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Post by airforcemomof1 on Apr 9, 2024 14:33:43 GMT
Catch me at just the right time and yes I would definitely confront him. Not much to lose the way I see it. ETA I believe the OP has much worse things she feels he does to his parents than the two things she posted. I based my answer on that. I don’t have any way to know why she doesn’t post those things nor do I feel she has to in order for me to form my opinion.
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Post by Prenticekid on Apr 9, 2024 14:54:07 GMT
Based on those two examples, stay out of it. I know we Peas have totally encouraged other Peas to opt out of Christmas gift exchanges over the years. And, rehearsal dinners are for the people who rehearsed, or were initially. Just because people are now making them a second reception type party, doesn't mean everyone has to. Kudos to the bride and groom for holding the line and keeping it small.
I'm sure we can come up with more egregious examples of adult children being sh*tty to family.
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 140
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Apr 9, 2024 16:10:00 GMT
Stay out of it.
There, I told you. Now, need more info. During the family gift exchange, did he decide not to participate anymore after he picked a member of your family? Or did he make his decision before the names were picked? If he decided before the names were picked, then that's his prerogative. I don't see that as being against his mother. I think it's a good decision on his part. If it's after, in that he actually went through with picking a name and decided to opt out once he got a member of your immediate family, then yeah. That is quite disrespectful. But against your family, not his mom.
The rehearsal dinner, as others have said, not normally a big gathering like the reception after the ceremony. But the fact that your sons were not invited to that, and others were, does seem like a slam against your family again. To be more specific, against your sons since it sounds like you and your husband were invited. Not against his mom though. If any of the other examples are a direct slam against his mom and you saw it happen first hand, then I'd say something. I know I'd stick up for my sister even it's to her children or husband. But if they are something your sister told you about, that's second hand knowledge and don't say anything at all to him. It could just make things worse.
But it sounds more like he has a beef with your family. I think it's quite alright for you to say something to him if another incident occurs against your family. You say there are other incidences but you only gave us these two examples. And they both seem directed at YOUR family. I'm probably reading more into the Christmas gift exchange portion. But neither of these examples seem to be directed against his mom. So ask him why he appears to be angry with your family, but leave his mom out of it. Maybe something happened between him and your sons that you are unaware of.
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