artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,157
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:10 GMT
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Post by artbabe on Jan 31, 2024 12:35:31 GMT
I teach middle school. We don't have a dress code, really. Ours says "anything that distracts from learning", which is too vague and impossible to enforce. So I see everything. Butt cheeks hanging out. Strapless. Stomachs. I saw a neckline so low that I could see underboob. Bras totally showing. Sagging pants. Shirts that say "I love hot moms". Shirts with weapons on them. Kids wearing blankets and pajamas.
I'm from a different era. I don't like it and I wouldn't want my 14 year old to dress like that. But I do understand that dress codes are very sexist and I don't think we should spend our time policing what people wear. It is a stupid waste of time. So my eyebrows shoot up when I see what kids are wearing but I rarely say anything. Sometimes I suggest that a student doesn't wear that again (usually butt cheeks or inappropriate sayings on shirts) but I rarely send anyone to the office.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,874
Jun 26, 2014 17:47:08 GMT
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Post by peppermintpatty on Jan 31, 2024 14:09:56 GMT
I say yes but if it applies to both and to deal with the issue of girls not dressing to distract boys, the boys should have to show up in tiny skirts and spaghetti strap tops that show off their midsection. That would probably cure them all of what distracts them.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jan 31, 2024 14:14:03 GMT
I'm on the yes side. I think if you don't enforce something the kids will try to get away with anything you can. I'm not saying you have to be super strict about it, but ground rules regarding droopy pants, lots of cleavage, jammies, stuff like that. I have come from years and years of uniforms (which I personally like) and my kids had uniforms up to 8th grade. It's just soooo much easier if we would just adopt that all around.. but that won't happen. but I digress.... haha... I guess I am more conservative in this area than some.
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anniebeth24
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,604
Jun 26, 2014 14:12:17 GMT
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Post by anniebeth24 on Jan 31, 2024 14:18:49 GMT
I say yes but if it applies to both and to deal with the issue of girls not dressing to distract boys, the boys should have to show up in tiny skirts and spaghetti strap tops that show off their midsection. That would probably cure them all of what distracts them. My high school had a "no shorts" policy, but girls were wearing above-knee length skirts all the time. A group of boys came to school one day wearing short skirts to prove the absurdity of that rule. They were sent home by the administration.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,659
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Jan 31, 2024 14:27:14 GMT
I wore a uniform for grades 1-12 and it made my life and my parent's life easier.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jan 31, 2024 14:49:40 GMT
For me, the dress code doesn’t have anything to do with boys and their lack of self control. It is about knowing what is appropriate and respectful to wear in various situations and basic modesty.
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Post by Linda on Jan 31, 2024 14:58:12 GMT
For me, the dress code doesn’t have anything to do with boys and their lack of self control. It is about knowing what is appropriate and respectful to wear in various situations and basic modesty. and a fair and equitable dress code is about appropriate clothes and basic modesty MANY school dress codes are neither fair nor equitable. They are often written to police girls bodies under the guise of 'distracting their (male) classmates' and they tend to put an extra burden on girls from certain ethnic groups whose bodies are more curvy than the average. And yes, dress codes that say no shorts but allow shorts-length skirts are unfair to the guys - also not okay No profanity, violence, drugs/alcohol references - sure. No racial or other slurs - sure. But when the dress code - as many do - have 3 paragraphs on what girls can and can't wear and a line or two for boys...that's a problem.
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Post by chaosisapony on Jan 31, 2024 15:11:50 GMT
As a mom of a kindergartner who got dress coded for wearing a sundress with inch wide straps when it was 95 degrees…then got dress coded in high school while the cheerleaders wore sanctioned uniforms that exposed midriffs and miniskirts not covering their butt checks let alone the finger tip length (which takes zero into account for arm length/torso height), and then laughing her ass off that the REQUIRED Sr yearbook photo was a collar bone exposing drape that violated the actual dress code…no. I’m all for uniforms; but arbitrary “dress codes” that target girls, bustier girls, and exist at the whims of power tripping administrators, no. Oh man don't get me started on the skimpy cheerleading outfits that are somehow totally ok to be worn to school at least once a week. I remember my last year in high school the administration sent a letter home before our winter formal dance stating that thong underwear were prohibited and anyone wearing one to the dance would face suspension. The only reaction any of us had, including our parents, was "who's going to check?!" Talk about being inappropriate.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jan 31, 2024 15:12:37 GMT
It's funny regarding dress code. In my work, we have a 'dress code' like most businesses. This place is probably the most relaxed I have been in for the majoirty of my work life. No jeans is basically the only 'rule'. They say business casual. To me it means, slacks, nice tops, no tee shirts that have prints on them (like Snoopy or your football team type)... the two girls that just have been hired on have a completely different thought on what is casual wear. I am shocked by what they have been wearing. Yesterday (in Jan) one gal had flip flops on (which are allowed) capri leggings (leggings are allowed) and a strappy shirt. Totally looked like something she picked up off her floor and threw on. The other gal had on those printed (think Luluroe prints...aggg) in pink and flowers, a tank top and a sweatshirt jacket. She wore her jacket off her shoulders most of the day.
WHAT part of business casual is this? Both girls looked like they picked up whatever they had on the floor and threw them on. I feel like neither were taught what a dress code is. Does that start at school? At home? If you are never taught how to present yourself appropriately I guess you don't know.
It's not my problem and I stay out of it.
I have worn flip flops or leggings to work.. but always on the dressed-up side. Nice flip flops, not beach wear, something paired with the right pants or if I wear leggings, I always wear something like a long cardigan or on casual day, a long sweatshirt with them.
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Post by aprilfay21 on Jan 31, 2024 15:36:30 GMT
Our kids are in private school so uniforms are required, and honestly I hate it. Yeah, it makes mornings easier, but then they need double clothes or they're stuck wearing the same 3 things for every other day/evening. It's frustrating.
I wish all schools would just go to a minimum safe dresscode. I saw one that was basically something like "except for straps and waistbands, undergarments must not be seen; no drug or sex references or profanity on shirts; no exposed chests, groins, or buttocks; no jewelry that can double as weapons." Pretty much everything else was allowed.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 31, 2024 15:38:34 GMT
I should say, even with standardized dress, the kids find ways to show wealth and status with brand names - especially shoes and other accessories. Or certain brands of jeans at the middle school. And the required polos in elementary school were miserable for some kids with sensory issues and some older girls who got big and/or busty in 4th and 5th grade. Really nothing less flattering to a curvy shape than a boxy polo shirt. But I digress … 100% this. When I was in elementary school we had the hideously ugly plaid polyester uniforms. I’m sorry, but that SUCKED. There were kids in my school who were even poorer than me who maybe had only 1-2 sets of uniform clothes that they had to wear EVERY DAY. By the time kids hit about grade 4-5, you could tell who those kids were because they were pretty stinky by about Wednesday after having gym class, playing outside or even sitting in hot classrooms with 30 other kids and no A/C when it was 90° outside in September or May. And the rich kids at my school had no problem pointing out that my no name brand shoes from K-Mart weren’t Nikes or that my navy corduroys weren’t Levi’s or that my white polo shirt wasn’t Izod. And yes, I opted for the navy blue corduroys even when it was 90° outside because the alternative was the plaid jumpers or skirts that the boys would constantly try to flip up every chance they got.
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Post by Merge on Jan 31, 2024 15:54:40 GMT
I should say, even with standardized dress, the kids find ways to show wealth and status with brand names - especially shoes and other accessories. Or certain brands of jeans at the middle school. And the required polos in elementary school were miserable for some kids with sensory issues and some older girls who got big and/or busty in 4th and 5th grade. Really nothing less flattering to a curvy shape than a boxy polo shirt. But I digress … 100% this. When I was in elementary school we had the hideously ugly plaid polyester uniforms. I’m sorry, but that SUCKED. There were kids in my school who were even poorer than me who maybe had only 1-2 sets of uniform clothes that they had to wear EVERY DAY. By the time kids hit about grade 4-5, you could tell who those kids were because they were pretty stinky by about Wednesday after having gym class, playing outside or even sitting in hot classrooms with 30 other kids and no A/C when it was 90° outside in September or May. And the rich kids at my school had no problem pointing out that my no name brand shoes from K-Mart weren’t Nikes or that my navy corduroys weren’t Levi’s or that my white polo shirt wasn’t Izod. And yes, I opted for the navy blue corduroys even when it was 90° outside because the alternative was the plaid jumpers or skirts that the boys would constantly try to flip up every chance they got. No, unfortunately, there's no sure way to prevent kids from being shitty to other kids. One thing we do, at least in Title 1 schools, is to take in donations of outgrown uniform clothing so it can be distributed to other kids who need it - trying to ensure that no one has to wear the same stinky uniform all week. Many schools also have a washer/dryer and will discreetly wash clothing for kids who need it. I will say, however, that SEL does work to some extent to decrease this kind of bullying. Teaching and expecting kindness and empathy doesn't solve every ill, but it helps. It also helps that teachers now don't treat the poor kids (or the "bus kids" as another poster once said) as less than the others. When I was growing up, the kids from the trailer park or other poor areas were often treated badly by teachers, and that example spread to the students. That shouldn't happen now, though I suppose it does in some areas. And to go a step in a different direction that you didn't bring up, kids who want to show gang affiliation find plenty of ways to do that without resorting to colors or symbols that may be banned - a certain brand of shoe or type of haircut, for example.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Jan 31, 2024 16:07:10 GMT
I'm a fan of uniforms. I was in the military and loved knowing exactly what I was wearing everyday. DS wore uniforms 1-4 until we moved. Getting ready for school was easy. I also think it makes it easier for girls. Having "school clothes" and "non school clothes" was standard for us regardless if he wore a uniform or not. I grew up poor and I did not wear my good school clothes after school for play.
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Post by airforcemomof1 on Jan 31, 2024 16:15:30 GMT
I voted depends. I would have to read the official dress code. Many years since I have had a child in school so I am not really up to date on dress codes.
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Post by hop2 on Jan 31, 2024 16:30:58 GMT
I’m on the depends bench. I’m tired of vague dress codes being used to demean female students. As one pea said the ‘distracts from education’ bullshit that is used to send girls to the office for literally anything. No thanks.
I don’t have super objections to uniforms other than affordability. I do worry about affordability for public school kids with required uniforms. Other than affordability I have no objection.
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Post by mom2rjcr on Jan 31, 2024 16:57:57 GMT
If there is a dress code it should be enforced. If you don't like your school's dress code, please come to school board meetings and let them know. Please don't be mean to teachers who are having to enforce it. It doesn't mean I think our dress code is right, but I am required by my district to enforce it.
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,042
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Jan 31, 2024 17:05:29 GMT
I teach middle school. We don't have a dress code, really. Ours says "anything that distracts from learning", which is too vague and impossible to enforce. So I see everything. Butt cheeks hanging out. Strapless. Stomachs. I saw a neckline so low that I could see underboob. Bras totally showing. Sagging pants. Shirts that say "I love hot moms". Shirts with weapons on them. Kids wearing blankets and pajamas. I'm from a different era. I don't like it and I wouldn't want my 14 year old to dress like that. But I do understand that dress codes are very sexist and I don't think we should spend our time policing what people wear. It is a stupid waste of time. So my eyebrows shoot up when I see what kids are wearing but I rarely say anything. Sometimes I suggest that a student doesn't wear that again (usually butt cheeks or inappropriate sayings on shirts) but I rarely send anyone to the office. I am in the same place. The only thing students get called out on here is if they would wear a shirt with inappropriate language or depicting violence. Otherwise, no one cares. I will not in anyway call a girl out for what she is wearing.
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Post by myshelly on Jan 31, 2024 17:05:46 GMT
I think there are different kinds of dress codes.
Outdated dress codes that arbitrarily target females are obviously not ok.
But there is an absolute need for rules like Students must wear closed toe shoes that are safe for PE and recess.
There need to be rules for elementary school so parents know kids must be able to run, climb, play, and sit criss cross applesauce in their clothes. There should be expectations set that students might use glue, paint, markers, etc. and to dress accordingly.
In schools, a small number of adults must manage a large number of kids and some rules, including rules about clothes, are needed to safely do that.
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Post by Linda on Jan 31, 2024 17:23:48 GMT
myshelly - I almost never agree with your posts but you are spot-on about appropriate footwear for PE and recess. As for running, jumping, playing, and sitting crisscross applesauce? my girls managed just fine even in nice dresses - they did always wear cartwheel shorts underneath so there was no problems with knickers showing. And if they got paint or glue or dirt on them, nice dresses wash just as easily as anything else. But yes, parents who dress young children in clothes they aren't allowed to get dirty? not for school
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,042
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Jan 31, 2024 17:23:58 GMT
If there is a dress code it should be enforced. If you don't like your school's dress code, please come to school board meetings and let them know. Please don't be mean to teachers who are having to enforce it. It doesn't mean I think our dress code is right, but I am required by my district to enforce it. I am a teacher. We have a dress code. Our administrator's rarely enforce it. I won't enforce it at all. I don't care what kids wear to school anymore.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,874
Jun 26, 2014 17:47:08 GMT
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Post by peppermintpatty on Jan 31, 2024 17:31:51 GMT
If there is a dress code it should be enforced. If you don't like your school's dress code, please come to school board meetings and let them know. Please don't be mean to teachers who are having to enforce it. It doesn't mean I think our dress code is right, but I am required by my district to enforce it. I am a teacher. We have a dress code. Our administrator's rarely enforce it. I won't enforce it at all. I don't care what kids wear to school anymore. Reading all these responses, I agree with you. Teacher have SO MANY OTHER THINGS TO DEAL WITH so what a kid does or doesn't wear isn't really a hill that anyone should want to die on.
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Post by Merge on Jan 31, 2024 19:04:10 GMT
If there is a dress code it should be enforced. If you don't like your school's dress code, please come to school board meetings and let them know. Please don't be mean to teachers who are having to enforce it. It doesn't mean I think our dress code is right, but I am required by my district to enforce it. I am a teacher. We have a dress code. Our administrator's rarely enforce it. I won't enforce it at all. I don't care what kids wear to school anymore. During my one hellish year in middle school, if admin came in and found a kid out of dress code and the teacher hadn't already written them up, the teacher could be written up. That place was a shitshow in so many ways.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 31, 2024 19:38:28 GMT
myshelly - I almost never agree with your posts but you are spot-on about appropriate footwear for PE and recess. As for running, jumping, playing, and sitting crisscross applesauce? my girls managed just fine even in nice dresses - they did always wear cartwheel shorts underneath so there was no problems with knickers showing. And if they got paint or glue or dirt on them, nice dresses wash just as easily as anything else. But yes, parents who dress young children in clothes they aren't allowed to get dirty? not for school I bought those for my daughter too when she was in elementary when she liked to wear dresses to school. Now that she’s in middle school and likes to sometimes wear anime inspired pleated mini skirts, she still wears something similar under them.
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 31, 2024 19:57:39 GMT
Dress code yes, uniform depends on the location/school.
I think schools that set up dress codes should enforce them.
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Post by monklady123 on Jan 31, 2024 20:20:28 GMT
myshelly - I almost never agree with your posts but you are spot-on about appropriate footwear for PE and recess. As for running, jumping, playing, and sitting crisscross applesauce? my girls managed just fine even in nice dresses - they did always wear cartwheel shorts underneath so there was no problems with knickers showing. And if they got paint or glue or dirt on them, nice dresses wash just as easily as anything else. But yes, parents who dress young children in clothes they aren't allowed to get dirty? not for school We recently had one of *those* parents who was angry at her 1st grader's teacher and at the art teacher, because in art they used paint. Which included red paint, which as you know often stains even when it's washable paint (which it always is washable in elementary school). The parent was mad because the kid wore an official football jersey shirt that day. Not a random tee-shirt with the team name, but an official jersey which can cost $100.00. ![:shocked:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/JvSt42CUoZ9LG952aAaF.jpg) First of all, who sends their elementary age kid to school in a shirt like that? And second, why is it the teacher's fault that that particular day was art day? The specials schedule goes home at the beginning of the year, and if it changes (which it usually does not) then the revision goes home. It should be posted right on the refrigerator so you know when your kid needs PE shoes or needs to bring their instrument or whatever. Every time I think I've seen/heard it all in terms of what parents can come up with someone does something new that surprises me.
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Post by myshelly on Jan 31, 2024 20:29:57 GMT
myshelly - I almost never agree with your posts but you are spot-on about appropriate footwear for PE and recess. As for running, jumping, playing, and sitting crisscross applesauce? my girls managed just fine even in nice dresses - they did always wear cartwheel shorts underneath so there was no problems with knickers showing. And if they got paint or glue or dirt on them, nice dresses wash just as easily as anything else. But yes, parents who dress young children in clothes they aren't allowed to get dirty? not for school We recently had one of *those* parents who was angry at her 1st grader's teacher and at the art teacher, because in art they used paint. Which included red paint, which as you know often stains even when it's washable paint (which it always is washable in elementary school). The parent was mad because the kid wore an official football jersey shirt that day. Not a random tee-shirt with the team name, but an official jersey which can cost $100.00. ![:shocked:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/JvSt42CUoZ9LG952aAaF.jpg) First of all, who sends their elementary age kid to school in a shirt like that? And second, why is it the teacher's fault that that particular day was art day? The specials schedule goes home at the beginning of the year, and if it changes (which it usually does not) then the revision goes home. It should be posted right on the refrigerator so you know when your kid needs PE shoes or needs to bring their instrument or whatever. Every time I think I've seen/heard it all in terms of what parents can come up with someone does something new that surprises me. There was a pea thread exactly like that - sent her kid to school and he got paint on himself at art class and she was livid at the teacher. She started a WDTPT thread and the peas ate her up (for good reason). I still think about how much of an idiot that pea is…and the thread was way back on the old board.
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Post by monklady123 on Jan 31, 2024 21:06:59 GMT
We recently had one of *those* parents who was angry at her 1st grader's teacher and at the art teacher, because in art they used paint. Which included red paint, which as you know often stains even when it's washable paint (which it always is washable in elementary school). The parent was mad because the kid wore an official football jersey shirt that day. Not a random tee-shirt with the team name, but an official jersey which can cost $100.00. ![:shocked:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/ve14FhEmeZxY4THVQSkV.jpg) First of all, who sends their elementary age kid to school in a shirt like that? And second, why is it the teacher's fault that that particular day was art day? The specials schedule goes home at the beginning of the year, and if it changes (which it usually does not) then the revision goes home. It should be posted right on the refrigerator so you know when your kid needs PE shoes or needs to bring their instrument or whatever. Every time I think I've seen/heard it all in terms of what parents can come up with someone does something new that surprises me. There was a pea thread exactly like that - sent her kid to school and he got paint on himself at art class and she was livid at the teacher. She started a WDTPT thread and the peas ate her up (for good reason). I still think about how much of an idiot that pea is…and the thread was way back on the old board. Lol. I don't remember that one, but I should have known that our rabid parent wasn't the first to act like that. ![:blink:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/pd7N3dneptLj3pbgz5Gd.jpg) This was her team's (I don't even remember which one now) jersey from a past Super Bowl. I guess her team had no chance of being in the Super Bowl this year so they wanted to bask in past glory. lol or not-lol.
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