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Post by bunnyhug on Aug 29, 2022 0:05:24 GMT
My boys leave this week to head back to 'the city' for the fall semester. They live in a condo that dh and I bought last summer for that purpose, and are less than 2 hours away, door to door. Dd is the eldest but lives at home because her post-secondary program is at our small city's university/college/polytechnic (they've changed status three times in the last four years  ), so my nest is still far from empty. I'm thinking that my sons are worried that I'll miss them desperately when they leave ... so they are doing their best to completely bury their rooms in pop cans and chip bags, leave their entire wardrobes on the floor and/or wash stuff that's never actually left the laundry hamper, nightly empty out the snack cupboard, pile every pair of shoes they own in front of the door, and 'forget' to do outside yard chores until I've nagged them and then lost my shit ... so I'll be relieved when they finally move out and not miss them?! Aren't they thoughtful?!   (I just booked myself a yoga class staring in September ... I'll be needing a little zen by then!) |
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 29, 2022 0:10:28 GMT
My sons both moved out permanently on the same day. It was pretty quiet for a few months and then I loved it. Neither one brought food into their room, but they had a more challenging time picking up coats and clean laundry sat on their floor for a while.
I do remember reading a quote about kids being becoming teenagers in order for a parent to let them go.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Aug 29, 2022 0:11:10 GMT
Other then the food trash and shoes by the door, could you comfortably leave their rooms with THEIR mess?
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Post by Zee on Aug 29, 2022 0:18:44 GMT
My son moved out when he was 21. Having a spotless guest room for 2 years was lovely. But he's back for now and the pop cans and chip bags drive me INSANE. And, he's taken over both guest rooms and the 4th BR is DH office since 2020 work from home. I have no place nice for guests to stay.
We are having the basement finished into an inlaw suite so he or guests can go there eventually but he's just such a slob. Always has been.
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Post by bunnyhug on Aug 29, 2022 0:26:44 GMT
Other then the food trash and shoes by the door, could you comfortably leave their rooms with THEIR mess? đ It's been left all summer, but the rooms need to be clean/habitable for the fall and winter so that visiting grandparents, etc. don't have to sleep in young adult male-made disaster zones! My fingers are crossed that they get it all cleaned out before they leave, but I hoped that last year, too, and ended up with a full day cleaning extravaganza of their rooms/bathroom by me once they left ... because their version of 'done' and mine are a little different  |
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edie3
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,631 
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Post by edie3 on Aug 29, 2022 0:29:20 GMT
How sweet of them!
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ComplicatedLady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,083
Location: Valley of the Sun
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Post by ComplicatedLady on Aug 29, 2022 2:39:00 GMT
Ha!
So sweet!
Sounds like you may need a massage and facial in addition to the yoga classes!
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Post by malibou on Aug 29, 2022 6:52:05 GMT
My boys leave this week to head back to 'the city' for the fall semester. They live in a condo that dh and I bought last summer for that purpose, and are less than 2 hours away, door to door. Dd is the eldest but lives at home because her post-secondary program is at our small city's university/college/polytechnic (they've changed status three times in the last four years ), so my nest is still far from empty. I'm thinking that my sons are worried that I'll miss them desperately when they leave ... so they are doing their best to completely bury their rooms in pop cans and chip bags, leave their entire wardrobes on the floor and/or wash stuff that's never actually left the laundry hamper, nightly empty out the snack cupboard, pile every pair of shoes they own in front of the door, and 'forget' to do outside yard chores until I've nagged them and then lost my shit ... so I'll be relieved when they finally move out and not miss them?! Aren't they thoughtful?! (I just booked myself a yoga class staring in September ... I'll be needing a little zen by then!) When you go visit them, I recommend you do the bolded items at their house! đ |
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Post by peasapie on Aug 29, 2022 9:17:27 GMT
My boys leave this week to head back to 'the city' for the fall semester. They live in a condo that dh and I bought last summer for that purpose, and are less than 2 hours away, door to door. Dd is the eldest but lives at home because her post-secondary program is at our small city's university/college/polytechnic (they've changed status three times in the last four years ), so my nest is still far from empty. I'm thinking that my sons are worried that I'll miss them desperately when they leave ... so they are doing their best to completely bury their rooms in pop cans and chip bags, leave their entire wardrobes on the floor and/or wash stuff that's never actually left the laundry hamper, nightly empty out the snack cupboard, pile every pair of shoes they own in front of the door, and 'forget' to do outside yard chores until I've nagged them and then lost my shit ... so I'll be relieved when they finally move out and not miss them?! Aren't they thoughtful?! (I just booked myself a yoga class staring in September ... I'll be needing a little zen by then!) When you go visit them, I recommend you do the bolded items at their house! đ Hahaha I love it! |
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Post by mikklynn on Aug 29, 2022 11:57:15 GMT
My boys leave this week to head back to 'the city' for the fall semester. They live in a condo that dh and I bought last summer for that purpose, and are less than 2 hours away, door to door. Dd is the eldest but lives at home because her post-secondary program is at our small city's university/college/polytechnic (they've changed status three times in the last four years ), so my nest is still far from empty. I'm thinking that my sons are worried that I'll miss them desperately when they leave ... so they are doing their best to completely bury their rooms in pop cans and chip bags, leave their entire wardrobes on the floor and/or wash stuff that's never actually left the laundry hamper, nightly empty out the snack cupboard, pile every pair of shoes they own in front of the door, and 'forget' to do outside yard chores until I've nagged them and then lost my shit ... so I'll be relieved when they finally move out and not miss them?! Aren't they thoughtful?! (I just booked myself a yoga class staring in September ... I'll be needing a little zen by then!) When you go visit them, I recommend you do the bolded items at their house! đ DH and I had fun thinking of all the things we'd like to do at our DS's house! It was pretty much what is bolded. |
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Post by auntkelly on Aug 29, 2022 14:09:18 GMT
My boys leave this week to head back to 'the city' for the fall semester. They live in a condo that dh and I bought last summer for that purpose, and are less than 2 hours away, door to door. Dd is the eldest but lives at home because her post-secondary program is at our small city's university/college/polytechnic (they've changed status three times in the last four years ), so my nest is still far from empty. I'm thinking that my sons are worried that I'll miss them desperately when they leave ... so they are doing their best to completely bury their rooms in pop cans and chip bags, leave their entire wardrobes on the floor and/or wash stuff that's never actually left the laundry hamper, nightly empty out the snack cupboard, pile every pair of shoes they own in front of the door, and 'forget' to do outside yard chores until I've nagged them and then lost my shit ... so I'll be relieved when they finally move out and not miss them?! Aren't they thoughtful?! (I just booked myself a yoga class staring in September ... I'll be needing a little zen by then!) When you go visit them, I recommend you do the bolded items at their house! đ When my brother and I were teenagers my mom used to say all the time "Someday, you'll have a nice house and I'll come over and mess it up." When my brother and I were grown and had our own homes my brother and I used to tease my mom when she would come over for family gatherings. We'd say "keep an eye on Mom. Remember how she used to threaten to come over and mess up our houses? Don't let her out of your sight!" Mom was a pretty good sport about it. She'd smile and say "you think your toddlers are messy, but just wait until they are teens." She was right!  |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 29, 2022 15:06:03 GMT
My brother was like that and I ended up cleaning out his hoard every time he moved out (plus his disgusting, nasty bathroom too). I had no choice then, but as a parent I wouldnât tolerate it now.
Iâd be having a come to Jesus meeting with both of them before they go, letting them know that their mess MUST be cleaned up before they depart, or they can stay at the condo and fend for themselves next summer. My guess is that they wouldnât come home if there wasnât some underlying benefit for them to do so, so I would remind them that coming home to enjoy those benefits for the summer is a privilege and not a right.
Iâd hand them each a bag for trash and a box for recycling and tell them to have at it.
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Post by scrapmaven on Aug 29, 2022 15:28:19 GMT
I have two tornadoes, 'er boys. They are grown men, but when they come home my house looks like someone lit dynamite and ran. My mother never would have tolerated that. Our rooms had to be kept tidy and we weren't allowed to leave our junk all over the house. Where did I go wrong? I am very curious to see how your sons keep their condo? One of my sons is a total slob here, but when he's not at home he's totally organized and clean.  |
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Post by bunnyhug on Aug 29, 2022 15:40:22 GMT
When I went up to the condo this summer after older ds moved home, he assured me that he had cleaned it all up and it would be great for me to stay in while I spent a few days in the city ... again, the difference in 'done' for ds and I was highlighted  I spent about an hour picking up all the empty cans, washing the floors, and wiping down the bathrooms. And then I called ds to ask how it was possible that he had been cleaning all year but the toilet brushes were still in plastic wrapping  All things considered, I guess the place looked better than it could have! I just don't understand how they can cope with such a mess ... and I know who raised them and how! They were great at doing chores/tidying up when they were little, but I think the pandemic and having to be at home and do their grade 11/12 years online in their rooms hit some kind of reset button, because it's been a rough couple years. Maybe they really are genuinely being thoughtful and don't want me to miss them too much in September ... I just wish they were a little less caring and considerate in that way  |
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5littlebugs
New Member
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Post by 5littlebugs on Aug 29, 2022 15:46:53 GMT
We are straddling the "empty nest". Three of the "littles" (26, 22, and 20) have rooms filled with stuff here. The oldest is a travel nurse, blows in at least once a month, does some wardrobe switches, and takes off again. But her last visit she left a clean room and a made bed. I was stunned to not have to toss left out stuff back into her room. And bonus - lots of good books to read! The middle is trying out living with her beau while finishing her last semester of college (online) just under 2 hours away. She left 2 weeks ago, has been home once for a visit and currently laying in her bed recovering from a septoplasty last Friday. She was so sweet - until yesterday. And I feel like I am constantly picking up after her. But I am giving her a pass since she can't do too much. I will say, it burns me up when I hear how much cleaning she is doing at the beau's apt - because she can't stand a mess.  The youngest I know is still alive - I have the credit card bills. He is less than an hour to his apt at college. He popped in 2x last month - to switch cars before traveling around the country. We also helped move him last month and came home with tons of laundry. When he does grace us with his presence, there is usually a roommate or two with him, and I do get to see everything he snacked on when I go to clean the downstairs living area. I'm so blessed. I've heard that he keeps his room clean - but the kitchen is another issue at his apt. Another mom and I split a housekeeper for those two areas (they have 4 living in a 4 bedroom 4 1/2 bath townhouse). When we visit, we want to visit, not clean, not complain about them cleaning, just visit. I'm shocked how quick we got used to is just me, hubs and the dogs. |
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Post by christine58 on Aug 29, 2022 16:02:15 GMT
When I went up to the condo this summer after older ds moved home, he assured me that he had cleaned it all up and it would be great for me to stay in while I spent a few days in the city ... again, the difference in 'done' for ds and I was highlighted I spent about an hour picking up all the empty cans, washing the floors, and wiping down the bathrooms. And then I called ds to ask how it was possible that he had been cleaning all year but the toilet brushes were still in plastic wrapping All things considered, I guess the place looked better than it could have! I just don't understand how they can cope with such a mess ... and I know who raised them and how! They were great at doing chores/tidying up when they were little, but I think the pandemic and having to be at home and do their grade 11/12 years online in their rooms hit some kind of reset button, because it's been a rough couple years. Maybe they really are genuinely being thoughtful and don't want me to miss them too much in September ... I just wish they were a little less caring and considerate in that way Nope they are being disrespectful of both your homes. |
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Post by ghislaine on Aug 30, 2022 19:38:55 GMT
I'd be so, so tempted to find their car keys or something and hold them hostage until the rooms were returned to their prior condition.  |
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
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Location: Northern Virginia
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Aug 30, 2022 19:53:38 GMT
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Post by workingclassdog on Aug 30, 2022 21:04:41 GMT
I kinda wish my oldest would be super thoughtful and able to move out.. lol..
He was gone for seven years in the military and lived another year on his own. Then moved back home...sigh... I honestly don't mind he is home.. DH is gone six-eight weeks at a time so having DS there to help out on things is nice. I just wished we had a bit bigger house... lol.. I have lost my craft room three times now. It's a love/hate thing.. HAHA.. Good thing he is a good kid.
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), so my nest is still far from empty. 
I spent about an hour picking up all the empty cans, washing the floors, and wiping down the bathrooms. And then I called ds to ask how it was possible that he had been cleaning all year but the toilet brushes were still in plastic wrapping 
All things considered, I guess the place looked better than it could have!
