PSA How to address a transgender individual

never hurts to remind people!!!

happy pride month

My son's girlfriend is trans. Maybe she's unusual but she is very laid back about this.
I have to say when I see what some say about Trans people publicly I really hurt on her behalf. I honestly thought we were at a stage in our evolution where we take people as they are, how they behave etc- not on their skin colour,sexuality, religious or political beliefs or gender.If only!

It may mean they simply don't wish to be slotted into one box, so to speak.  They want to be free to do as they wish with no pre-conceived gender-based expectations.

Of course it may also mean quite a bit more than that, instead. 

Perhaps a chat with your niece might shed more light, or perhaps Jasper has given all the info they wish to give at the moment, and they may share more in the future.  If I were your niece, and someone respectfully & kindly asked me if I could offer more info, I'd be fine with that, so long as the person asking was fine with it if my answer was that there was no more info I could give at the moment. 

You are confirming what I decided--that Jasper was fluid in sexuality. I also wondered if she just is not sure yet. I plan to just "go with the flow."

Many years ago I told someone that unless I planned to have sex with __ it was not really a concern of mine, and I think that holds true for this situation as well. (Someone wanted me to speculate about whether XX was gay or not.)

No worries. Just call them Jasper and tag along if you want. 

I have 4 super woke daughters who have asked me so many times "what does it matter?" that I've taken that on now as a kind of mantra "does this matter to me? Does this change how I feel about this person? What difference does it make?" 

My daughter was recently married by someone who is exploring their gender. This person is generally male presenting (assigned male at birth and wears a mustache and beard) but wore a dress to officiate their wedding. Did it matter? No. Did it change how I felt about this person? No. What difference did it make? None - they did a great job at officiating. 

I don't think it's as simple as the OP. You can't presume to know how they're "presenting" and that's what confuses people.

I find it's safest to leave any hint of gender out of it though it can still be easy to get tripped up despite our best intentions...

My niece changed her name to a different female sounding name and still looks like a female but now goes by they but has a girlfriend who is she not they... Forgive us old people for getting confused from time to time!

Just wanted to pop in and say that the gender-neutral term for a niece or nephew is nibling and I love that so much!

I have a non-binary kid and a non-binary nibling. My non-binary kid has a non-binary personfriend and we're still trying to figure out the best word for them. Right now "partner" is the default but that sounds so much more serious than boyfriend or girlfriend.

Interesting.

I've always called young ones in my family "Niblets" - which are small kernels of corn.

I’ve transitioned (ha! See what I did there?😂 god I’m a dork) to using they for pretty much anyone I’m talking about that I don’t really know. And even people I do know actually, in third party conversation. It’s actually really nice not being gendered in conversation I’ve found, it takes away quite a few expectations and biases. And since I don’t know these people enough to know what they prefer they is a great catch all.

I didn’t realize how much I’d enjoy a gender neutral pronoun, even though I’m not gender neutral at all. So thanks kids, I fell into the habit after my daughter started using it for everyone and I really like it.

I am open to respecting people’s wishes but I have such a hard time with using they because it doesn’t sound grammatically correct.

When does Tory graduate?
They graduate on Thursday.

I’m much more likely to say Tory graduates on Thursday so i can get around sounding wrong.

Here on the board, as far as I know, people are referred to by their screen name. It seems to me, 75% or so don't have a photo, so who's to know, or in my case care?

He's told you he's trans, his name and his pronouns. That's what you need to know. How he chooses to dress doesn't determine his gender. We need to stop making gender assumptions based on appearance, period.