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Post by herewegoga on Dec 15, 2014 2:09:28 GMT
So I just need to vent for a minute since I can't vent too much in real life. My grandmother fell Friday and fractured her hip. She is 96 and has dementia. She lives with my mom and dad who also have my 43 year of quadrapalegic brother with a traumatic brain injury living with them. Needless to say, their plate is pretty full. My mother has a brother and a sister as well as numerous nieces and nephews who all live in the area....no more than 15 minutes from the hospital where my grandmother is. Guess what? NONE of them are helping out at all or even going up to see her. My mother, my two oldest daughters and I are the ONLY ones looking out for her and taking care of her. She is scared. She is lonely. She can't do little things for herself like take the saran wrap off her food at the hospital or pour herself a glass of water or even feed herself without help at this point. She had surgery on her hip this morning and NONE of them have even called to check on her. My oldest daughter, whose blind 12 year old daughter JUST had spinal surgery last week, can go up and make sure Momaw has help eating her dinner but no one else in the whole dang family but us can help out.at all. with anything!!!!!!!!!! Even after calling and specifically saying we need some help, they just made excuses. She is their mother and grandmother!! I do have say that as much as the rest of the dang family sucks, it validates what kind, caring, and loving children I have raised and what a great mom I have also. Vent over.
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,790
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Dec 15, 2014 2:15:21 GMT
You are right. That sucks. So sorry. Good for you who are there to help, although I know it can be hard.
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Post by Freefallfast on Dec 15, 2014 2:18:58 GMT
Ugh. That sucks. Hang in there and know you are a blessing!!!
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,009
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 15, 2014 2:19:20 GMT
It really seems like only certain people are willing to support family as they get older. It's not right. I'm so sorry.
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,240
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
Jun 26, 2014 18:42:33 GMT
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Post by Sue on Dec 15, 2014 2:21:23 GMT
Bless you for being there for your grandmother and your parents. It's hard for me to imagine that people can be as uncaring and selfish as some of your relatives. They may find that what goes around comes around at some point in their life and they won't like it but they will surely deserve it.
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,004
Jun 25, 2014 20:53:57 GMT
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Post by blue tulip on Dec 15, 2014 2:22:12 GMT
wow, that's awful. I'm sorry they are so frustrating. it's so good that your grandma has your mom and family to count on at least!
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Post by herewegoga on Dec 15, 2014 2:30:23 GMT
Thanks y'all. I adore my grandmother. I just don't know how family can be so dang cold. She's 96. She's not going to be around forever. We should be loving her and taking care of her while we still are blessed to have her with us.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Dec 15, 2014 2:33:35 GMT
how terrible. They treat their dogs nicer. jerks. I think you should just do that vent to them. What are they gonna do? take away your birthday? eff em.
Prayers for your grandma. I would be really scared too.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:46:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2014 2:34:58 GMT
I am so very sorry. My dad has dementia also. Just think about how loving and kind you and your children are.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Dec 15, 2014 2:36:28 GMT
Hugs
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Dec 15, 2014 3:29:43 GMT
(((hugs))))
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,429
Jun 26, 2014 3:11:50 GMT
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Post by YooHoot on Dec 15, 2014 4:25:20 GMT
They wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. I think she should be treated as such. Thank you for doing what you are doing to make her happy and comfortable.
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 15, 2014 4:41:01 GMT
They need to get a phone call reminding them they should help. No one can make them, but a polite reminder isn't a bad thing. Everyone is busy and has the same amount of hours in the day.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:46:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2014 6:52:27 GMT
I know how much this sucks. I went through something to a much lesser degree with my grandma and her sons wouldn't help. I feel for you. Are you involved in a church that may be able to give some respite? Or an organization? Family SHOULD do more. They SHOULD. And it's tough when they don't. I feel for you so much.Big hugs! I wish I could do more!
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my3freaks
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,206
Location: NH girl living in Colorado
Jun 26, 2014 4:10:56 GMT
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Post by my3freaks on Dec 15, 2014 8:35:57 GMT
What the hell is wrong with people? I don't understand how people can be so self centered. You are a great daughter, grand daughter and mom!
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Post by maryboys on Dec 15, 2014 10:56:59 GMT
it's hard to believe there are people this selfish...i am so sorry. it's really hurtful, stressful, exhausting to see this and deal with it all. sending you a hug.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Dec 15, 2014 11:01:45 GMT
They suck! Big time! Sending positive thoughts your way, hang in there.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:46:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2014 11:23:25 GMT
I am so sorry. You're right, family does suck sometimes. Thank God she has you, your mom and your daughters. Hugs to all of you.
I give you permission to call them all out! Not just to ask for help, but go ahead and say that they are selfish people and should be ashamed of themselves. From the other threads about furniture and just so many family angst type threads, it's time we call them out and let them know exactly what we think of them and their actions or non-actions in this case.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,564
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Dec 15, 2014 12:49:08 GMT
That sucks that no one else in the family will help, when it's needed the most. I bet all of them will be there when the will is read, though, won't they?
Don't mean to be snarky, but it galls me sometimes how some people think they're "entitled" without having to work to get there! Be proud of how your immediate family is dealing with this and stick together for each other. (Hugs)
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,009
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 15, 2014 13:08:02 GMT
If you do call them out, be prepared for fallout. Mister and I didn't talk for 3 years after I called her out on a similar thing.
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