breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,966 
Location: PNW
|
Post by breetheflea on Feb 9, 2024 4:02:00 GMT
My MIL has had an appointment with a neurosurgeon scheduled for months. This particular neurosurgeon is about six hours from where MIL lives. Under no circumstances will they allow MIL to teleconference, communicate etc any way but in person. She must be seen in person. So the first appointment/consultation before possible surgery in a few months was today.
Meanwhile, last weekend FIL went into the hospital for unexplained bleeding. They decided they are going to do heart surgery on Friday (tomorrow). No the heart surgery is not why he's bleeding, they haven't figured that out yet... that is another story.
So, this morning MIL gets on the plane at 2 am, to get to her 8 am appointment. FIL's hospital decides, while MIL is on the plane, to do FIL's surgery today. Also, while she is on the plane, the neurosurgeon calls and cancels her appointment. She gets to the appointment, and finds out "well we tried to call..."
I think MIL (and her friend that accompanied her up here) went Home Alone mom on the neurosurgeon's office because someone got the neurosurgeon on the phone, and decided hmmm I guess maybe a video conference would be acceptable just this once.
And the reason the neurosurgeon canceled the appointment... her dog wasn't feeling well today.
I'm not sure how FIL's surgery went, because MIL was still at the airport when she called to talk to DH.
How was your day, I bet it wasn't this dramatic!
|
|
|
|
Post by auntiepeas on Feb 9, 2024 4:10:25 GMT
Omg, your poor MIL!
I really hope all went well with your FILs surgery and that whatever is causing the bleeding gets resolved quickly.
|
|
|
|
Post by revirdsuba99 on Feb 9, 2024 4:42:25 GMT
What a horror for your MIL. And doctors wonder why people are angry at them.
|
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Feb 9, 2024 6:10:05 GMT
What a horror for your MIL. And doctors wonder why people are angry at them. I kind of wonder too why you think we should be mad at doctors for needing an unscheduled day off on occasion. It's not normal circumstances that someone needs to come 6hrs away for an appt and you know what, Drs are allowed unscheduled days off once in a while too. I agree that this was very annoying for your MIL and i'm glad they agreed to the tele visit but you know, things happen. |
|
|
|
Post by dewryce on Feb 9, 2024 6:35:29 GMT
What a horror for your MIL. And doctors wonder why people are angry at them. I kind of wonder too why you think we should be mad at doctors for needing an unscheduled day off on occasion. It's not normal circumstances that someone needs to come 6hrs away for an appt and you know what, Drs are allowed unscheduled days off once in a while too. I agree that this was very annoying for your MIL and i'm glad they agreed to the tele visit but you know, things happen. Is that necessarily true though? I know that even in Austin and San Antonio there is a severe shortage of neurologists, and is taking an average of 4-6 months to be seen by one. If I could have gotten my mother to go to DFW or Houston after her stroke without waiting for so long I would have in a heartbeat. I can see a surgeon being even harder to get into, and those appointments are also often scheduled quite a ways in advance. Considering all of the areas in the country where it is hard to find a specialist period, I don’t think it is far-fetched at all. Especially considering the specialty, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect that other arrangements be made for the patient. Another doctor, tele-health as was done, etc. Perhaps she didn’t have to push, and she just went off due to stress, but I feel strongly that she shouldn’t have had to push to get those accommodations either. I am not at all saying health professionals can’t have unscheduled days off, that’s not only unrealistic but entirely unacceptable. For big appointments like this though, not a quarterly check-up with your local endocrinologist? I might have blown my top too if I walked in after waiting so long for an appointment, flying to get there, and the office staff tried to defend it with “we tried to call you” once they found out the circumstances. |
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Feb 9, 2024 8:10:15 GMT
I kind of wonder too why you think we should be mad at doctors for needing an unscheduled day off on occasion. It's not normal circumstances that someone needs to come 6hrs away for an appt and you know what, Drs are allowed unscheduled days off once in a while too. I agree that this was very annoying for your MIL and i'm glad they agreed to the tele visit but you know, things happen. Is that necessarily true though? I know that even in Austin and San Antonio there is a severe shortage of neurologists, and is taking an average of 4-6 months to be seen by one. If I could have gotten my mother to go to DFW or Houston after her stroke without waiting for so long I would have in a heartbeat. I can see a surgeon being even harder to get into, and those appointments are also often scheduled quite a ways in advance. Considering all of the areas in the country where it is hard to find a specialist period, I don’t think it is far-fetched at all. Especially considering the specialty, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect that other arrangements be made for the patient. Another doctor, tele-health as was done, etc. Perhaps she didn’t have to push, and she just went off due to stress, but I feel strongly that she shouldn’t have had to push to get those accommodations either. I am not at all saying health professionals can’t have unscheduled days off, that’s not only unrealistic but entirely unacceptable. For big appointments like this though, not a quarterly check-up with your local endocrinologist? I might have blown my top too if I walked in after waiting so long for an appointment, flying to get there, and the office staff tried to defend it with “we tried to call you” once they found out the circumstances. Well, perhaps it is normal for this office to have people coming from 6 hours away and I have never lived in an area where I couldn't find a specialist within an hour, even in Iowa. So I may be coming from that perspective. But I don't get the "Drs wonder why people are mad at them" though. It's not a doctor's fault you came from 6 hrs away. It's not the staff's fault for trying to tell you. Hopefully, tele appts will be more of the norm for this dr but I don't know what all she wants done in person. And it's entirely too "normal" for patients to think they can take any attitude they want with medical staff, as if only they and their lives matter and the staff can just suck up the verbal abuse. It's only gotten worse in recent years. NOT AT ALL SAYING OP DID THAT! This is not even aimed at her. It's aimed at the comment about being mad at doctors. |
|
|
|
Post by nightnurse on Feb 9, 2024 13:07:30 GMT
Telehealth is great for some things but some things require in person visits. And the billing hasn’t kept up with the technology so sometimes doctors can’t get paid or paid enough for Telehealth visits. And patients routinely want docs to work for free. Filling out FMLA paperwork? No billing code for that. I had a patient pass away at the nursing home and his regular PCP was on vacation and no one in the office would fill out the death certificate. Patient’s family didn’t want to wait the week for the doc to come back and I knew the patient well and said I’d fill out the death certificate. Dude called me every hour to check on progress and told me “this needs to be your priority.” My dude, I’m taking care of a 170 patients and those living patients are my priority. I’ll do your death certificate when I have some down time but it’s unpaid work for me and a courtesy. Call again, and I’ll turf it right back to the pcp office and you can wait a week. He could not understand how I wouldn’t just drop everything and prioritize his paperwork.
|
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Feb 9, 2024 13:09:22 GMT
That is awful. I don't want to judge anyone here, but OMG, I'd have lost my mind after spending time and money to fly to an appointment only to have it canceled.
|
|
peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,860
|
Post by peppermintpatty on Feb 9, 2024 13:14:10 GMT
It is not normal for a patient to have to travel 6 hours to see a doctor. I am pretty damn sure that the office didn't know that she was that far away. Even if they were told this, I guarantee that they didn't write it down in her chart or appt notes. Therefore, the doctor didn't know and it really isn't his fault. Neurology in all of it's forms is an extremely specialized field and of all the docs I have to see, getting a neurology appt is always the most challenging. My current neurologist has a 6 month wait for CURRENT patients and isn't seeing any new patients. I tried to find another one in a large practice and the earliest was 4 months.
If the doctor had known that she was getting on a plane to see him, I guarantee that he would have figured out a way to come in and see her. As for surgery, how is she going to handle this if she has to get on a plane to do a followup? She won't be able to travel back and forth for all her followups (possibly).
Yes, doctors do need time off (my father was a cardio-thoracic surgeon) but they should have someone to see patients if they fall ill. My father would say that a sick dog is not a valid reason to not see patients. I agree. The OP should have asked to receive a call from the doctor himself and explain the situation about her having to travel so far. When you complain to the front desk staff, they don't give a shit what your reasons are. They don't have the ability to make that decision. That is why you need to speak directly to the doctor and explain the situation. If an examination needed to be done then the doctor can ask another doctor in the patient's vicinity to do a professional courtesy and fit the patient in and perform an examination. It isn't common by any means but it can be done.
The lesson is ALWAYS speak to the doctor if you have an usual request. It may take a few phone calls and a week or so but it can be done.
|
|
|
|
Post by lisae on Feb 9, 2024 13:25:35 GMT
OMG, I would be so livid I wouldn't have been able to type all that out! I can understand why they needed to see her in person but since she was flying in for the appointment, the neurosurgeon should have been there, dog or no dog.
Seeing a neurosurgeon in our immediate area is a months long wait also. I hope all goes well with the surgeries.
|
|
|
|
Post by nightnurse on Feb 9, 2024 13:27:28 GMT
It is not normal for a patient to have to travel 6 hours to see a doctor. I am pretty damn sure that the office didn't know that she was that far away. Even if they were told this, I guarantee that they didn't write it down in her chart or appt notes. Therefore, the doctor didn't know and it really isn't his fault. Neurology in all of it's forms is an extremely specialized field and of all the docs I have to see, getting a neurology appt is always the most challenging. My current neurologist has a 6 month wait for CURRENT patients and isn't seeing any new patients. I tried to find another one in a large practice and the earliest was 4 months. If the doctor had known that she was getting on a plane to see him, I guarantee that he would have figured out a way to come in and see her. As for surgery, how is she going to handle this if she has to get on a plane to do a followup? She won't be able to travel back and forth for all her followups (possibly). Yes, doctors do need time off (my father was a cardio-thoracic surgeon) but they should have someone to see patients if they fall ill. My father would say that a sick dog is not a valid reason to not see patients. I agree. The OP should have asked to receive a call from the doctor himself and explain the situation about her having to travel so far. When you complain to the front desk staff, they don't give a shit what your reasons are. They don't have the ability to make that decision. That is why you need to speak directly to the doctor and explain the situation. If an examination needed to be done then the doctor can ask another doctor in the patient's vicinity to do a professional courtesy and fit the patient in and perform an examination. It isn't common by any means but it can be done. The lesson is ALWAYS speak to the doctor if you have an usual request. It may take a few phone calls and a week or so but it can be done. “Fitting a patient in” is next to impossible these days. Doctors offices overbook already, everyone else in the office already has a full schedule. They work through lunch. They chart at home. And then to be expected to call all their patients when they are out with an emergency? If I’m out of work, I’m out, I’m not continuing to work from home unpaid instead of focusing on my health or my family or pet. It is incredibly unfortunate that we have a shortage of health care providers and patients have to travel so far to be seen. It’s terrible to travel so far and be told the visit is cancelled. Insurance companies should pay for Telehealth visits. |
|
|
|
Post by mollycoddle on Feb 9, 2024 13:34:38 GMT
Whew! I would have been livid. I hope that both your MIL and FIL are ok.
|
|
|
|
Post by heckofagal on Feb 9, 2024 14:09:32 GMT
I was having life altering dizziness issues before I was diagnosed with Vestibular Migraines. I made an appt with a top neurologist in our area, but his office was over an hour away, and it took me 3-4 months to get an appointment. My DH took off work to drive me to the appt as I was too dizzy to drive. When I got there the front desk told me "we've been trying to call you, the doctor is out of the office today" and it was going to be another 3-4 months before I could get another appt. I SOBBED uncontrollably as we left that office. I'm sure the other people in that elevator assumed I had been diagnosed with a brain tumor or some reason for certain death in my immediate future. Turns out our answering machine was the only one dying at that point.
I'm sorry your inlaws are having health issues at the same time and that life is not cooperating. I've been there too when I had both parents in 2 different hospitals. Be sure to take care of yourself too!
|
|
|
|
Post by KikiPea on Feb 9, 2024 14:31:15 GMT
What a mess!
Hope your FIL is doing well.
|
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Feb 9, 2024 15:22:28 GMT
I can see both sides of this situation. It’s understandable that your MIL was distraught - especially when already stressed by what was going on with your FIL. But I also defend the doctor’s right to have a life beyond his or her profession.
For me, this illustrates the randomness of life. There is so very much out of our control. We like to think we can order our lives and be sure all our little ducks march in a row… but we’re merely comforting ourselves with that notion. Far better to hone your resilience and be ready to roll with the changes.
|
|
|
|
Post by Basket1lady on Feb 9, 2024 17:08:48 GMT
If you are seeing a doctor that far away, I would expect that she’s seeing a specialist.
Your poor MIL. I would be so upset to take the time and expense to travel to the appointment just to be turned away. Especially with all that’s going on and I thought that I’d have to go back again. I hope things improve for your family.
|
|
breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,966
Location: PNW
|
Post by breetheflea on Feb 9, 2024 17:36:12 GMT
In answer to some questions:
The surgery would be outpatient. I don't know how... but since we live closer to the hospital (about 30 minutes) whenever a date was set DH and I would help get MIL to the hospital, home etc... We weren't needed yesterday, we were "the backup plan."
MIL has bone spurs in her neck due to a car accident 20 years ago, and receives Botox injections that have stopped working. The surgery would kill some nerves in her neck.
The neurosurgeon decided yesterday after meeting MIL on Zoom or whatever doctors use, not to do the surgery. She wants to treat the problem with a different medication. That means, I guess, MIL won't have to make 2-3 more trips up here. Hopefully the medication option works.
The appointment was scheduled last summer, so the waiting list to see this particular doctor is at least 6 months.
I'm not sure how FIL is doing yet, DH will call later.
It's been a week... that's all I can say.
|
|
|
|
Post by smasonnc on Feb 9, 2024 19:13:21 GMT
I kind of wonder too why you think we should be mad at doctors for needing an unscheduled day off on occasion. It's not normal circumstances that someone needs to come 6hrs away for an appt and you know what, Drs are allowed unscheduled days off once in a while too. She refuses to do telemedicine for someone 6 hours away. Then, having inconvenienced the patient to the point of taking a 2 AM flight, she bails for a pet that doesn't feel well? I kind of wonder why you think we shouldn't be mad about that. I also defend the doctor’s right to have a life beyond his or her profession. Having a life beyond your profession is different from leaving human patients hanging for a sick dog. Seems kind of blase about her patients. |
|
Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,688
|
Post by Rhondito on Feb 9, 2024 19:51:36 GMT
I'm going to bet the dr didn't know she had a patient flying in from six hours away. I place all the blame on the office staff. When they realized where this patient was located they should have relayed that information to the dr immediately and told her they were not able to get in touch with the patient on the phone. Did your MIL have a backup contact on her paperwork? Perhaps you or your husband that they could've tried to call? At least if they spoke with you (or someone) they could've verified that MIL was on the plane headed to the appointment. (I know, I doubt they would go to so much trouble.) Such a shame for your MIL... on top of an already stressful time.
|
|
|
|
Post by dewryce on Feb 10, 2024 0:06:47 GMT
Is that necessarily true though? I know that even in Austin and San Antonio there is a severe shortage of neurologists, and is taking an average of 4-6 months to be seen by one. If I could have gotten my mother to go to DFW or Houston after her stroke without waiting for so long I would have in a heartbeat. I can see a surgeon being even harder to get into, and those appointments are also often scheduled quite a ways in advance. Considering all of the areas in the country where it is hard to find a specialist period, I don’t think it is far-fetched at all. Especially considering the specialty, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect that other arrangements be made for the patient. Another doctor, tele-health as was done, etc. Perhaps she didn’t have to push, and she just went off due to stress, but I feel strongly that she shouldn’t have had to push to get those accommodations either. I am not at all saying health professionals can’t have unscheduled days off, that’s not only unrealistic but entirely unacceptable. For big appointments like this though, not a quarterly check-up with your local endocrinologist? I might have blown my top too if I walked in after waiting so long for an appointment, flying to get there, and the office staff tried to defend it with “we tried to call you” once they found out the circumstances. Well, perhaps it is normal for this office to have people coming from 6 hours away and I have never lived in an area where I couldn't find a specialist within an hour, even in Iowa. So I may be coming from that perspective. But I don't get the "Drs wonder why people are mad at them" though. It's not a doctor's fault you came from 6 hrs away. It's not the staff's fault for trying to tell you. Hopefully, tele appts will be more of the norm for this dr but I don't know what all she wants done in person. And it's entirely too "normal" for patients to think they can take any attitude they want with medical staff, as if only they and their lives matter and the staff can just suck up the verbal abuse. It's only gotten worse in recent years. NOT AT ALL SAYING OP DID THAT! This is not even aimed at her. It's aimed at the comment about being mad at doctors. Yeah, I agree I don’t think the doctor should be blamed at all for having to take unexpected time off. If it’s their office though, then they are responsible for accommodations for situations such as these. And in this case, they did make them so I have no issue with that. I haven’t personally seen the abuse on medical staff, though I am not at all doubting it occurs, but I have seen it in restaurant and retail settings all too often. Again, absolutely 💯 unacceptable in all cases. While I get that medical issues cause extreme stress and anxiety as I have pretty bad medical anxiety myself, I have zero issues with a patient being dismissed for verbal abuse. See them for anything fairly emergent and/or time sensitive, or make sure they can get in with someone else immediately, but beyond that see ya. On the other side of the coin, I have tons of health issues and more doctors than most people have friends and I have had more than my fair share of office staff acting like complete assholes. A little bit of compassion goes a long way and so many of them don’t have it. Not only just lack of compassion, but a complete lack of desire to do their jobs, do it well, or especially be at all helpful. The “too bad so sad” attitude I run into with these particular positions occurs so frequently. I haven’t even been referring to the medical staff, but those at the front desk. And yes, I am always very kind to them, even when terrified and/or in tons of pain. I did retail and food service as my first jobs and those lessons have always stuck with me. Sure, like in every profession there are bad doctors and nurses and I’ve even fired a few myself, but it didn’t come across to me like they were the issue here. The doctor went out of her way, against their protocol, to make that appointment happen. Side note: I had an appointment with a new doctor yesterday, from a medical practice I stopped using 14 years ago entirely due to their office staff. I loved my doctor, but had issues with the front office staff at every single appointment. They moved, it’s been a long time, and my GP recommended this doctor so I thought I tried again. The entire office staff (and the nurse) were absolutely amazing. And the reason I’m happily willing to give the doctor another chance. Because he was a complete ass, asking me questions and talking over my answers, talking to me like I’m a complete idiot, and dismissing something I said. I get that everyone has bad days, but with my experience at this practice last time that would have been the last straw save for the many other wonderful people there I dealt with yesterday. |
|
|
|
Post by dewryce on Feb 10, 2024 0:11:54 GMT
I was having life altering dizziness issues before I was diagnosed with Vestibular Migraines. I made an appt with a top neurologist in our area, but his office was over an hour away, and it took me 3-4 months to get an appointment. My DH took off work to drive me to the appt as I was too dizzy to drive. When I got there the front desk told me "we've been trying to call you, the doctor is out of the office today" and it was going to be another 3-4 months before I could get another appt. I SOBBED uncontrollably as we left that office. I'm sure the other people in that elevator assumed I had been diagnosed with a brain tumor or some reason for certain death in my immediate future. Turns out our answering machine was the only one dying at that point. I'm sorry your inlaws are having health issues at the same time and that life is not cooperating. I've been there too when I had both parents in 2 different hospitals. Be sure to take care of yourself too! To me, that is completely unacceptable, I can’t believe they didn’t work you in the next week, MAYBE two. I’ve had many doctor’s appointments canceled last minute, but they have always made sure to work me in as quickly as possible. To make you wait again as if you didn’t have an appointment in the first place? No words, I’m so sorry you went through that. |
|
sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,595
Member is Online
|
Post by sweetpeasmom on Feb 11, 2024 14:57:32 GMT
I would have gone Home Alone mom too!! I hope all went well with FIL's surgery.
|
|
