Ageism or not

I think the difficulty with driving in particular, is that most of us tend to think we’re good drivers and that view is unlikely to change just because we’re older - because we often ‘feel’ the same. The reality is that as we age our reactions are slower, our physical movements are usually less nimble or swift and we tire more quickly .

I think at the ages you mentioned it’s not unreasonable to think that those activities come with some risk. I call that realistic not ageist.

Depends on alot of factors besides age.

How often does the 80 year old drive? If they drive several times a week, they would be much more likely to be fine to drive the long haul than if they have not sat behind a wheel for several months. Or if they DO drive, but are a crappy driver.

Why does the 100 year old need a caregiver? Driving the lawn tractor may be right within their wheelhouse. Is he risking anyone but himself? If not, and if cutting grass gives them peace and a sense of worth, then I say go for it.

In CA you can recommend (I believe anonymously) a driver past a certain age be reevaluated to the DMV and they will receive notification that they need to come in to be revaluated for their licence. Might be worth a look if your state has something similar.

I have an 80 year old friend who I would trust to drive anywhere, any time. No one can believe she's 80 - she's incredibly youthful and vital.

Who knows what she'll be like at 85, but right now? I would have no issue with it.

Does he even need a license if he is keeping his lawn mower on his own property? It sounds like he is trying to keep “active”, even if he is having a hard time. As long as he doesn’t operate the mower on the street, or drive an actual car, I would probably just leave him be.

The 85-year old, it all depends as others have said about how often and how far she drives. I knew a lady in her mid-80’s who often drove to Las Vegas from South Orange County on a regular basis. She took a friend with her, but it still surprised me. A neighbor was still driving in his early 90’s. I was behind him once and you would never know the driver was a 90 year old man. So it all depends on the person. People age differently. Some 80 year olds should definitely stop driving.

I had a neighbour who drove from Scotland to Germany twice a year until she was 92! The first trip was for her annual high school reunion, and the second was to see family. Given her generation, I always wondered how many people could possibly have turned up at the reunion every year! 🫣

Yes, it all depends on so many things.

That said my dd was rear ended by a 95 year old woman the other day. She was stopped at a light and hit from behind. Pushed her into the car in front. DD is fine and her car is driveable but needs a lot of work front and rear end. She said it was clear to her and the police officer that this woman should not have been driving.

I live in Florida, so I think that qualifies me as an expert. Some 85 year olds are very proficient drivers, but most are not. I would think an eight hour trip would be strenuous for even the best 85-year-old driver. You may know someone who’s 85 who is competent to do so but that’s not data.

As for 100 year old man on a riding lawnmower, I think that’s a nope. Combine the heat, medication, and compromised coordination with a sharp spinning blade and it’s a formula for disaster. My grandfather cut the daylights out of himself when the mower tipped over on him after he ran over a small object in the yard. He was only in his 70s. Also not data, but a good example of why a 100 year old shouldn’t be driving a riding mower

I hardly post here but thought I would tell you what my 80 year old husband did this week.  One day he moved all the bedroom furniture and deep cleaned the entire room.  Next day he did the same in the family room and dining room. Day after that he pressure washed the sidewalks and driveway.  The week before he pressure washed the screened porch and all the porch furniture and cleaned the decorative lights strung around the porch one at a time.  Today he put the porch rug on the driveway and pressure washed that.  He moves slower and takes more breaks but absolutely cannot sit and do nothing.

  He drives just fine---only accident he has ever been in is when someone using their phone rear ended him (he was about 60 when that happened).  If you stay active and do not have dementia there is no reason no to drive.  Our car has that thing that puts the brakes for you and once someone pulled in front of him really close and the car stopped.  (By the way--that feature is pretty scary because it stops the car on a dime and I hope it doesn't have to do that again).  Cars now have sensors that beep if you go out of your lane and cruise control that stays a certain length behind  the car in front of you.  Family members know when loved ones should stop driving but it is a difficult subject to bring up.  I remember when my sister was diagnosed with alzheimer's and the doctor said she could no longer drive, even in the first stages.  This was so hard for her. I know some people who only drive around their town but would never drive on a major highway.  

Your neighbor has lived a long life and if he cannot injure someone else then he is trying to be useful.  It will be sad if he injures himself but better than just sitting all the time.  This is a very tough subject and one that we all will face if we live a long life.  

The 86 year old female drives every day.

This describes me. And I plan to drive DH and me home from the beach this September. It is a 7 hour trip. The trip to the beach will include an overnight stop at our son’s house, but the return trip will not.   And I think I will be fine. If I become tired, we will stop for the night.  There are so many facets to getting old, but some of us have aged very well. I do not look or feel that old. And my children think I am a very good driver. DH drives around town, but not the interstate. 

My MIL is 75, so not particularly old, but she has advanced Parkinson’s and dementia and should have stopped driving at least 15 years ago. She finally stopped driving a few years ago after two accidents in a row similar to what you describe, but those accidents followed years of trying both to persuade her to stop driving and to persuade the DMV to revoke her license (they had done so, and then she won an appeal to get it back). It was so upsetting. I learned the hard way that it can be incredibly difficult to stop a dangerous driver from driving.

Again, if she wants to ride a golf cart around her own property and get herself hurt, that is bad but her problem; I think we need better systems for dealing with people who refuse to stop driving when driving becomes dangerous.

^^^ You are being realistic about this trip.  Taking 2 days to drive down and also cognitive that you may have to take 2 days to drive home.

Is this mainly Interstate driving or County Roads?

I live in an area with a lot of (what you would call Interstate hwy) 400 series hwys, speeds of 100/110/km/hr. (60-70/mph). Very busy like the 403, QEW and 401. Lots of transports and fast moving vehicles, lots of construction on these busy roads with a lot of distracted drivers.  Toronto/GTHA is the busiest in North America, yes, busier than the 405 in Los Angeles.  

Driving on these high speed roads require a lot of patience and a lot of defensive driving skills and also being very cognitive of your surroundings.

I have an 85 year old neighbor that mows his 5 acres, fixes potholes in the road, cuts down his dead trees, etc all on his own. He's amazing and the fact that he can still do those things is because he still does them! I fully support elderly folks doing what they can to stay active and live a life of purpose. I'd much rather have a senior out mowing than sitting on his couch all day.

My opinion of the 80 year old driving on a long road trip is a little different. Fact is, your reflexes just aren't as quick as you age. She could seriously injure someone on the road if she pushed herself too hard.