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Post by smalltowngirlie on Sept 20, 2022 18:54:52 GMT
Quick bit of history - been with your company over 8 years. Work has always been satisfactory or better, not perfect, but nothing you would be fired for. So you go to your boss/supervisor and express how overwhelmed and stressed out you are feeling. You make the comment "Maybe this isn't the job for me". Their response , "Maybe it's not"
Would you see this as your boss supporting your personal analysis, or saying maybe you need to find something different.
ETA - this is not me, but someone I am close to. They have a good relationship with the boss, and have considered each other close work friends and done things outside of work together.
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Post by mnmloveli on Sept 20, 2022 18:57:48 GMT
Both. Confirming that since you feel this job isn’t for you, you need to start looking for something else.
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Post by ~summer~ on Sept 20, 2022 18:58:41 GMT
Both.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,640
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Sept 20, 2022 19:14:32 GMT
Hm. I would hope my boss would say "of course it is; let's figure out some ways to make it work better." But I guess they're saying "maybe it's really just not the right fit anymore."
How friendly are you with the boss?
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
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Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Sept 20, 2022 19:24:17 GMT
I would think you might need to look for a new job.
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Sept 20, 2022 19:24:47 GMT
Hm. I would hope my boss would say "of course it is; let's figure out some ways to make it work better." But I guess they're saying "maybe it's really just not the right fit anymore." How friendly are you with the boss? This is not me, but someone I am close to. They certainly did not expect their boss to beg them to stay, but really felt kind of rejected that they could so easily say, yeah, your are right.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,084
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Sept 20, 2022 19:25:37 GMT
Neither and/or both.
Maybe they were surprised by what you said.
Maybe counseling you just then was more than they could handle. You need support. They did not recognize that or did and took the easy path.
The question is now, what do you want? The ball is now in your court to repair or retreat. It sounds like you are just having a bad day, and this is an anomaly in this job.
If you like your job, recommit, turn the conversation into something that makes you look good, and say something like, “Thank you for letting me vent. I appreciate your perspective and support. Just a bad day and time to move forward!”
Or ignore it for a bit and see what happens.
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Post by epeanymous on Sept 20, 2022 19:30:31 GMT
Quick bit of history - been with your company over 8 years. Work has always been satisfactory or better, not perfect, but nothing you would be fired for. So you go to your boss/supervisor and express how overwhelmed and stressed out you are feeling. You make the comment "Maybe this isn't the job for me". Their response , "Maybe it's not" Would you see this as your boss supporting your personal analysis, or saying maybe you need to find something different. I think "the amount of work that I am handling is not manageable, and I think I will perform better on my tasks if we scale back my workload" is a completely reasonable thing to say to your boss. Possibly even "I'm feeling overwhelmed right now," although I would want to have a concrete ask that comes with that. "Maybe this isn't the job for me" is to me something you would say to a friend, not a supervisor or boss; if I'm supervising someone, to me, that calls for more of an interpersonal than a professional response, which may be why the boss responded as they did. They just may not have had a good workplace response. That said, I think "yeah, maybe you should look for someone else" is a pretty reasonable interpretation of what the boss said as well, and I'd start looking around.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,018
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Sept 20, 2022 19:38:02 GMT
Ouch. I would start looking for other options.
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Post by christine58 on Sept 20, 2022 19:45:54 GMT
hey have a good relationship with the boss, and have considered each other close work friends and done things outside of work together. Well there's the first mistake. Work bosses are not people to do things with outside of work SO this person either asks why she got that response or start looking for a new job
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,586
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
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Post by pinklady on Sept 20, 2022 19:48:11 GMT
Your friend opened the door for her boss to be honest and the boss was honest. They both know your friend is not the right person for the job and she should start looking for a new job as soon as possible.
A person doesn't have to be a bad/unsatisfactory worker for a boss to say this. It can be just a simple as not a good fit for the work/team/future direction.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
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Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
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Post by CeeScraps on Sept 20, 2022 19:57:32 GMT
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Post by busy on Sept 20, 2022 20:04:06 GMT
No way for strangers to know which meaning was intended, or both, or something else. Your friend needs to talk to the boss.
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Post by papersilly on Sept 20, 2022 20:09:18 GMT
time to touch up that resume
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Sept 20, 2022 20:12:43 GMT
time to touch up that resume They are, and not just because of this.
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Sept 20, 2022 20:20:00 GMT
hey have a good relationship with the boss, and have considered each other close work friends and done things outside of work together. Well there's the first mistake. Work bosses are not people to do things with outside of work SO this person either asks why she got that response or start looking for a new job I have always heard you cannot be friends with people you supervise. I truly believe that. I think the only time they should do things outside of work is if it is still kind of work related. Meal together to celebrate a project getting done or something like that. I have had conversations with my boss about professional boundaries. We both agree we like who we work with and we all get along, but understand it is a working relationship and once one of us is no longer working there, there is no expectation of a continuing relationship. That is just the way it is.
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oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,011
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
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Post by oh yvonne on Sept 20, 2022 20:27:29 GMT
time to touch up that resume They are, and not just because of this. my knee jerk is that your friend is a complainer and the boss is done hearing it. I'd say to your friend time to look for another job, and in the meantime, stop complaining and work as diligently as they can w/out complaining. I'd also suggest that they find a solution to their issues on their own and present their new way of handling to the boss and see how that is taken, they might be pleasantly surprised.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
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Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
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Post by Rhondito on Sept 20, 2022 20:42:30 GMT
my knee jerk is that your friend is a complainer and the boss is done hearing it. I was thinking along these same lines. The boss' response signals to me that they don't want to put in the effort to beg your friend to stay or work with him/her to improve their work situation.
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Post by powderhorngreen on Sept 20, 2022 20:42:48 GMT
If one of my employees said that to me, I would respond in a similar fashion. The employee didn't come to me with a problem and possible solution. That employee did not open the door for discussion. That employee simply told me they don't want to be there. There is little benefit at that point for me to try and retain them - I am most likely just buying a headache at that point if I tried.
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Post by Lexica on Sept 20, 2022 21:12:54 GMT
First, no matter how friendly I felt I was with my boss, I would never ever express that I felt perhaps I wasn't up to doing my job anymore, even if it was the truth. I think there are other ways their frustration and feelings of being overwhelmed could have been phrased rather than maybe the job was not a good fit any longer. That just leaves the door wide open to replace you since they themselves expressed it first.
Is the stress coming solely from the job itself or are there other contributing factors arising from this person's personal life? If it is just the job, the optimal way to have approached it would have been to go into the boss's office to state the problems, but also to offer up numerous possible solutions. My father always told me to never bring a problem to my boss without bringing multiple solutions with me. Yes, it is the boss's job to figure out an answer, but if you come forward with some possible solutions yourself, it takes the sting out of the complaint. You want to show you are a team player and are not just complaining but looking for ways to improve the situation.
What did this person hope to get out of the conversation with their boss? Do they want fewer responsibilities? Fewer hours? Change of department? Or do they really think they are no longer a good fit for the company? It is always best to go in knowing what you would like to happen and then doing all you can to make that be the end result.
Just an FYI, my dad also taught me to always give 110% to any job I ever did. The 100% is because that is what your paycheck is for. The extra 10% is your "job insurance" policy. We have insurance on our health, our cars, our lives, our homes, etc. But our jobs are really one of the most important factors in our lives and what makes everything else possible.
You don't want to be the first name that comes to mind when layoffs are imminent. Giving that extra 10% means not getting up and walking out the door second the clock signals quitting time. And always try to get to your job early. Even if you go get your coffee to drink at your desk, read the newspaper, or eat some breakfast, do it from your desk and finish up so that you are ready to begin working when the job starts. Volunteer for assignments that are less than exciting but need to be done. Put forth that extra effort. Show that you value your job and want to be there.
I have worked with people that show up a few minutes after starting time, then spend the next 15 to 20 minutes getting coffee, going to the bathroom, toasting their bagel, visiting with coworkers in the lunch room, etc. They were never ready to start working when the rest of us were. Sure, they were in the building, but not working. And that was always the person that left a few minutes early every day too. And undoubtedly that will be the person whose name pops into the boss's mind when they need to cut jobs.
Dad owned his own business and I would hear him talking to my mom about some of his employees - both good comments and bad. I learned a lot.
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Post by hopechest on Sept 20, 2022 21:18:00 GMT
my knee jerk is that your friend is a complainer and the boss is done hearing it. I was thinking along these same lines. The boss' response signals to me that they don't want to put in the effort to beg your friend to stay or work with him/her to improve their work situation.
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Post by peasapie on Sept 20, 2022 22:02:58 GMT
I guess that response means the boss thinks it’s a reasonable amount of work and knows it won’t change, and feels that if the employee doesn’t agree then perhaps it truly isn’t the right job for them.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Sept 20, 2022 22:06:22 GMT
Yah sounds like your friend may have been thinking out loud and the boss just supported what they said. I wouldn't take it as the boss thinks your friend isn't doing a decent job.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Sept 20, 2022 22:26:56 GMT
my knee jerk is that your friend is a complainer and the boss is done hearing it. I was thinking along these same lines. The boss' response signals to me that they don't want to put in the effort to beg your friend to stay or work with him/her to improve their work situation. I think the friend could benefit from self care and counseling. Sounds like this is more than just "unhappy with work", sounds like it goes deeper than that. Your friend sound like she is emotionally and mentally unhappy, unfulfilled and out of sorts. Work is probably not the only thing that your friend is struggling with. When someone is unhappy and struggling within their core foundation of themselves, it affects everything in their life (home, friendship, work, relationships, etc...). It sounds like your friends aura and personal atmosphere is negative. What the friend sees at venting and communicating, may be perceived by someone else as whining and complaining, always negative.
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schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,030
Jun 28, 2014 0:26:58 GMT
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Post by schizo319 on Sept 20, 2022 22:33:58 GMT
It sounds like the boss maybe saw the conversation as a manipulation and he's calling your friend's bluff.
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Post by compeateropeator on Sept 20, 2022 23:54:08 GMT
I do not totally agree with this. There certainly may be situations where this is true but I have always ended up friends with my bosses/supervisor. I also ended up having to manage my best friend because upper management moved her department to my group. It can be done.
It is hard not to become friends with people you have worked with for a lot of years and who you like. 🤷🏻♀️
In fact I am on vacation with a great friend who was my manager at the company I worked for 20 years ago(I worked there for 15 years).
ETA - for your question I would say both. But I would certainly suggest they have an honest and frank conversation with their boss to determine their next step.
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Post by chaosisapony on Sept 21, 2022 2:13:38 GMT
That means they agree the person isn't able to perform up to the expectations of the job and they should start looking for work elsewhere.
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,882
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
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Post by tracylynn on Sept 21, 2022 4:25:04 GMT
I think it's hard to know without knowing more about how often your friend complains about struggling, etc.
If I were her I would really evaluate and either refocus or start looking for a new job.
As to those that say you can't be friends with your boss/employee ... I think that's simply not true across the board. I'm the head of my Department and about 18 months ago she wished to transfer to work under me. We had a pretty serious, honest conversation about what that looks like. I'm not a bitch boss, but I have high expectations and mostly I expect people to do their jobs, stay on task and don't make me micro manage you. It's been going well, no issues. I can be honest with her and her me. And it doesn't affect our friendship.
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Post by disneypal on Sept 21, 2022 13:48:45 GMT
Would you see this as your boss supporting your personal analysis, or saying maybe you need to find something di If my boss said it to me, I would think they were saying maybe it is time you look for something else. Considering the person has been on the job 8 years and for the most part has done a good job, it seems the boss would offer a bit more support, such as "I'm sorry you are feeling overwhelmed, however that does come with the job at times"
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Sept 22, 2022 12:09:01 GMT
Would you see this as your boss supporting your personal analysis, or saying maybe you need to find something di If my boss said it to me, I would think they were saying maybe it is time you look for something else. Considering the person has been on the job 8 years and for the most part has done a good job, it seems the boss would offer a bit more support, such as "I'm sorry you are feeling overwhelmed, however that does come with the job at times" I really think that is what they were looking for. They certainly did not expect the boss to beg them to stay, but rather acknowledge the feelings and maybe work together to come up with a solution. We all can get overwhelmed at times and can use some support. I think the boss thought they were being supportive, but it juts did not come out right. This is also their busy time of year, but this year it has really been a hard one.
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