damn joint, so visiting him is BRUTAL !
*He's on IV antibiotics for many weeks, so we discussed with 2 different doctors about putting him on a pro-biotic and daily foods like yogurt to avoid
potential super-infections, and we REALLY hope he doesn't get C-dif ! I have to trust the doctors started him on one last week. But medication orders notoriously aren't always correct when they move from hospital to nursing home.
**What my sister and I don't understand is why they don't just put them on probiotics automatically !!!!
**I have not been able to get ANYONE to tell me the last time he had a stool (if ever!) because, again----the hospital nurse wasn't reachable by phone yesterday. Over the weekend, I asked several aides, and NO ONE KNEW !! THIS IS HOW PATIENTS GET FECAL IMPACTIONS, which can be serious !!!!
To top ALL of this off, my sister (in another state), just texted me to see if we could bring Dad some kombucha,
kefir, etc.
OMG.... Sure, if he was at home or a hotel! She already drives me crazy, and I had stopped talking to her. NOW, I am FORCED to on a regular basis! As long as shedoesn't mention her love of Trump, I guess I can handle it. eeek!
The staff doesn't even have time to answer the phone when we call,
explain ANYthing to him, and God knows how often they're TURNING HIM so he doesn't get bed sores. And they're supposed to store his special drinks in a communal fridge, (hoping no one else accidentally takes them), and then bring them any time he wants? I keep telling her he's not at a luxurious hotel !
OP (July 17)
Let me preface this by saying I have volunteered at a few nursing homes,
and have seen horrible things. My heart breaks for these people, and
the overworked staff who care about them. And then, there are the
staff that DON'T care, but that's a whole other thread.
My Dad is recovering from sepsis and they want to move him from
the hospital to a skilled nursing/rehab facility in a few days.
His care in the hospital has been great, but as always---they
are VERY short-staffed, and many things haven't been done for him.
But nothing that has threatened his life or caused him suffering.
I am researching where to send him, and the horrific things I'm reading
are causing me anxiety. Some of the places near us are ones where
I volunteered in the past, so I already KNOW how bad they can be.
For those that don't know, the state inspections of all facilities
are public. I am about to spend hours researching this. I need
to know how many and what KIND of "deficiencies" of each one.
Another tip---just because a facility looks like a gorgeous, luxurious hotel
doesn't mean a THING! And, since the pandemic started, staffing at ALL
of them is at an all-time low.
I can't ask the social worker anything today (Sunday), so I wanted to
see if any of you can advise me / tell me your parents' experience.
Instead of sending him to a horrible facility where he may lie in his
own waste for 8 hours , get bedsores, not get a shower for 2 weeks,
etc. etc. etc. we're considering him coming back to our house and getting
home nurses and home PT/ OT. I have extreme anxiety about him
suffering and then dying alone in a depressing facility!
I already know Medicare will NOT pay for home nurses/ nurse aides.
But maybe they'd at LEAST pay for a nurse to give his IV antibiotics
every day? Then he/we would have to pay a nurse aide to do
everything else.
Will Medicare pay for his HOME physical therapy and occupational therapy,
or do they only pay if it's done in an inpatient SNF/ rehab facility.
I'm also wondering if he may want to stop the IV antibiotics, all the
lab tests, and all the future, (probably futile!) procedures they're
planning. I also know he will NOT want to wear diapers. IF he
ends up in a facility, there is definitely NOT enough staff to assist
him to a beside toilet.
He was okay (with his walker) at home and mostly independent.
He was still taking outdoor walks and doing chair exercises. Had
no problems with toileting, and still made his own meals (he's 91).
Getting in and out of the shower was getting harder for him,
but we got him a shower chair, a handrail, etc.
But the sepsis and being
in bed 24/7 has weakened him. The hospital is giving him
physical therapy twice a day, but it is very brief. If he's in bed
this much, are the therapies even going to help that much?
He is at such high risk for bedsores, and there is NO WAY
there will be enough staff to turn/reposition him every two hours
in a facility! *IF* my DH and could do it at home, we would, but
I can't. I'd also change diapers, but physically, I can't.
If he tells the doctors he no longer wants all of this, would he then
be considered hospice, and just get palliative ("comfort") end-of-life care? Does Medicare
pay for home hospice if the patient is NOT actually dying, but
just wants to stop everything?
