breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,459 
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on May 12, 2023 13:05:19 GMT
And then I'm done. Someone else will be treasurer (my 2 years are up, much to their annoyance it's a state PTA law that I can't just do it "one more year") and I've turned down being secretary, spirit wear chair, and legislative (twice) I don't know who keeps suggesting me for that, I am not political and it is so not me it's not funny.
I had one teacher say she'd miss me like I was not still going to be alive next year... Yes, my kid is only going to be in 4th grade. Yes, I'm done. I've bitten my tongue and just say I can't commit to anything right now and walk away.
Our current executive board, and our next year's executive board and I do not click. I don't know what it is, but I have actually ducked behind a tree to avoid next year's VP. When you start fantasizing about moving just so you don't have to PTA anymore, it's time to step back.
Seven more weeks... and then all the notebooks, and paperwork, and reminding people money needs to be counted, and going over my head to "ask Mary Sue" who hasn't been at the school since 2017 whether we can have a bounce house at the carnival (we can't they're doing it anyway), "why can't we have board meetings?" When we're currently in a board meeting, will be someone else's problem.
I'm so done.
This is a vent. Please don't find Mary Sue and tell on me.
ETA: I've been on the board in some capacity since 2016. Wow that seems like forever ago...
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Post by mikklynn on May 12, 2023 13:19:27 GMT
It sounds like a thankless job. I've done too many thankless volunteer jobs. Stick to your guns and be done!
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,295
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Post by iowgirl on May 12, 2023 13:22:58 GMT
Oh how I remember those days! People who step up and actually do things are very under appreciated! So many are just "too busy" to serve on anything. Guess what, everyone is equally as busy. But they are the first to complain about things.
I tried to serve and help when my kids were young. The frustration is real!
I think having a 2 year limit is a wonderful thing. Sometimes you get locked into something, with no way out unless you flat out quit entirely!
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Post by Merge on May 12, 2023 13:50:33 GMT
Thank you for doing this difficult job. DH put in his two years and it was A LOT. It’s important, though.
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Post by 950nancy on May 12, 2023 13:52:53 GMT
Our PTA has been around all week for Teacher Appreciation Week. They have been amazing. Just know there are plenty of staff who see what you do and are thankful for your two years.
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Post by epeanymous on May 12, 2023 14:07:43 GMT
I went to a half-dozen PTA meetings when my oldest started elementary school and figured out pretty quickly that I wasn't going to make it. I know people need to do the volunteer work, and I really appreciate people like you who have stuck with it as long as you have!
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 12, 2023 15:22:48 GMT
DH and I wanted to get involved with the PTA but the lady who is in charge at our school wants to micromanage every single thing they take on and refuses to delegate anything, so what would be the point? And to make things worse, she’s running herself ragged trying to do it all and ends up doing a half assed job of pretty much everything. I recently had a conversation with one of the handful of people who is trying to help out and she said it’s pointless because the lead woman won’t even listen to anyone else’s ideas. As a result they recently did a “pick a prize” fundraiser raffle and asked for donations for various themed prize baskets. Except none of the items they suggested people donate matched up with the stated category themes for the baskets they were planning to offer.    And they were stupid themes too that would only appeal to a very small demographic. It made absolutely no sense. As a result, of the 12 or so baskets being offered none of them contained anything that we were interested in winning so we didn’t buy any of the raffle tickets. We did donate several nice items valued at around $100 total so we did contribute, we just didn’t want to buy tickets to win the things we personally donated. |
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,708
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on May 12, 2023 15:37:05 GMT
I've got 3000 mini bags of chips in my guest room right now for the HS and Middle school needing to be packed up as finals snacks. 😳
I'm also counting down but it's 4 more years and 1 month when both my kids will be out of HS. Except for one instance I've been very lucky with all the people I've worked with over the years. And the one issue we managed to get rid of the person (supported by the principal) with in the first month of school and it has only become more evident that they were toxic and unwell.
I've just resigned my self to the fact that I'm "that" PTA mom and I own it. But I'm also excited to be done when the time comes. I've transitioned a lot of volunteer roles (not just PTA) and I feel I do a good job of being supportive but not being a crutch for the new person or being undermining. Working on my exit plan already. I'm going into my second yr as President of the HS PTA so the hard job will be done and hoping to coast a little. I actually really enjoy doing treasure but it is a LOT more work at elementary (I've done elementary and middle). The book fair coins just killed me!
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Post by Basket1lady on May 12, 2023 16:59:48 GMT
It’s the best feeling in the world to let go of a big job like that. Stick to the plan!
I was the booster club president (except we couldn’t legally call it a booster club) for almost 3 years for the performing arts HS’s theatre program. DD’s senior year, I announced that I was stepping down. There was a lot of, “but you’ll still help, right?” and “what will we do without you”, but I stuck to my guns. I ended up with a lot of vision issues that next year and that gave me a great excuse to decline all pleas for help. The shows still went on, but I have no idea that chaos reigned. But that was someone else’s problem!
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,459
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on May 12, 2023 16:59:50 GMT
I've got 3000 mini bags of chips in my guest room right now for the HS and Middle school needing to be packed up as finals snacks. 😳 I'm also counting down but it's 4 more years and 1 month when both my kids will be out of HS. Except for one instance I've been very lucky with all the people I've worked with over the years. And the one issue we managed to get rid of the person (supported by the principal) with in the first month of school and it has only become more evident that they were toxic and unwell. I've just resigned my self to the fact that I'm "that" PTA mom and I own it. But I'm also excited to be done when the time comes. I've transitioned a lot of volunteer roles (not just PTA) and I feel I do a good job of being supportive but not being a crutch for the new person or being undermining. Working on my exit plan already. I'm going into my second yr as President of the HS PTA so the hard job will be done and hoping to coast a little. I actually really enjoy doing treasure but it is a LOT more work at elementary (I've done elementary and middle). The book fair coins just killed me! That's funny, I just picked up the book fair money to take it to the bank this morning (finally got someone to count it...) and $17 in change weighs a ton! |
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Post by bossymom on May 12, 2023 17:02:50 GMT
I finished my 20 year PTA tenure last year. I feel your relief.
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Post by nightnurse on May 12, 2023 17:53:07 GMT
I’ve been out of pta for four years and was never as heavily involved as you. We had someone come to our meeting to complain that we didn’t communicate well enough and she thought the pta should send out a newsletter. Our pta president said “what a great idea, you can be in charge of that!” The suggester was stunned and appalled, all “I’m too busy for that.” Yup, us, too.
You have done more than your fair share already.
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Post by lurker on May 12, 2023 18:03:03 GMT
You can tell I don't have kids as, when I read PTA, my mind went to Physical Therapy and I wondered what happened to @breetheflea!
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Post by Darcy Collins on May 12, 2023 18:36:10 GMT
I had such a tough time when I tried to volunteer as treasurer - they just had no concept of typical financial controls. I just could not handle it - at one point I went home with thousands of dollars in cash from a carnival and could not comprehend why anyone thought that was ok.
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Post by monklady123 on May 12, 2023 19:26:05 GMT
And then I'm done. Someone else will be treasurer (my 2 years are up, much to their annoyance it's a state PTA law that I can't just do it "one more year") and I've turned down being secretary, spirit wear chair, and legislative (twice) I don't know who keeps suggesting me for that, I am not political and it is so not me it's not funny. I had one teacher say she'd miss me like I was not still going to be alive next year... Yes, my kid is only going to be in 4th grade. Yes, I'm done. I've bitten my tongue and just say I can't commit to anything right now and walk away.
Our current executive board, and our next year's executive board and I do not click. I don't know what it is, but I have actually ducked behind a tree to avoid next year's VP. When you start fantasizing about moving just so you don't have to PTA anymore, it's time to step back. Seven more weeks... and then all the notebooks, and paperwork, and reminding people money needs to be counted, and going over my head to "ask Mary Sue" who hasn't been at the school since 2017 whether we can have a bounce house at the carnival (we can't they're doing it anyway), "why can't we have board meetings?" When we're currently in a board meeting, will be someone else's problem. I'm so done. This is a vent. Please don't find Mary Sue and tell on me. ETA: I've been on the board in some capacity since 2016. Wow that seems like forever ago... Keep repeating that part that I bolded. Over and over, as needed. I did the whole PTA thing for the entire time that my ds was in elementary (although not always in a major role like yours is). The year after he graduated from 5th was my dd's 3rd grade year. I went to her teacher (who ds had also had, and who I was very friendly with) and told her that I was DONE with PTA, not looking back, never doing another thing with them. But, I would always be available to her for anything she needed. She just rolled her eyes and said "good for you!" (we'd had all sorts of PTA issues over the previous several years.) lol pssst.... I emailed Mary Sue and she wants to speak to you.   |
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Post by monklady123 on May 12, 2023 19:31:47 GMT
I had such a tough time when I tried to volunteer as treasurer - they just had no concept of typical financial controls. I just could not handle it - at one point I went home with thousands of dollars in cash from a carnival and could not comprehend why anyone thought that was ok. Omg, I remember one year when dh was treasurer, I arrived at the spring fair to do my volunteer stint. As I walked down the hall one of the ticket sellers called me over, reached into her cash box, and handed me fistfuls of money!  She just said "could you give this to your dh, I don't want it just laying around". Fortunately I was wearing a fanny pack so I could stuff it in there out of sight. But she had absolutely NO idea how much she handed me. I told dh that it was a good thing he and I were both honest! He was horrified of course, and before he finished his two-year term he managed to get some better procedures in place. |
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,564
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Post by MerryMom on May 13, 2023 0:18:11 GMT
I validate you!
Signed,
6 years PTO officer (4 were as Treasurer)
8 years Book Fair chair
5 years Room Parent
6 years Track & Field Booster rep
12 years Cub Scout leader/Boy Scout Assistant Scoutmaster
while working a full time job in child protective services
Not Mary Sue
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,917
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on May 13, 2023 2:32:25 GMT
I was involved in the PTA at every school level for almost 20 years.
I would say 99 percent of the time it was great. But that one percent? Whoo-boy. Like when a dad on the board said to the room filled with women in a condescending tone: "well, ladies, I come from a business background..." and one of the other board members snapped "and I went to the London School of Economics, what's your point?" Actually, I kind of loved that moment haha.
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,708
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on May 13, 2023 5:02:03 GMT
I was involved in the PTA at every school level for almost 20 years. I would say 99 percent of the time it was great. But that one percent? Whoo-boy. Like when a dad on the board said to the room filled with women in a condescending tone: "well, ladies, I come from a business background..." and one of the other board members snapped "and I went to the London School of Economics, what's your point?" Actually, I kind of loved that moment haha. That is similar to the "issue" we had. Someone coming into mansplain to a VERY seasoned group of volunteers how to do things. It got really bad quickly as the person was in a high position but we were able to cut the person loose a month or so into the school year. We all suffered from some PTSD several months following. Thankfully our principal was wonderful but it was also his very first year as a principal. What a start to the school year! |
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,295
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Post by iowgirl on May 13, 2023 14:39:38 GMT
Our pta president said “what a great idea, you can be in charge of that!” The suggester was stunned and appalled, all “I’m too busy for that.” Yup, us, too. I used that approach a lot, when someone complained. It was always a person who never volunteered because they were "too busy". People do have valid suggestions, but if they are not willing to at least help a little - go away. LOL |
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Post by ferblover on May 13, 2023 14:53:21 GMT
One of the best feelings was the day I turned all of the treasurer stuff over to the next person after several years of being on the board. Enjoy that day!!
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Post by monklady123 on May 13, 2023 17:52:55 GMT
Our pta president said “what a great idea, you can be in charge of that!” The suggester was stunned and appalled, all “I’m too busy for that.” Yup, us, too. I used that approach a lot, when someone complained. It was always a person who never volunteered because they were "too busy". People do have valid suggestions, but if they are not willing to at least help a little - go away. LOL This works well in churches also. Person to the pastor: "We should do xyz!" Pastor to person: "Excellent idea! Would you write up a plan and get back to me about how you'll implement it?" Crickets from Person. hahahaha |
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
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Post by peaname on May 13, 2023 19:32:35 GMT
Someday your student will understand how difficult serving in this capacity is and think you’re a hero. My grandpa served on the PTA and it was shared at his funeral!
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And they were stupid themes too that would only appeal to a very small demographic. It made absolutely no sense. As a result, of the 12 or so baskets being offered none of them contained anything that we were interested in winning so we didn’t buy any of the raffle tickets. We did donate several nice items valued at around $100 total so we did contribute, we just didn’t want to buy tickets to win the things we personally donated.
She just said "could you give this to your dh, I don't want it just laying around". Fortunately I was wearing a fanny pack so I could stuff it in there out of sight. But she had absolutely NO idea how much she handed me. I told dh that it was a good thing he and I were both honest! He was horrified of course, and before he finished his two-year term he managed to get some better procedures in place.
