bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,623
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
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Post by bethany102399 on Sept 29, 2022 13:50:14 GMT
I have a clear memory of asking for a fork so we could take the photo and my mother yelling at me to use my hands. The poor caterer was standing behind her with forks but I couldn't see. I'm sure to others it was just conversation, to me it was a public display of how my mother and I did not communicate well and her intense dislike of my then new DH. No way no how was there a garter, I didn't even wear one. I've had fat thighs my whole life and would have found it terribly uncomfortable.
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 5,972
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on Sept 29, 2022 13:53:51 GMT
I have a few friends who did this and they had fun. They are jokesters and love to have fun with each other. So it fit them and their relationship.
Dh and I just cut the first piece and then gave each other a piece off of our fork. No twisting arm thingy a lot do.
To each their own. 🤷♀️
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 5,972
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on Sept 29, 2022 13:54:40 GMT
Oh and I wore 2 garters. One to keep and one for dh to toss.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,538
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Sept 29, 2022 15:53:56 GMT
Married 26+ years, told DH no way and we didn't do it. (He didn't really care one way or the other, IIRC.)
We did do bouquet and garter, though I didn't have it wayyyy up there, lol.
What did piss me off was the DJ adding in a stupid thing about "OK, now that he's married, everyone who has a key to his place needs to turn it in!" And then maybe about 8 girls (who had all been given keys by the DJ, just to be clear!) all brought keys up. I was not amused. It wasn't that I thought they had keys, it was just that I thought it was insanely tacky.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,147
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Sept 29, 2022 16:25:44 GMT
I have never seen that happen in real life. Can you imagine spending $$ on having your hair and makeup done just to have cake on your face. I didn’t even have the conversation with my husband because it wasn’t a thing in my area at least. I did not have the garter thing or bouquet either.
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,020
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Sept 29, 2022 16:52:07 GMT
We did not do that. 1. We have too much respect for each other to do that. 2. I spent too much money on my makeup, hair and clothes for it to be ruined by a cake smash.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,955
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on Sept 29, 2022 17:31:23 GMT
Married 36 years and we didn't do the cake smash. I think we might have fed each other cake, but it was so long ago I really don't remember. I spent way too long on my makeup to have it ruined like that and I personally think it's very distasteful. I have never actually been to any wedding where the couple did that.
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Gem Girl
Pearl Clutcher
......
Posts: 2,682
Jun 29, 2014 19:29:52 GMT
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Post by Gem Girl on Sept 29, 2022 18:12:05 GMT
DH and I got married in Las Vegas so our wedding cake was PLASTIC! LOLOLOL! ;-)
We did have a sheet cake at our party when we got home. I think we may have fed each other cake ... It was 32 years ago so I can't be sure cause it wasn't a real formal reception. LOL! Every wedding we've ever attended we have talked about how rude and disrespectful the cake shove in the face is, so I KNOW we wouldn't have done that! (Which is probably why I don't even remember if we fed each other cake!) LOL!!! So along that line ... I think there should be a study done on rude cake shoves and divorces. LOL! My SIL and her EX each did a really rude cake shove! It started small and each took it a little further until it ended with her almost on the floor with cake ALL OVER her face. I think she may have even retaliated by throwing a piece back at him! (Again about 35 years ago! LOL) It was super awkward and not funny at all. They divorced about 5 or 6 years later. Then, they remarried and divorced again! That's funny! That would be interesting, wouldn't it?
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Post by pherena on Oct 1, 2022 15:50:27 GMT
I completely agree with you. My husband and I didn't start our marriage by smashing each other with cake, either. Like you, I would have found it humiliating and demeaning. I'm sure it's still done, judging by You Tube and "World's Funniest" television programs. It baffles me that it's a "tradition." I married my best friend, not my worst enemy.
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Post by malibou on Oct 1, 2022 16:01:44 GMT
Married 26+ years, told DH no way and we didn't do it. (He didn't really care one way or the other, IIRC.) We did do bouquet and garter, though I didn't have it wayyyy up there, lol. What did piss me off was the DJ adding in a stupid thing about "OK, now that he's married, everyone who has a key to his place needs to turn it in!" And then maybe about 8 girls (who had all been given keys by the DJ, just to be clear!) all brought keys up. I was not amused. It wasn't that I thought they had keys, it was just that I thought it was insanely tacky.Oh no! That is dreadfully tacky! I do not see humour in that at all.
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sueg
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,417
Location: Munich
Apr 12, 2016 12:51:01 GMT
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Post by sueg on Oct 1, 2022 16:07:22 GMT
What did piss me off was the DJ adding in a stupid thing about "OK, now that he's married, everyone who has a key to his place needs to turn it in!" And then maybe about 8 girls (who had all been given keys by the DJ, just to be clear!) all brought keys up. I was not amused. It wasn't that I thought they had keys, it was just that I thought it was insanely tacky. That is so tacky - I'd have been livid if that had happened at our wedding. We didn't do the cake thing. We were married almost 39 years ago, and it definitely wasn't a thing in Australia back then. We didn't feed each other cake at all - we linked arms to drink a champagne toast instead.
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Post by femalebusiness on Oct 1, 2022 16:35:06 GMT
I've seen it. Only trashy people do that.
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Oct 2, 2022 16:21:25 GMT
I've seen it. Only trashy people do that. I disagree. It can be cute if both the bride and groom have fun with it. I’ve been to weddings like that.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Oct 2, 2022 16:28:24 GMT
Absolutely not.
We went to a wedding where the bride fled in tears because her dh was such a jerk about the cake - shoving it all over her face. Disgusting.
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Post by femalebusiness on Oct 2, 2022 17:14:11 GMT
The people who do that are the same ones who get drunk and punch each other out when they get an audience like a bunch of wedding guests. Trashy.
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Post by auntkelly on Oct 2, 2022 17:40:26 GMT
Thankfully, I've never seen the cake shove done at any wedding I've attended.
I don't like practical jokes. However, if I was one who liked to play practical jokes and I knew for sure my spouse wouldn't mind being humiliated on our wedding day in front of family and friends, I would come up with something more original than the cake shove.
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Post by gorgeouskid on Oct 2, 2022 17:45:09 GMT
I told my husband that if he did that, I would divorce him. We used forks to feed one another a small bite. It's so disrespectful, especially if it is unplanned.
The only time I've seen it done was in about 1990, and the awful husband got bright blue frosting all over her dress. They didn't last a year.
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Post by leslie132 on Oct 2, 2022 19:10:42 GMT
We did! It may not be the way most couples work, but we managed to do the shove and still laugh about it 21 years later. I haven’t seen it done in a recently, but until this past summer I hadn’t been at a wedding in quite a while.
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luckyjune
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,687
Location: In the rainy, rainy WA
Jul 22, 2017 4:59:41 GMT
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Post by luckyjune on Oct 2, 2022 19:15:26 GMT
My mom was the wedding coordinator at our church for my entire growing up. I tagged along with her and went to A LOT of weddings as a kid. I remember being around 10 and watching the cake smash. I was horrified and made up my mind that would NEVER happen if I ever got married.
Fast forward 18 years. Now-DH and I were talking about cutting the cake. The cake smash was a big no way from both of us. Didn't do the garter. I forgot to throw my bouquet. During the ceremony, I put the ring on the wrong hand. Still married 30 years later.
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Post by Laurie on Oct 2, 2022 22:52:10 GMT
I think it is being done more because it makes a good tik tok video. We were married 22 years ago and I specifically asked dh to not make a mess all over my face.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,570
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Oct 2, 2022 22:58:37 GMT
Married 24 years, we didn't do it and I've never seen it done other than on tv/movies.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Oct 3, 2022 0:55:53 GMT
I have seen it done at weddings, but I hate it.
It most certainly was not done at either of my weddings (one in 1985 and one in 2011).
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Post by AussieMeg on Oct 3, 2022 1:42:50 GMT
I've been to plenty of weddings in my time, and been bridesmaid five times, and I have NEVER seen anyone do a wedding cake shove. Perhaps it never caught on here? Thank goodness, because I think it's bloody stupid.
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