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Post by doesitmatter on Jul 4, 2014 2:55:51 GMT
Poor dog... sounds like she may have needs greater than you have the patience or heart to provide. Please look into another home. Also seek a vet's advice about the quality of her life. It's not the dog's fault she was left behind  |
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esredhead
Junior Member
Posts: 76 
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Post by esredhead on Jul 4, 2014 3:56:01 GMT
Sorry I figure this would be taken wrong. I can't vent to my DH about this bc it was his sister who left the dog. DH brother is our vet and he says health wise she healthy just old. I know it isn't her fault and she is very attached to our daughter. But she is like a whiney kid. I never tolerated whining from my girls no way am i going to listen to it from a dog. I have no clue how to reteach her at this age.
Andrea
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
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Post by raindancer on Jul 4, 2014 3:58:28 GMT
I understand you are frustrated, but she is a dog, and you can change your perspective and attitude. Truly. Try compassion. Animals are extremely sensitive to compassion and love, and she sounds like she really needs it. In addition she is elderly, likely feeling old, and can't see. Try to see it from her perspective. She must feel so frightened and lonely so much of the time, and then lost. She may also suffer from some dementia and feel really lost and confused, so she cries and whines for help. Go help her. I spent 2 years with a blind, incontinent, demented and nearly fully deaf dog. It was hard, and we had moments of sheer frustration, and I won't say I didn't cry some days when I came home and had to mop again. But please love her and give her some kindness in the end of her life. You will be richly rewarded I swear.
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Jul 4, 2014 4:02:47 GMT
I'm not an animal person, myself so I could see how this might send you over the deep end.
Do you have to keep her? If your sil isn't coming back for her, maybe it's time to start checking out shelters.
I didn't take it wrong. I know you aren't going to hurt the dog. No one who has that many animals in her home could hurt one, lol. Hang in there.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
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Post by raindancer on Jul 4, 2014 4:03:06 GMT
Sorry I figure this would be taken wrong. I can't vent to my DH about this bc it was his sister who left the dog. DH brother is our vet and he says health wise she healthy just old. I know it isn't her fault and she is very attached to our daughter. But she is like a whiney kid. I never tolerated whining from my girls no way am i going to listen to it from a dog. I have no clue how to reteach her at this age. Andrea Maybe you need to learn something new instead of her.  |
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
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Post by mlana on Jul 4, 2014 5:12:25 GMT
I understand where you are coming from.
I have an elderly dog that I and my family dearly love, but there are days where he is driving me crazy. He has Senior Dog Dementia and he compulsively paces around the house, circling the entire house by sliding between the walls and whatever might be against them. He is constantly getting stuck in tight places or in corners because he has completely lost all concept of moving backwards. The constant pacing aggravates his arthritis, so, despite the arthritis medication he is on, he often has to take pain medication, which sometimes makes him incontinent.
He has never been able to be left alone, but he can no longer go to doggy daycare for any length of time because he either hurts from being on his feet or gets aggressive with the other dogs when they brush against him. Grooming has become a problem because he can't stand on 3 legs while the groomer grooms the 4 th leg. There are days I could scream, like when he pees on the floor just as we come in from his walk.
But I don't scream at him, just like I'm sure you don't scream or mistreat your new pet. Instead, I find new ways of managing his care. I'm going to buy a playpen this weekend to keep him from pacing and from getting stuck. I've bought pee pads and, yes, diapers, to handle those days when he loses control. We carry him up and down all stairs, and we have pillows and extra doggy beds all over the house so he can sleep comfortably wherever his legs give out. My bed is outlined in fabric that contrasts with the spread so he can see the edges. Just in case, there are pillows along the side he sometimes falls off.
Can you get stairs for her to get back on the bed? Or can you work with her to train her to sleep on a bed beside your DD's? I'm assuming she isn't crate trained, but have you tried putting a crate in the room so she has a den to go to? When Sumo is feeling anxious, he gets between our toilet and the wall; this has been his safe place since we first adopted him.
I hope you are able to find a solution that works for you and your family. It is a terrible feeling to be angry at a helpless animal; it leaves you feeling nasty and guilty deep inside. But it's really hard to balance the demands of life with the pet's increasing dependency. I think it's much easier for me because Sumo was the chosen and beloved pet of my kids' childhood; your pet was thrust on you and you didn't get a choice and have no real history with the animal. Please vent when you need to, I certainly won't think poorly of you for being human.
Marcy
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 20, 2024 1:08:46 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2014 5:19:42 GMT
Try a set of stairs by the bed. That is what I did when it was hard for my old cat to jump on the bed. Worked just fine.
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esredhead
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Post by esredhead on Jul 4, 2014 5:23:12 GMT
Sorry I figure this would be taken wrong. I can't vent to my DH about this bc it was his sister who left the dog. DH brother is our vet and he says health wise she healthy just old. I know it isn't her fault and she is very attached to our daughter. But she is like a whiney kid. I never tolerated whining from my girls no way am i going to listen to it from a dog. I have no clue how to reteach her at this age.
Andrea
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Jul 4, 2014 5:38:48 GMT
Let me say first I love all animals well except spiders. But I swear I am about to punt kick this ^%$&*^%)*&%&(^$&^%#%$ dog to ten buck two 
Long story short my sister in law and her son where homeless almost 2 years ago. We went and got them and let them live here. We had 8 people,4 dogs 2 cats and 3 guinea pigs living in a 3 bedroom small house. Well fast forward they moved out and left her F$%^KING dog. This dog is something like 18 years old blind in one eye and can't see out of the other. She has attached her self to my daughter. and if 100% of Katlin's attention isn't on her(the Dog) she whines, yaps, and does this nerve grating high pitch bitch bark. I am so close to killing it. I didn't even have these feelings when I found out my ex was cheating on me.
I feel horrible about how I feel but this dog is pushing all my buttons. She sleeps with my daughter who sleeps like the dead, well she either falls off the bed or jumps and then she gets pissed bc she can't get back up. So she does the bitch bark for hours I can hear her through 2 doors and i sleep with ear buds playing music.
So if I end up going off the deep end and I take this dog with me I might need an alibi.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Andrea
Okay..first off, take a deep breath.  I get what you're saying, completely. Rationally, you know this pooch isn't doing this to you but that doesn't make it easier to deal with. Hang in there. I think your negative feelings for you sil has been transferred to her dog. Try and separate the two and know this dog just wants acceptance and love...she proably senses that her time is short. If she really is 18, it won't be long before she leaves you anyway. If you can, take time for yourself to regroup. Helping a dog pass from this life is a real honor if you let it be. Hang in thers. |
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Post by scrapsuzy on Jul 4, 2014 8:50:36 GMT
Being very honest here: I probably would talk to the vet about her quality of life and the situation and would seriously consider whether or not it was time to put her to sleep or not. Probably not a popular opinion here, but as much as I love my animals (3 cats and a dog), there are limits. (And yes, I've had a senior dog before, adopted him as a senior from the shelter and loved him for the 3 years we were allowed before cancer took him.)
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Post by leftturnonly on Jul 4, 2014 9:05:38 GMT
If you were allowed to sleep through the night, I bet you would be a whole lot less frustrated.
If it's that important for the dog to sleep on the bed with your dd, I think I'd put up rails like you can buy for children's beds, so the dog can't roll off. If the dog has to pee, maybe some diapers before bedtime? IDK
Big cushions or pillows on the floor by the bed, along with steps up (if no rail) and some kind of night light may make the dog a little more comfortable.... and if so, adding a nice ticking clock and a cozy stuffed animal may make it feel more secure. (I'm thinking puppy here.)
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
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Post by M in Carolina on Jul 4, 2014 9:05:58 GMT
I agree with scrapsuzy. I've been there with ancient dogs, and a mom that let them suffer way too much because she couldn't let them go. The dog's not happy barking on the floor for hours at night. You can't get up every 5 minutes, either. You need sleep.
I have a 20lb cat that is the definition of needy. He has never gotten enough attention and petting. He'll lie down beside you and want you to rub him. If you stop, say to fall asleep, he rubs his wet nose on your hand and rubs drool on you He's not sick or anything, he's just confused. He thinks he's a dog. He annoys our old girl cat sometimes by not leaving her alone.
We're all patient and love this cat to death, but I tell you, this cat would wear the patience off of JOB! So I get it. I know you'd never do anything to the animal, but we're human, not perfect. I get that it's annoying as all get out at 3am. I'm sure your neighbors aren't thrilled, either.
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Southern Side eyed Pea