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Post by freecharlie on Sept 22, 2022 3:08:26 GMT
I've thought about it on and off all day and probably for a week leading up to it.
I feel...content. the only anger I feel towards him is for our kids (he won't even help pay for the younger one's vehicle repair (it's fine, I'll cover it).
I'm not sad. I don't wish our marriage never happened. (I did think that he was going to pack today and start moving, but he went golfing instead. I was excited for him to get out)
I still love my house, that isn't going to change, but it isn't on the market yet as we still don't have the final settlement.
I loved our wedding. I loved our lives. I loved our family.
I love my extended family. And of course I love our children.
I wouldn't change much in our marriage (his alcoholism would have been nice to not have and of course the cheating) as it gave me the memories.
My kids are still pissed. My kids remember their dad being a deadbeat (and maybe he was, I took care of everything so he didn't have to). They remember him not being supportive.
I remember our good times as a family and smile.
But...I sleep better now. No snoring. No drunk sleeping next to me. I do the same things I used0 to do, but there is no bitterness that he isn't helping.
I'm proving to myself and others that I'll do this and I'll not only make it work, I will thrive.
(Angela Montengro~Bones)
My life is full and good.
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Post by fiddlesticks on Sept 22, 2022 3:14:59 GMT
What a good place you are in!!! I hope your kids find some peace in it, whatever that may mean for them.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 22, 2022 3:16:23 GMT
You are doing so well!
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Post by callmenutz on Sept 22, 2022 3:17:50 GMT
I am so happy for you that you have found peace and contentment!
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Post by lucyg on Sept 22, 2022 3:18:12 GMT
CONGRATULATIONS!! On your life being good, not on the 20th anniversary. I’m so glad you have a grip on this. You will be so much happier in the long run.
I got married on my parents’ 28th wedding anniversary. Two years later, my parents split up. Thirteen years after that, my husband was killed.
Both of my parents remarried eventually and both seemed happier in the end. I did not remarry, but life is good, all the same.
These days, my mom and I call each other on “our” anniversary and commiserate. Good-humored commiseration.
Hang in there.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,798
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 22, 2022 3:56:09 GMT
Happy day for you. I love how at peace with it all you sound. I'm also SUPER proud of how far you've come in this journey. Give yourself a pat on the back and have a peaceful evening.
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Post by Merge on Sept 22, 2022 4:00:37 GMT
I’m so happy for you! You deserve all the good things.
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Post by quinlove on Sept 22, 2022 4:40:23 GMT
Hold your head high. You made it through the chaos with class and grace. You have much to be proud of.
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Post by AussieMeg on Sept 22, 2022 4:57:10 GMT
It makes me sooooo happy to read this: My life is full and good.  |
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,022
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Sept 22, 2022 4:58:13 GMT
The word that stands out to me from your post is love and that is why you are going to be just fine.
May the road ahead be filled love, laughter and adventure.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,366
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Sept 22, 2022 5:06:25 GMT
I love this. You’re so right, you can do this.
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Post by silverlining on Sept 22, 2022 5:22:42 GMT
Wow, you are so wise! And handling life like a badass.
And you're patient. Much more patient than I would be. I'd probably throw the ex's stuff on the lawn and change the locks by now.
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Post by malibou on Sept 22, 2022 5:41:37 GMT
Your life update makes my heart happy for you. You have handle this whole thing with such grace and humour. Way to set the bar high.
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Post by elaine on Sept 22, 2022 10:15:09 GMT
I’m so glad that I took the time to read your post this morning before work. It put a literal smile on my face.
You are so strong and healthy. You have come so far this year. And yes, you not only can, but you *are* doing it!
🥰🥰🥰
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 22, 2022 10:59:37 GMT
I'm so glad you are happy to be moving on. I wish you nothing but good things ahead!
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Sept 22, 2022 11:00:53 GMT
You are in such a good place right now. Even with the fact he hasn’t moved out, the incomplete settlement, and the rest… you are fine because you have a really healthy approach to it all. So proud of you.
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Post by cakediva on Sept 22, 2022 11:52:23 GMT
I am happy to hear this for you - here's hoping it is all finally settled soon!
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,153
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Sept 22, 2022 11:54:58 GMT
I love hearing the strength in your post. Hopefully the rest is settled soon so you can completely move on.
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Post by kitkath on Sept 22, 2022 12:26:45 GMT
What a wonderful perspective on life. You are so right.
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Post by peasapie on Sept 22, 2022 12:41:52 GMT
You are doing so great with all of this — I’m sure your kids admire the way you have handled all of it. I can’t help but see myself 20 years ago as I read your adventures. My marriage to a man who was regularly unfaithful and unpresent ended and I turned a new page in life. No regrets — like you I have great kids and now have a new life, full of love with a warm and faithful man. You have handled this admirably and honestly all the way through.
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lisaknits
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,483 
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Post by lisaknits on Sept 22, 2022 12:45:14 GMT
What a great update! You have come so far on this journey and your strength is shining through. Keep on keeping on!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 0:24:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2022 12:45:30 GMT
I'm proving to myself and others that I'll do this and I'll not only make it work, I will thrive.
This…1,000 times this.
I too feel sorry for your kids. But they see who their dad is. Let him hang himself with his choices and behavior.
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Post by sabrinae on Sept 22, 2022 12:48:59 GMT
This mightnn be sound weird, but I’m so proud of you and you should be proud of yourself. You’ve managed and thrived during a difficult year and come out of it in such a good place. When you have challenging days come back and read your post to celebrate what you have achieved. As far as your boys - they will have to learn to navigate whatever relationship they want with their dad or no relationship at all. That’s on your ex, he made his choices, he will have to live with them now.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,082
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Sept 22, 2022 12:58:42 GMT
Sending you hugs and positive thoughts!!!
You got this
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Post by Restless Spirit on Sept 22, 2022 13:08:03 GMT
I’m so glad to see you are being kind to yourself. By owning the story of your marriage, acknowledging the good and the bad, you now have the power to move forward and write your next chapter. You have survived. Now it’s time to thrive.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 22, 2022 13:32:45 GMT
This is such a good update on what could have been a sad and depressing day. You are worlds away from where you were when this part of your story began! You’ve persevered through all of it and you are showing your kids how to live with grace through tough times. You’ve got this and it won’t be long now before he’s out the door for good.  |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,812
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Post by Just T on Sept 22, 2022 13:45:13 GMT
I love this update.  I'm glad you are doing well and feeling happy and are able to remember the good times you had. I see a great future for you! |
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Post by Sanibel on Sept 22, 2022 13:57:22 GMT
I love this new place your heart is in. 🥰
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Post by librarylady on Sept 22, 2022 14:34:50 GMT
And that is the best part. Enjoy the day even though there are memories you don't need today.
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Post by peace on Sept 22, 2022 14:36:39 GMT
I look at it like you made it a long ass time. Not many marriages make it as long as yours and you should feel good about keeping it together as long as you did.
Your kids know. You are doing SO well!!
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I'm glad you are doing well and feeling happy and are able to remember the good times you had. I see a great future for you! 
