Pictures of people no longer in your life

Burn the photos, toss them in the trash, but give yourself permission to get rid of them.

It’s time to shed the burden of those memories.

I’ve had a few friendships that I had to walk away from. One had 9 out of 10 symptoms of a sociopath. Others were narcisists. Once I understood that I was being manipulated, I had to walk away, but it was hard. Even today, those memories drag me down.

I think it would have been far worse to keep the pictures. I got rid of them, and while I can’t completely shed the memories, at least the photos aren’t in an album nearby to bring the memories to the front again.

This is how I feel as well. It sounds like the good memories are never going to outweigh the bad, and in that case, I would throw them or burn them. I agree with you about not putting any creative energy into it. Unless I were to do a private page about how good it felt to let that go.

Sometimes, we must purge our crafty stash to make room for new and exciting things.

It is completely ok to purge your photos to make room for new, happy memories in your books, too.

Burn 'em all! 🔥 That's what I do when I come across an unsavory individual in my photo stash.

That is tough. If it were me, I would probably reprint the photos and crop him out where needed to respect your daughter's wishes. If the pictures truly bring you joy and you want to save a couple, I would place them on a tag or something and tuck them away within the layout. That way, your daughter can look through the albums freely, but you will also have your memories preserved, too. If there isn't space on the layout, you could easily make a pocket on the back of one to tuck things into as well.

I shredded all photos of XH, his family and our wedding. Scenery photos of trips that we took I kept.

Not exactly the question you asked but people who don’t bring me anything but happy memories and thoughts don’t get a place in my album. My album space is limited and I’m not using it on someone who I have mixed feelings for.

In general, all the chapters of my life make up the book of my life. But there are exceptions to every rule.

The exception: The photos from my abusive marriage, I tore up and tossed. It was cathartic. It needed to be done, to help me heal old wounds.
I didn't want to see the photos of my ex husband anymore, because it triggered me.
That chapter of my life was horrific, and needs to be closed and left in the past.

In general, my scrapbooks are the story of my life.....or least the from age 29-30-ish on, when I started scrapbooking and taking photographs.
I do have photos in my scrapbooks of people I no longer or infrequently associate with (family members, old neighbors, good friends that are now acquaintances, etc...). Life ebbs and flows, people come and people go. Some we like, some we don't.

In general, I have some photos in my scrapbook of people that I don't particularly care for (I am not going to like everyone and everyone isn't going to like me....and that is very okay).
Group photos or mini group photos happen. Sometimes people >> a toxic family member, an obnoxious asshole, drama queen, colleague I or acquaintance that  I don't like or I don't care for are in the photos.
I scrapbook the photos, because those photos are part of an event, gathering, photo op, etc... I can't say "umm, get out of my photo because I don't like you" that would be rude and cause drama......so I go with the life isn't perfect and it is what it is....philosophy.
It's all the chapters of my book and all the characters in my book....that make up my life story. If I tore out all the pages of what I didn't like or who I didn't like, I'd have too many missing pages and my book would be incomplete. So I go with the first heinous chapter tossed, and begin with the chapter after that.....even if it includes characters I don't like. 

Your husband is funny, and I love his idea, but I would not have the emotional bandwidth to go back and re-scrapbook those photos, even with supplies I don't like. I had a lifelong "best" friend who is no longer in my life, for reasons that sound very similar to yours. I only kept a couple of layouts of events that were milestone moments for me (my college graduation, the birth of my son) where she appears in the photos. Everything else that revolved around her... her weddings, her baby showers, her birthdays, hanging out at her house, all went in the trash. And I don't regret it for a second.

I have a tote full of scrapbooks in my basement I made when married to my ex husband. We didn’t have any kids. I don’t look at them often but there are people no longer living in the photos so I don’t get rid of them. Honestly when I look at them it’s like looking at someone else’s life. Strange. Also, it’s kind of interesting to see those pages since I was a 12x12 scrapbooker back then and they were so involved.

It is a tough question; I don't think there is one right answer.

I have never been married or even had a serious romantic relationship so that's no an issue for me. I have had friends who aren't in my life anymore. What's tricky is some are in photos I have already scrapbooked, and what I'm trying to figure out is how to journal so it makes sense to my niece/nephew as to who the people are and why they made it into my albums, because they left my life before they were born, so they won't have any concept of them. Specifically, I had a good friend back in the early 2000s who I grew apart from. She has a niece & nephew I really liked and I was part of their childhood, so I have this period of time where I have pics of them... attended a few of their birthday parties, went bowling with them, etc. I am happy to scrap those pics; I just hope it doesn't seem odd that they suddenly disappear from my albums. Luckily I don't think I've done the final journalling (I do a draft first, on scratch paper, and attach to back with washi or other easy to remove tape) on those pages so I can address it, I think.

The thing I have learned is sometimes - and many of the examples here will not fit in this category - sometimes you think a relationship is done & not reparable, and it turns out you're wrong. I had a friend with whom I had a big blow up & I figured there was no hope. We had a long, LONG break from each other (we're talking 10 years), had time to grow, talked, learned a few things about each other & ourselves and now we are friends again. So I am super glad I didn't throw away the photo of her at my university grad.

When my mom got married to my stepdad, she burned all her pics of old boyfriends, including the photos of my dad. I'd give anything for a photo of my parents together, but they're gone. I'd love to have just a few photos of my dad, but they're gone, and his family hasn't chosen (in spite of me asking) to share photos of him with me. He passed away many years ago.

I'm glad you asked this question jediannie , and that you expanded on it kmage , as I have been thinking about this recently as well.

I have two scenarios that I have been pondering.

I have been scanning a lot of photos of DD from when she was a baby though to about 4yo, when I was still using a film camera, so I can re-scrap the pages. I was paper scrapping back then, and it was in my early days of scrapping (think photos cut into weird shapes, cheesy journaling, and sticker sneeze lying on a bed of primary coloured plain cardstock). But her dad is in a lot of those photos. I feel weird about including him in my albums now, as he hasn't been in my life - or my photos - for over 20 years. 

For single photos of them together, it's easy - I'm just not going to scrap them. But photos of things like Christmas, birthdays, and holidays (vacations), I don't know whether to scrap all photos except the ones with him in them, or include them (but make them really small hahaha!). 

The other one is photos of DD and her boyfriend from the age of 15 to 21. There are some lovely photos of the two of them that I would love to scrap. I asked her last year whether I should include those photos in an album when I finally get around to printing one out. I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't keen on me doing that, so I have decided against it. I'm sure it would be awkward for her partner, with whom she has just bought a house, to see the photos of DD and her ex.

I have two people that are no longer in my life that I have in my scrapbooks, one was an ex boyfriend and the other was a very close friend.

The ex boyfriend was someone who was a big part of my life story but I could never bring myself to scrapbook anything with him in it. Fast forward a few years and we both do a bit of growing up and got some life experience and we actually reconnected as friends and that has changed how I view our story, I guess time can heal some things. I have been able to record those memories from that time in my life as those feelings around him and us changed, he wasn't a bad person we were just really young and we weren't ready for that.

My friend is a more touchy subject. I do have pages with her in them and I have chosen to keep them in my albums for now however, she was in my wedding party and 11 years on I have still not scrapbooked my wedding because I just don't know what to do with the photos with her in them. I did make the decision a while ago to crop her out of as many photos as I can and to focus on the beautiful memories of the day but she and her partner were a huge part of the reason of why I could never document my wedding and have very mixed emotions around my whole wedding experience. I wish it wasn't this way but unfortunately I look at my wedding photos and I just get so hurt and frustrated.