Argh….men (not all men!)

I think you are incredibly wise to take some time before having a conversation with your husband about what he said. Saying something during an argument isn’t the best way to let your partner know that something is bothering them, but then a lot of men find it difficult to communicate on a regular basis.

My best friend of over 25 years is a gay man and he just recently called me on our differences in communication styles. I out talk him without even trying. Years ago when I told him how to use the microphone icon that would translate his words to type helped him tremendously because he was a single finger typist and would fatigue quickly. I would text a paragraph and get four words in response. He still prefers a phone conversation, but I tend to text instead because then the recipient can read it when convenient for them. And he said it isn’t just me, his sisters are the same as I am. We looked up the average word usage for males and females and since he is gay, he gave himself more words than the typical man😄. Women use an average of 20,000 words a day, compared to the mere 7,000 that men utter. He gave himself a 10,000 word volume, still half of your average female. I try to limit my tangents when talking to him and he tries to tell me more details. With both of us making an effort, it is much better and he now texts to find out if it is a good time to call when he has something lengthy to talk about.

When you find the right time, let him know how hurtful his words were. And if there is any truth to what he said, give it some serious contemplation, but be sure to let him know that his delivery sucked. If there is something bothering him, let him know you are willing to hear him, but prefer a sit down conversation rather than having something hurled at you in anger. And ask him if he really meant all of what he said or if he was just saying something to let off steam because he was angry. My ex used to do that. And I would assume he meant every word or why else would he have said it. I never did get him to tell me things that bothered him right away instead of letting it build to boil over. Hence why he is an ex. At least part of the reason.