S/o: Coordinated pallbearers

So what were the two colors? LOL

Yes, I've seen it done. The family will request that the people wear the deceased's favorite colors, or their school colors, etc. I wouldn't go out and buy something special, but I would try to find something in my closet to wear. 

When my FIL died, the pallbearers were his golfing buddies. We asked them to wear golf attire. No specific colors. I think they were just glad they didn’t have to wear a suit.

My husband wants everyone to wear Hawaiian shirts for his.

Suggesting a theme, color or style, isn’t very common here, but I’ve seen it. (Like wearing Vikings colors/clothing for a big fan)

Coordinating pallbearers and particularly honorary pallbearers is something I haven’t seen or heard of around here. (And my FIL is still alive and doing well even though 15 staff and residents have Covid on his wing), so we won’t be buying any black pants or white shirts soon.

Yep, my DSO wants the same thing. 

I haven't been to a funeral where anyone has asked for specific colours to be worn. But to one funeral, for a colleague, I wore his football team's colours and football scarf. 

I'm sorry about your dad kaycee. 

I've been to many "themed" memorials. The specific attire is always a suggestion though, not a request. As in "please wear such-and-such if you would like..." I've been to a sports-themed one -- the deceased loved all sports although his favorite was the Washington Redskins (back when they were called the Redskins) so there was a lot of that. I wore my Steelers jersey because he and I had had many discussions over the years about the Redskins vs. the Steelers. haha.  I've also been to a couple where people wore the deceased's favorite color. I remember one whose favorite was kelly green which is NOT a color that's in my closet. lol. So I went to Goodwill and found a jacket-type thing in that color. Gave it back to Goodwill after the memorial. 

I’m not a fan of themed funeral wear and I’m glad it’s not a trend where I live.

I think themed funeral attire is often one family member’s idea that they force on others at a very difficult time. I had a friend who lost her mother. She and her husband and two sons were very close to her mother, and were with her throughout her illness. Her brother and sister in law and their two boys lived far away and rarely visited my friend’s mom, even when they knew she had a terminal illness. (Money was no problem for these people).

When my friend’s mom died she was devastated. The sister in law flew in and became involved in the funeral plans and acted as if she were planning a red carpet event. She insisted all the male relatives wear pink ties since that was Gran’s favorite color. My friends husband and sons wore the pink ties just to go with the flow, but to this day they resent being asked to wear pink ties. They thought it was silly and something that their Gran would have never asked her grandsons to do.

I’m a huge Oklahoma Sooners fan. I’m leaving for the game in a few minutes. It’s a part of my life that I hope they mention at my funeral, but I don’t want anyone to feel like they need to wear an OU shirt at my funeral. Just come and remember me in any way you want.

Where’s the coordinating pallbearer thread? Kinda curious about that one. I’ve had a few family members request people wear a favorite color and one who requested Hawaiian shirts. I don’t think anyone expects anyone to buy something - mine certainly didn’t. I don’t happen to own a Hawaiian shirt so wore a bright color in the spirit of the request. I think some like to see a sea of their loved ones favorite color/team etc instead of somber black.

Ive seen general request for bright colors or anything except black, but not specific colors.

4 years or so ago, there was a local softball player/umpire who passed away in his 30s. The softball community is very tight-knit. His mom requested everyone to wear a softball jersey, especially one that was from a team he had been part of. It was perfect. A group of us were standing outside the funeral home, which is at a very busy intersection. A lot of people driving by were staring at us. Im sure they were trying to figure out why we were dressed that way.

I think it is certainly up to the family to decide.  I am not sure if this is just a stating of facts for you or if you find it distasteful that people would wear anything other than formal wear to a funeral?  Not that it matters…I am just curious.

I have seen farmers show up right out of the field.  That to me was heart pull, someone took time that they did not have to come and honor someone.  Some may not find that to be enough, meaning if they do not dress a certain way there is no respect.  I tend to, usually, think of it the opposite.  They could have easily skipped going because of life situations but instead did what they could to offer their condolences and give their respect. It is all how you look at things I guess…not that one is right or wrong, just different.

Good Lord, this made me cry. As you said, it’s all how you look at things. 

When my sister died she was a member of the school board and all her kids were is sports and she very rarely missed a game. We said wearing school colors or attire would be welcome. Since many that attended were local it was pretty easy. It was not an expectation, rather a way to honor my sister. The guys from the football team offered my nephews their high school jersey number to wear at the wake. It meant a lot for them to wear their jersey one more time for mom.

When my dad died we asked the pall bearers, his grandsons to wear blue. One had a suit, one wore a sweater, one a polo shirt and the rest blue dress shirts. We asked if they had something and all except my son did. He said he would go buy something quick. Blue is a pretty common color to have in your wardrobe, so it was not a big deal. My sister, dad's wife and I all had a combo of red and black. Dad was buried in a red and black western shirt. That was more of a coincidence, but we felt a bit more connected that day.