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Post by ~summer~ on Nov 18, 2022 16:52:22 GMT
I just want to say I’m sorry. That sounds very very tough.  |
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Post by epeanymous on Nov 18, 2022 17:48:28 GMT
It's possible, but my father was 90 and had been largely deaf/blind for a decade; my mother is 78 and did everything for both of them. sounds like your mother is at a place where she's not 'needed' any more... my mother was the same way- she took care of my dad for years (he was also 10 years older than her) so when he died, she didn't have anything to 'do' so to speak. They had been married for 63 years, and she never really recovered from his death. The only thing she said she wanted was to be with him...  My sister and her husband sold their house and basically moved in with Mom to take care of her for the last year+ of her life (she had multiple health issues she had let go for too long), but they, too, were pretty much the only people she saw on a regular basis. Does your mother belong to a church? Or is there a senior citizens service of some sort in her town? Someone you could find to come in for an hour or two and talk with her, play cards, etc.? Or as some kind of 'caregiver' who would check on her, chat, etc.? My mom had fallen away from the church, so wouldn't even allow the pastor to visit. My sister finally got Mom to agree to have a caregiver come in a couple times a week for a few hours, so she could get a break and run her own errands... (mom had gotten to the point she was pretty frail and we didn't want her left alone) and that actually helped mom out, I think- she had someone different to talk to, and a 'break' in the normal / monotonous routine. ETA: or maybe the library? Does your mom drive at all? My mom was an avid reader-- I'm not sure if she would go out to the library (the pandemic messed with mom's mental health a lot, I think), but if she didn't go out to the library, my sister would go to the library and pick books up for her. Mom and Judy also did a lot of jigsaw puzzles; they got easier as mom's health deteriorated, but she still liked doing them. This is going to sound terrible, and I am sorry about how it sounds. My mother does drive, so there is that. But no--she doesn't belong to a religious organization and doesn't want to. She doesn't read; she is only marginally functionally literate (when my dad was in hospice she had trouble reading the instructions the hospice people would leave for her, eg). I tried in the years before my father died to get her involved in all sorts of hobbies--I bought her scrapbooking supplies, even! -- and she just isn't interested. I found her some grief groups and senior center groups after my father died, but she won't go (again, I stress, she has never had a friend in all the time I have known her, so this is not out of character). The only "hobby" she has is intensive, excessive cleaning, which has, again, been going on since I was a kid (she irons underwear and socks, and vacuums her small apartment twice a day). I try to hang out with her when I can, but I work full-time and still have five kids at home, so it is hard to do more than a few days a week (plus, now, spending time with her is stressful because she is so paranoid and angry!). I definitely have learned from this thread that (1) whatever is going on here, it's deeper than Fox, even if "Laura Ingraham says" has become every other sentence, and (2) I don't pay my therapist enough, she is a hero. |
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Post by scrapbookwriter on Nov 18, 2022 18:16:39 GMT
I agree with others that watching Fox is not causing her dementia. I think dementia is causing her to watch Fox.
Urinary tract infections can lead to dementia behavior. Is there any way to get a urinalysis done for her? Maybe even without a doctor visit? Urgent care maybe?
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Post by lisae on Nov 18, 2022 21:42:27 GMT
Has she been assessed by a mental health professional? Bc what you are saying is just not normal. My Mother exhibited no symptoms of Alzheimer's at all until after my father passed. I'm sure it had started and maybe she noticed things and hid it well but after he died, she suddenly had no one to take care of. That's a lot of physical and mental energy that has to go somewhere. Mother did become more paranoid. If she won't see a doctor, you can be on the lookout yourself for her repeating things, asking the same questions, forgetting where she puts things. Those are also early signs. I agree with @merge If she could find a social group to spend time with, she would here other viewpoints and likely connect with other widows. Doe she attend church? |
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