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Post by cmpeter on Apr 25, 2024 18:30:51 GMT
Seriously folks…how hard is it to be a responsible RECEIVER? I’m giving you the item for free.
Saturday I listed four items all with dimensions and noted they are porch pick up. . Only one has been picked up.
Wooden chest - please yes…must have for my son’s pirate themed bedroom. 5 days of sorry traffic was bad, work ran over, etc.
Wire basket drawer unit - yes, must have. After dm-ing pick up location “But, I take the bus and can’t pick up.”
Two large wooden bookshelves - please, I can pick up tonight. After dm-ing pick up location he asks “can these fit in a small suv?”
I’m just done. I’m trying to be helpful and reduce waste. But, I’m ready to just drive it all to Value Village. I don’t have time to manage these flakes.
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 25, 2024 18:36:06 GMT
And on the receiver end it gets frustrating saying you want an item and you never hear back from the lister person. Yeah, I'm about done with it all myself too. I'll have a garage sale or donate it to ARC or local thrift shop.
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gottapeanow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,832 
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Post by gottapeanow on Apr 25, 2024 19:20:37 GMT
I love our BN group so much and just gave two things yesterday.
We are allowed to tattle to the admins in our BN group if we have no shows. I think that helps with the flakes.
A bit OT.
Weird story. Pretend my address is 100 Exact Ave. S.
There is another house at 100 Exact Ave. W.
The house is right around the corner. Weirdly, she is my BN group, and I chose her for something a while back. When I messaged her my address for the pick up, we were a bit surprised. But kinda fun.
Also, I did was that person once in my BN group for fresh lemons. (I still feel bad.) It was Christmas, and life was hectic. Still, I shouldn't have asked.
Finally, sometimes, I just have zero motivation to post things to the group and just donate to the local thrift store.
Lisa
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leeny
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,806
Location: Northern California
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on Apr 25, 2024 19:21:40 GMT
I always put a pick-up by day when I respond to receivers. If they don't show by the day before I remind them. I hate that I have to do this, especially with those that jump on requesting it right after I list it. I am trying to do the right thing also but hate donating to someplace that might just dump my items anyway. Lately I list on more than one Buy Nothing (my county and separate city listing) and Nextdoor and Freecycle.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Apr 25, 2024 19:28:28 GMT
That is frustrating.
I would put the disclaimer of "first come, first served...no holds" on anything listed.
Anything that doesn't fit in my car (furniture items), I put on the street with a free sign on. First come, first serve.
Whatever I put out there, is usually gone within an hour or two.
Thankfully there is no HOA, so I don't have to worry about any neighborhood tattletales making a complaint because a piece of furniture is sitting at the curb for a little bit.
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Post by cmpeter on Apr 25, 2024 20:01:56 GMT
We don’t get enough drive by traffic to put stuff on a curb (it’s just us and three neighbors that would see it). I loved doing that at our previous house.
I don’t want to put first come, first served because the I’d have to share my address with the full group or be sharing in messenger over and over.
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Post by monklady123 on Apr 25, 2024 20:15:47 GMT
I just this minute set out a bunch of stuff for pickup. lol. Yes, the flakers are annoying. So most of us regulars in my Buy Nothing group keep a blacklist. You get on it by not showing up, or by saying "oh I couldn't come by this afternoon, but tomorrow morning for sure!" and then tomorrow morning you have another excuse. Also people who say they want EVERYTHING get on the list also because we suspect they're just reselling. I mean, technically that shouldn't bother us because we're getting rid of it so who cares what the receiver does with it. But the main culprit in our group who always wants everything is also kind of demanding -- like if she doesn't get picked for something she'll send a message (which is against the rules) asking how we chose the person we did. One day I'll get annoyed and tell her "I didn't pick you because you annoy me". hahaha No, probably not, but I do think it.  Sometimes if I have an item that several people want I'll tell dh "pick a number between 1 and 6 but not 4." He'll reply "and is #4 on the blacklist?" yep. Other times I just pick who I want, especially if several blacklist people have replied. I've met some nice people through Buy Nothing who I probably wouldn't have crossed paths with otherwise. |
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
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Post by Rhondito on Apr 25, 2024 20:22:21 GMT
I once did this with a couch and recliner. One man wanted to know if I would hold it for him until he got off work at 9:00pm  Um, no. I live alone and wasn't too keen on a stranger coming to my house at night. |
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,736
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Apr 25, 2024 20:26:22 GMT
I love my BN group but that has a lot to do with the moderators. I also have no qualms tattling on people and will block people who make gifting hard.
Sometimes if I have a popular item I will see if I have gifted to somebody before by going into my messenger and seeing what our conversation was like. If I can tell that they were someone easy to gift to than a lot of times, I just pick them again knowing that they are reliable.
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Post by melanell on Apr 25, 2024 20:32:50 GMT
The woman in charge of our group is pretty fierce when it comes to kicking out flakers. So that helps us. But even so, I always roll my eyes at the people who yell "Interested!!!" within 60 seconds, but then don't answer my message to them for hours, and then need a week and a half to come get the item. I noticed some other folks doing this, and now I try to remember to do it as well, and that's to insist that any interested parties say when they can pick it up right in their "interested" comment. So I can see that 3 people are interested and can come today, one will come tomorrow, and one didn't bother to read and/or honor my request and only said "interested".  |
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caangel
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Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Apr 25, 2024 20:40:54 GMT
I have a pretty good personal friend who is horrible at pickup. So even though she's a friend of mine, I avoid choosing her whenever I can.
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Post by Prenticekid on Apr 25, 2024 20:42:04 GMT
This is why I got out of those type of groups. No matter what, people have to make stuff hard. It can get so ridiculous. Now, I just save stuff up and call a donations truck to come get it. They just show up at the time you picked and grab the stuff off your porch.
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Post by snugglebutter on Apr 25, 2024 20:50:49 GMT
I like our group overall, but flaky recipients really get annoying. If I am doing a "drawing," I am totally going to pick someone who has picked up promptly in the past or has gifted me something.
Several times I have posted that I have boxes at the end of my driveway for whoever wants to come and go through them. That generally gets rid of things quickly.
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Post by monklady123 on Apr 25, 2024 20:52:15 GMT
I love my BN group but that has a lot to do with the moderators. I also have no qualms tattling on people and will block people who make gifting hard. Sometimes if I have a popular item I will see if I have gifted to somebody before by going into my messenger and seeing what our conversation was like. If I can tell that they were someone easy to gift to than a lot of times, I just pick them again knowing that they are reliable. I do that also...checking our messenger history. lol The other thing that annoys me, probably unreasonably lol, is when I list multiple items I always say "please reply under each individual photo". That's easier for me to keep track than if people reply on the main post and say "interested in x, y, and z"... Well there is ALWAYS someone who either says (on the main post) "Interested in all!" or says (also on the main post) "interested in the mugs". And the mugs are the third photo and there are already two other people who want the mugs. That person who didn't read is not getting the mugs. Pet peeve of mine is people who don't READ. ugh. (not just in Buy Nothing, but generally in life. haha) |
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Post by cmpeter on Apr 25, 2024 20:52:24 GMT
I’ve got a lot of stuff to de stash as we are prepping to move. I’ll try the suggestion to add that they must come on xx to pick up.
We no longer have anyone with a donation truck that comes and does pick ups. There used to be a charity that did that and I loved it…but the stopped during Covid.
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,310
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Post by pantsonfire on Apr 25, 2024 21:08:36 GMT
That is frustrating. I would put the disclaimer of "first come, first served...no holds" on anything listed. Anything that doesn't fit in my car (furniture items), I put on the street with a free sign on. First come, first serve. Whatever I put out there, is usually gone within an hour or two. Thankfully there is no HOA, so I don't have to worry about any neighborhood tattletales making a complaint because a piece of furniture is sitting at the curb for a little bit. In the BN group I belonged to, that was not allowed. You posted an item with description, photo(s), and pick up instructions. Then people asked for the item along with their story if why. After awhile it felt kind of gross to have grown adult women giving their sob stories as to why they deserved the item. Then it was the same few every single time followed by being upset they didn't get the item or were excluded because pick up was during a time that didn't work for them or they needed it dropped off or whatever else. It got out of hand. And then after several no shows and 1 item not described correctly that I was selected for, I bounced. Now I just donate to Goodwill or local schools. |
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caangel
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Posts: 5,736
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Apr 25, 2024 21:11:37 GMT
My BN does not encourage sob stories, I hate them. It doesn't discourage them but it is always up to the giver to decide how to give. If you want it gone fast post it as a flash give and state a pick up requirement (like pick up by end of today or tomorrow). Then it is the first person to claim it. If they can confirm a pick up time quickly then I move on.
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breetheflea
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Posts: 6,597
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on Apr 25, 2024 21:18:33 GMT
I like to have something to answer in my listing "what are you doing to do with this item" and then I don't pick anyone who doesn't answer the question. Reading comprehension seems to equal better chance of something getting picked up...
I also almost always say I'm leaving the item on the porch, come get it whenever, so I don't have to do the back and forth about when they'll be here.
The last two not-picked up items were both people I know, and easily could get to my house (one could walk here in less than a minute)... go figure.
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Post by jemali on Apr 25, 2024 21:38:42 GMT
I’ve had very good luck with my BN group. I haven’t had anyone say they wanted something and then no-show.
There’s one gal in our group that comments Interested on almost every item. I know she works at a school and is active in her church, so I’m sure all the items are not for her. But is gets annoying seeing her name all the time.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Apr 26, 2024 1:35:27 GMT
I haven’t actually posted stuff in our buy nothing group. But put things up for sale years ago before our move snd the number of flakes was crazy. That snd people wanting you to practically give them the items. Our buy nothing is pretty strict and I know there is no reselling if items you got for free. That will get you kicked out of the group same with flakes. There are a lot of rules and kind of afraid to do something wrong snd getting kicked out lol.
I have posted larger free items on the curb and given the approximate areas my street name and the cross street it’s worked well. I don’t have to monitor messages and wait for any one person. We don’t get much traffic so this draws them in.
I keep thinking I will do a garage sale but I don’t want to hold stuff longer once I decide it’s time to go. I have held on to a few of DS’s things that might bring a little bit of cash but never got around to it last Christmas.
I do better usually just dropping off a bag of stuff or on a good week maybe filling the trunk.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 26, 2024 2:13:52 GMT
The group I’m in is really good by comparison. I haven’t ever had anyone totally flake on picking up the stuff. I know we’re supposed to let things simmer for a bit and draw a name or whatever, but by the time I get stuff posted I just want it GONE so sometimes I do just let the first person to respond have it. I don’t like the people who DM the giver without posting in the group, that’s supposed to be a big no no.
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Post by KikiPea on Apr 26, 2024 2:24:25 GMT
I removed myself from all of them on FB. I just can’t deal with people for nothing. It’s not worth the stress of depending on someone to actually do what they say they well. Heck, I made a custom order that I didn’t get pd for for weeks because I guess they thought they’d pay when they picked it up. They finally pd when I posted a vague book about non payers, but still hasn’t picked it up, and that was weeks ago. She lives about an hour away, and still hasn’t made it here like she said she would. I have offered to ship multiple times with no response other than she’ll be up this way at some point.
I know that’s not quite the same situation, but if someone who has pd for something doesn’t care to pick up in a timely manner, those who are getting something for free take even more advantage of those giving things away. So frustrating.
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Post by Merge on Apr 26, 2024 3:00:41 GMT
I don’t do holds any more for this reason. Item is on curb, PM me for address, first come, first served. I’ve rarely had anything still there by the time the sun sets.
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Post by glory77 on Apr 26, 2024 5:09:16 GMT
I always say in the listing to only message me when you are ready and able to pick up. And then when I get the message, I ask if they are leaving now, tell them I live close to xxx grocery store and ask how soon will they be here. Only then will I give them my address. And if they don’t show somewhat within the time frame they said, I message them that I’ve moved on to the next person. I give SO much stuff away, but I’m not messing around with people that can’t pick up fast. If you want it, especially for free, make it a priority and pick it up fast.
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Post by melanell on Apr 26, 2024 12:46:04 GMT
Pet peeve of mine is people who don't READ. ugh. (not just in Buy Nothing, but generally in life. haha)  Oh my gosh--you & me, both! I'm constantly complaining about people not reading things---but that complaint could be a whole thread of its own. As for the Buy Nothing groups---I'm the same---if you can't follow my easy request about how to express interest, (as in expressing interest under photo) then I'm not choosing you. It's that simple. I also check to see if someone was a pill or a flake previously, and then I avoid them in the future. |
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Post by melanell on Apr 26, 2024 12:50:01 GMT
You posted an item with description, photo(s), and pick up instructions. Then people asked for the item along with their story if why. After awhile it felt kind of gross to have grown adult women giving their sob stories as to why they deserved the item. Then it was the same few every single time followed by being upset they didn't get the item or were excluded because pick up was during a time that didn't work for them or they needed it dropped off or whatever else. Oh gosh, this sounds awful. We don't have any of that, thank goodness! I don't blame you for not wanting to deal with that. One time someone posted an item and asked people to explain why they needed it, and that got shut down right quick. People flipped out about the fact that they asked & then admin swooped in to say "absolutely not". |
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 26, 2024 15:01:57 GMT
Oh the sob story people.... Please my mom, dad, kids, husband and cat all died last week, please pick me.... OYE...
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