The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,983
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Mar 4, 2023 13:18:03 GMT
So, we went to a funeral mass a couple days ago. The last time I was at a Catholic mass was almost two years ago for a wedding.
At both events, before communion, the priest gave a little speech/warning/welcome? I don’t have the exact words, but it was something like:
:::everyone is welcome to come up for communion or stay seated. If you choose to come up and you are not Catholic, place you arms over your chest to receive a blessing instead of taking communion. If you are not a catholic in good standing, meaning you do not go to mass regularly and in a state of grace, you may also place your arms over your chest for a blessing. Catholics in good standing are encouraged to take communion. :::
Until these last two masses, I had never heard a priest say this so directly, with so many directions and with obviously great concern. It was the same priest and church. I am wondering if this has become common practice or is this localized?
FYI: I am aware of the rule as I am a confirmed catholic that has been non practicing and deconstructed for many many years. There were a couple people, who are not catholic, who were pretty annoyed after the funeral. They also knew the rule, but felt it was pretty offensive how it was stated. It definitely gives off a pretty intense and unwelcoming vibe. Tone may be part of it too. The priest is not particularly warm and friendly-specifically towards non Catholics. I have been around him many times over the years as he’s a “family friend.”
So, curious? Is this common now?
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 4, 2023 13:21:52 GMT
Yes, it's very common. I refer to myself as a recovering Catholic. I've belonged to Lutheran churches for over 40 years, but as my entire family are practicing Catholics, I am at mass fairly often.
It's one of the things I dislike about the Catholic church. My Lutheran church says it's Christ's table and all are welcome.
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,983
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Mar 4, 2023 13:24:53 GMT
Yes, it's very common. I refer to myself as a recovering Catholic. I've belonged to Lutheran churches for over 40 years, but as my entire family are practicing Catholics, I am at mass fairly often. It's one of the things I dislike about the Catholic church. My Lutheran church says it's Christ's table and all are welcome. Interesting. Growing up catholic in Minnesota, I don’t ever remember hearing it stated like that. I feel like once when I was a teen at a church not my own, hearing something kinda like that but I was a practicing Catholic then.
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 4, 2023 13:27:23 GMT
Yes, it's very common. I refer to myself as a recovering Catholic. I've belonged to Lutheran churches for over 40 years, but as my entire family are practicing Catholics, I am at mass fairly often. It's one of the things I dislike about the Catholic church. My Lutheran church says it's Christ's table and all are welcome. Interesting. Growing up catholic in Minnesota, I don’t ever remember hearing it stated like that. I feel like once when I was a teen at a church not my own, hearing something kinda like that but I was a practicing Catholic then. I've mostly heard it at religious rites, like first communion or funeral masses. But, I know I heard it at a regular mass, too.
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Post by supersoda on Mar 4, 2023 13:28:56 GMT
I have not heard it stated like that. DH's family is catholic and we've been to a handful of funerals over the last couple of years, but we haven't been to a regular mass in at least a decade.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,408
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Mar 4, 2023 13:39:30 GMT
I've always heard the priest give those rules/instructions no matter which catholic church I attend.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,741
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Mar 4, 2023 13:42:46 GMT
I've never heard those rules given. I would have just assumed if you're not catholic you wouldn't participate.
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Post by auntkelly on Mar 4, 2023 13:47:48 GMT
I’m not Catholic, but my husband is and I go to mass with him almost every Sunday.
At Sunday masses, nothing is said about who can receive communion, although the priest would never knowingly give communion to a non Catholic. At weddings and funerals there is usually something written on the program. As far as I can remember, though, the instructions are for non Catholics. I don’t recall seeing any instructions for lapsed Catholics.
It doesn’t bother me that as a non Catholic I can’t receive communion. I don’t believe in transsubstantiation so I don’t think it would be proper for me to receive communion in the Catholic Church. I was raised a Protestant in a church where the Lord’s Supper was seen as symbolic and this is what I still believe.
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Post by Linda on Mar 4, 2023 13:48:22 GMT
IME it's most common at Christmas and Easter masses and then Rites (Funeral, Confirmation, FHC, Wedding) - in other words, Masses where there may be a greater percentage of non-Catholics and Catholics who aren't in good standing. I've also seen it in bulletins occasionally - less often now that the trend is towards handing out after Mass rather than them being available before Mass.
I think tone matters. But I also think there are people who are just offended in general by the fact that the Catholic Church has a closed communion and no tone will change that. As a Catholic, there have been plenty of times when I've gone up arms crossed for a blessing (the five years between my civil marriage and my convalidation for one but also if I'm not in good standing for any other reason - typically because I need to go to confession). I also would not receive communion in a non-Catholic church even if they have open communion (and I'm guessing that there are people who would be offended by that)
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Post by shanniebananie on Mar 4, 2023 13:52:20 GMT
I am a proud practicing Catholic and it is very common to hear this at wedding ceremonies, funerals, or Christmas and Easter masses when there may be participants who are lapsed Catholics or those who are Christian but not Catholic. It is not ever meant to offend, in my opinion. It is just a gentle reminder that the Eucharistic sacrament is taken very seriously and participants have to meet certain expectations.
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Post by littlemama on Mar 4, 2023 14:00:26 GMT
So glad I became Protestant where everyone is welcome.
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momto4kiddos
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Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Mar 4, 2023 14:10:20 GMT
I've been hearing it as of recent past few years, never before that.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Mar 4, 2023 14:46:28 GMT
Yes, it's very common. I refer to myself as a recovering Catholic. I've belonged to Lutheran churches for over 40 years, but as my entire family are practicing Catholics, I am at mass fairly often. It's one of the things I dislike about the Catholic church. My Lutheran church says it's Christ's table and all are welcome.Big ditto. Former Catholic, now Episcopalian, who prefers that view. By a long shot. One of the (many) reasons I left the Catholic Church.
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caangel
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Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on Mar 4, 2023 15:00:01 GMT
IME it's most common at Christmas and Easter masses and then Rites (Funeral, Confirmation, FHC, Wedding) - in other words, Masses where there may be a greater percentage of non-Catholics and Catholics who aren't in good standing. I've also seen it in bulletins occasionally - less often now that the trend is towards handing out after Mass rather than them being available before Mass. I think tone matters. But I also think there are people who are just offended in general by the fact that the Catholic Church has a closed communion and no tone will change that. As a Catholic, there have been plenty of times when I've gone up arms crossed for a blessing (the five years between my civil marriage and my convalidation for one but also if I'm not in good standing for any other reason - typically because I need to go to confession). I also would not receive communion in a non-Catholic church even if they have open communion (and I'm guessing that there are people who would be offended by that) I'm in my mid 40s and heard this growing up and it was done at my wedding. My DH is/was Methodist as are his parents and their friends. I had many people come up and say how welcomed they felt. So I think tone has a lot to do with how it is received. I am no longer practicing for many reasons...
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Post by Bridget in MD on Mar 4, 2023 15:09:23 GMT
I am a proud practicing Catholic and it is very common to hear this at wedding ceremonies, funerals, or Christmas and Easter masses when there may be participants who are lapsed Catholics or those who are Christian but not Catholic. It is not ever meant to offend, in my opinion. It is just a gentle reminder that the Eucharistic sacrament is taken very seriously and participants have to meet certain expectations.As a baptized, confirmed Lutheran who occasssionally attends Catholic services/masses, tho, it is offputting. My baptism and confirmation should be just as recognized as a Catholic's. That's my .02. I realize it is because the Catholic church doesn't want anyone participating non-seriously (probably any church feels that way, honestly) but we all know there are plenty of Catholics who just participate bc thats what they've always done. I don't participate in communion at a Catholic church, because I recognize I believe something different in the ceremony, but not the meaning behind it, if that makes any sense (I think it is a symbol, not actually transforming into body & blood). I don't even go up to receive a blessing. I feel I don't need a blessing from someone who doesn't fully welcome me. There is a feeling of being a 2nd class citizen. Again, all my opinions. Yes, it's very common. I refer to myself as a recovering Catholic. I've belonged to Lutheran churches for over 40 years, but as my entire family are practicing Catholics, I am at mass fairly often. It's one of the things I dislike about the Catholic church. My Lutheran church says it's Christ's table and all are welcome.
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Post by Lurkingpea on Mar 4, 2023 15:34:37 GMT
I dated a Catholic boy and would go to church with him. He did not have a home church that he liked. We went church hopping. Every week he would pick a new one to go to. This was a long time ago. I never once heard anything like that. Is it only Catholic church that does that? In other churches can't anyone take Communion?
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 25, 2014 22:52:46 GMT
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Post by iowgirl on Mar 4, 2023 15:44:56 GMT
If you are not a catholic in good standing, meaning you do not go to mass regularly and in a state of grace, you may also place your arms over your chest for a blessing. Former Catholic, and the "state of grace" thing can really be up to interpretation, according to what I see in my still practicing friends. Divorce, birth control, IVF, pre-marital sex, homosexuality, etc. can remove you from "a state of grace" ... but some priests/churches look the other way. Some come down hard on it. And for many, it depends on who you are.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 4, 2023 15:53:09 GMT
Yes, it's very common. I refer to myself as a recovering Catholic. I've belonged to Lutheran churches for over 40 years, but as my entire family are practicing Catholics, I am at mass fairly often. It's one of the things I dislike about the Catholic church. My Lutheran church says it's Christ's table and all are welcome.Big ditto. Former Catholic, now Episcopalian, who prefers that view. By a long shot. One of the (many) reasons I left the Catholic Church. Same here, but I don’t practice any organized religion now. There’s a lot to not like about the Catholic Church.
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Post by myshelly on Mar 4, 2023 15:58:40 GMT
I have only been to one Catholic mass. A funeral in Texas about 4 years ago. The priest gave this instruction.
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Post by Sparki on Mar 4, 2023 16:07:59 GMT
I'm not catholic, but I live in Santa Fe, where that is the main religion. I go to many funerals, wakes, weddings, first communion, etc. This is the normal statement at everything. Now, depending on the priest, they may make it sound more welcoming than that. I know one priest who is always clear that even if we are not catholic, etc, that he would still love to bless us.
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Post by monklady123 on Mar 4, 2023 16:09:59 GMT
I dated a Catholic boy and would go to church with him. He did not have a home church that he liked. We went church hopping. Every week he would pick a new one to go to. This was a long time ago. I never once heard anything like that. Is it only Catholic church that does that? In other churches can't anyone take Communion? I can't speak for "most" denominations, but in mine -- Presbyterian (PCUSA) -- anyone can. We feel that it's not up to those of us who are offering communion to be the judge of anyone else.
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Post by monklady123 on Mar 4, 2023 16:16:00 GMT
I am a proud practicing Catholic and it is very common to hear this at wedding ceremonies, funerals, or Christmas and Easter masses when there may be participants who are lapsed Catholics or those who are Christian but not Catholic. It is not ever meant to offend, in my opinion. It is just a gentle reminder that the Eucharistic sacrament is taken very seriously and participants have to meet certain expectations.And that's the part that many people find... offensive, I guess, although I was trying to find another word. It actually makes me a bit sad that someone would think that non-Catholic churches do not take this sacrament seriously. Speaking for just the denominations I know a lot about -- Presbyterian (PCUSA), Lutheran, United Methodist, Episcopalian -- I can assure you that we take communion very seriously. But we don't believe that anyone needs to "meet certain expectations" before being allowed to participate. It's actually the other way around.... you are invited to the Lord's table as you are, to receive God's grace which we believe is present in the sacrament.
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Post by Zee on Mar 4, 2023 16:24:00 GMT
At my cousin's wedding last May the priest simply said non-Catholics were welcome to come receive a blessing with their arms crossed.
I wouldn't go to a mosque or temple or other church and expect to participate in the entire thing, why should anyone expect to take communion in a Catholic church? Or even want to?
I did take communion for the first time in like 24 years. I figured if Uncle Jimmy could get away with it and not burst into flames, so could I. 🤣
I also have yet to meet any Catholic who literally believes in transubstantiation, but that's neither here nor there and I know those people exist just like there are serpent handlers and people who speak in tongues. Just never met one. It's all symbolism to me, and I enjoy that for what it is.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,955
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on Mar 4, 2023 16:30:49 GMT
I'm a non-practicing Catholic for many years. I understand and respect the beliefs of the Catholic church, but I have never heard that announced now or when I was practicing.
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caangel
Drama Llama
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Location: So Cal
Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on Mar 4, 2023 16:57:22 GMT
I did take communion for the first time in like 24 years. I figured if Uncle Jimmy could get away with it and not burst into flames, so could I. 🤣 My husband (an atheist heathen 😆) was part of my Catholic Church's choir with me for several years. There was one visiting priest who DH would always joke was trying to exorcize the devil out of him because the priest's blessing (tracing a cross on his forehead) was done very aggressively. 😆
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Post by Merge on Mar 4, 2023 17:08:34 GMT
Back in the day, in the small town church we attended when visiting my mom’s family, everyone knew who was likely not in a “state of grace,” and would send death glares at them if they went up for communion.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Mar 4, 2023 17:25:19 GMT
Like you, I grew up Catholic and never heard that. I no longer consider myself to be Catholic and haven’t gone to mass the last 20 or more years except for weddings but can see how this would be offensive to visitors. However, would non-Catholics go up for communion anyway? I wouldn’t go to communion in a non-Catholic church. I’m also curious about “good standing”.
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dantemia
Full Member
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Jun 27, 2014 19:28:17 GMT
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Post by dantemia on Mar 4, 2023 17:53:58 GMT
So at our church they only make the announcement to come up for a blessing if it’s a mass that there would be more guests than usual , like a confirmation or wedding. However, they don’t talk about being a catholic in good standing.
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RosieKat
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Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Mar 4, 2023 19:09:18 GMT
So glad I became Protestant where everyone is welcome. I just feel like it's fair to point out that it's not because of unwelcomeness, or because the Catholic church doesn't believe other religions take communion or religious celebration seriously - it is because of different theological beliefs. In general, Protestant churches believe communion is symbolic, while the Catholic church believes in transsubstantiation - the bread and wine literally becoming the Body and Blood of Christ. We can argue the validity of those beliefs all you want elsewhere, but it's not because Catholics are big meanies. The blessing offered is actually an attempt to be conciliatory to those who are not in good theological standing with the Catholic church. For the original question, I've heard it said at funerals, Easters, Christmas, etc. where you are likely to have a lot of non-Catholics or Catholics who are not in "good standing." I've also heard it at the occasional regular Mass if it is celebrated by one of the more theologically strict priests. I agree, it doesn't sound very nice, but I'm not sure how else you convey something that is a theological rule. You can say it apologetically, I suppose, but then, should someone have to apologize for the rules within their own "home?" If I visit a mosque, do I argue that I shouldn't have to take off my shoes just because I'm taking it seriously and really am respectful? I assume that most people with a religious practice take it at least moderately seriously, but you follow the rules of the practice you are sharing in. If you don't believe something, such as transubstantiation, you should not participate in that ritual or part of the celebration. You simply respectfully observe, share in the celebration, and participate in any prayers, etc. that you theologically agree with.
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Post by Tamhugh on Mar 4, 2023 20:04:58 GMT
I am a cradle Lutheran who grew up in a very Catholic area and have always heard this or something similar when I attended mass with friends. I always just knelt in prayer at my pew until communion was over.
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