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Nov 24, 2024 3:31:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 15:39:11 GMT
Do the right thing. Your sister is being a bitch.  |
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Deleted
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Nov 24, 2024 3:31:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 16:18:25 GMT
Good grief. I came on the board today and wondered how a thread about a chair got to six pages...then I read the OP. Now this? The selfishness of some people never ceases to amaze.
OP: Personally, I would be as diplomatic as possible when dealing with your sister. I wouldn't let her have the table...but there's no reason to cause more drama than necessary because that would affect your mom even more adversely.
I know that it may not help the situation, but then I would rest easy knowing that I had done everything possible to keep my mom from being even more upset.
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Post by mommaho on Dec 12, 2014 16:20:26 GMT
I understand your situation - it's Mom's table. So many times elderly parents just try to keep the peace even it is at their loss. I agree with everyone else - your Mom is using the table, when/if the time comes when she isn't using it any longer your sister can have the table shipped to her at her expense.
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Post by ilikepink on Dec 12, 2014 17:38:09 GMT
Threads like this make me glad I'm an only child.
Stand up for mom!
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Nov 24, 2024 3:31:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 17:40:36 GMT
Threads like this make me glad I'm an only child. Stand up for mom! LOL! Threads like this make me wish I were an only child! I don't have a problem with my mom or a mother-in-law, but I am having problems with a couple of sisters. Makes me appreciate my drama-free brothers a lot more! |
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Post by maryland on Dec 12, 2014 17:47:51 GMT
I am on your moms side. It's her table now. How could your sister do that to her 87 yr. old parent? Why can't she just buy a new table for her new kitchen in her basement? Or get one at Goodwill if money is an issue? We got our kitchen table at Kmart 16 yrs. ago for about $80 and we still use it. We have three girls, and there is no way we would get an expensive kitchen table while they still live at home. And our table is "light" and brightens up the kitchen, so I am fine with it.
Tell your mom that we are on her side!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 17:48:21 GMT
the damage is already done. mom feels bad and sisters behavior has tainted the table. I wish mom could keep the table and the sister buggers off.
Sorry you have this crap to deal with while you still have your mom.
Annette |
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Post by maryland on Dec 12, 2014 17:51:48 GMT
I am amazed at how many people keep their mouth shut to keep the peace with spoiled, rotten assholes. We have a spoiled bitch in my extended family. The rest of the family caters to her. I dont. I've been told time and time again that I should take the high road and that is just how she is, hut I refuse to let her treat our family members the way she does without saying anything. They are trying to keep the peace, I guess, but all it does is cause hurt feelings. So, op, that is my long winded way of telling you tell your sister she is being a bitch. Thank you! I agree! Why would people want to keep the peace with family members acting like jerks. By doing so, the jerk "wins" and will continue acting that way to get what she/he wants. I would do the right thing no matter what the sister thinks. |
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Post by annabella on Dec 12, 2014 18:08:44 GMT
Why can't you explain this to your sister in a calm manner?
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by tduby1 on Dec 12, 2014 19:00:36 GMT
How does sister justify this is her table?
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
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Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Dec 12, 2014 19:36:55 GMT
[Disclaimer: As an only child, I do not have first-hand experience dealing with siblings.] My suggestion is to call your sister to discuss the table after the holidays. Since she is a narcissist, I would simply state that your mother legally owns the table. Since your mother is currently using the table, it isn't available to your sister or anyone else at this time. Best wishes...
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Anita
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Location: Kansas City -ish
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Post by Anita on Dec 12, 2014 19:48:05 GMT
I'd make sure she got the table back. Of course it wouldn't resemble a table anymore. More like a pile of mulch. But I'm a bitch that way.
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Post by Dictionary on Dec 12, 2014 20:11:31 GMT
Well yes your sister is being the butthead of the family and as so many other peas have stated, just go buy her one at Target or Walmart and have it shipped as a Christmas gift.
I would just tell her that you and your brother decided she deserved a new table so Merry Christmas. 
BTW - Don't call and ask her just do it and then tell her or better yet don't tell her and let her call and Thank you after it shows up.  |
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georgiapea
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Post by georgiapea on Dec 12, 2014 21:12:28 GMT
That's the pits. I think I would say to my mom, "We will try to work it so you get to keep your table, but just in case we are unsuccessful, let's plan an alternative". Then I'd take her to a store I'd already scoped out and show her a couple of really spiffy tables. She might even decide she would prefer the new, cute table instead of the older one.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Dec 13, 2014 1:39:34 GMT
I don't understand how some people live without a spine. Being a doormat for hateful people is not taking the high road nor is it keeping the peace. I learned early on in my life that others treat you as you allow. Your sister lives 1000 miles away, what exactly is she going to do? I would tell her she is welcome to the table when mom is gone. I would also make her pay to ship it. The LAST thing I would do is buy her a replacement with my own money to keep the peace. That's crazy talk.
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AmeliaBloomer
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Dec 13, 2014 13:58:12 GMT
Oh, great. Now I have a stranger's table to fret about, in addition to another stranger's chair.
New rule: all familysquabblefurniture threads MUST be updated.
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Post by ihaveonly1l on Dec 13, 2014 14:27:17 GMT
I'd have to say something...but I lack self control when it comes to stupidity.
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Post by BeckyTech on Dec 13, 2014 14:30:32 GMT
I think I'm going to give my sister an extra hug when I see her next week.
It's time to go all momma-bear and advocate for your mom. I would. I would probably say something like "Trying to take that table from our 87-year-old mom is just petty. I don't care how bad you think you were treated as a kid, I thought you were better than that. The table stays. Period. And don't you dare say anything more to mom about it or I'll come out there and rip your liver out. Merry Christmas!"
I might also check into the possibility of blocking calls from sis to your mom temporarily.
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eleezybeth
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Post by eleezybeth on Dec 13, 2014 14:53:57 GMT
I'm bothered by her entitlement because she has MS. Momma is 87! How long has this child been manipulating her mother? When mom dies, table is hers. Of course I'd be tempted to write her name with a can of spray paint....
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Post by maryland on Dec 13, 2014 17:17:27 GMT
There is no way I would buy sister a new table! She can buy her own. She isn't acting nicely and should not be "rewarded" with a new table. If I had extra money to spend on a new table, I would donate it instead of giving it to a selfish sister.
But I have never had any issues with my brother or sil and my husband hasn't had issues like this with his sister or bil. I don't know how families deal with issues like this. I see this behavior with young children, but can't imagine an adult acting like this.
Thinking about you and your mom, and hope that your sister realizes what she is doing and apologizes to your mom.
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Post by anniefb on Dec 13, 2014 17:46:28 GMT
I agree - tell your sister the table is your Mom's and sorry she can't have it. I just cannot comprehend how someone would demand something like this from their 87 year old mother. If your sister wants a new table, order a cheap one from a place near where she lives and have it delivered.
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scrapnnana
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Post by scrapnnana on Dec 13, 2014 20:02:23 GMT
Your sister is nuts. She has already gotten the value of her husband's work out of it. She gave it up willingly years ago at a time it meant nothing to her.
She is a manipulative, selfish little twit. She is not entitled to the table.
Is it possible that the table, though inexpensive when first purchased, has value now as an antique? Is it solid wood? If so, what kind?
I am betting there is more behind her wanting THAT table than just the fact her DH spent so much time and energy on it years ago.
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moodyblue
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Post by moodyblue on Dec 13, 2014 20:10:07 GMT
Just explain that your mother is very attached to that table, it belongs to her, and you are making sure that she can keep it for as long as she wants. And your sister should not upset and stress an 87-year-old over this so if she has any response, it should be directly to you and not your mother.
I see no reason to buy your sister another table; that's her responsibility and would possibly imply that you are agreeing that she has some right to "a table" from the family.
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Post by momof3pits on Dec 13, 2014 20:11:58 GMT
Sometimes, I really just don't understand the nerve of people. I do agree that you should handle things with your sister but in a calm rational mature way.
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Post by mirabelleswalker on Dec 13, 2014 20:18:08 GMT
Stand up for your mom. The table is hers.
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kate
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Post by kate on Dec 13, 2014 20:27:08 GMT
Here's another vote for buying your sis a table for Christmas. You have the perfect excuse, since she can't come get it.  "Didn't want you to go without a table in your new kitchenette, so here ya go!" I'm sure you can get one from Target or Ikea that has similar dimensions to your mom's table. |
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"Didn't want you to go without a table in your new kitchenette, so here ya go!" I'm sure you can get one from Target or Ikea that has similar dimensions to your mom's table.