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Post by mikklynn on Dec 15, 2023 18:01:09 GMT
I can’t even gather up the summary of the shit show going on right now, but it’s awful. And I have Covid again. Things are looking very dark and I wish I could just close my eyes and wake up mid Jan. And this used to be my absolute favorite time of year. It’s just crushing. 😢 I’m so sorry for all struggling and especially those missing loved ones. I wish I could send some light into your spaces. I'm sorry, dear Pea friend. It's ok to just do the minimum necessary this year. Or nothing. Take care of you first. |
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Post by mollycoddle on Dec 15, 2023 19:48:20 GMT
I am really struggling with feeling any kind of happiness right now. But don't like saying anything because I know that there are so many suffering much worse than I am. Nothing wrong with sharing if you are so inclined. We are here to listen and advise. Mostly advise. 😁 j/k! |
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Post by mollycoddle on Dec 15, 2023 19:51:10 GMT
My mother passed away November 21, which leaves my 86 year old father. I bailed on in-laws Thanksgiving and stayed home alone, I didn't want to hear "sorry" all day. I'm not doing Christmas this year. I don't feel merry or joy and don't have the bandwidth to fake it. I'm not hauling stuff out of the attic. I will probably go visit my father Christmas eve and have lunch with him. I had already bought him a T-shirt, and will stop in a grocery store and get him some meals prepped. I'd like to get him into some sort of assisted living but this has all happened pretty fast. I work Christmas day (hospital) which is fine with me. I had already planned to NOT due a DD album, but am doing a Heidi Swapp-ish memory planner December, which was always structured as a "daily" rather than a holiday. Thanks for this thread. I’m very sorry for your loss. And good on you for knowing that you need to pull back this year. Take care of yourself. |
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Post by mollycoddle on Dec 15, 2023 19:55:25 GMT
I am trying to focus on my blessings this year, because we all have so many. It’s hard..because seeing others family photos and celebrations, is a reminder of my loved ones who are no longer living. We used to have 9 people gathered round but now (because 2 live in NZ) and the rest have transitioned to Heaven, there are only 2 of us now…but I am grateful that we have each other, have homes, have friends, have income, etc. I am choosing to focus on the positive as much as possible Me too. And optimism does not come naturally. However, I am finding that it is getting easier. I hope that you have a lovely holiday. |
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Post by scrappintoee on Dec 25, 2023 1:10:25 GMT
(( hugs )) to everyone dealing with sadness, grief, illness, divorce, etc!
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Post by scrappintoee on Dec 25, 2023 1:14:20 GMT
It's my first Christmas without my mother. I'm non contact with my siblings which is sad but necessary. I'm ok...we moved into our first house and we love it. It's very small, everyone calls it the Dollhouse, lol. I just wish my mama could have seen it. She had dementia and alzheimers, and she left us very peacefully, but I miss her so much. I'm disabled, so it's always me getting looked after. When she was here, I got to look after her. I miss being needed. selfish, but true. It's hard to be the one that needs the help all the time. Some how, some way, I think your mom does see you and your new home. I bet she loves it too!  |
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,146 
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Post by rickmer on Dec 25, 2023 1:35:44 GMT
it's an adjustment for me - my DD is home from denmark which is great. my middle son hasn't really been here since he started uni in september but he was here this week and ex said youngest could stay here so kids are all together. that was unexpected and wonderful. but of course, picked her up at the airport saturday and come down with an awful cold sunday. so i have been working but then just collapse when the day is done as i am exhausted. kids spent the day with ex today are here this evening and tomorrow morning but then back to their dad's - so rest of christmas day will be on my own.
i haven't see my guy all week cuz his kids are with him also and i was sick... and he messaged this morning that he has come down with it too. his bday is new year's eve and was gonna book a last minute night at hotel for us... but obviously no need to do that now.
choosing to be grateful for the time with the kids... but still hard knowing the timer is ticking and then they leave. i get them back new years day for dinner.
big hugs to those struggling... hope you find some moments to enjoy the season too. xo
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Post by Legacy Girl on Dec 25, 2023 4:01:32 GMT
It's Christmas Eve and I am already over tomorrow.  Our tiny family includes my parents, my brother, DH and DD. My brother is an alcoholic. My dad has Parkinson's. Dealing with the changes in my dad has made my mom an absolute nervous wreck who complains 24/7. My parents argue all of the time. So, I've done everything I could possibly do to help everyone out with Christmas. And they're still just being ugly. I don't even want to picture how things will go tomorrow. I hate that I'm so resentful of the situation. I thought I was coping pretty well but tonight has shown that I'm not. Thanks to those who have offered warm wishes and prayers. They are truly a comfort to me. |
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Post by ladyinpink1969 on Dec 25, 2023 10:01:36 GMT
I’m struggling as well. My Dad passed away in July on my DS’s birthday. My Mom fell in September, has been in and out of the hospital, rehab, her house and now has moved into assisted living by her choice. However, by the way she acts, you’d think my brother and I are forcing her to be there. My Mom has become angry and has been saying very nasty things towards us while we get her house ready to sell, again her choice. My DS22 was laid off and has moved back home, which I’m happy about the latter part. Then, the very next day, I found out our area accounting department is being laid off at the end of April.
I don’t want to do Christmas. It seems especially difficult as my Dad’s birthday was on December 23rd. I’m crying more again these last few days. My DH tries to understand, wants to help me, but I don’t even know what I want or need. I’m thankful I said no to hosting, but feel guilty about it. I don’t want to go to my brother-in-law’s house. I’d rather stay home, but that means I ruin Christmas for DH and 2DS’s.
I have fibromyalgia, hurt all the time and am tired. I don’t want to work now and I definitely don’t want to find a new job.
Can I just crawl under a rock with a bottle of tequila, my 2 kitties and be left alone.
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 25, 2023 13:18:16 GMT
It's Christmas Eve and I am already over tomorrow. Our tiny family includes my parents, my brother, DH and DD. My brother is an alcoholic. My dad has Parkinson's. Dealing with the changes in my dad has made my mom an absolute nervous wreck who complains 24/7. My parents argue all of the time. So, I've done everything I could possibly do to help everyone out with Christmas. And they're still just being ugly. I don't even want to picture how things will go tomorrow. I hate that I'm so resentful of the situation. I thought I was coping pretty well but tonight has shown that I'm not. Thanks to those who have offered warm wishes and prayers. They are truly a comfort to me. It's ok to be resentful. It's a terrible position to be in. My dad has Parkinson's and mom has memory issues. Getting them moved nearly broke me. I'll be saying a prayer that you have peace today, dear friend. Merry Christmas! |
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 25, 2023 13:20:28 GMT
I’m struggling as well. My Dad passed away in July on my DS’s birthday. My Mom fell in September, has been in and out of the hospital, rehab, her house and now has moved into assisted living by her choice. However, by the way she acts, you’d think my brother and I are forcing her to be there. My Mom has become angry and has been saying very nasty things towards us while we get her house ready to sell, again her choice. My DS22 was laid off and has moved back home, which I’m happy about the latter part. Then, the very next day, I found out our area accounting department is being laid off at the end of April. I don’t want to do Christmas. It seems especially difficult as my Dad’s birthday was on December 23rd. I’m crying more again these last few days. My DH tries to understand, wants to help me, but I don’t even know what I want or need. I’m thankful I said no to hosting, but feel guilty about it. I don’t want to go to my brother-in-law’s house. I’d rather stay home, but that means I ruin Christmas for DH and 2DS’s. I have fibromyalgia, hurt all the time and am tired. I don’t want to work now and I definitely don’t want to find a new job. Can I just crawl under a rock with a bottle of tequila, my 2 kitties and be left alone. I'm sorry. That is a lot to deal with. I didn't want to go to my BIL's yesterday, but it turned out to be fun. I hope you have a better day than you anticipate. |
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Post by Legacy Girl on Dec 26, 2023 7:27:02 GMT
It's Christmas Eve and I am already over tomorrow. Our tiny family includes my parents, my brother, DH and DD. My brother is an alcoholic. My dad has Parkinson's. Dealing with the changes in my dad has made my mom an absolute nervous wreck who complains 24/7. My parents argue all of the time. So, I've done everything I could possibly do to help everyone out with Christmas. And they're still just being ugly. I don't even want to picture how things will go tomorrow. I hate that I'm so resentful of the situation. I thought I was coping pretty well but tonight has shown that I'm not. Thanks to those who have offered warm wishes and prayers. They are truly a comfort to me. It's ok to be resentful. It's a terrible position to be in. My dad has Parkinson's and mom has memory issues. Getting them moved nearly broke me. I'll be saying a prayer that you have peace today, dear friend. Merry Christmas! Thank you for the prayer! We had a much better day than expected and I could not be more grateful. I'm so sorry to hear you have similar circumstances to deal with. Parkinson's and dementia are just heartbreaking. I hope your Christmas was as happy as possible! Thank you, again! |
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Post by gryroagain on Dec 26, 2023 16:58:07 GMT
I wish none of us were struggling, but it really helpful to hear others are too. So thank you for this thread!
I overspent for Christmas as this is the first one without my girls. Oldest DD is with her dad in MO and youngest is at her in laws. So now I’m broke and it’s my own dang fault! I’m sure I was trying to make up for us not being together with material things.
But, my mom and I had a lovely Christmas Eve dinner with friends,and Christmas Day we went downtown and walked around looking at lights and the beautiful historic area. And hit a cantina! So now I’ll stay home and do things around my house because poor but that’s ok really. My dog will appreciate me staying home. I was having a bit of a pity party about it all but actually it was quite a nice Christmas and I’m so glad I have my mom with me after so many years living far away.
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Our tiny family includes my parents, my brother, DH and DD. My brother is an alcoholic. My dad has Parkinson's. Dealing with the changes in my dad has made my mom an absolute nervous wreck who complains 24/7. My parents argue all of the time. So, I've done everything I could possibly do to help everyone out with Christmas. And they're still just being ugly. I don't even want to picture how things will go tomorrow. I hate that I'm so resentful of the situation. I thought I was coping pretty well but tonight has shown that I'm not. Thanks to those who have offered warm wishes and prayers. They are truly a comfort to me. 
