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Post by Basket1lady on Dec 29, 2022 17:44:32 GMT
I’m also diabetic and am allergic to dairy, onions and garlic. Using your example of chicken pot pie, I do make that, but I make small individual pies. I load mine with veggies and chicken and will add extra potatoes, onion, corn, and peas to DH’s pie. I use the same sauce for both, but make the sauce without dairy and make it more broth based vs cream (well, oat milk) based. I’ll also only do a top crust on my pie and offer him half of it.
It’s only fair to your SO that you are honest with him. Maybe compromise and indulge once a week on the heavier dishes and have him pick another that is on the lighter side.
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Post by paulao on Dec 29, 2022 17:55:27 GMT
You need to meal plan for yourself. The nights he makes a non diabetic friendly meal, you make one from your meal plan. You are making this much harder than necessary,
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Post by dewryce on Dec 29, 2022 18:07:05 GMT
You mentioned you have a hard time not eating it when it’s there in front of you. It’s so easy to say just eat more salad and only a little of the good stuff, but in practice it doesn’t always work like that for everyone.
We both have a very hard time with this as well, so what we do for each other is not keep those foods in the house at all, or even prepare those dishes/types of meals except occasionally. We know the other doesn’t have the willpower to abstain, and we are a team. I’m not suggesting this is the best way for everyone to handle it, but it’s an option. I think it would work especially well since he can and does have options for his preferred foods at lunch.
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Post by mollycoddle on Dec 29, 2022 18:12:56 GMT
Just talk to him about how you need to do better with your diet. I'm sure he doesn't realize bc you've been just eating it. As for the dining together, it's pretty easy to make two versions of something that you can both enjoy at the same time. He's making rice that you don't want? Then he could also make up some cauliflower rice. Same for you. It would help if things were assembled separately so you could get more of the healthy stuff without the carbs. I often had separate dishes for my son when he was younger bc he had some real food sensory issues. It wasn't two gourmet meals but it's totally doable when someone has special dietary needs. Just let him know so he can adjust, and let's everyone hold off on calling him an asshole since he's probably not even aware that it's become a problem. Geesh, poor guy. This.
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Dec 29, 2022 18:49:57 GMT
I’m learning to navigate this because my DH has heart disease and needs to make a radical diet change. We have two teenagers at home and they are not used to eating plant based meals. I’m not making two meals and I’m not going to give up the family dinners. There are some great ideas here! I think it’s a bit easier to accept for people who have allergies because they can’t eat certain foods or they have immediate violent consequences so I’m going to think of it that way to make it easier because moderation is hard.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 29, 2022 18:56:04 GMT
This is a hot topic for us. I don’t cook for dietary needs since my sister passed. She saw a stupid naturopath who told her she was allergic to eggs, soy, gluten and dairy. I want to throat punch that stupid woman who fed my sister that garbage. She has her believe that would cure her. I will not cook for special needs. They can stay home.
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 29, 2022 20:13:56 GMT
Ugh, I am starting to get so frustrated! I have Type 1 diabetes, so while I can technically eat whatever I want, I have to take a lot more insulin than I'd like for carb-heavy foods. I don't require a totally keto diet, but I do like to eat lower carb. Nothing crazy but typically under 80g a day. This is what you need to share with him. MIL is diabetic (T2, no insulin) and I honestly thought she would let me know what she could/couldn't eat when visiting. When she didn't say anything, I thought it was all fine. Our meals are healthy but definitely some were too carb heavy years ago. I made a lot of pancake breakfasts when the kids were little. It wasn't until our nephew was diagnosed at 8/9 that DH & I really learned how to balance his food intake and realized we didn't know as much as we thought we did. MIL's response when DH asked why she never said anything was she didn't want to bother us.
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Post by Skellinton on Dec 29, 2022 20:25:43 GMT
This is a hot topic for us. I don’t cook for dietary needs since my sister passed. She saw a stupid naturopath who told her she was allergic to eggs, soy, gluten and dairy. I want to throat punch that stupid woman who fed my sister that garbage. She has her believe that would cure her. I will not cook for special needs. They can stay home. Wow. I don’t know what your history is, other then you clearly don’t be;I’ve your sister had allergies, but as someone with severe allergies I find your vitriol interesting. Those are incredibly common allergies. Obviously they should be diagnosed by a doctor, but still, they are very common. I assume you would find my allergies unbelievable as well, but I assure you they are real.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 29, 2022 20:34:10 GMT
This is a hot topic for us. I don’t cook for dietary needs since my sister passed. She saw a stupid naturopath who told her she was allergic to eggs, soy, gluten and dairy. I want to throat punch that stupid woman who fed my sister that garbage. She has her believe that would cure her. I will not cook for special needs. They can stay home. Wow. I don’t know what your history is, other then you clearly don’t be;I’ve your sister had allergies, but as someone with severe allergies I find your vitriol interesting. Those are incredibly common allergies. Obviously they should be diagnosed by a doctor, but still, they are very common. I assume you would find my allergies unbelievable as well, but I assure you they are real. My sister died at 85 lbs.
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Post by Skellinton on Dec 29, 2022 20:47:56 GMT
Wow. I don’t know what your history is, other then you clearly don’t be;I’ve your sister had allergies, but as someone with severe allergies I find your vitriol interesting. Those are incredibly common allergies. Obviously they should be diagnosed by a doctor, but still, they are very common. I assume you would find my allergies unbelievable as well, but I assure you they are real. My sister died at 85 lbs. I am very sorry to hear thar, but there are reasons other than allergies that happened. There are plenty of foods she could have eaten to not be that low of weight. So many protein foods -Lentils, nuts, meats, there are a ton of dairy alternatives. ‘Again, I am sorry for your loss, but your vitriol towards allergies because of your sister’s death is unusual, I think.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 29, 2022 20:52:06 GMT
My sister died at 85 lbs. I am very sorry to hear thar, but there are reasons other than allergies that happened. There are plenty of foods she could have eaten to not be that low of weight. So many protein foods -Lentils, nuts, meats, there are a ton of dairy alternatives. ‘Again, I am sorry for your loss, but your vitriol towards allergies because of your sister’s death is unusual, I think. I believe anyone else. She would eat a grilled cheese when there was nothing in the house to eat. Yeah there is gluten and dairy in that. Somehow she felt better after eating it. She was 5’3” and weighed 85lbs. No white woman should weigh that little. Yeah so I am still disbelieving everything that non-doctor said.
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Post by jenb72 on Dec 29, 2022 20:53:28 GMT
We have three adults in our house that cook (we rotate) - DH, myself, and BIL. The rule for us is, cook what you want. If someone doesn't want to eat what you've cooked, they can fix themselves something else. Generally we try to take dietary issues and food tastes into account, but that's not always possible, so we try to keep leftovers from other nights as well as quick-fix things on hand in case we need to prepare something on the fly. And each of us knows, no harm, no foul if we don't eat what the other person prepared. It's not a comment on the cooking (we're all pretty good cooks).
Jen
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Post by scrapmaven on Dec 29, 2022 20:55:34 GMT
I cook for dh only. When my sons are home, as they are now for their break I cook for 3 and I adapt it to include more carbs for the boys. When I stopped eating normal food my dh gained weight, because I was no longer worrying about fat/sugar/etc. However, I forgot that he was middle aged and needed to be concerned w/that stuff. So, one day he asked me to make lower carb meals for him. I wasn't at all offended. In fact, I took it as a challenge to learn entirely new recipes. You can combine your eating styles, too. As destined2bmom suggested, you can eat more of the veggies and proteins and let your dh eat the carbs. There are many options for you. W/all of the Keto/Paleo eating nowadays you can make lots of delicious foods that you'll both enjoy. Americas Test Kitchen has loads of keto/paleo stuff that you can both eat and enjoy.
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Post by Zee on Dec 29, 2022 21:02:17 GMT
I am very sorry to hear thar, but there are reasons other than allergies that happened. There are plenty of foods she could have eaten to not be that low of weight. So many protein foods -Lentils, nuts, meats, there are a ton of dairy alternatives. ‘Again, I am sorry for your loss, but your vitriol towards allergies because of your sister’s death is unusual, I think. I believe anyone else. She would eat a grilled cheese when there was nothing in the house to eat. Yeah there is gluten and dairy in that. Somehow she felt better after eating it. She was 5’3” and weighed 85lbs. No white woman should weigh that little. Yeah so I am still disbelieving everything that non-doctor said. I know that hurt you deeply, but don't discount actual food allergies vs your sister's following bad advice from a naturopath when she had cancer. Something similar happened to my bff's sister, but that wasn't the fault of people with actual allergies. I'm allergic to cantaloupe and it makes my throat swell. I won't eat anything it's touched. Much easier to avoid than gluten, etc but it's a "real" thing. "They can stay home" is way harsh Ty.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 29, 2022 21:04:51 GMT
There was significan drama that always ensued. Believe me I will believe every Pea in here who has food allergies. I believe everyone. Not her.
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Post by allison1954 on Dec 29, 2022 21:22:08 GMT
I am very sorry to hear thar, but there are reasons other than allergies that happened. There are plenty of foods she could have eaten to not be that low of weight. So many protein foods -Lentils, nuts, meats, there are a ton of dairy alternatives. ‘Again, I am sorry for your loss, but your vitriol towards allergies because of your sister’s death is unusual, I think. I believe anyone else. She would eat a grilled cheese when there was nothing in the house to eat. Yeah there is gluten and dairy in that. Somehow she felt better after eating it. She was 5’3” and weighed 85lbs. No white woman should weigh that little. Yeah so I am still disbelieving everything that non-doctor said. What the Hell does being white have to do with it? What that be ok for Black or green people? I really find that offensive.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 29, 2022 21:30:55 GMT
I believe anyone else. She would eat a grilled cheese when there was nothing in the house to eat. Yeah there is gluten and dairy in that. Somehow she felt better after eating it. She was 5’3” and weighed 85lbs. No white woman should weigh that little. Yeah so I am still disbelieving everything that non-doctor said. What the Hell does being white have to do with it? What that be ok for Black or green people? I really find that offensive. I am done.
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Post by myboysnme on Dec 29, 2022 22:26:41 GMT
My DH nd I often eat different things. We can still eat together and not eat the same things. At times we might share one dish like burgers, but I will decline the bun.
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Post by flanz on Dec 30, 2022 4:17:48 GMT
My DH nd I often eat different things. We can still eat together and not eat the same things. At times we might share one dish like burgers, but I will decline the bun. My DH and I frequently eat different things but sit down together as often as we can. I eat meat but am deathly allergic to fish. DH eats fish but is pescatarian and doesn't eat meat. I feel best when I completely avoid wheat and dairy, DH eats tons of both. We both eat veggies and fruits and nuts and some vegan meals, but I always have some portions of "my foods" in the freezer to quickly thaw for myself. Ditto for DH. I cook for both of us. He cooks for both of us. Sometimes we cook separately. When I do cook, I make large batches and freeze portions - it's like finding hidden treasure later. Good luck finding a satisfactory path forward.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Dec 30, 2022 8:30:59 GMT
I think communication is at the heart of this - it's very easy to assume that the other party's priorities without talking to them. You may assume they really understand the impact of more carbs, but it's easy for those not in the thick of it to assume taking more insulin isn't a big deal. It's also more than possible that they will get as much satisfaction from fixing diabetic friendly meals as the food and wine meals when made aware. I was a vegetarian for 10 years with a Midwestern meat and potatoes man cooking the majority of our meals. He found making meals that he was excited to eat and adaptable for a vegetarian an exciting challenge. It really is more than possible for very diverse dietary challenges to be accommodated when everyone understands and is sensitive to the others needs.
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Post by supersoda on Dec 30, 2022 21:30:23 GMT
This is definitely about communication. You need to explain that you have to take more insulin. You need to explain the long term consequences of blood sugar swings and of having your blood sugar high too often or too long.
I know you’re much more educated about T1 than I am and there are some significant differences, but I was dx’d T2 a couple of months ago. I really did not understand the impact of glucose swings on my overall health or the long term consequences until I was dx’d and started researching.
I sat DH down and explained that if I wanted to be healthy into old age I had to get this under control now and that he was going to have to be on board because it would be really, really hard otherwise.
It’s been a learning curve for both of us, but he’s been so good. We’ve gone low carb overall, but will sometimes make adjustments so that something is better for me. Or if it’s something richer/carbier I’ll do a small portion and fill out my meal with veggies. It is hard, but my fear of bigger consequences has helped keep me in check and it’s nice to have small portions of yummy foods every once in a while instead of cutting them out completely—and keeps DH happier too.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,899
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Dec 30, 2022 22:12:32 GMT
I'm allergic to some fish, to the point where if DH eats fish and chips for lunch at work, and forgets when he comes home and kisses me, my mouth will swell up. I carry an Epi-Pen. If I go away for the weekend alone to my family, he will enjoy fish and chips and make sure he cleans up properly before I get back. If he visits friends he'll have fish as well.
I also have sensitivities to lots of other foods, most of which I can get away with a little every now and then. We'll have one "naughty treat" meal on a Friday night, which we will thoroughly enjoy and I'll take my meds. The rest of the time I do nearly all the cooking and I cook with alternatives. It's a good compromise. However if DH did the catering and didn't know/care then we would have to communicate.
I do a lot of bulk slow cooker meals which get frozen down in servings. Some servings contain a carbohydrate and some don't, so we can choose which we take out of the freezer to defrost. That works beautifully and I'm more than happy to share my favourite recipes.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,816
Location: Houston, TX
Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on Jan 3, 2023 18:31:05 GMT
Update in OP
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Post by Merge on Jan 3, 2023 22:56:59 GMT
Yay for the good outcome!
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