|
|
Post by iammikki on Dec 9, 2014 23:27:54 GMT
My ex-husband is going to be in town for Christmas (he lives in Texas, I live in Vegas) and he is coming over for family Christmas with our daughter and my parents, all of which will obviously be getting Christmas gifts. Plus, last time my daughter was talking to him on the phone, I think she told me that I got him a Christmas present, which means he might feel obligated to get me a Christmas gift and I would feel awful if he got me something and I got him nothing.
Edit for clarification: We are still friendly with each other. Kaylee has never known us as being married, so I doubt a Christmas gift would be considered anything more than that.
|
|
Peal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,524
Jun 25, 2014 22:45:40 GMT
|
Post by Peal on Dec 9, 2014 23:29:50 GMT
How is your relationship? If it is amicable/friendly then I might get a token gift. If there is animosity and resentment I wouldn't feel inclined to get anything.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 9:47:30 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2014 23:33:10 GMT
Take this for what it's worth, because I haven't experienced this personally, but depending on the age of your daughter I would be cautious to do anything that might give her hope of reconciliation.
I have a friend who went through a divorce with two young children, and her counselor cautioned her against this, especially around the holidays.
If you have an amicable relationship, I might touch base and and straighten things out regarding the gift-giving--that you didn't buy him anything, nor do you expect him to buy anything for you.
|
|
|
|
Post by iammikki on Dec 9, 2014 23:38:55 GMT
How is your relationship? If it is amicable/friendly then I might get a token gift. If there is animosity and resentment I wouldn't feel inclined to get anything. We have a good relationship, things happened but we don't let it effect how we are around our daughter. She's also never known us together, we separated when I was 8 months pregnant. |
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Dec 9, 2014 23:41:26 GMT
Would it have the same effect if you paid for it but it was "from" your daughter? That might reduce any awkwardness on your end. Although I suppose not if he has gotten you something.
|
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Dec 9, 2014 23:49:53 GMT
Please do allow your dd to pick something out for her father from Her. That's one thing I wish both of my parents would have done.
You don't need to give him anything from you to him.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 9:47:30 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2014 23:49:56 GMT
I'm separated but we will be together with our children for Christmas. I have a gift for him and a stocking. Maybe you could have a stocking filled for him.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 9:47:30 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2014 0:02:58 GMT
Even though your dd has never known a life with you two together there is still a tendency in kids to dream for that to happen. Since you are friendly with him I'd call and clarify with him about the exchange of gifts between the two of you. Personally, I wouldn't want him shopping for me because I'd end up with something I couldn't use but couldn't easily ditch either since my dd would know he gave it to me.
Can you arrange the gift opening schedule for before or after his visit for the day? Like eat breakfast, open gifts then he arrives?
|
|
scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,759 
|
Post by scrapngranny on Dec 10, 2014 0:04:40 GMT
I think a gift is a very nice idea. Since you are close enough to spend the Holiday with him a gift will make him feel part of the celebration.
|
|
|
|
Post by eebud on Dec 10, 2014 0:10:50 GMT
I think a small gift is nice. Everyone else is opening gifts and it will be nice for him to have something to open too. One year, I had both my mom and my dad for Christmas. They both brought a gift for the other. I don't believe either one expected it but it was nice on both their parts. If I were spending Christmas with my DS's dad, I would have a small gift for him. I don't think you need to go all out but maybe a box of Christmas chocolates if he likes chocolate or something like that.
|
|
tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
|
Post by tduby1 on Dec 10, 2014 1:35:14 GMT
Can't you buy a gift from your daughter to him? That would suffice but I see nothing wrong with you purchasing a small token gift, too, if you choose. I think that fact that ypu are able to spend the holiday together for your daughter is admiral.
|
|
|
|
Post by scraphollie27 on Dec 10, 2014 1:48:56 GMT
I would. We had a great relationship with my DH's ex-wife and we exchanged gifts for many years to the delight of all the children involved.
|
|
|
|
Post by CarolT on Dec 10, 2014 2:25:23 GMT
My uncle was divorced and remarried when his children were very small. They had a very amicable divorce, and everyone truly got along well over the years.
They usually had Christmas together - the kids always "bought" gifts for their parents when they were with the other parent. My uncle's ex-wife also always gave my aunt and uncle a small gift if they were together at Christmas - usually it was a framed photo of the kids or something like that, and they would usually give her something like a bottle of wine or a nice box of chocolates.
|
|
|
|
Post by brina on Dec 10, 2014 2:29:41 GMT
If somebody is a guest in your house and will be present at the time gifts are being opened there should be something for that person to open - ex-husband of not. Thee should obviously be a gift from your daughter to her father.
|
|
|
|
Post by cecelia on Dec 10, 2014 2:29:47 GMT
I would definitely get him a small gift, especially if everyone else is exchanging at the same time.
|
|
|
|
Post by chaosisapony on Dec 10, 2014 2:33:00 GMT
I think a token gift would be very nice of you. A small box of chocolates or maybe one of the specially wrapped snacks in the Christmas section at Target.
|
|
Refupea #1142
