huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,262
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Sept 22, 2022 15:43:07 GMT
What a great post! It is good that you can look at this objectively!
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Post by tentoes on Sept 22, 2022 16:01:35 GMT
I am glad you are doing so well. I love your positive attitude. You go girl!! Time to make new memories.
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 22, 2022 16:48:56 GMT
You are in a very healthy place. You are indeed thriving. Reading your post made me smile.
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Post by lurker on Sept 22, 2022 17:41:41 GMT
I'm proving to myself and others that I'll do this and I'll not only make it work, I will thrive. Yay you! Such a positive post. I still think your stbx is a dick:(
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Post by gramasue on Sept 22, 2022 18:58:55 GMT
Before you know it, this date will pass you by without you having given it a thought. You'll be too busy making wonderful new memories!
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Post by auntkelly on Sept 22, 2022 19:18:09 GMT
You have a great attitude!
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 23, 2022 3:47:34 GMT
Whatever you are doing to get into this place, keep doing it. I am happy for you, but I do feel for your kids. Not sure what he is thinking by alienating them the way he is, but maybe that will make it easier for them in the end? Who knows. I just wonder how long it will take him to realize that the magical place he is going isn't worth the pain he brought to his family.
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finaledition
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,896
Jun 26, 2014 0:30:34 GMT
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Post by finaledition on Sept 23, 2022 4:47:03 GMT
I just wanted to comment that you have come an incredibly long way in a relatively short period of time. I believe on some earlier posts you had multiple people comment that things would get better/easier and I’m sure it didn’t seem like a possibility at the time. But LOOK AT YOU! Congratulate yourself by getting this far, you paid with a lot of anger and tears, but you should be so proud.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Sept 23, 2022 8:18:52 GMT
There is so much peace in no longer being in a bad marriage. You deserve it.
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Post by mollycoddle on Sept 23, 2022 11:05:37 GMT
You ARE in a good place, and you have found your strength. Sure, there will be challenges ahead, but you will meet them and defeat them. And you dodged a bullet. Growing old with an unsupportive alcoholic is no way to live. Good for you!
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Post by hop2 on Sept 23, 2022 11:39:29 GMT
Your doing great. Better than I was. It took me years to get to that point. And for several years I did wish I had not married him.
Anyway, I’m so glad your content. It’s a good place to be. And I’m glad your kids see him for who he is. I wish you great contentment, & happiness. Hugs
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 24, 2022 14:11:30 GMT
Can we get a count down for move out day for the EX?
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 24, 2022 14:14:02 GMT
Can we get a count down for move out day for the EX? if I had one, I'd totally give you one. I assumed he'd be out by the 1st. He hasn't packed anything as far as I know. He'll likely pack while I'm at work so I don't see what he has taken.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Sept 24, 2022 14:33:32 GMT
Make sure you put away, take out personal things you want. You would be surprised at the evil things men do. One of my friends dh's took all the photo albums. One of them took HER grandmother's coffee table. just dumb things.
You sound really good!! So glad you are doing better!
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 24, 2022 14:33:42 GMT
Can we get a count down for move out day for the EX? if I had one, I'd totally give you one. I assumed he'd be out by the 1st. He hasn't packed anything as far as I know. He'll likely pack while I'm at work so I don't see what he has taken. I am sure that will be a new adjustment for you to make, but will likely get over that quickly. Did you already have to go over the list of who is taking what?
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,583
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Sept 24, 2022 15:48:46 GMT
Wow, you are so wise! And handling life like a badass. Perfectly said. Congrats to you, and may your well-earned peace and happiness abound!
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Post by epeanymous on Sept 24, 2022 17:58:43 GMT
You have gotten through one of the harder things in life and ended up in a beautiful place.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Sept 24, 2022 20:52:26 GMT
realistically, for the kids alone, i cannot regret my time with him.
but 3.5 yrs out, i am happier than i can remember being. i have created an amazing life. i just started a new job in my old field making more money than i thought i could get....i love it and feel fulfilled and appreciated, i have created a lovely, cozy (rental) home for our kids decorated how i like it with photos of our lives together on the walls, i am in a healthy relationship with someone who adores me and i know who my friends are, i have cut out any extraneous dead weight out of my life. i.am.happy.
my ex still seems to be miserable and blaming everyone else for it. we split and i found happiness, yet he is not, makes you wonder what the problem was??? he always made me feel like if *i* had just (fill in the blank) - things would be better. well i did fill in the blanks and things ARE better.
wishing you peace and the wonderful future you deserve.
(adding, i still miss my house, it's around the corner from our rental and i have to see it all the time, sometimes it stings, but mostly it doesn't)
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 24, 2022 22:42:59 GMT
if I had one, I'd totally give you one. I assumed he'd be out by the 1st. He hasn't packed anything as far as I know. He'll likely pack while I'm at work so I don't see what he has taken. I am sure that will be a new adjustment for you to make, but will likely get over that quickly. Did you already have to go over the list of who is taking what? no because the judge hasn't given us percentages yet
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Post by Lexica on Sept 24, 2022 23:27:11 GMT
I love that you are in such a great place. Knowing that you can come through this and shine, you now know you can get through pretty much anything life throws at you.
You are setting a fantastic example for your kids too. I hope the ex moves out soon and doesn't take anything he is not entitled to take when he does. I've heard so many horror stories of disgruntled exes using their moving out to inflict that last little bit of pain on their partner. I would be a good idea to take photos of all of your rooms, closets, yards, etc. so you can prove they are in terrific shape now.
My cousin's ex totally trashed her house when he had to move out. He waited until she was at work like you are thinking yours may do. He took a sledge hammer to the walls, poured dry cement down the drains, poured something all over the plants and grass in both the front and back yards and that killed them within a couple of days. He also poured dry cement and cans of paint into the pool.
He cut up her clothing and took the photo albums of her kids. They weren't even his children either, they were from her first marriage! He was just so angry that she was divorcing him. The house was hers when she married him so his name wasn't on it. He just wanted to hurt her as much as possible as he went out the door. She sued him, of course, but he quit his job and slept on family member's couches all over the states for years. He had no assets for her to attach and every time she found him working somewhere, he would quit. They did buy a boat together, so half of that would have been his asset, but he destroyed that too. She never did get anything out of him.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 25, 2022 20:43:19 GMT
I am sure that will be a new adjustment for you to make, but will likely get over that quickly. Did you already have to go over the list of who is taking what? no because the judge hasn't given us percentages yet Will the judge get that done before he moves?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 2:38:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2022 0:01:34 GMT
freecharlie : You WILL feel better and better!!! Now when I speak to my ex, I cringe! Our 40th wedding anniversary is coming up, and, like you, I LOVED my wedding, I loved feeling in love and loved the whole marriage idea, etc........., but he didn't turn out to be the person I thought he was. I'm sure he felt the same way about me. It felt very freeing to leave that relationship. I had no qualms about it at all, and we were together for 30 years before the divorce was finalized. I miss my beautiful house and living in that precious neighborhood, but I don't miss being in that relationship.
I hope that you will continue to find your own path and build on the renewed strength you're finding. xoxo
P.S.: When I met and instantly fell for my 2nd husband (I NEVER thought I'd even date again, and he popped into my life and that was that!!!), I saw what pure, honest, true love was. He was the most precious man, the most precious person I had ever known. I was blessed to have had that time with him, and it made me see the difference between a real, true, honest, pure love and a relationship that fit in my life at the right time. Huge difference.
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Post by scrapnatya on Sept 26, 2022 0:08:29 GMT
I'm so happy that you are doing well!
Today would have been my 29th anniversary. We've been divorced for almost 2 years and I'm thrilled not to be married to him anymore but I did feel like I just wanted to tell someone that it was my former anniversary today.
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Post by heckofagal on Sept 29, 2022 14:16:03 GMT
I love that you are in a good place even on such a tough day. Keep thriving girl! Your kids will be so proud of you and your EX will realize how badly he messed up and you will be living your best life!
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