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Post by hop2 on Dec 9, 2022 14:23:01 GMT
FWIW, Merge, I think your neighbor found a new religion. I agree with this. It sounds like he has an obsessive personality and he jumped ship on the shared interests for his own. Having outside interests isn’t the problem ( CrossFit or any other ) it’s when you go obsessively to the exclusion of anything else - like maintaining your marriage or other relationships. Wether or not the cheating happened before or after she gave him the ultimatum, he had already left her for his new obsession. |
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Post by Merge on Dec 9, 2022 14:33:34 GMT
FWIW, Merge, I think your neighbor found a new religion. I agree with this. It sounds like he has an obsessive personality and he jumped ship on the shared interests for his own. Having outside interests isn’t the problem ( CrossFit or any other ) it’s when you go obsessively to the exclusion of anything else - like maintaining your marriage or other relationships. Wether or not the cheating happened before or after she gave him the ultimatum, he had already left her for his new obsession. Yeah, I agree with this. Also true, as another friend pointed out, that you never know what really goes on in someone else’s marriage. |
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Post by ~summer~ on Dec 9, 2022 15:20:02 GMT
I have a good friend whose husband got super into cross fit - and also eating extreme keto and got very skinny.
He left her.
She’s much better off now….
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,837 
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Post by Just T on Dec 9, 2022 16:02:36 GMT
I agree with too many of you to even quote any one person. It's not a crossfit issue, any more than I can blame Rock N Roll Marathon for the demise of my marriage. My husband's entire life revolved around our children and their activities/sports for years. He had a terrible father, and he was determined to be a better one. He was, but in the meantime, he became a terrible husband. I used to tell friends that I worried about what his life, and our life, would be like when our kids were grown and gone because he had no friends or hobbies of his own. Then, he took up running. At first, two of our kids ran with him. Then he started traveling a couple of times a year running Rock N Roll half marathons in different cities. I don't remember the first year, but I think my 28 year old son was 12, and it was the first time my son ran it with him. Gradually, it evolved into him running somewhere out of town once a month. Then he found out about this running club/group on FB, made up of people from all over the country. He started going to more and more and more races, and became good friends with some members of the group. They started picking races they would meet up at and plan the whole year at once. It's been about 10 years, maybe a few less, since he started traveling to run pretty much every single weekend. He always said his group of friends would meet up and share hotel rooms, or stay at group members houses, etc. He used to talk about these people NON STOP like I knew who they were or something. Then the pandemic hit, and everything was supposedly cancelled. He didn't travel at all for about a month, but then all of the sudden, he started saying he found these obscure little races, that he mostly went to by himself because his running friends were too scared to travel. This story has gotten way too long, but I now know that he was traveling with his "lady friend." Once I started digging into things, I realized that he had been since at least the fall of 2019, and he was even sending gifts to her through MY Amazon account! Clearly, there were issues in our marriage that even made him start traveling all the time anyway, but I was stupid and buried my head in the sand.  At first it annoyed the shit out of me, then, I got used to being alone every weekend and started trying to find ways to enjoy life without him. This was when I just thought he was traveling with friends. Once I figured out he had one "special friend" that he was literally spending thousands every month to travel with, while I drove a shit car and he told me we couldn't afford a new one, I was done. It would be easy for me to say his running ruined our marriage. It kind of did, but if the marriage had been strong and good, I doubt he would have taken running up to the point he did. He truly became obsessed with it, and now I wonder how many other "lady friends" he actually had over the years when I was being stupid. |
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Dec 9, 2022 17:18:42 GMT
I agree with too many of you to even quote any one person. It's not a crossfit issue, any more than I can blame Rock N Roll Marathon for the demise of my marriage. My husband's entire life revolved around our children and their activities/sports for years. He had a terrible father, and he was determined to be a better one. He was, but in the meantime, he became a terrible husband. I used to tell friends that I worried about what his life, and our life, would be like when our kids were grown and gone because he had no friends or hobbies of his own. (.......) Clearly, there were issues in our marriage that even made him start traveling all the time anyway, but I was stupid and buried my head in the sand. At first it annoyed the shit out of me, then, I got used to being alone every weekend and started trying to find ways to enjoy life without him. This was when I just thought he was traveling with friends. Once I figured out he had one "special friend" that he was literally spending thousands every month to travel with, while I drove a shit car and he told me we couldn't afford a new one, I was done. Wow, that's so brutal! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I think so many of us have different attachment styles. My guy and I are very compatible in that we both have alot of interests and passions and we do our own thing, regularly. Also, I'm a default introvert/homebody, but have developed a way of socializing quite well, and actually enjoying it, once I'm in the situation. I never ever initiate it though lol! He has a travel golf group, and I am a very casual golfer. I sometimes join the trips if they are somewhere I am interested in going. I also go out of my way (and comfort zone) to meet up with his friends etc in different groups. He is super social and outgoing-- I would be exhausted if I did a fifth of his socializing, but I do go out of my way sometimes to tell myself what I "should do." Just recently I bought a couple new golf clubs (Black Friday sale) and would have been perfectly happy to not dust them off and try them until "our" next golf outing. He was out of town, but I decided to go up to our golf club and go to the range, and then went in to see who was around. I ended up running into one of his friends I like, but don't know well, and his wife (who turned out to be lovely.) I sat with them at their table for a drink, and the three of us decided to play a round. I had a blast!! Your story very much reminds me how important it is to keep doing these things, because, honestly, I could have easily driven home and scrapbooked or baked by myself. At the time I totally preferred to! I had to coach myself to go up to the club. Hahahaha We put a date on the calendar for the 4 of us to golf. I 100% trust my guy, but I totally see how easy it would be to grow so apart when someone obsesses about a hobby, and partaking excludes their partner. |
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Post by gigito7 on Dec 9, 2022 19:20:16 GMT
Isn't CrossFit part of the MTG cheating scandal? I try to avert my eyes. I've definitely known some people who have gotten waaaaaay into Crossfit. Yes! She is such a nutter. |
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,295
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Post by iowgirl on Dec 14, 2022 23:17:35 GMT
I have a friend who dumped her fiancé for a guy she met at CrossFit. They are married to each other now, have a few kids and are super happy. Both still majorly into CrossFit together. All in all - it was a good choice. I didn't see the other relationship as a healthy one.
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At first it annoyed the shit out of me, then, I got used to being alone every weekend and started trying to find ways to enjoy life without him. This was when I just thought he was traveling with friends. Once I figured out he had one "special friend" that he was literally spending thousands every month to travel with, while I drove a shit car and he told me we couldn't afford a new one, I was done. 
