Deleted
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Jun 26, 2024 10:14:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2014 22:35:05 GMT
Things aren't as bad as they were last year which was the first Christmas after my grandma died but this year is still a bit tough. If I felt better physically I would go volunteer but between the health issues and not having a car right now ( I totaled mine in October and am looking for a nice, used one right now) I can't go serve others. Serving always makes me happier and takes my mind off of my own problems.
It's just tough this time of the year not having family. With my mom and grandma gone and my dad possibly dead (who knows with him, I haven't heard from him since 2006 and seen him since 1989) and no brothers and sisters or a family of my own I struggle. I have been spending time with a few friends but it still stings.
If anyone else is struggling I just want you to know you are not alone. Sometimes it can feel that way. If you can physically go out and serve others I recommend it. If you have a lot of family, think about inviting someone to your family things who doesn't have family. It can make a world of difference.
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by YooHoot on Dec 5, 2014 22:47:16 GMT
Aww. I'm sorry. I still have family but they don't live nearby so I miss out on all the holiday stuff so I can somewhat sympathize with you (nowhere near your situation but still..). Big hugs.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Dec 5, 2014 22:50:00 GMT
(((hugs)))
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Post by janniepea on Dec 5, 2014 22:50:24 GMT
December is a hard month here too, my dad died on December 30, 2006 and my mom died on December 31, 2007. Now my mother-in-law and father-in-law are both struggling with major health problems. This time of year just isn't very kind. I'm sorry you're struggling too.
I'm thankful tho too for the hope that Christmas holds for me and for my family and friends who have been an encouragement through the hardest of times.
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by theshyone on Dec 5, 2014 22:51:29 GMT
I'm so sorry. This December is being rough on me too. I'm just sad. The little things are just overwhelming. Yesterday two different friends got their angel wings. One hard fought one totally unexpected. End of November another friend did something totally reprehensible to me that I'm having a hard time grieving him. He was drunk and killed himself and a very young mom in the other vehicle. I'm so pissed at him. Sunday night the kids overflowed the toilet and a good portion of our carpeted basement and stuff got soaked. Four different doctors appointments this week. My sister is in a long term care bed in a city an hour away  my mom is upset about it, in times of lucidity my sister is angry. My mom has not only my drug addicted niece living with her, but the father of drug addicted baby #2 and the father of drug addicted baby #1. (Both babies were drug addicted have numerous health issues and are in provincial care) My mom and I are barely speaking. My teen daughter is angry all the time. She is finally admitting to how shitty a diagnosis of long qt at age 12 was. I get to be the lucky one she is taking it out on. $$$$ are so incredibly tight. I hope you are able to find a little peace and enjoyment this season. Hugs |
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Post by Aheartfeltcard on Dec 5, 2014 23:02:37 GMT
I'm sorry I lost my my mom in 2013 and my family dynamics have changed drastically since. The holidays are not the same. My kids and husband keep me going. I think that is partly why I joined the card swap here. I need to feel Christmas cheer and it helps. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2014 23:05:25 GMT
Hugs to everyone! Especially to those who have lost loved ones. I want to hug the statuses.
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Post by christine58 on Dec 5, 2014 23:07:48 GMT
@me
I hope you can find a good used car then you can maybe go serve others. What about hitting a good movie on Christmas Day?? I am sorry you're so alone...although alone doesn't mean lonely. If I lived near you---you'd have a place to go and eat some great Italian food and have some great laughs
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2014 23:17:56 GMT
Thanks Christine! You are so wonderful! I may find a movie. I am looking at a car tomorrow so hopefully I can find one soon!
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,754
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Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Dec 5, 2014 23:25:44 GMT
I'm sorry I lost my my mom in 2013 and my family dynamics have changed drastically since. The holidays are not the same. My kids and husband keep me going. I think that is partly why I joined the card swap here. I need to feel Christmas cheer and it helps. Sorry for the loss of your mom and I can see my family dynamics changing already, too. My mother is still with me, but she sold her house and moved into a senior apartment that she knows she can stay forever, as they provide no care if none needed up to full assisted living. It's a cute little apartment, but you can already feel the "shift" in traditions. No "Thanksgiving at Grandma's house" this year was the first change. Was weird. My DD grabbed a book to read in her favorite little corner of Grandma's house before realizing- no more Grandma's house.  Life goes on and things change, just too fast sometimes. @me I'm sorry you are down. Be good to yourself and if you can't serve others as usual, how about little random acts of kindness in your everyday life? Giving makes you feel better, and I bet just something you would consider insignificant might make someones day and in turn make you feel better. Simple things. |
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Post by gar on Dec 6, 2014 0:09:07 GMT
I can see why this is a tough time for you. Be kind to yourself (hugs)
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maurchclt
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by maurchclt on Dec 6, 2014 0:15:05 GMT
So sorry, hugs. It IS hard, especially at this time of year.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Dec 6, 2014 0:18:44 GMT
Yes, this month is wearing me out. I have ongoing issues with DH and our kids are teens so I don't get to have fun by playing Santa and anticipating their excitement with everything. And as a Christian I'm also having a hard time with the "holiday shopping season". NO. It's not! Ugh. (not starting a discussion about THAT, just expressing my thoughts) My parents don't have extra money so my mom and I decided no gifts for adults, only my DDs (teens). It's really hard to stay out of the "buy, buy, buy" mode but I'm working on it. See above ^^^^^ Thankfully my parents are alive and live close by as well as my aunt. That's our small family we have here. DHs parents are both deceased and our siblings live out of state. I love my family I just wish there were more of them and they all lived closer.  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2014 0:20:48 GMT
Oh I want to make it clear too that I feel for those who have family issues. I know sometimes it's a mixed blessing that I don't have family. Mine was super dysfunctional so I know how that goes. But for anyone is struggling if you want to talk I am here for you. Maybe that is a way I can serve just be listening. I mean it, if you are ever having a hard day send me a message. I love you refupeas. You are the best group of women (and a few men)!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2014 0:39:01 GMT
I'm sorry your struggling. December is hard for me for different reasons. It takes so much more work and effort with my son. I'm sometimes sad he doesn't understand Christmas, yet a bit relieved too we don't have to do all the fake Santa stuff. We are attempting to stay 2 nights at the in-laws this year and I'm trying to prepare myself now. I also have a teen son who thinks we all suck.  |
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Post by rumplesnat on Dec 6, 2014 0:39:27 GMT
Yes. It's horrible this year. My dad died October 23rd. My amazing baby boy was born October 29th. It's been a whirlwind of emotions and I still haven't wrapped my head around everything yet.
If that wasn't enough, we've been waiting for our windows to be replaced since the end of August. They finally came this week, but still haven't completed our bow window in the living room. I don't want to decorate for Christmas as it is, but need to do it for my boys, however I can't put the damn tree up until the freaking window is finished next week. My husband has a giant sheet duct taped over the window so the neighborhood isn't watching our every move. It's beautiful. I just want to cry. Again.
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Post by PEArfect on Dec 6, 2014 1:45:14 GMT
I've had a lot of friends checking in on me over the holidays asking, 'how are you and the girls doing?'. Yes it hurts not celebrating with my husband and mom, but to me the holidays aren't much different then any other day. I miss them every day. Keeping to old traditions and adding new traditions has helped the girls and I get through all of the 'firsts' so far this year. We just take things one day at a time and try not to dwell on dates.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2014 1:47:23 GMT
#PEAperfect, I keep you in my prayers. You have been through so much an yet you have such a heart for serving others and helping to make a difference in their lives. You are pretty amazing in my book!
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Post by NanaKate on Dec 6, 2014 2:44:53 GMT
Hugs to all of you who are struggling. This has been a very tough year for my family as well. We lost my brother in March to pancreatic cancer. He was 57 years old.
While being seen at MD Anderson, he insisted on genetic testing so that all the family related to him by blood could be tested for the BRCA2 gene. I tested positive and so did one of our sisters.
Tuesday I will have a bilateral mastectomy and breast reconstruction surgery. Sister will have mammogram and MRI on Monday and then schedule her bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction.
Hoping 2015 is a better year for all...
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Post by PEArfect on Dec 6, 2014 3:41:01 GMT
#PEAperfect, I keep you in my prayers. You have been through so much an yet you have such a heart for serving others and helping to make a difference in their lives. You are pretty amazing in my book! Thanks! I try. We have two more local police officers battling cancer, awful. I just went to a prayer meeting last week for one of the officers. I've been chatting with his wife. I had wanted to reach out to her for awhile, but wasn't sure if I should. I'm sure I'm a reminder of her worst nightmare. I'm glad I did though. |
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Post by Fidget on Dec 6, 2014 3:50:07 GMT
{{HUGS}} to you OP. I'm struggling a bit, but not as bad as some. My Dear friend lost her son, it will be 5 years on 12/29. We were on vacation, her, I and our Hubbys. It was horrible for me so I can't imagine how awful for her. I will be with her again 5 years later, it will be just as hard as it was 5 years ago. My heart goes out to everyone who struggles through the Holidays, Peace and Love to you all.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 6, 2014 4:22:30 GMT
Huge {{{HUGS}}} for OP and all of you who are suffering or lonely or who have lost someone. DH and I both lost our moms in 2011 about six weeks apart. Even though it wasn't over the holidays, and even though they were both suffering in different ways, it's always hard. It's a tough process but things eventually get better. Thinking about the happy times, the good memories, helps. We are finally in a really good place but it took a long time. I am so very grateful for that and I try not to take anything for granted. I hope everyone here is able to find some peace. |
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Post by anniefb on Dec 6, 2014 4:58:31 GMT
Yes, hugs and prayers to all those who are struggling and dealing with the loss of loved ones or other sadnesses. I lost my Dad in 1994 and my Mum 3 years ago. I don't have other family here in New Zealand (apart from a distant cousin) so it's been hard. Now my brother and sister-in-law who live in the UK are going through really difficult times. I'm going to the UK and Europe to spend Christmas and a few weeks afterwards with family and see some old friends but it's feeling like a big struggle at the moment.
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Post by mztfied on Dec 6, 2014 6:08:53 GMT
Without my beloved dh the holidays are difficult. Not easy but I will get through it. I am trying to keep busy but still it's not the same.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2014 6:43:31 GMT
Hugs to you...I'm sorry for your loss and hope that you find some joy and peace this month
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Post by gemini_jen on Dec 6, 2014 6:51:58 GMT
You're not alone ... Struggling this year. sending hugs your way! |
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Post by my2apps2 on Dec 6, 2014 7:57:25 GMT
Big hugs to everyone who is struggling, this time of year can be so difficult. Our holiday season has been difficult since last year when DH and I lost both of our favorite Grandmas within four days of each other. They were the glue, and their losses have fractured one family and changed the dynamics in another. This year I am personally struggling with the realization that my father never really wanted me. He has recently started building a relationship (friendly only) with my mom...but has nothing to do with me. I know it's silly, especially since I'm on the tail end of my thirties, but I just wish I knew why he didn't, and still doesn't want to know me. I guess I'm mourning the loss of the father/daughter relationship I always wanted. I am so incredibly thankful that my daughter and her daddy are so close...she has no idea how blessed she is. Anyway, enough of my sob story! Prayers and hugs to all of you who are having a rough time.  |
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my mom is upset about it, in times of lucidity my sister is angry.
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Life goes on and things change, just too fast sometimes. 
