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Post by jeremysgirl on Feb 4, 2024 18:01:26 GMT
There is a tiktok video going around on Twitter right now. I don't have tiktok and I have no idea how to Twitter link it. But this is a young, single childless woman complaining about her life. Twitter is in an uproar with all sorts of comments from every angle imaginable.
I'll give you the rundown. Woman takes home approx $2000 per month and rent for her two bedroom apartment is over $1600. The first issue everyone wants to talk about is money/the economy/who has had it tougher/is she entitled/ why does she need two bedrooms/how about a roommate, etc. I think my opinion is very balanced in that I am sorry for her that she doesn't seem to make enough money to live. I think this is a definite issue for many people in our society. I had empathy for her in this way. However when I showed this to my Chloe, who is almost 24, lives independently, works hard, she ripped her apart for bad choices. My Chloe has never been spoiled and she has made her share of bad choices, but she's always been able to pick up the pieces and she has had to recover from those choices on her own. So I see a measure of bootstrap philosophy is in her. If I can do it, she can do it is her mindset.
The second issue in the video and the one that I really took issue with is the issue of time. I mean young, single, childless woman working 40 hours should have plenty of personal time for herself. But she claims that with household responsibilities she feels like she's working 7 days a week. Now I get being a working mom during prime child raising years is tough. I did it and having a 4 day work week would have made that infinitely easier. But as someone with an empty nest now, i still work 40 hours a week but I feel like I have all the time in the world to pursue my interests/have fun/rest. So I admit, I walked away judging her like what the hell is so hard about this given her circumstance. This was yesterday.
But this morning I read another take on this. It is that our younger generations don't have a sense of purpose. Basically she only perceives she's overworked and underpaid *because* she's suffering from some kind of existential dread that is more present in younger generations now than it was in our older generations. So her reality in terms of money might be so skewed she can't even make choices to benefit herself and she may truly feel that 40 hours of work is all to serve capitalism, like she's simply a cog in the machine. No purpose = not looking at reality correctly = existential dread.
That was a fresh take for me. Are younger people struggling with their role in society and do they lack purpose?
I'm stepping out to a cookie decorating class but if anyone wants to talk about this, I'd love to hear your thoughts. You guys are such intelligent women, I love to hear your take on things like this. I'd also love to hear about your own kids and how they are doing.
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Post by katlady on Feb 4, 2024 18:22:15 GMT
I think in some ways, social media is making younger people question their role in society. They see all these people, who are their age, posting about fabulous meals, trips, apartments, etc. They think their lives should be like that too. No one is posting about their fabulous 40 hour work week inside an office. Or, they never show themselves cleaning their homes or doing laundry.
I did start a thread a while back about a 40-hour work week, so I won't talk much about that. But, I do wonder what will happen to the younger generation who are only living for today. What will happen when they want to "retire" at age 55, 60 or 65? Will they have savings to fall back on? Will they ever be able to retire? I know that many are not thinking that far down the line.
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Post by Linda on Feb 4, 2024 18:31:16 GMT
I read an article this morning from The Los Angelos Post that kind of talked about this from a bit of a different perspective www.lapost.com/how-covid-19-stunted-a-generation/?sid=lapfb_health_pandemic_skip_timer5_free_story_trial_sub_cpa_middle&pwds=5&sfst=1&o=o2&ctas=p3&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=sub_cpa&utm_campaign=lapfb_health_pandemic_skip_timer5_free_story_trial_sub_cpa_middle&utm_content=health&utm_id=120202529648500420&utm_term=120202529649020420&fbclid=IwAR21ojzDa6RiAvsezzkhG9FN8GqhZ_d0TVm03ncHFKlnHvzEoGPzdtzDZSsI know my middle child (almost 24) is struggling - she didn't finish college (because it went online during the pandemic and while she gave it her best shot - online was really a difficult format for her), she hasn't learnt to drive despite having a learners for nearly 9 years due to anxiety, she still hasn't found her first job...and I think she's floundering a bit. She doesn't have a lot of interest in money and sees a job as a means to an end - something to bring in enough to buy food, pay rent, and minimal clothes/books etc... She feels like her generation has gotten a rough launching between the pandemic, housing crisis, economy, and the job market - and in some ways, she's not wrong. My oldest (32) is doing fine - he bought a house in early 2021 before prices and interest skyrocketed, he has a stable job (military), is saving for retirement, lives a frugal life, and is housing his sister (by choice). Social life is where he struggles the most. He plans to stay in the military to retirement. But it took him a few years after high school to find his path - he was 24 when he enlisted. |
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,467 
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Feb 4, 2024 18:56:28 GMT
I think in some ways, social media is making younger people question their role in society. They see all these people, who are their age, posting about fabulous meals, trips, apartments, etc. They think their lives should be like that too. No one is posting about their fabulous 40 hour work week inside an office. Or, they never show themselves cleaning their homes or doing laundry. I did start a thread a while back about a 40-hour work week, so I won't talk much about that. But, I do wonder what will happen to the younger generation who are only living for today. What will happen when they want to "retire" at age 55, 60 or 65? Will they have savings to fall back on? Will they ever be able to retire? I know that many are not thinking that far down the line. I was talking to my DDs 22, 20 about this. I said when I was growing up there were supermodels in magazines, tv shows with perfect families where when conflict happened it all ended with I love yous. You might have eished to be skinnier, prettier, have such a fun life as a tv show but you knew it was all just Hollywood. Now everyone on social media is perfect. Starting an account about Amazon buys or their cat and soon they are getting free things, vacations etc. Somehow they skyrocketed to a million followers and you're at a thousand. Keeping up with the trendy things to purchase, creating that want and must have in everything from Stanley cups to house decor or vacations. Meanwhile my mom still uses the dishes, Tupoerware, pots she got almost 50 years ago for her wedding. They didn't make a lot but are retired comfortably now. You said will they have savings to fall back on? I wonder this too. If they continued to keep up with the trendy Joneses for the next 40 years, will they look back and think I'm happy I got my nails, hair, eyelashes done every 3 weeks, I'm happy I always had the latest Stanley mug <insert trend here>, I'm 75 and still working and that's ok. Or will they think I could have still lived and enjoyed life while also saving to retire early/at a normal time. Of course there have always been spenders and savers, is it more extreme now? Or is it just that the splashiest and trendiest are getting the most coverage? To the person OP was posting about, don't you think that your parents got down on working 40 hours a week also? Social media makes it seem like you can just follow your dreams, do a job you love, love everyday. Every generation has had people doing jobs they don't love, find some purpose outside of your work. |
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,622
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Post by pinklady on Feb 4, 2024 19:12:38 GMT
Cue the boomer digs in 5, 4, 3, 2....
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Post by freecharlie on Feb 4, 2024 19:43:30 GMT
I do think the younger generation lacks purpose in general. I see it with my own children, many of their friends, and my students.
I also think the housing market is out of control, especially in relation to housing costs. My parents house which they bought in the 70s for $30,000 would now sell for over $500,000. Yes, wages have gone up, but that is still insane.
No time for herself? What the hell does she do?
I work 40+ hours a week as a teacher, bring work home, am out union president, work 2ish hours/week for NEA, work two jobs where I typically work another 4-8 hours, and then kj on Saturdays for 6.5 hours with the commute...plus household stuff (with 4 adult children living at home because of how much rent is), a dog, and a cat...and I still find some time to carve out for myself.
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Post by chaosisapony on Feb 4, 2024 19:54:17 GMT
I think it can be quite easy to feel that way when you spend time working, doing what you are "supposed to" and can't get ahead. Corporate greed has given record breaking profits but so many jobs just want to pay minimum wage while expecting far more than minimum effort & education. When you're working and spending your days off cleaning and stressing about bills you can't pay because you can't find a job that pays a living wage it's pretty easy to fall into the trap of thinking "what's the point?"
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Post by Merge on Feb 4, 2024 19:54:48 GMT
I just want to pop in and say that some people need a lot more decompression time than others after a day at work, and it eats into or takes over what might be "me" time for another person. People who are neurodivergent in one way or another may simply need to sit and stare at the wall or do something very mindless for some amount of time after work before they can even get around to household tasks/exercising/socializing/etc. My oldest calls it dissociating, though it's not exactly that. She needs it and I need it even to function. It's not optional.
I'm not sure this younger generation feels any less a sense of purpose than my generation did. They are perhaps more aware that most of us are running on a hamster wheel to make someone else rich, while we will live and die on the wheel. I think anyone who thinks about it would find that frustrating.
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Post by padresfan619 on Feb 4, 2024 19:57:47 GMT
It can be hard to feel like you truly have a purpose when we are only a handful of generations from the planet destroying us.
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Post by ~summer~ on Feb 4, 2024 19:57:50 GMT
First of all, I agree with you about time.
I’m 50, empty nester, work a stressful job and I feel like I have tons of time, and I feel like right now I’m living my best life. I almost couldn’t be happier.
My kids are early 20s and they do seem to have purpose and are pretty happy and motivated with life. They all have extreme interests and hobbies so maybe that’s part of it.
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Post by smasonnc on Feb 4, 2024 20:16:31 GMT
It's got to be really hard making ends meet these days. We see it where we are where a starting teacher can't afford an apartment without a second job. I found this girl's Ticktok and it looks like she is suffering from depression and/or anxiety. The fact that she's so exhausted at such a young age seems like there's something else going on. It sounds like someone else is helping her financially because she says her salary doesn't cover her phone or food. She's made some bad choices and I hope she figures it out. link |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Feb 4, 2024 20:37:48 GMT
My kids are lucky as they're targeting engineering - we know so many of their friends who are struggling. I've seen more and more - really look and try and understand before judging - you might be surprised.
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by tracylynn on Feb 4, 2024 21:17:44 GMT
Honestly, as GenX, I can't imagine being in my 20s right now. It must feel hopeless in a lot of ways.
I'm just finally in the last 5-7 years feeling like I can breath. I bought a house at the right time, for the right price at the right interest rate. I have a well paying job. I work my ass of for that job though. Way more than 40 hours. That's a symptom of my work ethic I got from my Boomer parents.
With the general feeling of unrest in this Country against Capitalism and Corporate greed, it's not surprising that these kids in their 20s, who can barely pay rent on their own (or in some cases can't) due to massively inflated rent prices, can't buy a house because of massively inflated prices and interest rates and generally can't get ahead are feeling this way.
And then to get lectures from Boomers to "just suck it up" because they survived on $6.00 an hour and raised a family with a SAHM isn't helpful because that was 50 damn years ago with massively different circumstances.
I don't know what the answer is though. I think to throw out "the kids just don't want to work" is bullshit. It's just simply not true. They don't see light at the end if the tunnel. It's hard to motivate when you feel like you're running in circles.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by pilcas on Feb 4, 2024 21:31:20 GMT
I think a lot depends where you live and your work schedule. I see tons of people waiting for the bus at around six o’clock. I live in a big city where a commute of an hour or more is fairly common. Let’s say someone gets out at six, gets home at seven, eats something it’s already eight. Not much time for anything significant, certainly not for another job where you would probably have to spend some time commuting. When I was a teacher my first class started at 7am so I got out early and was home by 3pm but I also lived within walking distance of my workplace. I also live in an expensive city. Life in a smaller place could be quite different.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Feb 4, 2024 21:53:05 GMT
My kids are lucky as they're targeting engineering - we know so many of their friends who are struggling. I've seen more and more - really look and try and understand before judging - you might be surprised. Note the only thing I judged is the comment that she doesn't have enough personal time. I do not know enough about her finances to comment there. And truly if not her, there are a lot of people not making ends meet. And I'll say that even the time issue I chalked up to immaturity. Because once you juggle the hectic schedule of a working mom with kids, child free, 40 hour work weeks seem like a vacation. But my Chloe did judge her financial decisions. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Feb 4, 2024 21:54:24 GMT
I think in some ways, social media is making younger people question their role in society. They see all these people, who are their age, posting about fabulous meals, trips, apartments, etc. They think their lives should be like that too. No one is posting about their fabulous 40 hour work week inside an office. Or, they never show themselves cleaning their homes or doing laundry. I did start a thread a while back about a 40-hour work week, so I won't talk much about that. But, I do wonder what will happen to the younger generation who are only living for today. What will happen when they want to "retire" at age 55, 60 or 65? Will they have savings to fall back on? Will they ever be able to retire? I know that many are not thinking that far down the line. I, too, think it could be a social media influence. I know my own DD cut Instagram because she felt like it was a constant sales pitch backed by judgment on what she should be doing or aiming for. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Feb 4, 2024 21:57:47 GMT
I think in some ways, social media is making younger people question their role in society. They see all these people, who are their age, posting about fabulous meals, trips, apartments, etc. They think their lives should be like that too. No one is posting about their fabulous 40 hour work week inside an office. Or, they never show themselves cleaning their homes or doing laundry. I did start a thread a while back about a 40-hour work week, so I won't talk much about that. But, I do wonder what will happen to the younger generation who are only living for today. What will happen when they want to "retire" at age 55, 60 or 65? Will they have savings to fall back on? Will they ever be able to retire? I know that many are not thinking that far down the line. I was talking to my DDs 22, 20 about this. I said when I was growing up there were supermodels in magazines, tv shows with perfect families where when conflict happened it all ended with I love yous. You might have eished to be skinnier, prettier, have such a fun life as a tv show but you knew it was all just Hollywood. Now everyone on social media is perfect. Starting an account about Amazon buys or their cat and soon they are getting free things, vacations etc. Somehow they skyrocketed to a million followers and you're at a thousand. Keeping up with the trendy things to purchase, creating that want and must have in everything from Stanley cups to house decor or vacations. Meanwhile my mom still uses the dishes, Tupoerware, pots she got almost 50 years ago for her wedding. They didn't make a lot but are retired comfortably now. You said will they have savings to fall back on? I wonder this too. If they continued to keep up with the trendy Joneses for the next 40 years, will they look back and think I'm happy I got my nails, hair, eyelashes done every 3 weeks, I'm happy I always had the latest Stanley mug <insert trend here>, I'm 75 and still working and that's ok. Or will they think I could have still lived and enjoyed life while also saving to retire early/at a normal time. Of course there have always been spenders and savers, is it more extreme now? Or is it just that the splashiest and trendiest are getting the most coverage? To the person OP was posting about, don't you think that your parents got down on working 40 hours a week also? Social media makes it seem like you can just follow your dreams, do a job you love, love everyday. Every generation has had people doing jobs they don't love, find some purpose outside of your work. I agree with your last paragraph. I have had many jobs in my life that I didn't like but it was to put food on the table and I had to pursue who I was outside of work. Even now, I'd much rather talk about my creative acts than what happened at work and I like the meat of my work. There just are always going to be some jobs that aren't fun, aren't fulfilling but hopefully at least you make enough to pay the bills. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Feb 4, 2024 22:00:05 GMT
Cue the boomer digs in 5, 4, 3, 2.... Ok I swear this is not what I wanted. I think there are differences between generations, how can there not be? I've been reading all sorts of things lately about generational differences and the teens/young adults today. I do believe there are some issues they are dealing with and as a mom, I want our society to make things better for them. That's my whole point |
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,198
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Feb 4, 2024 22:40:17 GMT
… I also think the housing market is out of control, especially in relation to housing costs. My parents house which they bought in the 70s for $30,000 would now sell for over $500,000. Yes, wages have gone up, but that is still insane.…. The housing market has changed so much, and is causing real problems for younger generations. And beyond the housing market issue is general housing availability. There isn’t enough affordable housing now, and in high cost of living areas, too many workers can’t afford to live where they work. That’s a huge problem, and not everyone can, or wants to, commute an hour or more each way so they can live in something they can afford on their own, or even with multiple roommates. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 4, 2024 22:52:26 GMT
My kids are lucky as they're targeting engineering - we know so many of their friends who are struggling. I've seen more and more - really look and try and understand before judging - you might be surprised. Note the only thing I judged is the comment that she doesn't have enough personal time. I do not know enough about her finances to comment there. And truly if not her, there are a lot of people not making ends meet. And I'll say that even the time issue I chalked up to immaturity. Because once you juggle the hectic schedule of a working mom with kids, child free, 40 hour work weeks seem like a vacation. But my Chloe did judge her financial decisions. I’ll say I don’t have enough information to make a judgement about her not having enough personal time working a full time job but no kids, etc. If she lives in a place with horrific commutes, maybe she really doesn’t have a lot of personal time at the end of the week. Honestly I can’t believe the commutes some people commit to for work. I live in a border town and on the days when I have to take my kid to school early (which is closer to the border) and there is so much traffic coming from the neighboring state with people heading toward their jobs in the cities which is another 20-40 minutes from where I live. That means those people have to be driving *at least* an hour each way, probably more, and I just couldn’t do it. I commented to DH about it one day and he said, “Yeah, well housing is so much cheaper over there so people feel like they get more house for the money living there.” But they’re paying so more in gas and time, so is that trade off really worth it? To me it wouldn’t be. Someone with an hour long commute working five days a week is adding another ten full hours to their work week, and that’s time they’re NOT getting paid for. I remember being so salty about all the hours I was wasting when I worked corporate jobs by having to commute back in the day. I feel for people who feel stuck doing that because they can’t live closer to their jobs for whatever reason. When I worked downtown and took the bus it was even worse. Even the express bus was way slower than driving, but driving myself wasn’t an option because parking costs downtown were astronomical and my job didn’t pay enough to offset that expense. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Feb 4, 2024 23:02:37 GMT
Note the only thing I judged is the comment that she doesn't have enough personal time. I do not know enough about her finances to comment there. And truly if not her, there are a lot of people not making ends meet. And I'll say that even the time issue I chalked up to immaturity. Because once you juggle the hectic schedule of a working mom with kids, child free, 40 hour work weeks seem like a vacation. But my Chloe did judge her financial decisions. I’ll say I don’t have enough information to make a judgement about her not having enough personal time working a full time job but no kids, etc. If she lives in a place with horrific commutes, maybe she really doesn’t have a lot of personal time at the end of the week. Honestly I can’t believe the commutes some people commit to for work. I live in a border town and on the days when I have to take my kid to school early (which is closer to the border) and there is so much traffic coming from the neighboring state with people heading toward their jobs in the cities which is another 20-40 minutes from where I live. That means those people have to be driving *at least* an hour each way, probably more, and I just couldn’t do it. I commented to DH about it one day and he said, “Yeah, well housing is so much cheaper over there so people feel like they get more house for the money living there.” But they’re paying so more in gas and time, so is that trade off really worth it? To me it wouldn’t be. Someone with an hour long commute working five days a week is adding another ten full hours to their work week, and that’s time they’re NOT getting paid for. I remember being so salty about all the hours I was wasting when I worked corporate jobs by having to commute back in the day. I feel for people who feel stuck doing that because they can’t live closer to their jobs for whatever reason. When I worked downtown and took the bus it was even worse. Even the express bus was way slower than driving, but driving myself wasn’t an option because parking costs downtown were astronomical and my job didn’t pay enough to offset that expense. It was stated in the comments that she works from home. I can't confirm. |
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Post by Embri on Feb 4, 2024 23:36:01 GMT
The second issue in the video and the one that I really took issue with is the issue of time. I mean young, single, childless woman working 40 hours should have plenty of personal time for herself. But she claims that with household responsibilities she feels like she's working 7 days a week. The 40 hour work week was meant to support a family of 4+, including a stay-at-home adult (who was also doing a full time job), multiple kids, utilities, a mortgage, a car, vacations, retirement savings - all the middle-class 'luxuries'. Very few jobs measure up to that today. It's virtually required for two+ adults to work to sustain a household financially. |
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Post by Linda on Feb 4, 2024 23:36:24 GMT
I just want to pop in and say that some people need a lot more decompression time than others after a day at work, and it eats into or takes over what might be "me" time for another person. People who are neurodivergent in one way or another may simply need to sit and stare at the wall or do something very mindless for some amount of time after work before they can even get around to household tasks/exercising/socializing/etc. My oldest calls it dissociating, though it's not exactly that. She needs it and I need it even to function. It's not optional. Yes- this - my whole family are introverted and neuro-spicy - the first thing any of us do when we get home is find a quiet space and decompress |
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Post by busy on Feb 4, 2024 23:55:12 GMT
But, I do wonder what will happen to the younger generation who are only living for today. What will happen when they want to "retire" at age 55, 60 or 65? Will they have savings to fall back on? Will they ever be able to retire? I know that many are not thinking that far down the line. This is the norm for young adults since Gen X, IMO. Most of us grow out of it. |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Feb 4, 2024 23:56:40 GMT
My kids are lucky as they're targeting engineering - we know so many of their friends who are struggling. I've seen more and more - really look and try and understand before judging - you might be surprised. Note the only thing I judged is the comment that she doesn't have enough personal time. I do not know enough about her finances to comment there. And truly if not her, there are a lot of people not making ends meet. And I'll say that even the time issue I chalked up to immaturity. Because once you juggle the hectic schedule of a working mom with kids, child free, 40 hour work weeks seem like a vacation. But my Chloe did judge her financial decisions. I know you're not judging - my post is for all the brads, chads and karens who think they know. I KNOW my kid's lucky - as i said we have so many friends who are still figuring it out. It's not nearly as easy a work hard and you'll be awarded. |
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Post by Merge on Feb 5, 2024 0:06:16 GMT
I just want to pop in and say that some people need a lot more decompression time than others after a day at work, and it eats into or takes over what might be "me" time for another person. People who are neurodivergent in one way or another may simply need to sit and stare at the wall or do something very mindless for some amount of time after work before they can even get around to household tasks/exercising/socializing/etc. My oldest calls it dissociating, though it's not exactly that. She needs it and I need it even to function. It's not optional. Yes- this - my whole family are introverted and neuro-spicy - the first thing any of us do when we get home is find a quiet space and decompress Yes. And before anyone says oh, older generations didn't need all that time and space ... they did. The possibility of a stay at home spouse allowed for it. My dad needed quiet and two beers after work before he would deal with any of us. That was possible because mom was home all day and already had dinner and kids under control. Mom got her alone time - though I think she needed it less - when we were at school or, before that, during nap time or play time. A one-income household simply with that division of labor isn't possible for most families any more. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Feb 5, 2024 0:23:30 GMT
I just want to pop in and say that some people need a lot more decompression time than others after a day at work, and it eats into or takes over what might be "me" time for another person. People who are neurodivergent in one way or another may simply need to sit and stare at the wall or do something very mindless for some amount of time after work before they can even get around to household tasks/exercising/socializing/etc. My oldest calls it dissociating, though it's not exactly that. She needs it and I need it even to function. It's not optional. Yes- this - my whole family are introverted and neuro-spicy - the first thing any of us do when we get home is find a quiet space and decompress Are there people in this world who *don't* need that? I have never met a person who doesn't need to decompress. Even Jeremy does and he's about as laid back and easy going as ever I met a person. He still needs to take a mental break when he gets home before he's ready to interact with me or begin a chore. I'm neurodivergent and some days I'm more productive than others. I'm not discounting the need for rest. I'm just saying, at what point do we say a person has enough time to rest? Sometimes I really feel in meaningful ways we aren't doing enough and being sensitive enough to people who truly need us to be yet we are so busy qualifying and making exceptions for the vast majority of people we've gotten to the point where we can't even have an opinion without qualifying that X, Y, and Z are apparently exceptions to the rule. And I get that there's a spectrum, however I believe we are getting to the point where we are starting to put damn near everybody at the differently abled end of the spectrum and it's harming people. Sometimes I feel like the focus of things has been shifted from what you can do to what you can't do. I get that acceptance is a good thing, Lord knows I have been fighting for mental health acceptance for a very long time, but I fight twice as hard for adaptation for me and my kids. In fact, adaptation is my favorite mental health thing to talk about because I enjoy the sharing of tips and tricks to be successful living with neurodivergence. |
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Post by Merge on Feb 5, 2024 0:30:54 GMT
Yes- this - my whole family are introverted and neuro-spicy - the first thing any of us do when we get home is find a quiet space and decompress Are there people in this world who *don't* need that? I have never met a person who doesn't need to decompress. Even Jeremy does and he's about as laid back and easy going as ever I met a person. He still needs to take a mental break when he gets home before he's ready to interact with me or begin a chore. I'm neurodivergent and some days I'm more productive than others. I'm not discounting the need for rest. I'm just saying, at what point do we say a person has enough time to rest? Sometimes I really feel in meaningful ways we aren't doing enough and being sensitive enough to people who truly need us to be yet we are so busy qualifying and making exceptions for the vast majority of people we've gotten to the point where we can't even have an opinion without qualifying that X, Y, and Z are apparently exceptions to the rule. And I get that there's a spectrum, however I believe we are getting to the point where we are starting to put damn near everybody at the differently abled end of the spectrum and it's harming people. Sometimes I feel like the focus of things has been shifted from what you can do to what you can't do. I get that acceptance is a good thing, Lord knows I have been fighting for mental health acceptance for a very long time, but I fight twice as hard for adaptation for me and my kids. In fact, adaptation is my favorite mental health thing to talk about because I enjoy the sharing of tips and tricks to be successful living with neurodivergence. Well, I guess you can look at it as "all these people are lazy and need to work harder" or "all these people need more downtime than our work requirements and hustle culture generally allow." The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. But I feel the former narrative is largely being pushed by the people who stand to profit most from folks working themselves to death and, as with most things, there is a subset of the working folks who choose to ally themselves with the power base by agreeing with them. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Feb 5, 2024 0:34:17 GMT
Are there people in this world who *don't* need that? I have never met a person who doesn't need to decompress. Even Jeremy does and he's about as laid back and easy going as ever I met a person. He still needs to take a mental break when he gets home before he's ready to interact with me or begin a chore. I'm neurodivergent and some days I'm more productive than others. I'm not discounting the need for rest. I'm just saying, at what point do we say a person has enough time to rest? Sometimes I really feel in meaningful ways we aren't doing enough and being sensitive enough to people who truly need us to be yet we are so busy qualifying and making exceptions for the vast majority of people we've gotten to the point where we can't even have an opinion without qualifying that X, Y, and Z are apparently exceptions to the rule. And I get that there's a spectrum, however I believe we are getting to the point where we are starting to put damn near everybody at the differently abled end of the spectrum and it's harming people. Sometimes I feel like the focus of things has been shifted from what you can do to what you can't do. I get that acceptance is a good thing, Lord knows I have been fighting for mental health acceptance for a very long time, but I fight twice as hard for adaptation for me and my kids. In fact, adaptation is my favorite mental health thing to talk about because I enjoy the sharing of tips and tricks to be successful living with neurodivergence. Well, I guess you can look at it as "all these people are lazy and need to work harder" or "all these people need more downtime than our work requirements and hustle culture generally allow." The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. But I feel the former narrative is largely being pushed by the people who stand to profit most from folks working themselves to death and, as with most things, there is a subset of the working folks who choose to ally themselves with the power base by agreeing with them. Don't disagree with you. The truth is in the middle. I feel like sometimes we are losing sight of what that is. We are more alike than different. And if any change is going to happen on any level we need to band together to make it happen. |
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Post by Embri on Feb 5, 2024 1:31:27 GMT
A one-income household simply with that division of labor isn't possible for most families any more. Let's not forget that the amount of work expected for however-many-hours a person is at their job has also gone through the roof. Stores are chronically understaffed, there's no slack in staffing to keep things running smoothly if someone has to call out. Employees are often required to juggle multiple roles or tasks and be on-call for extra hours whenever needed. Just doing what you're paid for is considered "not being a team player" or even quiet quitting. |
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