lindas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,277
Jun 26, 2014 5:46:37 GMT
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Post by lindas on Jul 3, 2023 21:28:30 GMT
I wouldn’t take an 18 mo old to a movie theater no matter how good they were. Theaters are loud and it’s not good for their little ears.
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Post by morecowbell on Jul 3, 2023 21:30:00 GMT
“…we’re prepared to make a break for it if he acts up,” If you had simply said that, another attempt at the important point, instead of all of the other stuff you WERE able to get out, it would have calmed their concern and put an end to it. IF it didn't and they continued, there would've been no question who was the asshole and this would be a very different thread. It doesn’t sound like they were really even give a chance. Once someone starts on a rant for absolutely no reason my tolerance to trying to explain (Which the op was in the beginning of the conversation) diminishes quickly. All would have been explained if the over the top complainer had tried to have a conversation/discussion rather then forcing their own judgments of what is correct behavior and what is not. And you are correct, if they hadn’t taken the child out when they became disruptive this would be a completely different thread…as it should be. I think you misunderstood what I said. She had enough time after being cut off the first time, to say “…we’re prepared to make a break for it if he acts up,”* *If she had simply said that, another attempt at the important point **, instead of all of the other stuff she WAS able to get out, it probably would have calmed their concern and put an end to it.
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Post by smasonnc on Jul 3, 2023 21:38:11 GMT
If you had simply said that, another attemt at the important point, instead of all of the other stuff you WERE able to get out, it would have calmed their concern and put an end to it. The only one having a tantrum in the theater was her. The fact that she left and I didn't have to worry about her spouting off anymore was actually a relief. She seemed annoyed to start with because none of us got to see the movie we came to see. The rest of us didn't find it necessary to be snotty to the manager when the projector didn't work in the first movie. I have four kids. When they were little, we went to the movies, restaurants, child-appropriate theater productions, and sporting events. They were expected to behave and they did. If they were disruptive, we took them out for a walk, not wishing to impose on others' enjoyment. My son and daughter-in-law have similar standards. I don't like going to movies, plays, or restaurants where people are ill-mannered, no matter how old they are so I act accordingly myself.
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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 3, 2023 21:47:36 GMT
I side eye people that bring babies to movies. It's just not the place for them and even if you get up and leave when the child acts up it's still very disruptive to those around you. I don't think theaters should sell tickets for children under a certain age because it's so disruptive to other paying customers.
A few weeks ago I went to see the Litte Mermaid. My first experience seeing a movie out since 2019. We went to a nice theater in a ritzy town and we had to pick our seats ahead of time. Everyone there to see the Disney movie was an adult except for the woman who sat next to me that brought her child who couldn't have been older than 2. That kid couldn't handle it and I don't blame her, it was loud and asking a little kid like that to sit still for so long is difficult for them. So this lady was up and down constantly throughout the movie every time the child got loud. I appreciated that she did that but she ruined my movie experience by having her child there and then the constant shuffling around when the child would cry. It was incredibly frustrating.
So while I don't think you were an asshole in this situation I do hope you realize that your choice to bring an 18 month old to a movie (Disney or not, adults love Disney movies) was obnoxious and you had the potential to ruin the movie for everyone else in the theater.
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Post by morecowbell on Jul 3, 2023 21:50:20 GMT
If you had simply said that, another attemt at the important point, instead of all of the other stuff you WERE able to get out, it would have calmed their concern and put an end to it. The only one having a tantrum in the theater was her. The fact that she left and I didn't have to worry about her spouting off anymore was actually a relief. She seemed annoyed to start with because none of us got to see the movie we came to see. The rest of us didn't find it necessary to be snotty to the manager when the projector didn't work in the first movie. I have four kids. When they were little, we went to the movies, restaurants, child-appropriate theater productions, and sporting events. They were expected to behave and they did. If they were disruptive, we took them out for a walk, not wishing to impose on others' enjoyment. My son and daughter-in-law have similar standards. I don't like going to movies, plays, or restaurants where people are ill-mannered, no matter how old they are so I act accordingly myself. I didn't say anything about a tantrum. Somehow the p got left out of the word "attempt". Sorry for the misunderstanding that may have caused. For the record, I don't think you were the asshole here, I just think that if you would have attempted to say the important point again instead of the other stuff you DID have time to say, it probably would have ended it, without any hard feelings.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,168
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Jul 3, 2023 22:04:21 GMT
ESH.
She shouldn’t have confronted you, but you shouldn’t have taken a 1.5yo. Getting up to take a child out is still disruptive to other people.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,583
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Jul 3, 2023 22:49:36 GMT
Children's movie, daytime showing, older sibling, nearly-empty theater... and you had a plan in place to deal with any fussing.
You're NTA.
I got really irritated at the opera when a group of 4 kids sitting directly in front of me got restless and loud. I was mad, because I'd paid for my tickets, too, yada yada. However, it was an abridged Magic Flute, marketed toward kids. Yes, I would have preferred the attending adults take the kids out sooner, but they were not jerks for bringing kids to a kids' production.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,580
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Jul 4, 2023 0:44:03 GMT
It's a kids movie. What does she expect, no kids of various ages? Like someone else said, I wouldn't pre complain. If the 18mo would have started crying and the adult didn't do anything to calm them, I would probably just walk out. Then again I don't like being confrontational of any sort. I’d have different expectations at a kids movie. The audience would have kids. Kids might be noisy You are not the a hole. My friend doesn’t go to theaters because she is sensitive to the risks of audience members being irritating She says the few times she has gone, she’s pissed before anything happens because she anticipates the disruptions before it happens. That sounds like the type of person you dealt with.
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Post by Lexica on Jul 4, 2023 0:44:12 GMT
All children are different. You know your own grandbabies and how they will respond in any given situation, unless they are sick. At 1 1/2, all it would take for my son is to be on my lap and he wouldn’t have caused a disturbance. He may have even fallen asleep. Unless it is a scary movie, a dark theater is relaxing for some little ones. If I made him sit in his own theater seat, he probably would have fussed. I think it is just a matter of knowing the child. And you said you planned on removing the child if they didn’t settle down so I think you were fine.
I have taken my son to a theater when he was little. Not on our own, but with my sister and his older cousins who wanted to see the movie. He slept through most of it while I held him. I brought a blanket and sippy cup of water and he was fine.
I flew with him when he was around that age or maybe a bit younger. When we were getting off the plane, a number of people commented that they didn’t even know there was a baby on the plane at all. One woman asked if I had “given him something” and when it was obvious that I didn’t understand, she said, “You know, some Benadryl or something.” Uh, no, I just held him on my lap. Maybe I was just fortunate that he was a quiet little guy.
My dog is the same way. He will fuss when I am standing and talking to someone but when I pick him up, he will settle down and just lay in my arms. I must have Benadryl infused arms.
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Post by lucyg on Jul 4, 2023 0:48:19 GMT
It doesn’t sound like they were really even give a chance. Once someone starts on a rant for absolutely no reason my tolerance to trying to explain (Which the op was in the beginning of the conversation) diminishes quickly. All would have been explained if the over the top complainer had tried to have a conversation/discussion rather then forcing their own judgments of what is correct behavior and what is not. And you are correct, if they hadn’t taken the child out when they became disruptive this would be a completely different thread…as it should be. I think you misunderstood what I said. She had enough time after being cut off the first time, to say “…we’re prepared to make a break for it if he acts up,”* *If she had simply said that, another attempt at the important point**, instead of all of the other stuff she WAS able to get out, it probably would have calmed their concern and put an end to it. I don’t think the OP was required to be polite and rational to someone who was being rude and aggressive toward her. I also don’t think anything would have calmed down the Karen besides a “yes, your highness,” along with an immediate, submissive exit.
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Post by gorgeouskid on Jul 4, 2023 0:52:05 GMT
My son was three when we took him to his first movie (Finding Nemo). We left about 10 minutes in when he said no more fishies. This was a matinee where we were maybe one of 10 in the theater.
I don't think you're the asshole. You had your limits and anticipated to leave should you have needed to.
That being said, I would never have taken an 18 month old to the theater.
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Post by smasonnc on Jul 4, 2023 1:01:24 GMT
For the record, I don't think you were the asshole here, I just think that if you would have attempted to say the important point again instead of the other stuff you DID have time to say, it probably would have ended it, without any hard feelings. That's the only reason I questioned it. I was rude back at her, but I didn't think it was my responsibility to appease someone who was having a go at me over something I hadn't done yet. It's kind of like when I walk into a restaurant and want to say, "You look like a New Yorker. Are you likely to talk really loudly during my dinner?" 😂 I had a lovely morning at the movies and both kids had a blast, whereas she's probably still pouting so it seems to have worked out in my favor. There seems to be a zero-tolerance policy among some of you for young kids at movies. Fair enough. I hope that parents will be considerate of how their kids behave and the rest of you will try to give parents some grace.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 4, 2023 1:46:13 GMT
Not the asshole, IMO. Under the circumstances you mentioned in the OP, it wouldn’t bother me one bit to have a kid that age at a daytime kid’s movie. While we didn’t take our kid to the movies at that age, we did take her plenty of other places since birth because we have no other option and she behaved appropriately for the setting. She was (and still is) very much a rule following, very quiet, chill kid. I completely understand from my lifetime of experiences around other kids that she is the exception and not the rule.
I will say what I find *most* annoying in a movie theater are the: 1) people who kick my freaking seat 2) people who talk and chatter all throughout the show 3) people who repeatedly pull out their phones (even on silent, the annoying screen lights turn on) 4) people who don’t put their damn phone on silent and almost all of those things are done by older kids and adults. I would also be annoyed by people dragging in blankets and pillows. If you need that level of comfort to see a movie, stay home.
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Post by compeateropeator on Jul 4, 2023 2:31:19 GMT
Just curious if all the people saying that getting up to take a kid out is still disruptive thinks the same thing about an adult who gets up to go to the bathroom or to get more snacks?
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Post by myshelly on Jul 4, 2023 4:18:54 GMT
Just curious if all the people saying that getting up to take a kid out is still disruptive thinks the same thing about an adult who gets up to go to the bathroom or to get more snacks? Yes. I literally don’t understand people who can’t sit quiet and still for the length of a movie.
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Post by MissBianca on Jul 4, 2023 5:14:13 GMT
Just curious if all the people saying that getting up to take a kid out is still disruptive thinks the same thing about an adult who gets up to go to the bathroom or to get more snacks? Yes. I literally don’t understand people who can’t sit quiet and still for the length of a movie. That’s why I don’t go to the movies, I never know when my restless leg syndrome will act up. I’ve had to leave numerous movies, plays and concerts because the seats make my legs twitch. We are very selective about which concerts to attend based on the seating and if I can reserve a seat on an aisle to minimize disruptions.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,168
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Jul 4, 2023 6:14:17 GMT
Just curious if all the people saying that getting up to take a kid out is still disruptive thinks the same thing about an adult who gets up to go to the bathroom or to get more snacks? TBH, yes. It’s not too hard to use a bathroom or buy snacks before it starts. But this is why I don’t go to the movies very often. The actions of all the people around me really take away my ability to immerse myself in the story, so I would much rather just watch it at home.
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Post by dewryce on Jul 4, 2023 10:42:53 GMT
Are we really saying people whose bladders won’t last during a 2-3 hour movie just shouldn’t go to the movies?
As for the OP, at a matinee I would expect small disruptions from children. As long as they were removed quickly it wouldn’t bother me too much if a child started crying.
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Post by compeateropeator on Jul 4, 2023 10:55:12 GMT
Just curious if all the people saying that getting up to take a kid out is still disruptive thinks the same thing about an adult who gets up to go to the bathroom or to get more snacks? TBH, yes. It’s not too hard to use a bathroom or buy snacks before it starts. But this is why I don’t go to the movies very often. The actions of all the people around me really take away my ability to immerse myself in the story, so I would much rather just watch it at home. Thanks for the reply. The snack one I could agree with, but using the bathroom I feel is legitimate. I may not have to go before the movie and unfortunately I am not one that can pee on command. 😉😄. So sometimes I just have to get up and go. As MissBianca said this is probably why I hesitate to go some places because I certainly don’t want to disturb or hinder someone’s experience, but sometimes it is just not that easy to conform to everyone’s expectations/hopes/wants and shit just happens. 😆 I agree with you where most times I would rather just watch it at home and not feel (or get the looks) like you are ruining someone’s experience.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jul 4, 2023 11:08:48 GMT
My son was three when we took him to his first movie (Finding Nemo). We left about 10 minutes in when he said no more fishies. This was a matinee where we were maybe one of 10 in the theater. I don't think you're the asshole. You had your limits and anticipated to leave should you have needed to. That being said, I would never have taken an 18 month old to the theater. This is the movie I thought of when I mentioned them killing off the parent immediately. My daughter was super young when it came out and her grandparents wanted to take her to the theater for her first movie. I refused as she was so young and super sensitive and I assumed it wouldn't work out. They put on the video when it came out and she was visiting and she didn't make it 10 minutes -they killed off mom and she started crying. Honestly is there a Disney movie that doesn't kill off a parent?
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Post by compeateropeator on Jul 4, 2023 11:22:53 GMT
My son was three when we took him to his first movie (Finding Nemo). We left about 10 minutes in when he said no more fishies. This was a matinee where we were maybe one of 10 in the theater. I don't think you're the asshole. You had your limits and anticipated to leave should you have needed to. That being said, I would never have taken an 18 month old to the theater. This is the movie I thought of when I mentioned them killing off the parent immediately. My daughter was super young when it came out and her grandparents wanted to take her to the theater for her first movie. I refused as she was so young and super sensitive and I assumed it wouldn't work out. They put on the video when it came out and she was visiting and she didn't make it 10 minutes -they killed off mom and she started crying. Honestly is there a Disney movie that doesn't kill off a parent? I say this with a lot of kids movies, as I was that kid that was very sensitive and usually couldn’t get past the trauma part of the movie. Bambi is the first one that I remember that just upset me so much. LILO and Stitch and Finding Nemo also make the list. The scene in one of the Toy Story movies where they are on the conveyor belt heading for the incinerator was another that, on a large screen in the movie theater, seemed overly scary for a kids movie.
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Post by hop2 on Jul 4, 2023 11:47:56 GMT
I personally wouldn’t have taken an 18 month old to a theater. Disney movie or not. BUT I have theater issues anyway. Just way too filthy for a child that is still constantly putting stuff in their mouths. Theaters are so gross. That woman was crazy to pre-complain. I mean you could have planned it for nap time and your grandchild naps easily. I have seen plenty of babies nap in movies and been astonished that the loud movie didn’t wake them up. At worst I might have been silently judgmental. I do not see the point of precomplaining before a problem even happens. I think you were right to not take her arguing- it’s not her business UNTIL the child acts up. People feel so entitled to butt into others lives lately. On a positive note, it seems she didn’t think you were old enough to be the grandma with her babysitter comment, obviously you looked great yesterday. However, I’m sure that woman is on a message board somewhere, being applauded for speaking up. Unless she embellished the story, no, she accosted them before anything ever happened. On that other message board I would at least have said everyone is the ss, because I’m sure she’d embellish an issue in there but still she should mind her own damn business. Like who goes around telling people what to do with 18 month olds who aren’t causing a problem anyway? I can’t think of a single time I’ve ever said anything to anyone without an issue occurring first. And even then you start with a stink eye look to see if they address the issue or not before saying something.
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Post by hop2 on Jul 4, 2023 11:57:56 GMT
Just curious if all the people saying that getting up to take a kid out is still disruptive thinks the same thing about an adult who gets up to go to the bathroom or to get more snacks? That depends, are they getting up and leaving from the middle of the row squeezing across in front of everyone making everyone stand up to let them pass? Then yes, I find that disruptive, wouldn’t say anything unless it got out of hand though. If you’re sitting on the end and get up quietly to slip out, no I doubt I’d notice.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 4, 2023 12:26:54 GMT
A thread like this is always endlessly entertaining to me. The vast differences in opinion generally surprise me - especially the ones that veer to being militant on the subject. Some folks must just live in a perpetual state of irritation.
Rather than addressing the specific issue here (in my opinion, you were not the a-hole), I’m giving a more global answer.
I see a general decline in people’s consideration for one another. I’ve come to expect some degree of poor behavior from people. A public venue like a movie theatre would be a prime example of that. I exercise my ability to enjoy the experience while filtering out the annoyances so that I get the good out of it rather than letting the bad color my mood and behavior.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,168
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Jul 4, 2023 12:50:45 GMT
Are we really saying people whose bladders won’t last during a 2-3 hour movie just shouldn’t go to the movies? I’m not sure if you’re talking about me, but no, I’m not saying that. We were asked if we think that’s disruptive, and I do. And I choose not to go to the movies very often because of it, but I don’t expect others to alter their behavior to suit me. I agree with what spongemom said, and I think this is part of the general decline in consideration. Walking out of something like this (with a set beginning and ending, where people are focused on the show), is almost as bad (to me) as walking out of a live performance. The difference is that this is only rude to the other members of the audience, where, during a live performance, it’s considered taboo because it’s also rude to the people on stage. Other things I find disruptive are people who browse their phones (because of the light from the screen) or people who talk to their friends. I find these things all happening more and more, so I just choose not to go at all, or go when there are likely to be very few people in the theater.
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Post by peasapie on Jul 4, 2023 13:19:48 GMT
It stands for “Am I The A$$hole?” I expect to see kids during the day at a kids movie. Would I personally take an 18 month old to a movie—no, but I knew at that age there was no way my kid would sit still. However, if I’m at a day time kids movie and other kids are there, it doesn’t bother me. Even if they react to the movie or say something out loud—they are young and learning and I’m more likely to think it’s cute than annoying. I get much more irritated by annoying adults who talk, text, get up several times, and do other disruptive behavior. I fully admit though—I hate going to a movie theater because of other people. So, my vote is no, you are not. Agreed. So many adults are much more disruptive than kids in movies with their loud talking, stinky food eating behavior. Obviously if a child starts to cry, their person isn’t going to just sit there doing nothing!
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Post by mollycoddle on Jul 4, 2023 13:35:24 GMT
A thread like this is always endlessly entertaining to me. The vast differences in opinion generally surprise me - especially the ones that veer to being militant on the subject. Some folks must just live in a perpetual state of irritation. Rather than addressing the specific issue here (in my opinion, you were not the a-hole), I’m giving a more global answer. I see a general decline in people’s consideration for one another. I’ve come to expect some degree of poor behavior from people. A public venue like a movie theatre would be a prime example of that. I exercise my ability to enjoy the experience while filtering out the annoyances so that I get the good out of it rather than letting the bad color my mood and behavior. Wise words.
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Post by smasonnc on Jul 4, 2023 14:02:01 GMT
Just curious if all the people saying that getting up to take a kid out is still disruptive thinks the same thing about an adult who gets up to go to the bathroom or to get more snacks? TBH, yes. It’s not too hard to use a bathroom or buy snacks before it starts. But this is why I don’t go to the movies very often. The actions of all the people around me really take away my ability to immerse myself in the story, so I would much rather just watch it at home. I’m the same way. We live in an area with lots of older people who forget they’re not sitting in their living rooms and talk more loudly than they think while they narrate the movie to their partners. The rude lady might be onto something. Next time, I’ll just ask if they think they can be quiet in the movie. 🤣 They also don’t know how to silence their phones. I wouldn’t have the same standards in a kids’ movie. The plot was pretty simple, but I was still quiet sneaking out of the theater so as not to disturb the other 5 people.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 4, 2023 14:59:46 GMT
Spongemom Scrappants said: Some folks must just live in a perpetual state of irritation. I agree with this. I choose to not be annoyed by human beings operating within the norms of human behavior. That includes children at an afternoon showing of a children's movie. I don't remember at what age we took our kids to the theater but I remember very clearly Esther being about 2 or 3 at Finding Nemo and her standing up and swaying from side to side while she was completely engrossed in the movie. Chloe had a loud voice and was super expressive. We took her to an IMAX of The Lion King and she sat there squealing with delight. Chloe has always been like this. I took her on a dolphin cruise at 20 and she squealed harder than the little ones onboard. I expect that in these venues. Now I'm not talking about having a total tantrum meltdown with a parent ignoring it, but emotion? Being restless like Esther was and the swaying side to side? I think if these things irritate you to the point where you are unable to enjoy the experience, then it is up to you to remove yourself. I do this too at times. I like camping. Very much enjoy it. It feels relaxing to me and when I go, that is my mission. So I camp in the spring and fall when the kids are in school. I think there are some places where it's alright for a business owner to say no kids under 12 or no kids after 7pm. I just think some of the expectations we have for kids are developmentally inappropriate. And we have to understand that there's going to be a lot of annoying behaviors at a kids movie during the day.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,538
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Jul 4, 2023 15:42:23 GMT
Could you have been nicer in how you spoke? Sure, but, well...she started it!
As long as someone is ready to take the kid out if they begin getting disruptive, I don't think it's out of line to see a small child at a daytime showing of a Disney movie. My son always was entralled by movies, and he's the younger child. I don't recall when he first saw on in the theater, but it may have been around that age or just a bit older, and he had no problem (with our ready assistance, of course). My daughter wouldn't have been ready so young.
It depends on the kid and the guardian both.
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