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Post by smasonnc on Jul 3, 2023 16:28:14 GMT
So DH and I are babysitting for my grandsons ages 4 & 1.5 years. We decided to take them to a morning Disney/Pixar movie. The theater had problems with the projector so we chose another Disney movie. There were 5 other people in the theater. As we entered the theatre one of the other patrons who had chosen the passes rather than a refund asked us if we thought the baby would be quiet during the movie. I said, “Probably not but…” and before I could say, “…we’re prepared to make a break for it if he acts up,” she said, “You shouldn’t take a baby to a theater. Get a babysitter.” to which I replied, “ It IS a Disney movie and we ARE the babysitters.”
She kept on and on and I said, “Just back off. I’m not taking this. We’re just here for a kids’ movie.” She stormed out, possibly because someone had the nerve to challenge her bull$#*t for once. Had the 1.5 year old been loud or disruptive I’d have taken him out. The movie wasn’t exactly Shakespeare. Ok I could have been more polite at the end, but AITA?
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,639 
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Post by pinklady on Jul 3, 2023 16:32:00 GMT
You're an ass if you let the baby cry and disturb others. However, 18 month old babies DO NOT belong in a movie theatre. I would have been quite irritated if I purchased tickets for that movie and saw you walk in with a baby.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jul 3, 2023 16:32:30 GMT
Not a total asshole. Your grandkid wasn't screaming or causing a scene. You did the right thing by not putting up with that woman's crap.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jul 3, 2023 16:34:37 GMT
I think I would have just started with, we'll be sure he/she doesn't disturb the other patrons to avoid the entire confrontation - especially as that's what you planned anyway. I think unfortunately so many people think that crying/disruptive children aren't a problem they were overly aggressive, but do understand their concern - even if it's a Disney movie.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 3, 2023 16:36:30 GMT
1.5 year olds don’t belong in movie theaters.
It’s not an age appropriate activity.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Jul 3, 2023 16:38:07 GMT
I don't think you're an asshole just for taking an 18mo into a DISNEY movie. IF you had sat there and let him cry and make a lot of noise during the movie, then yeah, you're being the ass. But, you were planning on taking him out if that happened, so I would have been fine with it.
I can't see taking a baby that is under 12 months old into a theater, but I think it's different at 18 months old.
I'm not sure why someone was surprised that a young child was going to see a Disney movie. I would expect to see that. And also, hope that the parent/sitter would take them out if they were disruptive.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jul 3, 2023 16:42:30 GMT
You're an ass if you let the baby cry and disturb others. However, 18 month old babies DO NOT belong in a movie theatre. I would have been quite irritated if I purchased tickets for that movie and saw you walk in with a baby. I would be irritated if the child started disturbing the movie but it wasn't. She said she planned to leave if it did get noisy. I've had grown adults disturb movies with their stupid phones. For some random person to start complaining before there was a problem would have irritated me. I know there is a lot of uproar over noisy crying babies on planes and in restaurants and rightly so. However some small children are very chill. I never had one problem with my daughter throwing a fit in public when she was very small. I took her everywhere with no screaming or disruption. |
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Post by littlemama on Jul 3, 2023 17:25:21 GMT
I wouldnt pre-complain, but an 18 month old is too young to sit through an entire movie quietly.
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Post by tuva42 on Jul 3, 2023 17:28:23 GMT
I think you were perfectly in your rights to take a child into the theater and take the child out if they started fussing. That lady was nuts. Why make a problem before it even started?
I do agree with the others, that 1.5 is too young for a movie, but its hard when big brother is ready and wants to go.
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Post by lucyg on Jul 3, 2023 17:33:10 GMT
I don’t think you were the asshole. And I don’t have a problem with a toddler at a Disney movie, as long as the adults take them outside if they get disruptive. However, I’m sure that woman is on a message board somewhere, being applauded for speaking up.  |
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Post by lainey on Jul 3, 2023 17:34:04 GMT
It's highly unlikely that anyone under the age of five will sit still and be quiet during a whole movie, it's just not a suitable activity for them. However, the other woman didn't come off all that well either.
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Post by ~summer~ on Jul 3, 2023 17:59:56 GMT
I’ll just echo what others are saying - I would not bring an 18 month old to a movie.
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Post by compeateropeator on Jul 3, 2023 18:03:48 GMT
I am on the side of until the kid becomes disruptive I would not have even thought about saying anything to someone with a young kid. Some young kids will sit there quietly amazed and some will not, but until it causes a problem for me I certainly would not jump down anyone’s throat.
I also agree that I have often seen more issues with adults and teens being disruptive in theaters, so it is not limited to kids. I don’t complain about them either until there is reason to.
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Post by longtimenopea on Jul 3, 2023 18:10:36 GMT
I bet it’s a fun memory for the 4yo to go to the movies with the grandparents and the little sibling.
I think it’s fine to take an 18mo to a Disney movie as part of a family activity. They won’t remember it and it’s not strictly developmentally appropriate but not everything we do has to be perfectly on point. Sometimes it’s about the company and not the activity.
My 18mo loved animation at that age and would have enjoyed the moving figures and the music. Probably wouldn’t have made it through a feature film. Of course you would take the baby out if they got fussy. Nbd. It’s a Disney movie, not high cinematic art.
With that few people in the theater it would be so easy for the other patron to just sit far away from the baby and mind their business.
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Post by MichyM on Jul 3, 2023 18:16:00 GMT
What is AITA?
I'm with the others, I would not willingly take an 18 month old to a theater, Disney movie or not. But, I think that woman was out of line getting on you before anything had happened.
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 3, 2023 18:18:53 GMT
What is AITA?
I'm with the others, I would not willingly take an 18 month old to a theater, Disney movie or not. But, I think that woman was out of line getting on you before anything had happened. Am I The A$$hole? |
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 3, 2023 18:24:08 GMT
I think in general an 18 month old wouldn't make it. I could see one grandparent taking the 18 month elsewhere while the other one went to the movie.
My kids were not movie goers. They weren't big into watching anything beyond Barney at that age. My oldest could have sat and watched an entire football game at a stadium at that age. Weird kid. He was awesome to take to sporting events. Have no idea what he was thinking, but he's still that way as a grown adult. My other one would have been fine at that age had I just given him something to eat very five minutes, and I wasn't about to do that. I'd say my kids were good with watching a movie at five or six, but again, they weren't into watching tv.
So how'd the 1.5 year old do at the movie?
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ComplicatedLady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,043
Location: Valley of the Sun
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Post by ComplicatedLady on Jul 3, 2023 18:25:04 GMT
It stands for “Am I The A$$hole?” I expect to see kids during the day at a kids movie. Would I personally take an 18 month old to a movie—no, but I knew at that age there was no way my kid would sit still. However, if I’m at a day time kids movie and other kids are there, it doesn’t bother me. Even if they react to the movie or say something out loud—they are young and learning and I’m more likely to think it’s cute than annoying. I get much more irritated by annoying adults who talk, text, get up several times, and do other disruptive behavior. I fully admit though—I hate going to a movie theater because of other people. So, my vote is no, you are not. |
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Post by smasonnc on Jul 3, 2023 18:29:55 GMT
As it turned out he had a snack, watched the movie for a while, got antsy so we took a walk. Then he fell asleep. The only time he was the least bit disruptive was twice he clapped his hands and said, “Yay,” during colorful parts. Big brother was in awe the whole time and loved it. Only 20 minutes of tv a day in their house so it was a big hit. Miss Priss needn’t have been so rude.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jul 3, 2023 18:33:51 GMT
It's highly unlikely that anyone under the age of five will sit still and be quiet during a whole movie, it's just not a suitable activity for them. However, the other woman didn't come off all that well either. 5?!?! Now that is a bridge too far for me. Now full disclosure, my kids were terrified of Disney movies - why exactly do they have to kill off the parent pretty much immediately, I'll never understand. So we did not do movies, but they had zero issue sitting through way less entertaining events. My son was just over 3 when he sat through his first full length ballet. Now I do think it helped that we were right by the orchestra and he was fascinated by the music. I had zero expectation he'd make it (although thinking he was likely to fall fast asleep vs making a disturbance, he was just not that kind of kid), but he he did fine. I know tons of kids who can easily sit through a Disney movie way before 5. |
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Post by cecilia on Jul 3, 2023 18:38:19 GMT
It's a kids movie. What does she expect, no kids of various ages?
Like someone else said, I wouldn't pre complain. If the 18mo would have started crying and the adult didn't do anything to calm them, I would probably just walk out. Then again I don't like being confrontational of any sort.
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,564
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Post by bethany102399 on Jul 3, 2023 18:58:34 GMT
I am on the side of until the kid becomes disruptive I would not have even thought about saying anything to someone with a young kid. Some young kids will sit there quietly amazed and some will not, but until it causes a problem for me I certainly would not jump down anyone’s throat. This. There's no reason for ANYONE to throw a fit when taking a child to a movie aimed at children. When my kiddos were that small we'd go in the morning and I expected there to be kids in the audience. As they got older and more able to sit through movies we'd go later in the day. If it was something I wanted to see but no one else I'd go to the late showing. That's why they offer different times. No I don't think you were the A in this situation, the other lady was. |
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Post by bluesafyre on Jul 3, 2023 19:20:04 GMT
I think it would be okay to bring the 1.5 year old. If he acted up the OP was ready to handle that and apparently did. Back in the stone age when I was growing up my Mom would take us to see movies at the drive-in but I do remember going to movie theaters also. That being said I have had more problems with the adults carrying on during movies than children.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,694
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jul 3, 2023 19:25:29 GMT
I don't think you're the asshole. I wouldn't even have noticed the age of the kid at a Disney movie.
Now, the person who brought a 3 year old to "Get Out" when I saw it? That person was a psychopath.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,991
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Post by pilcas on Jul 3, 2023 20:12:25 GMT
I would expect a certain amount of noise at a kids movie and if it was an outright tantrum you would have taken the child out of the theater. No point in the lady getting upset before anything actually happened.
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Post by disneypal on Jul 3, 2023 20:20:42 GMT
YANTA - First of all, they had no idea if the baby would sleep the entire move or fuss...but at any rate, parents know if a kid starts crying a lot, they get up and take it out, as I am sure you would...they didn't even give you the opportunity. As you said...it was a kids movie after all...you can't expect there not to be any fussing during a kids movie, it's going to happen.
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Post by MissBianca on Jul 3, 2023 20:27:49 GMT
Not the A-hole, as long as the baby was good.
It’s a Disney movie. The theatres are so damn loud now, you’d probably never hear the baby anyway. Not every 18 month old is the same, all of mine would have sat through the whole movie.
ETA: I see you also went to a morning movie. I would totally expect to see little kids at a matinee movie and I would expect it to not be quiet.
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Post by morecowbell on Jul 3, 2023 20:29:30 GMT
“…we’re prepared to make a break for it if he acts up,”
If you had simply said that, another attemt at the important point, instead of all of the other stuff you WERE able to get out, it would have calmed their concern and put an end to it.
IF it didn't and they continued, there would've been no question who was the asshole and this would be a very different thread.
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Post by compeateropeator on Jul 3, 2023 20:45:52 GMT
“…we’re prepared to make a break for it if he acts up,” If you had simply said that, another attemt at the important point, instead of all of the other stuff you WERE able to get out, it would have calmed their concern and put an end to it. IF it didn't and they continued, there would've been no question who was the asshole and this would be a very different thread. It doesn’t sound like they were really even give a chance. Once someone starts on a rant for absolutely no reason my tolerance to trying to explain (Which the op was in the beginning of the conversation) diminishes quickly. All would have been explained if the over the top complainer had tried to have a conversation/discussion rather then forcing their own judgments of what is correct behavior and what is not. And you are correct, if they hadn’t taken the child out when they became disruptive this would be a completely different thread…as it should be. |
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Post by epeanymous on Jul 3, 2023 21:23:52 GMT
NTA but maybe a little clueless? I am not claiming I know all the kids in the world but I think it's not common that a kid that age can sit quietly through a movie, so even at a kid movie, I don't think it is a good idea to bring them.
And I get that you'd be willing to make a quick exit, but I think people get reluctant (you have another kid, maybe the toddler will settle, oh no now the toddler is fussing about leaving), so I can't be the only person who has experienced well-meaning parents/grandparents leave the kid in longer than people would like.
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